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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

I'm FUCKING sick of this, come wail with me and help me please.

133 replies

MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 10:02

Right. Started my period this morning, onto cycle 12 and I mean BUSINESS. No one seems to want to talk to us until we've been suffering endlessly for over 48 years, so I'm taking matters into my own hands.

I've obviously read all there is to know about conception and what you should/shouldn't take bla dee bla but I'm looking to go back to basics and would like some MN knowledge, please.

Me:

  • 28 years old
  • Regular periods my entire life
  • Average cycle 29 - 30 days
  • Average luteal phase 12 days
  • Periods usually last about 4-5 days with only 2-3 days of heavy bleeding, not too much cramping
  • Quit smoking a year ago
  • Don't drink much alcohol
  • 1-2 cups coffee a day
  • Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way
  • Healthy diet - I calorie count on My Fitness Pal, diet is mainly Mediterranean as I live in France
  • Have had 2 chemicals, I believe, but also possible that the lines were evaps and it was just a dodgy batch

DH:

  • 31 years old
  • Never had a period 🙂
  • Healthy, works out, good diet, quit smoking a year ago, no issues in the bedroom, good sex drive, very good at getting things off of high shelves etc etc

Supplements I take:

  • 120mg - 240mg CoQ10 daily
  • Folic acid daily
  • Vit D daily
  • Vit C every now and then

Supplements DH takes:

  • 120mg CoQ10 daily as long as I have enough left for me, if so, he goes down to once every couple of days until we can get more
  • Vit D

I bought Maca powder recently, I've read the good and the bad but I think I'm willing to give it a go, so will take 1 tsp daily and DH probably will do the same.

Mentally, I'm flitting between "I'm so fucking DONE with TTC screw babies and their stupid little STUPID faces, I don't need one!" or wailing on the bathroom floor in a puddle of my own tears, OR floating around the house in an impenetrable bubble of positivity repeating the mantra "everything will work out in the end" whilst waving around smoky sage and fairy tears. So all in all, pretty good.

I'd just like some advice, really.

OP posts:
Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 10:10

I did NOT mean to put so many spaces between paragraphs, looks so pretentious, I'm sorry.

OP posts:
Plumful · 02/12/2023 10:11

Clear blue ovulation sticks?

Outliers · 02/12/2023 10:14

You sound very charismatic lol.

If you're using LH tests to establish potential ovulation and DTD every other day during your fertile window then I think it's worth getting referred to a fertility specialists just to make sure there are no issues. If there are it could be a straightforward fix or more complicated, just depends.

Good luck

AthenaPopodopolous · 02/12/2023 10:18

Just do lots of shagging when u get clear egg-white mucus, that’s the secret to it. That kind of stuff helps the sperm travel up into the cervix. And wine also helps! I’m sure of it.

Feliciacat · 02/12/2023 10:19

At your age, the NHS won’t do anything until it’s been a year. Although, on cycle 12, you’re near enough. I would say for your DP to get a semen analysis and for you to get blood tests (they do them on day 2 of your cycle and day 21 of your cycle to check ovarian reserve, progesterone and thyroid levels). You can get these through your GP and DP will probs need to be referred to a hospital (or that’s what happened for my DP).

That said, our results for these things were normal and I’ve just tested negative for the 13th month in a row! I’m wondering if there’s a uterus lining issue. If you do have the money then you can get a full battery of tests including scans of your uterus for around £500 (or roundabout that price). The NHS is worth trying first.

Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 10:22

Ah yes, should've said - I track my ovulation with Easy@home ovulation sticks and use the Premom app for that. During the fertile week we have sex pretty much every day, and then every other day at least leading up to the fertile week and just after it.

@Outliers Thank you! I've asked my GP to be referred but she hasn't even answered me yet, despite chasing her. I'll ask her about sperm analysis and blood tests.

@AthenaPopodopolous Will add extra wine to my shopping list. I like you 🙂

@Plumful Do you think the CB ones are better than Easy@home? Will add them to my amazon basket, can't hurt at this point!

OP posts:
paulaparticles · 02/12/2023 10:34

Fertility reflexology

Feliciacat · 02/12/2023 12:29

How does that work @paulaparticles? I have no idea. Is it expensive? I’d try anything. Nice username btw.

Doodledeedum · 02/12/2023 12:38

Track egg white
Do the deed when you feel horny ( a good sign you're coming up to ovulation unless you've got the constant horn on of course)
Keep bum elevated after ( old wives tale but hey what the hell ? - I did this)

Magnesium
VIT d
Folic acid

If you're entitled or can push for it have blood work done- check thyroid, iron etc
Have a internal scan ( checking position of uterus/for fibroids etc)
Have checks on progesterone levels during your cycle

Fertility acupuncture

The partner was on pre conception male vitamins

Doodledeedum · 02/12/2023 12:39

I agree with @AthenaPopodopolous
I didn't stop the wine 😉

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 02/12/2023 12:51

At the very least your dh needs a quick sperm test. You might not get a dr willing to see you but he might find a gp willing to request an easy lab test for him.

Castlereagh · 02/12/2023 13:00

Does your partner do a lot of cycling or anything like that? Are you 100 percent sure he's stopped smoking (not vaping or anything). And I know you said you have a healthy diet but are either of you over or under weight? Does your partner overdo it at the gym at all? Anything like undescended testicles as a child or major illnesses, have you ever had PID or anything gynae?
Other than that, I would dtd every other day not every day, and get the basic blood work and analysis done. Time is on your side if you do need any help conceiving.

J3llycat · 02/12/2023 13:04

Have you had him tested at all?

Daisygivemeyouranswerdo · 02/12/2023 13:06

I’m not sure if this is written about often (or a lot) but I used a moon cup once after sex after a couple of months trying and got pregnant that month. I figured it would keep the sperm close to the cervix and it did I guess!

Unabletomitigate · 02/12/2023 13:15

Have a look at this> very interesting. Inflammation affecting fertility.

Title a bit offputting, the discussion at the start of the impact of diet on fertility.

How The Carnivore Diet Affects Your Hormones | Dr Robert Kiltz, MD

✅Join my PATREON for early releases, bonus content, and weekly Zoom meetings! https://www.patreon.com/AnthonyChaffeeMD@doctorkiltz is the Founder and Directo...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIfq0-Mx74o

LambriniBobinIsleworth · 02/12/2023 13:18

At a similar age and with a similar lack of success I had fertility acupuncture. Might have been bollocks but I did get pregnant.

Sunsea21 · 02/12/2023 13:19

Have you tried Angus castus

FloofCloud · 02/12/2023 13:45

Agnus castus
Put or lose a bit of weight depending on if you're a little thin or fat as oestrogen /fat relationship
Get a cat
Get a new job
.. the above take your mind off your problem and helps ... honestly!

Feliciacat · 02/12/2023 13:54

@Unabletomitigate thank you for posting that. I clicked on and it appears to be 2.5 hours long. Can you sum it up in a sentence at all? Is it that meat is good or meat is bad?

Amy259 · 02/12/2023 13:55

@MademoiselleFrenglish you are me August 2021. We could be the same person. Except I’ve never smoked and I live in Scotland…

But all the rest, snap. And by cycle 12 I had tried IT ALL. Every herbal supplement on the planet, “preseed” lube and a ferti-Lily every time we dtd, sex lots, sex every second day, sex just once. Positions, acupuncture, teas, you name it, I had done it!

It was covid times so nhs wait times were massive, so after my GP had done the bloods we were told referral was at least another year. So I went to just a private scan clinic (like baby ultrasounds) that offered “health checks” - she checked the lining of my uterus was thick enough, and that my ovaries were active. Was about £50.

Then I went for a private HyCoSy at a fertility clinic, that was £500. If you can access a stand-alone test (and are able), I couldn’t recommend it more. Flushed my tubes, saw there was some mucus in my right so she flushed again until it cleared. I got pregnant the next month. If you Google it, you’ll see the same had happened to many - not a guarantee, and expensive, but it was certainly worth it for us.

Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 14:14

Yes 100% sure he's quit smoking and vaping. We live and work together so are never apart and it was his idea to quit in the first place. We're both on nicotine patches. He doesn't cycle, he works out at home and mainly does body weight exercises and yoga, so no overdoing it.

We're both healthy weights overall, doctor has no concern with that. He could do with putting on 2kg and I could do with losing 2kg. I'm size 8 usually, sometimes 10.

He had a hernia as a baby and another in his 20s, not sure if that could affect anything? I've never had any health issues other than a broken bone as a child, same for him. Most I've had gynaecological wise is a UTI about a year ago.

I think getting a blood test for both of us and a sperm test for him is the reasonable first step?

I'll look into a moon cup, will have to figure out how to stick it up there!

OP posts:
Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 14:16

@FloofCloud I have a cat! He's a bastard, but still a cat.

OP posts:
Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 14:17

@Amy259 Ooh thanks for that, I'll bring that up with my GP next time I go, try to get the ball rolling a little bit.

OP posts:
Tigger1116 · 02/12/2023 14:18

You can buy sperm checking kits online

Ttcmumof · 02/12/2023 14:18

Ok I’ll bite. Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way? 🤣