2023 TTC 35+

[VixFromThe6ix]

Hi everyone!!
Wanted to start another group thread for those TTC that are 35+.
When I was first trying, this group helped me a lot. We bonded and went through pains and celebrations together. I had two MCs over 2yrs of trying and lots of crying as I was typing many of my posts. Support helped... Especially at this age.
I had my first baby Jan 2022 and here we are now trying for baby #2.
I'll be 40 this summer!!!
Join me and share your story ☺️

Hi @Mirla I'm in the same boat. Fingers crossed AF stays away for you. It maybe is pointless continuing to test but it helps me settle myself for the day otherwise I just wonder anyway. Did an IC this evening, BFN. So do what's best for you 😊 it wasn't the answer I wanted but it drove me crazy all day at work so now I can park it until tomorrow and DP knows tomorrow AFs due so tonight I'll manage his excitement a little, saying I don't think this is the one x
Good luck!!

@Anna531 It really does nag at you! I can see a point to just getting it over with for the day. I haven't been so obsessive in other months but this one I'm away from my partner and it's made me really fixated on what news I'd be giving him, I suppose! I left right at the start of the TWW... maximum angst. Brought four days' tests away with me thinking that'd be plenty but started testing waaaay early. Ah well, will plan for this next time it happens with a big stock of cheap tests!

@Mirla that must make it tougher being away. The TWW is torture! The second week I always find harder x

Sending love to those of you who haven’t had the results we’re all waiting for.

Thanks for the supportive words last week @Golaz @Eirlys1986 @LeopardLover my husband and I talked things over and agreed to put a line under things. I still don’t think he fully understood why I was so upset! He did reassure me he does want to continue trying but just wants to miss this cycle. We were planning to try the SMEP this month but didn’t see it through because he changed his mind. We will hopefully try again next month 🤞🏽.

@Poppy708 glad you’ve talked it through and have got a conclusion to start aiming for next month’s cycle again 😊 x

Good evening ladies!
So I've just had a call from my GP about My bloodwork done.
They have said that my iron is still low (even though I'm taking a supplement, it isn't enough). And apparently my testosterone is slightly high. They said low iron can contribute to this and this could indicate PCOS. But a different kind, not the usual as they ruled out the normal PCOS kind on a scan. They have asked I research as there can be lifestyle changes, but as it happens, I will find it very difficult to fall pregnant as I have a hormone imbalance... I said I fell pregnant 12 years ago on contraception, and I didnt know I had an issue like PCOS (whatever kind it is) and they said that the contraception could have leveled out my hormones and assisting getting pregnant? What the hell??? And I didnt even know women have testosterone?!!! Xxx

@Mummyme87 I hope you're doing okay! I also need to get back to healthy eating and exercise top but you deserve some down time while you go through this. Sending love!

@Poppy708 Oh it's great news you talked things through and you'll be back on it next cycle 😊

@Floralsandsmiles Oh wow, that's so interesting and could explain things I guess! What are the next steps? Hopefully you have a clear plan of action. I only learnt that recently re testosterone!

@Floralsandsmiles that’s really interesting, and I think positive to have something to work with? How are you feeling about it?

@Mummyme87 I think there are days to gym and days to not gym. You made the right call xxx

I managed to break my phone over the weekend so have been a little quiet on here as I couldn’t type, but obviously carried on stalking you all 👍

Had a weird few days. I am technically day 28 this cycle (maybe 11 dpi at a guess?) but have just been full of cold, exhaustion and croaky voice for near 2 weeks now, but with no pregnancy symptoms- I just feel like me with a cold. Did a test yesterday as my DH went away for 6 weeks this morning so it was our only chance of finding out together if it was positive this cycle. Negative, but it was using an Amazing cheapie stick, so I don’t imagine they’re wildly sensitive anyway 😂

Feeling very at peace either way, but definitely not feeling pregnant at this point in time. Please feel free to remind me of this zen when AF arrives 😂.

Do we need a new thread soon? X

@LeopardLover they want me to take iron supplement, then retest bloods in 8 weeks. Then see where testosterone is then. If its still high, then it's confirmed as PCOS. Other than lifestyle changes, they have said nothing can be done as I don't qualify for IVF.
Frantically researching lifestyle changes.... any help anyone knows of, please pass on. I'm devasted! Xxx

Hi @Floralsandsmiles I don’t wish to speak out of turn but being a GP myself I’m not sure I agree 100% with info you’ve been given. Testosterone is indeed high in women with PCOS but to make the diagnosis there needs to be the chemical changes of PCOS (I.e high testosterone and sometimes low SHBG ) along with either multiple ovarian cysts on the scans and/or other symptoms of high testosterone namely infrequent periods, male pattern hair growth on chin/chest/tummy etc, acne to name a few. Also, PCOS is typically associated with higher ferritin (iron) levels as testosterone can actually improve in men if you give them iron supplements when they have iron deficiency.
If you do have PCOS whilst it can interfere with fertility significantly for sure, if you have evidence from OPK you are ovulating and have regular cycles then I wouldn’t say it’s fair of them to state you would have a hard time conceiving.
As for the time you got pregnant 12 years ago I’m not sure I’m convinced by the contraception levelling hormones theory….it may just have been that you didn’t have pcos at the time. It is not always a life long diagnosis and can be a temporary hormonal thing for some. So if you do have pcos now doesn’t mean you had it 12 years ago.
Im sorry if I’ve thrown confusion into the mix for you with everything I’ve said but I find the information you’ve been given somewhat unclear if I’m honest. Happy to be corrected if more experienced posters on here know anything different x

Ps if you do end up having a confirmed diagnosis of pcos with infrequent or absent ovulation- fertility specialists will sometimes prescribe metformin (a diabetes drug) along with an ovulation stimulating drug called clomifene to help.

Thank you so much @Eirlys1986 for your response.
I asked for next steps and the GP said that if the repeat bloods in 8 weeks (after iron supplement has kicked in) still show high testosterone, they can't refer me to fertility as I don't qualify and the only other thing they can do is refer me to gynaecology. To treat the PCOS but not fertility issue.
I believe I'm ovulating as I have regular periods every month, peak LH when testing through the month and the scan indicates both ovaries are functioning.
The only other thing I said I get when the GP said about high testosterone, was facial hair on my chin since my DC 12 years ago. Nothing else. So confused.. xxx

@Floralsandsmiles "lifestyle changes" is usually a code word for "lose some weight", which isn't a remotely helpful suggestion for people who struggle with their weight because of PCOS messing with hormones in the first place... One friend would do boot camp daily and count calories during the time she was TTC and still get told she wasn't doing enough. Also I don't know if this is at all relevant to you and hope you don't find it rude that I've mentioned it!

I found some not too expensive tests at my local shop and apparently they're 20mIU sensitivity. Would quite like to instantly get to sleep now so I don't have to wait before I use it.

I put temperature measurements into the Premom app these last three days (I'd not done any in my prior cycles), and it recalculated the estimate of when AF will arrive to one day later, so apparently I'm now 13DPO and expecting AF in two days. Unimpressed at the prospect of an extra day to wait for it! Would explain the lack of cramps this evening though (which the absence of had me getting my hopes up a bit, I'll admit).

Thank you @Mirla , I suspected that is what the GP meant too.. I'm currently looking at weight loss programs and boot camps, to try to shift this. I'm not massive but slightly overweight and if it helps, I'm shifting it. Xxx

@Floralsandsmiles I don't know your size but agree lifestyle changes can usually mean weight loss.

With DD I got pregnant not long after our wedding so was in the best shape of my life. Resistance exercise, running, Pilates and calorie deficit (Fast800 kick started my pre wedding diet and would recommend).

Now I'm the frazzled mum of a toddler I'm doing none of the above but if I don't get a BFP this month will start some of the above

A snug size 14, but for my height I'd say I could do with loosing some weight. Thank you @TrudyProud , I will be looking into all this.xxx

Afternoon ladies. 11dpo and bfn on cheapie stick this morning so fairly sure I’m out. They’re just £1 but claim to be 10miu/ml. Not sure how reliable. Also cannot catch fmu again cos was up with toddler at 2am and 4am and 6am and peed all three times. Oh the joys. Will stop torturing myself with these bfns tho. Have some v v v light brown tinge to cm and some cramping. Not sure what that’s about. At least not spotting as badly as I was this time last month. Am considering stopping breastfeeding 😭 as worried it’s impacting on luteal phase. X

BFN for me too this morning. I am done, and have now moved on to hoping AF shows up tomorrow as scheduled because I'm impatient to get on with the next round now!

@Mirla sorry about the BFN, good luck for next cycle
@Muriel84 I am a bit worried about BF and my luteal phase too as I am just about scraping 10 days now but looking back at old cycles when got pregnant with first baby I had a short luteal phase too. It’s a really difficult decision to stop BF, especially if you end up stopping and it not making a difference so it is really tricky and emotionally charged too.

@Muriel84 @Mirla I'm sorry about the bfns. I'm sure I will be the same, I'm 11dpo but no tests in to use. However I don't feel any different and have the usual mild headache I always get on the lead-up to AF.

@Eirlys1986 yup it’s so hard to decide. I’m just an inpatient control freak struggling with a situation over which I have very little control 🙈😂 😭 I’ll see how this cycle ends as still have faint brown tinge to cm. Before ttc I didn’t have this! My luteal phase is usually 15 days I think. Several of my friends have given up BF before conceiving their second but it’s hard to know whether that actually impacted. I had hoped to give up while pregnant cos there’s noway I’d tandem feed.
@Mirla sorry to hear you got a bfn too. Weirdly I have awful heartburn again today which I rarely get but was my first sign in previous pregnancies. Trying not to get my hopes up as would expect a faint line by day 11 tho didn’t have a frer.
@vitahelp thank you. Sorry to hear it’s not feeling positive for you too xx

My zen is gone. Less than 24 hours 😂

Has AF arrived @Bumblebee413? 🙏

My period still hasn’t arrived & is 3 days late. Tested again & I’m not pregnant sadly. I think the delay has been caused by stress ~ work has been mad, all this TTC stuff & the house needs sorting.

On the above posts, I’ve gain a stone in 2 years. Still under 10 stone but I’m a petite person so I need to start looking after myself (maybe the med diet) and maybe some exercise will help my stress levels too. Oh and I necked my first procieve max today - not too bad tasting! Phew!

No, but it is usually due within the next week, so should know for certain in a few days. Achey lower back, but I’ve got old bones and a heavy toddler. Think I’m just aware that the whole next cycle is probably a dud and it will likely be too late for the next and so forth. The more I think about it, the more I realise that maybe getting pregnant in the next few months is really going to be quite a challenge.

Sorry about your bfn's @Muriel84 and @Mirla 💞 hope you get it next cycle, ladies!! 🤞🏻