TTC a Rainbow...

[Halpmer]

Hello everyone. I thought I'd start a thread to see if anyone else is out there TTC their rainbow baby 🌈 and wants to join me?

Any loss is a valid loss here, early miscarriage, late miscarriage, chemicals, TFMRs etc. I know we can sometimes face judgement from others or have others not understand!

@inthewest my first one I was 8 weeks it took nearly 3 weeks and the second one I was 9 weeks and it took over 4 weeks. Do you have to go back in for a scan or anything? If everything is not passed it could be why levels are still high, I bled for like 2 weeks or so! X

Unfortunately I'm on the 'short-lived excitement' train this time... CB weeks indicator which should have been 2-3 by now has come up with Not Pregnant (after a couple of faint internet cheapies yesterday) which is pretty conclusive!! No bleeding yet but at least I know it's coming. Just hope it doesn't take too long now.

This has hit me far less hard than my MMC in April. I guess I'd had less time to feel hopeful etc. It almost feels more surreal than anything. I'm still trying to home in on the positives that we've got pregnant twice in the space of 8 months, and less on the mad panic about egg quality etc 😬🙃

The right one will come at the right time. I'm sure whenever my rainbow does come along, it will make absolute sense why I had to wait for them. 🌈💕

I'm devastated to read this this morning @SnookyPook so sorry 😓 but your attitude is great and absolutely right, thinking of you x

@SnookyPook I'm sorry to read that. Not to get your hopes up but I, and many other users, find the CB digital very unreliable. Glad you're in a good headspace though for whatever may happen. Defo a positive that you were able to conceive! I'm hoping for you all is ok ❤️

@Kellyaust @Daniki thanks ladies. Yeah I've heard CB digital can be unreliable but I always thought it was more regarding quantifying the no.weeks rather than giving a false negative etc. I think combined with the faint internet cheapies yesterday it is most likely that this one has just faded out before it properly began. It's sad but I was kind of braced for it. I'm focusing more on the positive that we conceived again and will just hope and pray that the next egg/sperm combo is healthier! Our Rainbow will get here eventually 💕🌈

Hope everyone else is doing ok? Xx

Oh @SnookyPook this is such a shock to read - I can only imagine how it actually feels. I’m so sorry. You sound very pragmatic about it, and positive for the future, which is amazing. I’m sure there will be ups and downs in mood and thoughts though - you can bring them all here. I hope the process is as smooth and straightforward as it possibly can be. Will you engage with GP/EPU at all?

Oh @SnookyPook I'm so sorry.

I've been away for a little while and just dipped back in...

Unfortunately I had my 3rd loss last Monday. (TFMR at 25weeks, chemical and now 6weeks). Thank you for sharing your experience, I love your outlook so much. Today I am feeling much lighter and more optimistic. We have bloods booked in via the EPU for some investigations in a few weeks and I've just started taking Ovum supplements after reading It starts with the egg (£££ but cheaper than buying them all separately!) but didn't know if you knew about this?

Sending love to everyone, dipping back out for a while again I think xxx

@Vic231 oh I'm so sorry for your loss 😔 on top of the previous ones too that is so tough. I've not heard of the Ovum supplements but I just said to my husband earlier that I might want to find a better prenatal vitamin. Being 37 it's hard not to imagine a link to egg quality in all this 😌

@Oxalis00 thank you ❤️ I have had a cry and I'm sure there will be more tears. However, in a weird way, I'm still mourning the MMC more than this?! I'd barely had time to get involved with this one and I think I was a little braced for problems after what happened last time. So, much as I felt happy and excited, the knock back down to earth hasn't hit as hard. Part of me is pleased that my body recognised a non-viable pregnancy before it got as far as 11/12wks this time. But of course there was that nugget of hope that this could be the rainbow and now I'm back at square 1 again which is hard.

I may also dip out again for a bit... it definitely helped me to obsess less last cycle and whilst it's not ended well, I can't help thinking that did help to conceive at least. Probably just superstitious but hey 🙃

@SnookyPook Yeah I can see how a CP would get bundled in with the feeling of the MMC - it’s not like that sadness or worry had gone away, it’s just more of the same feelings without the shock you must have had with the first. Have you had any bleeding yet? Hope you’re doing ok. Totally understand choosing to step away from the boards for a bit. I admire your willpower being able to do so! I think I’m a bit addicted, probably mistaking knowledge for the ability to control anything… On the subject of trying to control/optimise things if you’re looking for a new prenatal I quite like Proceive. I take the tablets, the sachets sound gross, but they are recommended for the 35+ like us…!

Question for everyone: how do you manage life planning while TTC?! I need to decide whether to commit to an international work thing next Spring, but I’m hoping I’ll be pregnant by then (if I got lucky next cycle, and stayed lucky, it would be 6/7 months, though obviously this isn’t guaranteed) and I feel nervous about being away from home/UK for several days. That’s best case scenario! Given my complicated MMC I also worry about what could go wrong in the meantime, and whether I’ll be in the middle of another miserable process of surgery, severe blood loss, anaemia etc. But I don’t feel I can decline on the basis of what ifs! It’s the sort of thing I’d need to properly commit to - if they need someone else to do it they need to know soon, it would be pretty bad to pull out last minute. I guess I could if I was mid-MC (though it would kind of advertise it to the sector) but not just for being pregnant and nervous. What do I do?!

@Oxalis00 honestly I just book in life and if I get lucky I'll move stuff around then! No point worrying about what ifs that probably will never happen. My first pregnancy took 2.5 years and second took 6 months and both ended in MMC so I'm now of the mindset that I need to take each day as it comes. If you do get and stay pregnant you won't be the first pregnant person the company will have to work around and you won't be the last, so please don't worry yet. I'd say put yourself down for it and see what life brings. No point in missing out on the good things whilst TTC, it makes life miserable!

@Oxalis00 thank you, and yep, bleeding started this morning which I'm glad about as didn't want it dragging on. I was looking into Proceive and wondering if it's worth the money!

On your other news, I kind of agree with @moosey89 ... there are so many unknowns. If by any chance a pregnancy down the line interrupts something it would be a nice problem to have to deal with. I get you don't want to cause issues for your work place but they would simply have to work it out wouldn't they. Meanwhile, if by any chance you are still TTC by next Spring, you'd be so annoyed at the missed opportunity. In summary: live life on the definites and if/when they change, adapt. ☺️

Thanks @SnookyPook and @moosey89 - voices of reason! I’m a bit nervous about doing the thing anyway as it’s professionally a step up for me, and I’m sure that factors into my worries.

@SnookyPook after I posted about Proceive I actually looked up Ovum which @Vic231 mentioned and I’m sold! They seem like they know their stuff (eg they don’t include L’arginine based on recent studies) and they also fund few et Ilott research. So I bought a jar! Expensive but who knows, it might speed up TTC which would save money?!

/

That weird blip is supposed to say “fertility research” - sorry!

Hi girls 👋🏻
I'm currently CF 36 and no Keri of and negative tests 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
It's so in nerving as it's making me anxious because if my ectopic in March.
I hate not knowing 😥 x

So so sorry @Vic231 and @SnookyPook . Sending love to you both, it's so hard ❤️

How is everyone doing?

I'm very nervous but I have a positive test 😊. So so anxious about it. At the moment I'm worrying mostly about chemicals (had 2 in the past) and then no doubt if I get past 5 weeks I'll be stressing about miscarrying out of nowhere like last time. But trying to take each day as it comes.
This is 12dpo:

@oop that's fantastic! What a lovely line. I have everything crossed for you xx

@oop this looks like a very strong test for 12dpo, congratulations 😊

@Oxalis00 how are you getting on with the Ovum? TMI but the smell of my first wee after taking them is quite something 😂 but I looked it up and quite normal!

Hi everyone, I was wondering if I could join you all?

I'm 39 in October, and my DH is 43. We had a misscarraige after finding out we were pregnant on our honeymoon and have been ttc for a year now.

I paid for a private scan (£85 and worth every penny at a local scanning room) and the lovely lady said I'm good to go, perfect conditions, same as a 20yr old, many healthy eggs etc..so maybe DH swimmers aren't as great as they used to be. She recommended Macca, which he's taking, and she said it iust takes time.

It's so hard, isn't it, month after month. I have no babies yet, so it does really affect me, and sometimes I just feel like it's only us! I don't feel many people understand mc. Xxx

@oop oh that's a lovely strong line! My CP last cycle never got anywhere near that strong. Everything crossed for you. 🌈🤞🏻💕

@Westsussex welcome! So sorry to hear of your loss. It's just heartbreaking isn't it. Sounds like you had a wonderfully reassuring scan at least - fantastic to know that your eggs etc are all looking good. The sonographer who had a check after my MMC in April commented that my womb and ovaries look healthy and she could see lots of follicles which was so reassuring (I'm 37). Anyway, you definitely aren't alone 💕

How's everyone else? Think I'm CD14 but my opks are a bit different to usual, more of a slow rise than usual so not completely sure when ovulation will be. We've also barely managed to dtd yet this cycle due to toddler going through a bit of a needy sleep phase (perfect timing!) so we'll see how things go. I'm already resigned to the fact that I won't be securely pregnant again by my end of Oct due date as I'd hoped, so 🤷🏼‍♀️

@oop Congratulations! That’s a great start. Taking each day as it comes is all you can do. Crossing fingers for you.

@Vic231 Ha yes, I have that too! The tablets themselves smell pretty grim, but the wee smell is extremely unusual! Do you know what component causes that? Can’t say I’ve noticed any other effects but hopefully the little eggs are appreciating it! I’ve been taking 2 a day generally rather than 3 as I’m rarely home for all 3 meals and not organised enough to have them with me. I figure every little helps though! Not had so much luck getting DH to take his Proceive… Occasionally irritated by that, given how much my body has to carry of the TTC/MC/pregnancy process, but then his laid back mentality is probably a helpful counter to my anxious attempts to control everything…!

@SnookyPook The due date is such a weird and hard milestone isn’t it - not only in how it obviously relates to the MC, but also how it comes to mean so much in relation to TTC afterwards, so that not being pregnant by that point is extra painful. Do you (Or anyone else) have any plans to make the day in any way? I haven’t mentioned the date to anyone, but it is on my mind to try to figure out how I can best spend it. I don’t even know whether I’d want to be busy or alone…

@Oxalis00 I've booked it off work but that's it so far. Not quite sure how I'll feel when it comes to it but knew my mind probably wouldn't be on work! X