IVF Buddies: the next chapter

[SarahShorty]

Tagging @Triselly @lemons44 @CR7 @Flowerlover010 @pongom @WholeZebra @TheBirdintheCave in a new thread as the last one stopped accepting new messages.

I need help urgently. I have done my last egg collection but only 2 embryos fertilized. Clinic is recommending transferring both at day 2. I had two failed attempts with one embryo before, albeit one actually implanted but was a blighted ovum…
I already have twins from an IVF 10 years ago, so I think twins again would not be ideal… any thoughts?

@Valentina1985 can you not ask them to transfer 1/freeze 1?

@Triselly they daily they need to wait to day 5 to freeze the other? And we might lose it?

Hi everyone,

Checking back in after a couple of months. How did you get on @Valentina1985 , did you decide to transfer both?

Huuuuuge congratulations @CR7 , just thrilled for you!

So sorry to everyone still going through the rough times. @Triselly you mentioned maybe going again in January? Have you made a start?

After our first round (4 embryos) failed with one early miscarriage, one failed, one that didn't defrost, and one chemical - we were going to try the DIY method again because we had no money left in the pot for more ivf. Having spent a couple of months working through the options with potential known donors, it's not coming together, so we've decided to raid the last savings pot (house deposit) to try again with DW going through treatment. She conceived our DD pretty easily with the DIY method so hoping she'll have fewer issues than me. We don't even know if I have any issues or just got unlucky but we haven't got the cash for tests to find out.

First scans and amh test next week, consult a fortnight after that, and hopefully off we go....

@RunningOnHope Hello there, hope that you are alright ❤️ I was thinking about you and hoping everything was going ok with you guys. How is your wife feeling about it all? It sounds like a positive direction to go in, although it must be very difficult, especially after the last round. How are you doing? Do you have any options with regards to NHS funding?

I saw something interesting, for any women with lots of questions - Dr Tim Child from Oxford fertility and BFN podcast has started his own Instagram account and has been doing q&a sessions, which you can find on his profile (I think it’s @ drtimchild). He has a lot of interesting things to say and in depth information on there, especially how IVF should be seen as a course of treatment rather than a one-off, given the chances of success for the first round. Bit daunting but maybe it’s useful to think like that for some women.

We have just started round 3 - am on day 5 of stims again (4th round of stims in a year 😩). We haven’t told anyone this time - except you guys now, as I want to see if it’s less stressful if I try and make minimal fuss? And then we don’t have to go round telling everyone it failed again. First ultrasound this Friday and then dreaded egg collection probably on Valentine’s Day, so romantic.

I am really worried that we’ll have to cancel again if I haven’t had any response to the stims (same thing happened in September) as this is the only money we have saved to pay for them, we absolutely do not have another 1500 quid anywhere if we have to stop and restart again.

So yeah - worrying about absolutely everything, very little faith in our clinic at this point or in our chance of success, we’ll just have to see how it goes. Sorry to sound so negative - hope that everyone is ok ❤️

Hi @Triselly no need to apologise - the anxieties are very real and it always feels like such a lot at stake, money and emotional energy.

Hope the scan tomorrow gives you a positive start!

My wife is not nervous about the ivf prospect but is about getting pregnant again. She had horrific sickness, months literally unable to get out of bed, with our first and the idea of having that again with a toddler around as well is fainting for both of us. I so wish it had worked out with me. I'm sad about the prospect of not having one with my genes, not getting to do the breastfeeding thing etc etc. But it helps that our DD is going through a phase where I'm the definite favourite at the moment, and it reminds me how completely she's my DD, how utterly we adore each other, and how any other babies that DW carries will be equally and completely mine too.

Impatient to get started now... next week we might get a sense of timelines.

@Triselly and @RunningOnHope Best of luck to both of you ladies! I hope these are the magic rounds that work for you ❤

Hi all, so good to hear from you... @RunningOnHope , fingers really crossed for you here.
I am on day 10 after egg transfer... I finally transferred 2 embryos but they were both day 2 and graded between 3-4 (I understand 4 is the best..)
I need to confess I dont have a lot of hope... I feed=l that my eggs were never excellent and - as I get older - they are horrible!
They just dont succeed... I am already thinking if I will have the courage and the money to try again... or just give up completely and start thinking about other things....
Its been 3 IVF rounds in the last years... 4 embryo transfers.... 1 loss due to infection, 1 blighted ovum, 1 failed... and this one.
I definitely dont feel I have anything growing up in me.... is so sad...

@Valentina1985 When is your OTD? Still have everything crossed for you!

@TheBirdintheCave , I am testing on Monday... I have done a test end of the day on Monday.... and have been afraid of testing again since then...

Checking in today @Valentina1985 - hope you're okay however the test went.

How was your scan @Triselly? Is egg collection on track for Wednesday?

@RunningOnHope , I am okay… but losing hope. I don’t know if I keep trying for life until there is no more money and my tummy can’t bear the needles anymore or if I stop now completely and try to find something else in my life… I feel miserable. 3rd IVF in 2 years… should I take a deep breath? I am starting to think there is something really wrong with my eggs now and there is no way I can have a child anymore…

Hi @RunningOnHope how are you guys doing?

My scan was ok, cheers. The dr said we have to wait a bit longer though, with egg collection possibly on Friday or Monday now, with about 5 follicles. I’m still not at all hopeful for this round, just a self preservation thing I guess. Kind of just want to get it over and done with now.

The cost of the meds have absolutely cleaned us out as well - we’ve spent over 2200 quid this round just on stims. At least we eventually get it back but it’s a bit crippling at the time.

Happy pancake day guys 🥞❤️ hope you are all well xxx

So sorry you're feeling down @Valentina1985. It's so so tough. I think there probably is a time when the most emotionally healthy thing to do is stop and move on with your life but when/if that point comes is going to be really different for different people and only you can know.

Whether you keep going or take a breather, I hope you can find some peace in the days ahead.

@Triselly glad things are going ok, but completely understand the reluctance to get hopes up at all. Will be thinking of you on Friday (or Monday!), let us know if you want to how it goes.

First appt for DW today went well - we won't know her AMH results for a couple of weeks but they said the fact that she's conceived our DD by home insemination and had no problems, is a really positive start. She had a total of 25 antral follicles which seems really positive too - mine were on the lower side at 11 in total when I had my first scan. So allowing myself to Hope a little that it might go better for her than me.

@RunningOnHope hey we have a matching number of follicles! That does sound very positive for your wife, hope that you’re both feeling alright about it all. Do you have a rough date or time when you’re aiming to start a cycle?

I’m killing time right now waiting for egg collection at 10. The dr told me my ovary was hiding again so it ‘will be quite painful’ which I actually wish that she just hadn’t told me as now filled with dread. But we’re in it now, 2,5 hours and it’ll be over with.

Hope you all have good Fridays and nice weekends ladies xxx

@Triselly Good luck today! Are they not totally knocking you out so you don't feel anything?? :O

Hey @Triselly I've been thinking of you today. How was it? Honestly I think it's awful that they said that to you beforehand, way to make you extra anxious- and obviously being anxious doesn't make things any easier! Really really sorry you had that. Hope you're relaxing and feeling relieved that it's over now xx

No sense of timescale here - we have our consultation on 26th so hope we'll find out then. I'd guess April at a push? Maybe May?

Hey there, thank you @RunningOnHope ! It went really well, I made a giant fuss about pain meds and it seems like they gave me a decent dose this time, really wasn’t bad at all. 6 eggs collected, and they’ll call tomorrow morning to let us know about fertilisation rates. But that’s the scary bit over and done with 😅 for now.

TGIF guys xxxx

So pleased to hear it @Triselly, hooray for those 6 eggs! Praying for a good result tomorrow. And relax...!

@Triselly Come on eggies! :D

Just checking in @Triselly, but feel free to ignore if you don't feel like updated - don't want to hassle you! Hope there's an embryo growing strong...

Hello @RunningOnHope and thank you for the nice words ladies ❤️

I had one 8-cell fresh embryo transferred yesterday, we have one other 7-cell embryo still at the clinic and they’re gonna message tomorrow about whether it survives to day 5, I am not hopeful though as none of our others (out of 10 embryos from 3 cycles) have ever made it to day 5 (except for our first ectopic).

We seemed to have a pretty poor response this cycle, only 2 fertilised eggs, I am not sure if that’s just a normal age-related thing or if something is going wrong somewhere? I had covid for the first time in July and it really knocked me off my feet for weeks and weeks, so am not sure if maybe that has ruined all my chances?😅😨 Following that I’ve had one cancelled cycle, one failed cycle and now this one.

So 1dp3dt now, had a mad panic yesterday when I had some spotting a few hours after transfer, but I reckon that was probably just from an irritated cervix rather than everything going wrong this early.

Ugh sorry for the long negative rambling, am glad to be back in the PUPO/hope zone, at least for a week or so 🥰

How are you all doing? Xx

Ooh congrats for having that little embryo on board! So so hope that this is the one for you. I bet the two weeks ahead feels loooong. Rooting for the other little one to surprise you and make it to tomorrow.

@Triselly I really, really hope this is your one!

@Triselly my fingers are firmly crossed and sending so much love and hope to that tiny embryo!

all good this end - 36 weeks now and everything is starting to hurt and I feel like a whale! Baby is breech and I’m trying everything to turn her but don’t think it’ll be successful so it looks like we’re heading for a C-section which is taking a bit of getting used to!