TTC after early miscarriage

[RaisingCornishWildlings]

Morning!
So I sadly suffered an early miscarriage at 5w just over a fortnight ago.

We have 3 children already (6,4 and 19m) and I'm 40, hubby 47.

Lovely staff at EPU said crack on again as soon as I'm ready- and not to worry about having a period first.

I've always had pretty irregular cycles anyway and have never tracked ovulation (we have been very lucky and fallen pregnant super easily- and this was my first MC).

I think I have just ovulated (Sunday) which was 14 days since spotting (main bleed from miscarriage was Tues 11, Weds 12 Oct).

My symptoms were bloating on Fri and Saturday, and real drop in mood over the weekend (I've noticed this has happened a few times a couple of weeks before period since cycles started after DD was born), by yesterday my mood was much more stable again. On Sunday I had mild nausea and very mild cramping (more like little twinges).
We DTD Sunday night.

So have fingers crossed that something might have happened!

I noticed yesterday evening and today I'm peeing more than usual but apparently that can be a sign of ovulation too.

I'm going to be a crazy lady symptom
spotting for a fortnight now! Have a cervical screening booked for a week today (wondering if I should cancel it?!)

What's the earliest anyone has had symptoms after DTD that turned out to be early pregnancy? And how many DPO have you got a positive?

Aw thanks. I'm feeling alright about it now. Will just be avoiding this individual for the foreseeable. Going to chase up my bloods next week. I feel like giving up TTC this time everyyyyy month 🫠😂 so just trying to remember I'll feel okay in a few days and have got some fun things planned this month too.

Hope you're doing better today x

Hows everyone doing?.

Had a down day today. Reallt stressful patient facing day at work. Then a college telling me about her daughter being pregnant and realising how far along I would have been now sent me over the edge. Well that and the thought of my best friends scan tomorow knowing I'm going to be sent pictures. All sent me into crazy woman mode who wants the world to just f**k off away from me for a while lol.

Home now and in the bath finally winding down and thought I'd check in on the ladies who fully understand this level of craziness lol.

Hope everyone is okay and had a nice weekend xx

@miamiamia869 sounds like a really tough Monday ❤️ this virus is kicking my ass which frankly feels like kicking someone when they're down 😂

When the scan picture comes in, immediately delete (for you - blame phone storage if she notices) say how lovely and pretend you're incredibly busy and will check in with her later ❤️

I'm emotionally feeling a bit better today, I messaged both my pregnant friends asking for space, I feel I can breathe for a few months - going to try and focus on non pregnancy thoughts and activities (mainly the pub 😂)

I think it's always worth remembering that we all have a 100% success rate at getting through our bad days..that's pretty good going in my book x

@miamiamia869 ah hope you’ve had a nice relaxing bath, it’s so bloody hard to navigate sometimes isn’t it.. Is it worth asking your friend for space? Does she know what you’ve been through? Big love, some days feel dark. We’re lucky to have groups like this where everyone knows the feelings aren’t we.

I tweaked my back at the weekend and now have full blown sciatica.. I got it bad last year for about 4 months so todays vibe has been “what the f* did I do wrong in a past life, I must have been a really evil cow” 😂🤪

@ThelastRolo20 glad you're feeling a bit better and good on your asking for the space.

@miamiamia869 definitely sounds like a hard Monday. Thankfully I have no one close around me pregnant or talking about it right now as that's always tough. I was feeling rubbish all weekend but ok now so hopefully tomorrow will be better for you too.

I'm feeling a bit less pessimistic today, it helps that we DTD at what my apps estimate as ovulation so I actually have a little chance this cycle now. Not as much as I'd like as ideally we'd have been DTD all the fertile window!

I'm glad we all have this thread to both let off some steam but also try and lift each other.

I've got a family wedding at the end of this month so if it's a negative this cycle then I'll enjoy a few drinks there to cheer me up 😅 trying to think of that to keep me going.

@ThelastRolo20 good plan, I’ve never left a pub feeling in a worse mood than when I went in!!!

Aww I've had a crappy day too. Not that I'm glad you're all with me, just nice to know I can be a grump here 😂

@ThelastRolo20 Hope they responded well, equally can't see why they wouldn't!

@miamiamia869 I agree just don't open the photo. It's not a bad thing, it's protecting yourself. One thing I learned in all of this is that's the absolute most important thing right now!

@mumsince2021 We have done it loads and not worked so not sure it makes much difference anyhow! We've done nothing different to when we have got pregnant easily. Complete luck... and balanced hormones 😂Glad you managed to cover o day 🙏

@Blueskies4 that has been my vibe for months maybe that's my problem 😂😂 Hope your back isn't too painful xx

Also for those who are a few cycles of trying after their mc, I was deep in a thread last night when I was fed up....

The concencus was actually not everyone was more fertile after- shocking I know 😂 and a lot were panicking like myself 🙃😂 but actually everything was fine - it just took a little longer for whatever reason, even when they'd fallen quickly before. So if anyone needs to hear that, that's why I'm sharing. It made me feel a bit calmer, for a night anyway 😄

@Claudiasaz haha I know right.. I was getting caught up with the fact that in "real life" I don't know anyone who's had two MCs. Speaking to the in laws today and they reeled off quite a few people who had had two MCs, sometimes more, and still managed to complete their family.

It really helped me feel less hopeless. Not all scenarios are covered just by the individuals we know in our lives. I'm hoping one day I can give people hope and say I had two MCs, and still went on to have a healthy baby.

I'm just on countdown waiting for first period post op. Hoping it isn't delayed too long so I get a gist for what's happening whilst gearing up for April, husband won't know what's hit him that fertile week 😂

@ThelastRolo20 I love your little positivr quotes, that is quite true lol. Glad you are feeling a bit better and the space from your friends pregnancies will hopefully help. Sure they will understand.

@Blueskies4 nobody at all knows except my husband. Not even out parents. I kept it quiet sometimes I'm pleased I did other times I just want to scream it from the rooftops but all in all I do think it was the right choice for me. Hope your back gets better.

@mumsince2021 glad you are feeling a bit better and a good old wedding will be good. I'm so glad I found this thread too. To share the things with people who understand.

@Claudiasaz I've emotionally prepared for it and then I will just close it off and try to move on .

I hope we all have better days today x

Well if you need to chat today.... You know where we are @miamiamia869 x

thank you :-) @Claudiasaz

The photos came and she found out the sex too. I just congratulated and archived that group chat lol.

I feel so down about it all like it's never gonna happen. Only ever been pregnant once with my misscarriage and can't help but think thayt was my.only chance and now it's gone.

But negativr Nellie here is gna take a leaf out of @ThelastRolo20 book and be a bit more positive lol .... and realise I am lucky compared to what some women have gone through.

X

@miamiamia869 I know people say it a lot but honestly it is a really positive thing you have been pregnant. I think some of us (me too hahah) just have confused hormones for a bit longer and need a little longer to recover.

I am completely fed up too. Sending hugs.

I was due first week in April and it's coming around so fast, I have no idea how I'll cope to be honest. I really expected I'd be pregnant and it would soften the knock. 😞

@miamiamia869 well done, even responding was a brave thing and you then looked after yourself by archiving it ❤️

It's okay to be sad about it, more than okay. It will get easier over time.

Like @Claudiasaz I'm due in April (although 28th), it's coming around fast. Let's just remember we have a group here that can understand better than a lot of people ❤️

@Claudiasaz @ThelastRolo20
Oh I feel it with the due date. I wasn't due till May but I even feel like that is creeping up. What you say about wanting to be pregnant by then to soften the blow rhat is how I feel and its adding pressure and making me worse. God I'm having a bad week lol.

Yeah I have heard that it's positive we have been pregnsnt. I do think that too. But it seems months by month it chips away at my positivity and I get more and more sfrsid it won't happen. I am fully consumed at the moment. Not working tomorow so won't be so bored hopefully and can try and control my thoughts onto something else.

@miamiamia869 can you take yourself out for a nice lunch tomorrow? Or go for a nice walk? It's not much, but may help slightly x

@miamiamia869 great idea food helps everything.

Also plan some fun things. I think we sort of unintentionally put our lives on hold "just in case" we are pregnant but in reality you can still probably do planned things if you do happen to fall. I'm going to try and take my own advice too by the way 🙃😂

@Claudiasaz exactly. We are putting ourselves on hold for the 2ww which is 50% of our month. I can't get motivated for anything in the safe 2 weeks cause I know I will be stopping after ovulation. And them safe 2 weeks I just spend thirsty and holding my wee for ovulation strips. I had no idea this world existed until misscarriage. I just can't seem to control my own brain atm.

@ThelastRolo20 well tomorow is housework day so thay will keep me busy but I will get the dog out for a nice walk. That always helps getting out in nature and moving (please don't rain) lol

Well I just had the fun of bumping into one of my friends at nursery that I just asked for some space from 🤦‍♀️ she was so normal and lovely and I basically said hi and hurried inside 😂

It did make me realise though that I did the right thing. As soon as I saw her all I could think was "you're pregnant" - it was the only thought in my head. It's so horrible what this does to us isn't it @Claudiasaz @miamiamia869

Hi ladies

Sorry, trying to get toddler to sleep and hit post before I'd typed!
Sorry to see so many of you feeling extra down at the moment. I'm now on 8DPO and stupidly caved and did a test this morning- negative, obviously!

I am swinging between being quietly hopeful and trying so hard this month not to symptom spot, but then the next wave of thoughts is "why should I expect it to be any different this month, when it's been sh1t the last 3 cycles!

I wouldn't have been due until June so I'd be about half way through now, finding out the sex etc, and getting super excited.

So desperate to get that positive test but then I feel like if I do, it'll never amount to anything past a few weeks.

Hubby has said he'll humour me and take a good quality multivitamin and be booze free until we can try again if we aren't lucky this cycle. He deploys for 5 weeks mid February so we will have a cycle off. I think after that maybe will try two more cycles and then give up cos of age gaps etc. so just got everything crossed!!

@ThelastRolo20 aww thats a relief for you that she's totally fine. That is seriously all I would be thinking too so thats good.

I feel exactly the same as you @RaisingCornishWildlings ... I am 10dpo today tested after cramping waking me up all night. I'm certain it's period cramping and the massively negative test confirms it. Like you desperate to get a positive but I don't have much faith and then if I did I have no plan passed that as I would just be worried mc would happend again.

I deffinatly won't give up yet as this would be my first but it took me 2 years to fall pregnant with my miscarriage. I keep adding it up and thinking if it took thay long again I'd be 36. Just seems like such a battle!

When af arrives I am deffinatly taking up running. I had put on weight b4 I was pregnant but I've put on even more but I'm just sitting around getting fatter and fatter.scared to do anything through the 2ww.

Obviously I was never like this before mc, I was sooooo laid back. X

@miamiamia869 we both know 10DPO is early to test and if cramping is implantation, it'll be a few days yet before hCG shows up! Keeping everything crossed for you!

I'm continuing with my CrossFit style classes 2 a week but been doing it almost a year now so even in the 2WW I'm hoping it's not doing anything negative as my body is used to that type of exercise. I am overweight though and seriously need to put distance between myself and the biscuits!

I know plenty of people who didn't start their families til their mid 30s, so I'm remaining hopeful And optimistic for you!