TTC a Rainbow...

[Halpmer]

Hello everyone. I thought I'd start a thread to see if anyone else is out there TTC their rainbow baby 🌈 and wants to join me?

Any loss is a valid loss here, early miscarriage, late miscarriage, chemicals, TFMRs etc. I know we can sometimes face judgement from others or have others not understand!

Sorry to hear that @oop - how long have you been ttc?x

@oop totally know how you feel...just found out were not again and it feels rubbish every single time 😑 seems like everyone else is getting pregnant without even trying 😐

@moosey89 since January this time. Miscarriage at 6 weeks at start of July so this was my second cycle since MC. Took 7 months and 2 chemicals with my first and I'm just so over TTC.

@sunflower1988 sorry to hear it's bad news for you too 😞. It's so rubbish, most of the people I know who were pregnant at the same time as me with my first either have a second or are pregnant with their second now which I'm finding quite hard.

Anyone else struggle with setting random pregnancy expectations that are becoming increasingly unlikely? e.g. thinking you'll definitely be pregnant at a certain event that was once months and months in the future and now having to face the fact it's approaching and you're not even slightly pregnant. I have a wedding I thought I'd be pregnant for (because I was going to be if I hadn't MC) and now even if I do catch next month it'll be too early to tell anyone at it anyway. I was all excited to show off a bump as first pregnancy was in COVID and basically no one saw me. So now I just feel weirdly sad about it.

@oop I totally get the over it feeling. Took bloody ages to get pregnant with my ex (2.5 years), ended in miscarriage. Was trying 6 months with my current partner this time that ended in miscarriage too, both miscarriages between 10-11 weeks, so felt I was so close to being safe but nope! Hopefully we don't have to wait too long. I really want to be a mum now :( x

@moosey89 that's so hard, I can't even imagine how difficult it must have been to have got that far along and then have a miscarriage. Ttc can be so cruel. It will happen for you, its just a longer, more painful journey for some of us. But when you have your baby the pain of this time will diminish hugely. It's very hard to remain positive for months on end though I totally get that, I've been very despairing the past few months myself. Fingers crossed we don't have to wait much longer x

@oop yep, I had a few events like that this year I thought I'd be pregnant for, my friends hen, then her wedding last wknd, and a family wedding end of September that's looking not likely either as tested there (early I know 8dpo I think) and negative. Pain in the hole, been trying since jan. Had a chemical in may. Got pregnant so easily twice last year and pet them Both. Very much over TTC!

Hi, how's everyone doing? Amazing to read of a couple more BFPs! 😍

I've been AWOL for a few weeks. I felt like I needed to get out of my own head for a bit and MN wasn't helping me to be in the best place.

Sorry to hear some of you are really struggling. It's so hard isn't it. I feel like I've had to endure so many pregnancy announcements since my loss, one of whom has the exact same due date that mine was. 😌 I think we just have to process everything we're feeling and know that it is ok to feel crap about things when they're crap. My original due date is only just over a month away now and I cannot believe where that time has gone..

@SnookyPook welcome back! I agree, MN can be awful for us going through this so glad you got to take a step back. It's horrible to see it's September tbh and still not pregnant--my feelings anyway!
Hope you're doing ok ❤️

Tentatively joining here, if that’s ok… I recognise a few names from other threads, over on the miscarriage board. I had a MMC (should have been 12 weeks) end of April and it took the best part of 3 months to resolve, with medical management, two surgeries for RPOC and a blood transfusion. Anyway, here I am, out the other side and getting ready to TTC again. I’ve just ovulated but skipping this cycle (doc advised to wait till blood count was back up) so will be trying early next month. Here to try and get my head around it all, as I’ve found it so helpful to see a bit of a path mapped out by others. Congrats to those with BFPs already, and I look forward to sharing the journey with others!

@Daniki thank you.... well my MN break might have done me even more good than I realised.... 15dpo 🤞🏻🌈💕

Also, sorry if this was insensitive to post when some of you are struggling - but, I was struggling too and hopefully this will be a bit of hope for you that things really can change. I was feeling so despondent about my lost pregnancy the last few weeks and just ticking down to the due date etc and watching everyone else getting pregnant (again)... that was partly what drove me off MN as I was struggling to see some of the people from the miscarriage board moving on past 12wk scans with their new pregnancies and it just all got too much. So, sending tons of baby dust to those still in a dark place. Hopefully your very own rainbows will be along soon. ❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️

Also, welcome @Oxalis00 ! Very best of luck when you start trying next cycle. Xx

@SnookyPook oh fab!!! Tentative congrats 🥰🥰🙌🙌🙌 don't be silly not insensitive at all, we've all been through a shit time and we all deserve to get our rainbow and be happy 🥰🙌 xx

@Daniki thank you 😊

@SnookyPook congratulations! I might follow your lead and take a break if that works haha.

I'm CD26, spotting has started so am definitely out this month. My hospital appointment for recurrent miscarriage isn't until 27 Nov and I'm going through fertility clinic tests too (won't get a referral date for that until the tests are done) so it's all go here. Both really depressing but also nice that I feel something is happening to help me try to get my rainbow x

I thought I was out of here, we had out bfp in August, but last week at 7 weeks we found out baby stopped growing a few days before and heart stopped beating. I feel like the hospital is impossible to get a hold of for reassurance. I went with a medical management this time and I'm still cramping and can't get through to them.

It's just not fair. And as its only been 2 we don't get answers.

Congratulations @SnookyPook great news.... I was also ready to give up and took a step back for a while and I'm currently 6 weeks now.

Just for anyone who was following I got my bfp 9dpo, just hit 6 weeks today and been for my epu scan, amazingly all is well and we saw a little tiny embryo with a beating heart 🥺 I am now on progesterone pessaries and go back every 2 weeks to keep a check on progress 🤞❤️🌈

@inthewest so sorry to see this 😔 really feel for you this ttc rainbows is so hard x

@inthewest I'm sorry to hear that, hope you're ok! I had the mm both times and the cramps are insane ☹️

@Kellyaust that's great news! Hope you don't have much anxiety 🥰

@Daniki i wasn't too bad until yesterday and then I was an absolute mess, feel a little better now until the anxiety starts again... Feels so far til 12 weeks, I'm so grateful for now though x

@Kellyaust yea it's very tough, just try and take time for yourself to relax 🙏 impossible I know!

@inthewest I'm so sorry - it's so tough 😔 sending so much love 💕

@moosey89 haha yeah I recommend it! That's great you've got some stuff lined up. As you say, nice to be able to feel proactive about things.

@Kellyaust ah that's such lovely news! I know you had some particularly dark days so I'm so glad that your rainbow has shown up and is doing well so far! That's amazing that you got to see a heartbeat - everything crossed that it keeps developing well.

I feel remarkably calm ATM but I think it's partly because it's not quite properly sunk in yet and I also know it's such tentative early days. I'm trying to enjoy the moment. No doubt there will be many moments of anxiety ahead though... as you say, that wait to 12wks is interminable.

@SnookyPook thank you, tbh from when I found out at 9dpo to 6 weeks has flown so I hope it keeps on like that til 12 weeks then I can relax hopefully but I'm glad epu are helping so much, after just one MMC they're great x

@Kellyaust that's really fantastic! May I ask how you made contact and set things up with them? I know obviously everywhere is different but wondering if it's worth trying with mine and how to broach it.... so glad yours are being so reassuring and helpful!

@SnookyPook yes I literally just rang them when I got my bfp, the nurse I saw in may told me to do so, and she booked me in straight away. They are all different yes so I know I'm lucky to have mine, but they've given me progesterone due to "spotting".... Literally one tiny drop but if you day you spotted at all they have to give you it xx

How long did it take for tests to be negative @Daniki ? I was told 2 weeks and come in if they're still positive, but its 8 days and they're still dye stealers... so I can't see it becoming negative in 6! I was only 6.6 along! I had surgical last time but I was 13 weeks.