2023 TTC 35+ Part 3

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread!!!

The other one filled in so quickly. I'm happy that many of you are finding this space supportive and helpful.

@Kellyaust hi, and sorry to hear about your struggles and loss 🥺

This test looks positive to me! 🤞🏻

I am also with adult now 😱 daughter and 9yr old son, but hoping for baby 3 soon 🥰 So far only chemicals...and ivf planned next month

Massive congratulations @Elen123 🎉, I am genuinely so happy for you 😊. Thankyou for being so considerate in delaying your post because of what some of us were going through at the time, there was absolutely no need to do so but thank you all the same. Exciting! Xxxx
@Kellyaust sorry you are going through a stressful and uncertain time with some horrible symptoms. I sadly just went through a MMC with medical management and am waiting for first period to return in a few weeks before trying again. It may just be that the clear blue test is a false negative as it is such early dpo that levels of HCG will be incredibly low. I can definitely see a line on the test you posted. There is always the sad possibility of this being a chemical pregnancy. It’s a good thing the spotting is short lived. I think at this point I would be repeating the test every 48 hours to give it time to get stronger (I’m not sure I would have the patience to wait that long!). You could always ring your EPAU for advice but I suspect that due to not being overdue for AF yet they would advise wait and see but given your sad MMC earlier in the year they may book you in for an early scan in a few weeks time anyway so may be worth a call on that front xxx
In other news for myself, the private clinic who found my MMC on 8 week scan have apologised profusely for not cancelling the 10 week scan and harmony and then sending me reminders about the appointment. They have refunded my scan cost and booked me a free of charge consultation with their consultant who is a specialist in miscarriage so that’s great 😃

I'm edging on the side of it being an evap... For the first time in my life I've ever had an evap but I've got a feeling it is.

Yes my eldest is 16 just left school prom this week 🤯 so sorry for your struggles I hope you get a great outcome with ivf

@Elen123 huge congrats, such lovely news after a tough struggle to get here, try enjoy all these milestones ❤️🥰🎉 I’m finding sleeping a lot is making the time fly in😅 I’m just so exhausted all the time, even after waking from a 10+ hr sleep

@Kellyaust I absolutely see a shadow of a line there, tentative congrats to u too and 🤞🏽🙏🏽 That it progresses into that darker positive over the next few days.

@Eirlys1986 that’s some good news from the clinic, at least they are taking action on their mistake and fingers crossed it brings some comfort going for the consultation❤️

@Mrsspoon3 that’s good news you and your OH have talked and made a decision on how to move forward, only time will tell if it’s for the best and his intentions are good with u in mind, some extra help/support for you going forward seems to be exactly what u need ❤️

im counting down the days until an early scan and even being on holiday time is dragging a bit 🫣

I probably shouldve waited for my period to return of I'm honest, maybe then I wouldn't be suffering this uncertainty now 🤦‍♀️

Fingers crossed for your next ttc cycle 🤞

@Elen123 congratulations lovely!!! What great news to hear 🥰 I found writing in a journal to be a good way to cope with the anxiety. First pregnancy was during lockdown and we didn't tell anyone until after the 12wk scan - journal was a great way to process my worries but also my excitement etc. I did the same with the pregnancy I recently lost and it's actually comforting now to have that little record of the few weeks I was pregnant again - makes it more real and feels like a way of honouring that little bean for the time it was in this world. And again, it helped me process what was happening and the loss too. I think I would certainly journal again with any rainbow baby that comes along.

@Mrsspoon3 that sounds hopeful. I hope you are able to have some meaningful and healing conversations that put you back on the same page. It can be so hard at times to mesh your life with another human who has their own way of experiencing the world etc. Wishing you all the best going forwards.

@Eirlys1986 that's a great outcome from a really shitty experience. I hope you get something useful out of the consultation. Sending love.

@Kellyaust so sorry for your loss. I'm 37 and had a MMC in April. Trying for no.2 and hoping my rainbow will come along soon. There is definitely a line on that test, and before perusing MN so much o wouldn't have doubted it at all! However so much talk on these threads of evaps etc that it's hard to know now! I think it'll be one of those really frustrating, wait and test again in a few days scenarios. Everything crossed for you!

My LH is finally going up! Got a high reading this morning. Hoping for a peak this evening or tomorrow 🤞🏻

@Mrsspoon3 I remember reading your posts at Glastonbury but not having time to reply. I really hope counselling is helpful, it seems you've been through such a lot and you've really been the one holding things down! Fingers crossed your husband realises what you've been through and offers more support. You are so impressive, a real superwoman!! Xx

This is such a positive outcome! Hopefully it'll stop the same thing happening again and they put more processes in place. ❤️

@Kellyaust Sorry to hear about your loss 😔 I'm also 38 with a two year old.

Hard to tell with that line, hopefully it'll be a bit darker tomorrow or the next day - it's still quite early so plenty of time for progression 😊❤️

@Elen123 that's fantastic news! Congratulations. I don't have any advice as I'm full of what ifs but I do echo TT82 in trying to find something to take your mind off things, I started crocheting when I was off with SPD so ended up with way too many blankets.

@H0pefull so sorry to hear you're finding it hard and being told your young doesn't exactly help does it, it's not as if that will be a magic wand for you. Have you been offered any tests at all to see if there's a reason behind not getting pregnant? No idea how long you have to have been trying. Are you using any ovulation tests to help?

@leopard so glad you had a great time, did you see Foo Fighters? Was so surprised seeing them turn up.

@Mrsspoon3 that's great news and definitely sounds like something like Relate would help. I'd not broach the subject of TTC yet, it sounds like you need to work through some other things first without adding extra pressure. Hope you work things out.

@Kellyaust sorry to hear you've gone through a mmc too, sadly you're far from alone in this group but we're all very supportive. Difficult to know from that line and if you've not yet had a period it will be hard to work out dates from anything. Definitely test again another morning.

@Eirlys1986 that's great they've refunded you and got you in with a specialist, hopefully reassures you for future visits.

My news- I've actually hit a peak today! Honestly stunned as really wasn't sure if I would this cycle or not straight after a chemical so pleased we have a chance to try.

@RoseH36 thank you for replying. When I had my MC all I was told from everyone around me was “well at least you weren’t further along” and “at least you know you can get pregnant” just the opposite of what you want to hear.
have been trying for a year using ovulation tests, I have had a scan to check all looks ok and the consultant told me everything looks fine and no reason why I shouldn’t be getting pregnant, but he will refer me for some more detailed tests if no luck in another 6 months x

@SnookyPook just seen your LH is going up, looks like we'll be in the TWW together 🤞the journal idea sounds lovely, I think I'll give that a go next time, its just nice to get things off your mind sometimes too.

@H0pefull those are awful things to say 😪 yes it's good you know you can get pregnant but that doesn't make things any easier and definitely isn't what you need to hear. When I had my mmc we'd started telling family as we would have been around 10 weeks at that point (mmc at 11 weeks and discovered baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks). It felt so hard having to then tell everyone the devastating news.

This time round we agreed to only tell parents and told them as soon as we found out we were expecting. I'm glad we did as we then had their support but devastatingly the mc was only 10 days after finding out (I'd have been around 5 weeks). Didn't even get chance to tell OH dad, only his mum so that was one less person who we had to tell at least.

I'd probably do the same again next time round as I wanted support but just not loads of people offering sympathy as I found that too much.

@RoseH36 lovely to see you back here and great that you've hit a peak today! It's so reassuring after a loss when things seem to be working ok! Will be great to share the tww with you too! 🤞🏻 for our 🌈 babies...

@H0pefull gosh people can be so bloomin' insensitive. Not what you need. Are you ok with waiting another 6 months potentially for further tests? Seems a bit of a fob off..?

@SnookyPook I agree feel totally fobbed off, after already a year of unsuccessful trying I’m unsure why another 6 months will make a difference :(
trying to push for more tests sooner, and will carry on trying in the meantime. Had my peak today so we will see what this month brings 🤞🏻

@SnookyPook thank you and definitely good to know things are hopefully getting back to normal. @H0pefull sounds like you could be joining our TWW too. I do agree that it sounds like fobbing you off, a year is such a long time to have been trying already. Definitely worth asking again about further tests.

Thanks everyone, I'm still feeling sore inside (only way i can explain it) and now I'm getting a yellow colour discharge.... No smell or anything. Keep thinking af has arrive but nope. Anyone experienced yellow cm before?

Baby dust to you all ❤️🤞

Thanks for your reply @RoseH36 . I felt I was being unreasonable by wanting to push for tests sooner but I feel reassured now.
at least we are in this TWW together!
lots of luck & love to you, looking forward to hearing how you both get on xx

@Kellyaust I've not but that's not to say its not normal. Have you spoken to EPAU to see what they say?

@H0pefull it's worth it especially as they've said there's no obvious reason why it's not happening for you. Lots of luck to you too xx

@RoseH36 no they discharged me over a week ago just before ovulation after my course of antibiotics and a scan and bloods confirmed all was good to go... If it carries on with no af and continues bfn then I'll give them a call to see what I should do

@H0pefull yes I'd definitely push for more tests too. I thought they were supposed to start investigations if you hadn't conceived in a year (or more than 6 months for over 35s) so you're not being too fussy! Glad to be in the tww with you - luck and love to you too!

Question, what are people's DTD patterns after a peak opk? I know ovulation is likely to be 12-36hrs after a peak so I guess the next two days as well? I've always been a bit more casual about it before but just wondering!

@Kellyaust not experienced that personally. I feel like I've heard people saying it could be to do with conceiving vitamins etc..? Have you taken anything different? But definitely not a daft thing to ask about.

@SnookyPook I've been taking pre conception vitamins for the past 6 weeks yeah but nothing too different to previously so no idea at all 😕

Hi everyone 👋, I’ve had a big old catch up read of all the activity today! Love reading all your wisdom and well wishes always 😊
@DmcinT @LeopardLover @SnookyPook @RoseH36 - thanks all for your best wishes for the upcoming miscarriage clinic appointment next Wednesday. I feel slightly fraudulent to be getting it after one miscarriage just because it’s private and just because they made a mistake and willing to consult for free to make up for it! I feel like everyone deserves to have that input and reassurance and telling people they have to go through more miscarriages or time TTC just feels so unfair to me, even in my role as a GP seeing things from both sides.
@SnookyPook the journaling is a great idea. I think I might do that a bit tonight whilst OH is out to process some feelings about the miscarriage 👍🏻 thank you
@Kellyaust good luck for this cycle, re: you feeling like you should’ve waited longer before ttc post MMC. Hindsight is a great thing and I certainly appreciate now myself that such strong urge to try again, it’s very hard to fight once that feeling is in you!
@Mrsspoon3 I’m glad things have started to hopefully move in a good direction for you and your husband, so many marriages face such problems and the thing that makes them work long term is working at things like you plan to do with relate. I hope you can broach the TTC with him, maybe at a relate session. You never know, it may bring up some hidden stress or worry he has had about TTC that may explain some of his recent behaviour.
@Elen123 I second @LeopardLover thoughts about waiting till 8 weeks for private scan, it’s what we did and obviously it was a sad outcome but at least as they know there should definitely be a heartbeat by then there was no horrible uncertainty for me and having to come back for more scans a week later to see if things progressed or not. I hope so badly for you that whenever you plan to have a scan it shows that all is well and healthy as it most likely will!
@H0pefull im so sorry to hear about your problems TTC post miscarriage, it is devastating regardless of your age and I agree you should definitely advocate for yourself and push for some earlier investigations if possible. If you feel like you might get steam rollered by a consultant/Gp when speaking to them I always feel like a letter outlining your disappointment and expectations/hopes is great as then it has to go on record and they have to respond to you which will also go on your records so it kind of holds them more accountable for their response 👍🏻 .
And that’s my giant essay over! Xxx

Thank you for your reply @Eirlys1986 a letter is a great idea! I’m going to see how this month goes (now starting the TWW) and then get onto a letter if we are unsuccessful again. I find I get quite flustered especially if they begin to dismiss me so writing it all down would really help, thanks again xxx

@H0pefull you’re welcome! So much good luck for this TWW now 🤞 xxx