2023 TTC 35+

[VixFromThe6ix]

Hi everyone!!
Wanted to start another group thread for those TTC that are 35+.
When I was first trying, this group helped me a lot. We bonded and went through pains and celebrations together. I had two MCs over 2yrs of trying and lots of crying as I was typing many of my posts. Support helped... Especially at this age.
I had my first baby Jan 2022 and here we are now trying for baby #2.
I'll be 40 this summer!!!
Join me and share your story ☺️

as of last week I stopped with high carbs and sugars. I must be emotional eating because I gained 15lbs in a few months, on top of already having 20extrw lbs on me post baby. I haven't started exercising yet but I hope to start doing something soon. I'm not a fan of exercise, tbh,but I don't want to be unhealthy in case I end up pregnant at some point this year. Let's see how it goes.... Right now I'm craving chocolate like a drug. Ugh.

I heard back from fertility clinic I used to co sult with and they requested intake some blood tests and full bladder ultrasound. One test that I have never taken before is AMH blood test. Had anyone taken it?? This one I'm nervous for.... It must be due to my age being almost 40.

@FiddleLeaf mine's late now too. Quite upsetting when you're still getting the BFNs. It's been a stressful month here too but I've not had late periods before so I'm really quite unsettled. Something just feels off, somehow. Not getting any of the usual signs AF is going to be along soon. So obviously I'm wondering if this is it, it's too late for me to start a family. Well aware that's an overreaction but it still sucks. Hope you get resolution soon!

@Mirla it's hard not to think like that, but the odds are still in your favour. Weird cycles happen for little to no reason so please don't lose heart.
@VixFromThe6ix I have had my AMH taken and am 35. Apparently different labs can get very different results. One friend had hers double! My consultant just said as long as it's not VERY high or low all should be fine.
Sorry for those who have had BFNs it really is soul destroying.
A relative of my husband's had her baby a couple of weeks ago and in an unfortunate twist of fate took the very unusual baby girl's name we had decided on 4 years ago. To add insult to injury, she has spelt it in a "unique" way which will mean the poor child will spend her life having to spell out an otherwise an easy name to spell...
A real sucker punch, but we will keep on trucking.

I’ve signed up for a digital course for fertility. It’s by a woman whose company is called Conceivable. I saw her on TikTok months ago but eventually decided to go for it. We will see what it says

BFN today. Sad to see there's a few of us. Anyone had any experience with hertility?

Hi everyone, so sorry to hear so many of you have had stressful months, BFN and all the sad feelings that come along with those. I’m on CD 3 and hoping to “try properly” this month with smep(or as close as me and partner can manage with toddler exhaustion), my OPK and good old proceive max. I do worry about impact BF and also general family stress at home (elderly mother continues to live with us after breaking arm/vertebrae) will have on things but just got to make the best of what life throws!xxxx

So fed up, still not tested but I’ve felt rough all week (stupidly got my hopes up that it might be an good sign) but just done a covid test and I’ve got it again. I know that doesn’t mean I’m not pregnant but it’s unlikely isn’t it, and all the “symptoms” were probably just that. Plus my body hasn’t been able to get pregnant while I e been feeling well, so what are the chances it would happen with covid..

I can’t TTC next month as I’m away with work during the fertile window so that’s another month gone, I’m already 12 cycles in. Just can’t see it happening, feel like giving up now and just getting on with normal life.

@TheFanciestPants oh that's a bummer, I'm sorry to hear!! We had a couple of the names we liked taken in the time we were trying. hope you find another name that will be perfect for your baby ❤️

@Mummyme87 good for you! What is she talking about in her course?

@Un7breakable sorry about your bfn. Does sound like a bad cycle for most of us. I had no experience with hertility, sorry

@Eirlys1986 cd1 here. Best of luck to you this cycle!! I'm also still BF. About 2-3 times...but I feel like I maybe have a teaspoon of milk left. He just won't go down for a nap without it. I felt the pressure to cut back, even though my period returned since he was 6 months. :(

@vitahelp ah jeez I'm so sorry about you getting covid again. :( Hope you take care and feel better soon. When are you going to test? You can still be in!! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@vitahelp so sorry to hear about the covid infection and how horrid all of this is making you feel. I know it may not be helpful when all these negative thoughts are understandably flying around now for you but I hope within a week or two you will be feeling more positive about the future. I think there’s a lot to be said for just sitting with the crappy feelings for now and accepting them for what they are, I’m hoping for a brighter day soon for you x

@VixFromThe6ix im also thinking if no luck getting pregnant within next 3 months I’ll cut back as a starting point. We still sometimes feed upto a couple of times overnight to help with sleep so it will be tough

@vitahelp sorry to hear that vitahelp. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

@Un7breakable my friend used Hertility to do her AMH. She seemed happy enough with the service

@VixFromThe6ix I know, that’s the mad thing as I’m no less likely to be pregnant but I think feeling rough just got my hopes up and now I know it was just covid it seems pointless even testing. I’ll be working from home tomorrow so could send DH out for a test but might try and wait out most of the day as there’s a possibility AF might show tomorrow, although not technically due until Friday.

@Eirlys1986 Thank you 😊 you’re right, I tend to bounce back quite quick from the failed cycle disappointment so no doubt in a week I’ll feel like me again. And that’s so true that sitting with the bad feelings is a lot more helpful than pretending to be fine - which for me usually leads to more anxiety.

@Un7breakable I’m 36. I had my daughter at 31 and got pregnant straight away then, so this has been a shock. I do feel so lucky to already have her, but it’s hard letting go of having a second one, it’s how I always imagined it.

@Eirlys1986 @VixFromThe6ix i think I’m going to stop… he is 26 months I guess it had to happen sometime. I’m just spotting again from 10dpo. Only very light this time and a day or two later. Why did this never happen before ttc?! Kicking myself for going on the mini pill for 5 months cos my periods were heavy in case that caused it (tho didn’t happen the cycle before we started ttc…). Went down a horrid google rabbit hole last night looking up fertility and spotting in late literal phase 😭 filled with doom. we SMEPed last month apart from the very last one. Xx

@Muriel84 sorry you’ve been down the Google rabbit hole. I find it is always disconcerting when I do that too! I think if you’re feeling like it’s the correct decision for you to stop BF now and that you aren’t wanting to tandem nurse when you have a second baby then stopping now is the best decision for you 👍🏻

@Muriel84 are you on the 7dpo spotting thread? Several of us in the same boat.

@Un7breakable i have been following it but haven’t posted! Maybe I will, thanks.

@Eirlys1986 yeah I don’t really want to stop BF so feel quite torn. So will just keep posting my procrastinating on here 😂 google can really spur on a good doom spiral. x

@Muriel84 how about a compromise of a gradual dropping of a feed every 1-2 weeks starting with the one you think will be least challenging/emotional to drop? You may find if it is impacting luteal phase that just cutting it down will lengthen the phase and then you won’t have to stop completely potentially?

@Eirlys1986 i just feed him once a day at bedtime now. I miss the occasional feed for a day or two if im at work but other than that it’s fairly consistent. He was surprisingly chilled about cutting down tho I guess it was gradual. I gave up the morning feed a while ago, before Christmas I think. My periods came back at 5 months and became regular after a few months despite him feeding a billion times a day/night back then. It is such a nice way to reconnect. Never thought I’d feed this long! X

@Muriel84 neither did I and here I am at 18 months and considering tandem nursing 😂. I think tbh if you are lucky enough to have a relatively “easy” BF journey it often results in longer feeding or if you have a stubborn little git like my son it’s an instant “cheat” to sort out the tantrums and sleep

I'm sure AF will show up at the most inconvenient moment possible (presumably the day I have a lot of travel and then see my partner for the first time in weeks, right?), but I've been wondering what happens if it doesn't? Specifically, if you skip a period completely rather than it being late, when do you start ovulation tests again? Should you aim for what would have been your start day if AF had been normal?

@TheFanciestPants thanks, you're right, I know in theory a bit of variation is really just a thing that happens! Just hard to not catastrophise In the moment.

@vitahelp Sorry to hear about the covid! Wishing you a swift recovery.

@Un7breakable I found Hertility a little while back and decided I'll try their tests soon probably. Just waiting on some results from the NHS first so will see what they say before making the decision. Just seems like it might be faster to pay privately for the Hertility consultation than to wait on referrals with NHS.

@Eirlys1986 aww good for you I’m always in awe of the mamas tandem feeding on the BF Facebook group. I just don’t think I could cope! I had quite a tough BF journey with late diagnosed really quite bad tongue tie. Oh the relief when that was snipped. But we got there. I love how chilled it is now tho I do find it uncomfortable at points in my cycle. I fed him to sleep all night long for the first year to preserve my sanity. Makes me feel a tad emosh thinking back over it! I’m so exhausted today. X

@Muriel84 yeh we got my sons tongue tie cut very early, I always wondered if he actually needed it doing or not but given my relatively plain sailing BF journey I imagine it was the correct decision. I’m my lord I also spent untold hours of my life overnight with him attached to my boobs because he had colic. Think it’s made him even more attached to night feeds than he otherwise would’ve been as our “colicky time” was basically 24/7 but from 9pm onwards to 4am was hell on a stick