2023 TTC 35+ Part 3

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread!!!

The other one filled in so quickly. I'm happy that many of you are finding this space supportive and helpful.

@FiddleLeaf good luck with your IVF, I’m glad it now feels like things are moving in a hopeful positive direction for you 🍀 🦄. I have all my things crossed that can cross for you! X

Thanks so much @Eirlys1986, @FiddleLeaf and @Muriel84 💗 Finding it all really hard. So many things about it are so awful obviously, but it’s really hard to be trying to get pregnant and then that just to be taken away and to try and get my head round the fact that’s that door closed forever.

Glad to hear it’s all going so well @FiddleLeaf and you're feeling optimistic!

@Mrsspoon3 that is so hard I’m so sorry. Particularly unfair of the universe when a break up at our age just doesn’t have the same implications for men. I hope things settle down and you’re having lots of cuddles with your LO xxx

@Mrsspoon3 I'm so so sorry. You've both been through such a very stressful time of it recently also with your toddler operation and dog being injured. Do you think that's definitely it? Sending love, I'm so sorry for you both xx

@Mrsspoon3 was so sad to read your messages yesterday 😔 no words, you need more support, not this! Just remember whatever is happening is for better...even if it looks or feels terribly difficult and bad ❤️

@Mrsspoon3 I'm so sorry to hear your news, you've really had a very tough time of it lately. I can't imagine what you're going through, sending you hugs x

@FiddleLeaf that's great news you've started IVF, here's hoping you're successful very soon.

@Mrsspoon3 oh gosh that is a lot to cope with…. Hope you have friends / family around that can support you. Take care x

@Mrsspoon3 so very sorry to hear your news. Hope you're doing ok. That's a lot to have to process isn't it. Hope you have some good support around you. Lots of love x

@Mrsspoon3 I'm so sorry, I hope you have support amongst family and friends and you guys can find a way to chat things through a bit more calmly.

@FiddleLeaf congratulations on starting IVF. Really hope this step goes well for you and you see promising results soon xx

@Mrsspoon3 Im so sorry. You’ve been given far too much on your plate late than you’ve needed recently and this definitely falls into that category. If this truly is it, then I wish you all the strength going forward and that you’re soon able to find all the freedoms and possibilities for your new life. Really hope that you’ve got people around who can love and support you.

If, given the huge stress you guys have been under recently turns out to be a turning point/ epic bump in the road then I send you again so much strength, patience and hope that you both receive all the support and love you need.

@FiddleLeaf that is really exciting news. If you’re happy to, we’d love to hear how it all goes. Sending you lots of love and baby dust!! 😁

My boobs are so tender it’s unreal. This is not usual for me. Huge fat BFN on a first response yesterday at CD 32. On the plus side I am out of pregnancy tests! Can humans have hysterical pregnancies?? 🤣

Thanks so so much to everyone for all the lovely messages and support, I really appreciate it so much! This really is the loveliest group of ladies and it’s so nice to have all your support with this.

We sent lots of long messages yesterday (me and my toddler stayed at my mum’s) and he was adamant he wanted to separate and said he wasn’t happy, but today he has has said he’d like to talk, so will see how that goes.
Its been a really rocky time since our toddler was born as he doesn’t help out enough and goes away a lot at weekends and out for nights out with friends, so Im
left by myself a lot. My little boy has been really hard work (though adorable and amazing!) as he’s had health problems since he was born and is also just generally quite high needs, and I take him out the house a lot as he does better outside at groups and things. But my husband (who worked from home before) has now got a job outside of the home and the dog has started pooing and weeing in the house if he’s left alone for even 2 hours, so I feel like I can’t go anywhere and have any freedom when Im
off with my little boy, which has made me feel really resentful towards the dog, who my husband absolutely adores. That was where our argument started yesterday as my husband is going away for the weekend next weekend and leaving me with both dog and baby. Anyway, sorry that was so long!!!

@Bumblebee413 how long are your cycles normally? Hopefully the sore boobs are a good sign!!

Gosh @Mrsspoon3 , you’re carrying so much on your shoulders. His flip flopping must be really upsetting. I think you’d benefit from a session with Relate or similar. I’ve had really positive experiences with them in the past and just having a third party present forces even the most childish of men to behave.

Thanks for the well wishes re:IVF. I’d love to keep you updated 🙂Scan number two tomorrow to check the follicles (I had 17 in each over at last count) are growing. I started the ovulation suppressant yesterday & feeling a bit emotional today. Hopefully next week we’ll have egg retrieval then it all gets a bit scarier!

@FiddleLeaf gosh this is all so exciting!(but scary too I imagine). You can do this! 💪 xxx
@Mrsspoon3 I hope your discussions with husband go as well as they can today, I echo what others have said, you are carrying so much and if you do decide you want to stay together moving forwards some sessions with relate or similar will be helpful. I had some counselling sessions after my dad passed away and it did come up in those that I wasn’t communicating or prioritising my needs enough (I’m not saying this is you but you certainly sound like someone who will have little time for yourself whilst meeting everyone else’s needs) and this was leading to feelings of injustice/resentment in me. It’s very hard as there are so many fantastic fathers out there (my OH included) but I think as women we do default to shouldering too much and basically knackering ourselves out in the process as a societal norm. I do hope that either your OH can be brought around to seeing just how much you have shouldered and that he needs to step up and take the load equally or if he cannot see this that you can move forwards stronger and enjoy many other things for yourself in the future xx

I love how much wisdom I’m picking up from this thread. Wise ladies.

@Mrsspoon3 that’s a really heavy load you’ve been carrying there with far less support than you should be getting from a good team mate. I get what you’re saying with the dog too. It’s not a question of loving them, it’s just the extra stress they’re adding to an already hefty juggle when it feels like it doesn’t need to be the case. You’re doing amazingly.

So exciting @FiddleLeaf , really hope you get some good eggs!

I really think I’m out this cycle unfortunately. Just crazy boobs. Super PMS symptoms just in time for a 6 day visit from my MIL. Who is incredible and rather unfortunately gets the brunt of my hormones every single time bless her 😓

@FiddleLeaf how exciting! Hope all goes really well for you! Not an expert by any means but 17 ripening follicles sounds really good..? Definitely keep us posted! 😊

@Mrsspoon3 I really hope that the talks with your DH go well and that you can both get to a better place. As the others have said, a bit of external help to get to the nitty gritty issues might be good if you can manage that! Anyway, it seems all is not lost yet, so sending lots of positive vibes your way.

Still no peak on my opks yet - premom predicted ovulation 3 days ago, although I suspect based off my slightly shorter cycle last month which I think was a bit off after my loss... CD16 now so getting impatient! Although the month I conceived my DS I think I ovulated CD19 so certainly not something to get too worried about.

@SnookyPook hope your peak arrives soon for you. I'm usually between CD17-19 for mine. I also used Proov ovulation confirmation tests this month which helped reassure me I'd ovulated and that my progesterone levels were ok.

@Bumblebee413 fingers crossed for you!

@FiddleLeaf that's a massive step a s hope this next bit of your journey goes really well for you!

@Mrsspoon3 hope you're doing ok?

@LeopardLover how was Glasto?!! Was sooo jealous this weekend watching it on telly. My partner and I have been seperately a long time ago before we knew eachother but never managed to get tickets together! Hope you had the best time!

A very nervous update from me is... I have some good news to share in that I got my first ever BFP!!! I waited to share as I've been a bit all over the place with family stuff and lots of us are/have been going through such a tough time on here recently and really don't want to cause any further upset.

Its massive news for us as I had an endometriosis operation over 10years ago which after care didn't go well for me and there were post op complications etc... I was told 'it was much worse than they planned and was unlikely to conceive naturally' and have a vague memory of being shown some awful images and clips of what was found on coming around but not understanding what it all meant other than it was bad. At the time I didn't want children and didn't think i would due to family and past relationship challenges so follow up was minimal and focused on pain management. However since then life's changed and I've met my OH. After a long time of bbt and let's just see. Then 6 months of 'trying' trying im in shock and so so happy that this has actually happened for us.

I'm reaching out as I'm at that stage others have described of yoyo-ing between extreme happiness, to fear and sadness that this little dude or dudette (that I'm so desperate for) won't stick around and all the what ifs that go with that.

Off on holiday next week which I hope will help and I have my first midwife appointment a week and a bit after we get back.

If any of you feel in a place where you can share any gems on staying calm and keeping positive thoughts, tips on prep for the first appointment / what they do (apparently I need to select a hospital for future care and don't even know where to start with that), or what to look for in choosing a private scan, having never got to this before would be amazing.

@Elen123 congratulations that's lovely news!! Do you know how far along you are?

Huge congratulations @Elen123 and thank you for sharing your story. Such wonderful news for you both. Sending love and calm xxx

@Elen123 fantastic news !!! Others will have more up to date knowledge of systems around booking in etc but main thing is to look after yourself and try and stay positive. Xx

@Elen123 🥰 so happy to read good news here!!! Try to occupy yourself with something what keeps your worries and thoughts away - I did lego! 😆 I have this big coliseum to put together. Or I do gardening...a, and crocheting, all my family with big nice handmade blankets...they have no clue why 😅🙈

Hi Everyone,

I posted last month but under a diff username as I forgot my password, I posted a pic of what I thought was implantation bleeding however unfortunately it wasn’t. I had a MC last June and since then have been unsuccessful in TTC. I really thought last month was it and feeling really deflated.
Has anyone else struggled after a MC to get pregnant again? I’m only 25, and keep being told “I’m young yet” which is so frustrating.

sorry if this isn’t ok to post, but feeling so deflated and down. xx

@Elen123 Eeeek! Congratulations! Soooo pleased for you 😁 such wonderful news. A holiday sounds like perfect timing for you 😍 Glastonbury was great, thanks! Although we missed our toddler terribly and it was very hot. I didn't drink! But I did eat a lot of bad food 🤣

The first appointment is usually just to discuss any family health issues and to make sure you're safe / aren't a victim of any domestic abuse etc. You do need to pick a hospital but you can always change it if you decide to go elsewhere, it isn't set in stone 😊 some surgeries combine the first and second appointments, so you might also be weighed and have your bloods taken - but that wasn't the case for me!

I'd wait until after 8 weeks for your private scan so there's a bigger chance you'll see a heartbeat ❤️ congratulations again x

Thanks so much for the lovely messages @FiddleLeaf @Eirlys1986 @Bumblebee413 @SnookyPook @Elen123
Im so appreciative of all the wisdom and support on here!
My husband and I had a chat and I came back from my mum’s yesterday. We’ve decided to give things another go, which is good, but I find it hard to know he had fully decided to end our marriage for a while, and not even in the heat of an argument but later when he’d had time to reflect. Also his reasons for giving it another go seemed to be for the benefit of our toddler, rather than because he wanted to be with me!! Not sure how it will affect us trying for another baby either. I haven’t broached that yet. I think contacting relate for some couples counselling as a few of you suggested would be a good idea.

Massive massive congratulations @Elen123! That must feel amazing after being told you’d be unlikely to conceive naturally! I can understand you feeling nervous. I felt exactly the same for ages in my pregnancy. I like the suggestions from @TT82 😊 I used to do cross stitch a lot when I was worried as with having to do all the counting and concentrating on that I found my mind couldn’t wander. I hope you find something that will take your mind off things! We’re always here to chat to too any time you feel anxious!

Hi, I hope its OK to jump on this thread I've only just come across it.

Background... I have 3 children (2 teens) and one 2 year old... I am now 38 yrs old.. I fell pregnant again in March this year at 37 but unfortunately suffered and MMC just before my 38th bday in may... Absolutely devasted me 😪 any way it was quite drawn out and I had medical managemebt for retained tissue and didn't stop bleeding until 6th june! All tests were negative from end of May.

I ovulated first time on 18th June and DTD only once on 16th June so wasn't hopefully for this cycle. But since 3dpo I've had horrendous symptoms such as... Cramping, back pain, dizziness, heart palpations, sweating and insomnia... Anyway yesterday cramping was quite bad and after I'd been to the loo I had a small amount of blood on tissue... So did an frer... Pic is attached.

I've had absolutely no bleeding since... Cervix is still mega high and cm very very wet sorry tmi... And still cramping but did a clear blue early with fmu today and stark negative.

Sorry for the long post but I feel like I'm losing the plot can anybody offer any advice.... I'd be 9dpo today.

Praying for you all 🤞