I'm FUCKING sick of this, come wail with me and help me please.

[MademoiselleFrenglish]

Right. Started my period this morning, onto cycle 12 and I mean BUSINESS. No one seems to want to talk to us until we've been suffering endlessly for over 48 years, so I'm taking matters into my own hands.

I've obviously read all there is to know about conception and what you should/shouldn't take bla dee bla but I'm looking to go back to basics and would like some MN knowledge, please.

Me:

• 28 years old
• Regular periods my entire life
• Average cycle 29 - 30 days
• Average luteal phase 12 days
• Periods usually last about 4-5 days with only 2-3 days of heavy bleeding, not too much cramping
• Quit smoking a year ago
• Don't drink much alcohol
• 1-2 cups coffee a day
• Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way
• Healthy diet - I calorie count on My Fitness Pal, diet is mainly Mediterranean as I live in France
• Have had 2 chemicals, I believe, but also possible that the lines were evaps and it was just a dodgy batch

DH:

• 31 years old
• Never had a period 🙂
• Healthy, works out, good diet, quit smoking a year ago, no issues in the bedroom, good sex drive, very good at getting things off of high shelves etc etc

Supplements I take:

• 120mg - 240mg CoQ10 daily
• Folic acid daily
• Vit D daily
• Vit C every now and then

Supplements DH takes:

• 120mg CoQ10 daily as long as I have enough left for me, if so, he goes down to once every couple of days until we can get more
• Vit D

I bought Maca powder recently, I've read the good and the bad but I think I'm willing to give it a go, so will take 1 tsp daily and DH probably will do the same.

Mentally, I'm flitting between "I'm so fucking DONE with TTC screw babies and their stupid little STUPID faces, I don't need one!" or wailing on the bathroom floor in a puddle of my own tears, OR floating around the house in an impenetrable bubble of positivity repeating the mantra "everything will work out in the end" whilst waving around smoky sage and fairy tears. So all in all, pretty good.

I'd just like some advice, really.

Well OBVIOUSLY yes. My mummy has said so plenty of times and she would never lie to me.

@Tigger1116 Oh my you can!! Will order one! Thank you!

This is not medical advice but I recommend getting absolutely shit faced on fizzy wine for 2 weeks over Christmas and shagging all over your sofa.

This worked in a pair of 41/46 year olds that weren’t really trying……

There’s a reason a lot of babies are born in September. I’d spend December not taking anything and letting go.

Then in January start fertilty tests. There’s probably something wrong somewhere.

Look, as a chubby gnome who never did any of those things and lives on chocolate and chicken nugget, I got pregnant first time, both times, I think you're overthinking it. I know it's hard and I'm so sorry you are struggling but the constant monitoring and worrying will just make your body go into stress mode

You know what, this sounds like an absolutely wonderful idea. We've spent a year tracking everything, trying to do everything right, timing sex, saying no to the last glass of wine because we "shouldn't" and clearly none of that has done any good. I think we deserve a month of doing whatever the hell we please!!

Yes I think you're right. I've been a lot more relaxed over the past few months but have still been monitoring and it's just not worth it. I'm taking the month off, @AlltheFs has convinced me 😁

@Amy259 I’m having a Hycosy on Tuesday and really really hoping this does the trick like it did for you! 🤞

Also I think you're a very beautiful chubby gnome. Everyone loves gnomes. And chicken nuggets.

@MademoiselleFrenglish very similar circumstances as you. I was 26, DH 30. Took us 12 months but we got there in the end. I tracked everything, we’ve never been smokers, didn’t drink much, healthy diets etc etc. in the end, DH got sent away with work on covid stuff and we just DTD when he managed to come home rather than tracking the perfect time. That was the month we conceived.

Get a private sperm test - at least you will be able to rule that out.

@buckingmad I read a lot of stories like that, it probably does have something to do with the total relaxation cause you don't think it'll work that month.

@hopingforapeainapod got everything crossed for you! Just keep in mind it likely won’t happen the month you get the hycosy, something to do with the dye lining in your cervix stopping implantation. But the next month 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Can your fertility be affected if you're only a couple of kilos overweight?

p.s. currently 3 cycles into ttc number 2 and struggling to keep my cool in the slightest 👌🏻

No polyester for his nethers, no hot baths, no caffeine, no stress, no soya, have nuts and switch to whole milk.

Or, do the opposite and completely stop trying. That’s the only thing that worked for us both times. 10 months TTC and got our BFP when we stopped trying, and the dates were off too! Those ov sticks are an inaccurate science. I did all the online hormone tests, which came back that I was menopausal (I’m not, I’m 31 and currently pregnant). And DH’s sperm test came back less than perfect too. They’re all a bit hit and Miss IMHO.

Or, lie to the dr and tell them it’s been two years so you can at least get properly tested.

Also, you’re hilarious!

Very small sample size but with both my pregnancies, I have had sex twice on ovulation day (or on positive opk day) maybe worth a try? The just every other day - ish for the rest of cycle (leading up to and after positive opk).

I am many years past my TTC days but I wonder if you've tried tracking your BBT?
ovulation tests, from what I remember, detect the surge of hormone before you ovulate but don't actually show whether you have ovulated.
I had a friend use them for months and get nowhere then started to track her BBT and found out she was actually ovulating much later than the ovulation tests would indicate so they'd basically been missing it every month.
But that's for January, take December off, definitely!

Get a sperm test done. If he has a lower sperm count then sex every day is too much.

loose undies for him and pop them in the fridge before putting them on (cold is his friend). HE has to eat overly healthy for 70 days plus. All the best OP.

Do you orgasm during sex? When you orgasm the end of your cervix lengthens and creates a spoon shape to dip into the semen. It really does. I have an odd shaped cervix and a gynaecologist told me that I should make sure to orgasm either during or before or even immediately after my DH had orgasmed to ensure that my cervix was low. I don’t come during sex normally (I mean without extra work) so I changed that and made babies!!!
Life changing for my sex life as well as my mother status!

Book in sperm test and blood test for next cycle, and then stop tracking and have a month off. My DH and I were spookily similar to you both (in age, lifestyle, and charisma obvs) and it took us 19 cycles to conceive. Had the tests done 12 months in and nothing was highlighted as being an issue. It's boring and shit and frustrating though so I really do sympathise!

As a fertility mentor I would say that this is really bad advice.

Also as a fertility mentor I would really recommend talking to a fertility mentor!

Ovulation sticks etc - pah. Too much pressure.
Have sex when you really really feel in the mood, egg white mucus etc.
And acupuncture.
that’s it.

This is also not just shockingly bad advice but also in considerably bad taste.

I did OPKs both times while TTC… but both times what worked was shagging every day from the end of my period till 4-5 days after the +OPK. Shouldn’t have made a difference but did. Also acupuncture.