2023 TTC 35+ Part 2

[VixFromThe6ix]

Hi ladies,
This is a new thread as we maxed the other one. I tagged everyone that posted in the last 12 pages. If I'm missing someone, please tag them in the comments.
@Eirlys1986
@Muriel84
@Un7breakable
@vitahelp
@Mirla
@TheFanciestPants
@Mummyme87
@FiddleLeaf
@Anna531
@Poppy708
@Golaz
@LeopardLover
@Floralsandsmiles
@Bumblebee413
@TrudyProud
@13Bastards
@DinkyGT
@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7
@TTCnumberfour
@Cirque1
@39starstartry
@Freya8
@Angelsrose
@TheBirdintheCave
@AgeGapBbe
@BengalMama
@BB2023

@TheBirdintheCave I'm so sorry, keep checking in with us here if it helps and we will support you.

@Muriel84 Good luck with stopping BF, if you need any help I'm here. I BF for 18 months and stopped quite abruptly (after a biting incident!!) and actually found it went really smoothly. I hope you find the same.

Quick update on me, AF arrived yesterday afternoon. That's my 13th cycle failed. Losing hope quickly.
On a brighter note DH sperm analysis came back and looks really good. My blood tests were also very good so I've no idea why this isn't working for us.
My hospital apt has been brought forward now from September to late May which is good news. I have a feeling something might come up in the scan (blocked tubes or similar). As bad as it sounds I hope something is found (something not sinister/serious that is) then there is a problem to be solved and there might actually be some hope of it happening.

@TheBirdintheCave im so sorry to hear your journey has been that tough. Really hope this ivf cycle brings you what you want 🍀❤️

Thanks everyone :) It's been a bit of a shit morning. I was really hoping we'd get a miracle like we did in 2020 with my son. I'm so grateful to have him but I'd so love to have a sibling for him to complete our imagined family picture. Really not expecting the IVF to work though. Even if I managed to get pregnant I'd be on edge til after nine weeks as that's when I lost the other two.

@vitahelp thank you so much, that’s really kind of you. This group is so supportive. I’m not surprised you stopped after that! We’ve had a few nibbly episodes but never a full on bite. Have you been referred for investigations via the nhs despite having a child already? Just wondering how it works. That’s great your appointments been brought forward and I bet your OH is feeling proud of his sperm! Also is you luteal phase short? I recall we ovulated around the same time. I’ve been spotting since 10dpo which seems to just be evolving into my period now which is due tomorrow. Xx

@Muriel84 Haha it was a bit traumatic, she fell asleep and clamped down with her teeth and drew blood, she didn't even wake up while it all went on! I would still BF again though so hasn't put me off!
Yes we were still referred for investigation despite already having a child, but it can only go as far as the investigation stage (blood tests/sperm tests/pelvic scan). If nothing comes back from any of those and we want to go for IVF we will have to go private. We have already decided we wont do IVF though. How many months have you been trying for? At 35+ you can go at the 6 month mark for the tests.
My Luteal phase is 12-13 days which I think might be about average. I ovulated quite early this month at CD13 (usually CD15) so I've ended up with a short cycle of 25 days! I'm sorry your period is coming, so frustrating at this stage isn't it.

@TheBirdintheCave oh I'm sorry love. We are here to cheer you on your IVF journey. I know it's not what you hoped for but it works for many and I hope it will work for you too.

@TheBirdintheCave I’m so sorry. Hoping that ivf brings you your littlest one.

@vitahelp … ouch! That would definitely have stopped me too- I don’t know how she stayed asleep!

@Muriel84 you’re doing an amazing job. Hope that you were well supported at work xxx

Is it 35 for 6 months trying or 36? The NHS website seems to say 36.

Also does the 2 years before IVF requirement change once you're over 35?

Sending lots of love & hugs. Best of luck for your IVF journey. We're all behind you x

@Un7breakable here’s the referral guidance for our local fertility services. It may potentially differ on area but I doubt it will vary much.

Do not refer for fertility treatment before 1yr UNLESS: age ≥ 35yr OR known to have: PCOS OR fibroids OR endometriosis OR previous ectopic pregnancy OR previous pelvic surgery OR PID, infrequent/absent periods, anovulatory progesterone concentrations, endocrine problems, semen abnormalities.

Treatment CriteriaPlease refer all couples irrespective of the female’s age as the initial investigations can be done on the NHS.
They would then be offered an initial consultation and investigations only.
Those who are not eligible for NHS funding can make an informed decision if they wish to continue their treatment on a self-funded basis or privately.
If they do not wish to pay and not eligible for NHS funding they will be discharged back to GP care.

• Local Criteria for NHS funded IUI, IVF, ICSI TreatmentStable relationship for 2 yrs
• Female aged 23-39
• Female BMI 19-30 kg/m2
• Non smokers (both partners)
• No children under the age of 16 from either partner living with the couple (including adopted)
• No previous sterilisation in either partner
• No previously funded IVF/ICSI treatment
• No child welfare issues

Hope this is vaguely helpful

⬆️ so it seems to indicate referring after less than one year of trying is “allowed” at less than 1 year of trying if any medical conditions present or age is equal to or over 35. Personally, I would generally say once 35 if trying for 6 months I would at least start the pre referral testing in general practice to get the referral process rolling

@vitahelp do you know what sort of scan you’re having? So we’ve just been trying two cycles. The first wasn’t really a try, the second we SMEPed. I had two early losses before my son and have higher risk of miscarriage so just feel like we need to crack on and get pregnant cos reduced chance of it sticking. I’m not sure what this spotting I’m experiencing means for my literal phase. AF hasn’t started today so I assume will be here tomorrow! Cycles have been very regular when I’ve been paying attention, 28 days with ovulation day 14.

Having found myself a protein shaker bottle and then traipsed to a boots that said they had proceieve in stock they couldn’t find it and now Amazon can’t deliver for ages! Xx

@Eirlys1986 Thank you so much. That is very reassuring. It's stopped the spiral.i was having tonight

Going to try to push for a gyne referral this week when I speak to my doctor, and then once we get to 6 months see about fertility.

@Un7breakable im glad it’s been helpful and stopped a spiral. I don’t know what your local situation will be but gynae referrals locally here are awful tbh, giving people appointments for 2024 at present even for fairly significant problems so a lot of patients are having to consider a one off private appointment to just get seen within a reasonable time frame. I know that is not always possible for everyone but just thought I’d mention it so it doesn’t come as a potential disappointment after referral. It may be totally different in your area though

@Eirlys1986 thanks. I think in our area there's not much of a waitlist so will see. My GP said at the first appointment that they often don't find a cause for spotting and heavy bleeding which makes me worried I'll have to push. luckily we do have private insurance just need to check it will cover something that started before the cover (not sure).

@TheBirdintheCave I'm so sorry. Really hoping the ivf is a quick journey for you. Sending hugs.

@Muriel84 seconding what @vitahelp said, the ending of breastfeeding was very easy on my baby. And I went mostly cold turkey from 12+ feeds a day to just cows milk. It was harder on me tbh, he was fine with it after about a day. Just mentioning in case you were dreading it like I was

Is anyone trying ubiquinol? Last time I did the It Starts With The Egg vitamin and lifestyle plan, and took masses of stuff! I did just get some ubiquinol and take it for the last month but it is expensive!

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 I'm taking 100mg of it but really cutting back on other supplements, just Folic Acid, Vit D and Omega 3

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 thanks hun. I’m still in two minds about whether it’s making a difference. AF arrived at 3:30am and hit me with some of the worse cramps I’ve had since I was a teen. So cycles are very regular apart from stupid light spotting. I find feeding very uncomfortable during my period so we just had one short feed at bedtime last night then he went straight into thirty mins of bedtime acrobatics 🤦‍♀️

fairly sure ubiquinol is in proceieve which I’m struggling to get hold of the max one. Might just buy the one for women under 35 for this month. I’ve not taken it before and know nothing about it.

when do people start the dreaded grapefruit juice?

Ive just realised I have a night shift during my FW this time 🙄🙄 x

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 I take ubiquinol, actually have been for years, long before TTC. It's one supplement where I feel like I can actually tell the difference from, so when I read it affects egg quality I was very happy to make sure I was being consistent with it. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and it really helps my energy levels. So I figure if it is doing even half that for my reproductive system too then that's worth the effort!
I actually have been intending to take 200mg per day but spaced out, but I keep forgetting the second one.

AF has arrived, so unfortunately I’m out for the duration. Still, it would have been a bit flashy to strike it lucky first time. Still going to hang around and cheer you guys on for a few months if that’s alright? Feeling fairly ok about it at present. Going to try and focus on losing some weight, as I can control that.

The more time passes the more deflated I feel. I’d tried to convince myself I wasn’t because I didn’t feel it and so I didn’t get my hopes up. But they may have been a little up.

@Bumblebee413 I'm really sorry, it's a horrible feeling. I think our hopes are always a little up when we're trying. I think we all probably felt the same.

@Mirla oh that's so interesting! I thought I felt better last time but didn't know if it was all in my head. I'll persevere with that one then and order some more

Annnnnnnd my next door neighbour is pregnant, of course she is! Would have been lovely to have our little ones together 😕

@Bumblebee413 I’m sorry. It’s so rubbish. I hope your little one can give you a cuddle and distract you. And please do stick around! X x