2023 TTC 35+ Part 4

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread, ladies!!!!

Hope you can all find it.

Feel free to tag others to continue the conversation.

Amh is very relevant overall - not just ivf

Hertility health is very thorough
They test 4 and look at so so much

Def well spent 150 quid

@JustTrying1 welcome to the thread (slightly belatedly!)

@MixedCouple so sorry for your loss. I had to comment because I have also just had a CP and bizarrely, my 2 1/2 year old boy made several comments this cycle about 'baby' - including pointing at my tummy 3 days after ovulation and saying 'baby in there!' - it was so bizarre that I made note of all the things he said on my PreMom notes. How very strange.. maybe little ones really are in tune with these things. Hopefully it means they know a sibling will be on the way soon 🥰

On that note, my GP rang today with the results of my blood test. HCG was eeeeeever so slightly raised - level of 3!!!! But it was enough for her to acknowledge that I was right (after fobbing me off a little on Tuesday) and admitting it seems I've had a 'biochemical miscarriage'. So I feel validated. I really thought the test would be negative given I'd been bleeding for 24hrs already at that point. Hopefully it won't happen again, but if it does, at least this means this one now counts and I'd be on a quicker path to additional help, or more early scans etc if needed.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. X

I am learning so much from you guys.

I am going to call the GP tomorrow to arrange checks for me and OH. Previous HCP so aware of wait times and expectations. My BIL is a conaultant OBGYN 25yrs+ so whatever results I get I can send over to him. And if I atruggle with the NHS we can fly over to him and got eveeything done right away.

@SnookyPook Oh. my. God! noway!! Are you serious. That is super freaky! I will add it to my notes as well.

Glad you managed to get the test and they confirmed your suspicions.

My dear mother is my little cheerleader and still thinks I have hope. sigh I wonder if I will be that's optimistic when I am in my 60's 😂

I know I might be jumping the gun, I am a realist and always investigate and look at all possibilities. In the back of my head I have been wondering if I may be approaching PeriMenapuase.
At 36 my cycles took a decline around 28 become longer and then more irregular and vary month to month. Started gradual but is so erratic in the last 2 years. That is a huge red Flag. I put it down to nursing but still the same 2 months weaning.

Maybe being a debbie downer. But this has encouraged me to see the Dr sooner rather then later.
It is what it is. If that ia the case at least I know where I stand. And not being ignorant each month hoping/expecting something that might not ever happen again.

Interesting. I spoke to my OH about this pre marriage. The topic of us being unable to have kids. And I am glad I did as we are both on the same page. If it is just the 1 LO we are happy. I was blessed to have LO 1st Month TTC In 2021 and had a smooth pregnancy and the L&D I dreamed of with an easy recovery. I have no regrets at least. No whats ifs etc. If this is my lot in life then I am pleased with how things went.

Of course I wish I met my OH when I was 20 in my fertile years and have 5/6 kids as I always dreamed, but we only met when I was 32 married at 33 fell pregnant 6 months later. Not my timeline not my choice.

Anyway! Debbie downer leaving the chat

@MixedCouple i can totally relate ! I have posted with similar concerns.
I’m 37, have one child (conceived aged 26) and have been trying for 4/5 cycles now. My periods have always been somewhat irregular but they evened out after my daughter. Then over the past couple of years they have been increasingly unpredictable - they got very heavy at one stage, then I had 14 day cycles and 50+ day cycles. Hot flushes, anxiety, spotting, thinning hair etc. I’ve been to the GP and they walk the line between dismissive and encouraging. They say they have never seen anyone of my age with early perimenopause where there isn’t a known family history.
All tests were clear.
I went back to the GP and am getting further blood tests and I see it includes testosterone which I guess is to look at PCOS. That could be another explanation for me.
Seeing a medical herbalist has been great. The mix of herbs inc agnus castus I take has really helped. It’s a hormonal imbalance whatever label you give to it - PCOS, perimenopause etc. If it is peri the GP told me the management would be combined pill at this stage. I was surprised and thought hrt but there you go. Personally I think my symptoms and irregular periods are down to low progesterone so I have been trying to improve diet and lifestyle to support this.
don’t know if that helps or if it’s just a vague ramble?!

Also I recently came across this link which is the best simple overview of TTC and timing that I have seen -
https://www.fertilityweek.org.nz/archive/fertility-week-2018/fertility-topics/timing/

Does anyone check their cervix regularly? Is it helpful or just another thing to add to the list that I don’t need to be worrying myself with?

@CurlyWurly1991 your links are just 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽! Thank you for sharing this one with us xxx

@CurlyWurly1991 That is a great link. Thanks for that

@MrsBP15 I tried when we were TTC our first, but never really seemed to get the hang of it. I think it helps give you the full picture. Ans is especially useful if you don't get a lot of CM to read your body signals. But teah couldn't quite figure out to do it.

Sorry you are feeling a bit down @MixedCouple . I am of a similar mindset though. I would live a second one, but if I can only have my one boy then I am still perfectly content and happy.

My body signals are all over the place and I am unsure if I actually ovulated yet or will do.
CD21 and normally my cycles are pretty bang kn 28 days.
But my BBT took even more if a nose dive today. My RHR on the other hand has spiked.
I have some sort of increased CM. I think creamy so that would signal luteal phase.
I still get cramping. And today my back us in agony. But I have been cleaning the house all day. So that's probably the reason.
Also had another migraine today and normally I get those only around ovulation and my period.
I am just worried about the thought I might not have ovulated. Because this is my first month back TTC, I don't know if I have actually been regularly ovulating.

Get the cheap ovulation tests and get into habit of testing am and pm

I think it would put your mind at ease if you do track ovulation. Now there is no way to tell your follicle actually released an egg unless you do IVF but still... if you have no medical conditions, it typically means you ovulate if you get a peak on ovulation sticks.
I never understood how to check your cervix and the whole CM thing as I don't get much, so for me it was very helpful. Especially because I found out I ovulated later than I thought.
Easy@home ones are cheap and good.

@SnookyPook I'm glad you got some closure. It sucks that you went through a CP but at least you know those were positives and not indents. I hope you're feeling alright and looking forward to a new start

Last cycle post my IUI procedure and my ovulation I started taking progesterone. I found it interesting that when I got my period, I was so much heavier than normal. I had 0 spotting days beforehand and I had 4 days of heavy flow with (tmi!!!) chunks. At 10dpo I started with OPKs and the line is much darker from the get go and there is an actual progression, whereas before I had super light lines for days and then I go to my peak without progression.
Anyways, just some random observations.

On a more sentimental side of things.... I'm sitting here at mount Sinai fertility clinic waiting to do my blood work and ultrasound to check if my ovulation is coming for second round of IUI and I feel so lonely. Yes, my partner is at home with our toddler and he's supportive, of course, but I have no one else I can share with. None of my friends know I'm doing IUI or that we are even trying for baby #2.
I know some women have such strong female friendships and support but unfortunately I do not. In my day to day, I am so busy with my son who is at home with me and working full time, that I don't usually desire much interaction, but I guess moments like these I wish I had someone to tell or even someone to ask how it's going. I have this group of women and for that I'm grateful. You've all been so much support to me and I appreciate all of you.
/sappy rant over

@VixFromThe6ix Bless you, it can be such a lonely experience sometimes. I am grateful to you for starting this thread in the first place and I think it no coincidence whatsoever that I joined an online group like this (which I never ever do!) right before I had the MMC and quite possibly the hardest few weeks of my life to get through, but everyone on here was phenomenal, so thank you forever for that x

@VixFromThe6ix see, you’re not the only one who can do sappy

@Eirlys1986 you always know just what to say ❤️

CD13 for me in my first cycle of ovulation testing, still nothing but will keep testing twice a day.

Also don't really have anyone to talk to about this IRL, my best friend has really struggled with fertility issues and is just starting down the adoption route with her husband. We basically didn't really talk other than very superficially for around 7 months when she found out about my first pregnancy.
Also don't want to talk to my husband too much as I don't want him feeling under pressure.
Glad to have this group to chat/vent/pick your brains!

Depending on cycle length and hormones u may ovulate atound day 21 or day 27 ish if longer cycles

Do any of you take floradix liquid b4 conception ?
Gynae recommended it to me when they rang this pm
Ordered off amazon
And starting it tomorrow
Will help keep / get iron - zinc - b6 - b12 numbers up/staying up

I usually get my peak cd15-16 so I'd say you're fine just keep testing.

Sorry about your friend. I know it must have been tough not to share with her what you're going through during your pregnancy. My situation is different in that from my fri NDA I was the only one having a hard time TTC and so after opening up once when I had my first MC, I stopped sharing. And to be honest, no one really asked where I'm at now... I'm glad you're also finding this group of women supportive in your journey

@SouthwestSis I have only just had a positive Opk at cd45. I found a reassuring video that said ‘an egg is an egg is an egg’ and it doesn’t matter how late you ovulate in terms of egg quality. It’s sitting there regardless in your body. It’s just about trying to catch it 😉

@VixFromThe6ix I think that's why MN is so good! Because although we can't be there in person we are there to talk to. It's not an easy ride and a private one at that, so being able to talk to other people about it albeit online is brilliant.
I don't have a big circle of friends at all and certainly not people to talk to about this. My closest friend is still going through this having several failed attempts at IVF and we don't even talk about it that much just because it's such a emotional thing and we both aren't that way inclined when it comes to talking about it. I find it much easier on here.

I'm 3DPO today and despite telling myself I won't symptom spot it appears it's just second nature at this point in the cycle! Although I am confused why my nips are sensitive - I'd have expect that either in the run up to O or AF not just after O. Had to deliver some home truths to DH too. He's mega excited about the idea of having a child and I've had to keep reiterating how difficult it will be (because of my history). I think he understands, he says he does, but part of me just hopes he does appreciate its a rollercoaster.

i can really relate @JustTrying1
the first cycle I felt pregnant and told DH that much… regretted it afterwards when I got the bfns
ive tried to be really careful what I share with him since, but it’s really difficult when they are going through it by your side.
in general my impression from MN is that a lot of partners are super positive whereas it’s the mother to be that is more hesitant and cautious. I am trying to be realistic with DH and tell him it might not happen, various factors are against us, etc. That doesn’t mean there isn’t hope that it will succeed , just some realism.
I was convinced first time that it would never happen and it did, I think many people have that experience. But I was over 10 years younger…