So Cheryl Cole 39 said she's too old to have another biological baby

[xKri55yx]

Cheryl Cole just said at 39 she's too old to have another biological baby. What's your thoughts?
I'm genuinely curious as someone who's nearly 38 I'm still trying for my first baby.
Can a healthy pregnancy be possible?
At 39 apparently half your eggs would be deemed chromosomally abnormal.
What's your experience on getting pregnant at this age?

FFS how can Cheryl Cole’s personal musings actually spark an adult woman with access to google to wonder whether anyone over 39 has a healthy baby.

It is absolutely possible to have a healthy pregnancy in your late 30s/early 40s and most people who make it through the first trimester do. It is more likely there will be fertility issues. It is more likely that things will “go wrong”. And it is more likely that it will feel like harder work. But (apart from the fertility aspect which I’m unsure of uptodate figures on) the vast majority of women having babies at that age have successful pregnancies and healthy babies.

I had my first kids at 40. Twins. They were healthy and so was I. Having done it, I would say I wish I had been physically younger, though my reasons for waiting were also valid. I can see why someone might decide that, for them, the physical aspect seems more than they want to go through as they get older. None of that means it’s the wrong choice for you.

Of course she knows lots of women older than her have healthy babies.

She's speaking purely for herself and her own health and circumstances. We're all different.

It’s all relative, I think. I had my first at 29 and my last at 33 - I’m now early 40s and don’t think I’d have the energy for a newborn/toddler/pre-schooler.

As a general rule though, if you feel like you want one at any age you should crack on and not be influenced by societal pressures/opinions.

I never thought I'd be in the position of defending Cheryl fucking Cole

Same. It's a ghastly situation to find myself in.

But desperate times call for desperate measures and people criticising a woman for daring to express a fairly mild opinion on what is right for her and her body and her circumstances is one of those times.

I think this question really depends on whether you already have children or not, I am 38, no children and trying for first, if I was 38 and already had children perhaps i would feel too old, who knows. If you don't have children your biological urge to reproduce has not been satisfied so that will take precedence over any feelings of being too old. Each to their own.

I agree, we definately dont want to fear monger (especially as women have fought so hard to have careers). However, that doesn’t take away from the fact that all the OP needs to do is put into google when fertility declines and she can see for herself. Ofcourse there are always exceptions to every rule, but generally speaking, you are more likely to struggle to concieve the older you are.

You don't sound much nicer tbh.

I think I agree with this comment.

Honestly, how can a woman in her later 30s not know the answer to the question, or that everyone has to make a personal choice about when they feel too old, rather than there being a categorical answer.

Again, OP if you want a baby, you need to get in and try. Whether you have fertility issues, conceive first time or face any of the difficulties that can mean some people feel too old, cannot be known until you try.

Best of luck.

I’ve read Cheryls comments, it’s very clear she’s talking about herself only, her age, the age of her child, the age gap her kids would have, how the pandemic made her feel about bringing another child into the world. And she lost a friend at a young age which can change how you feel about having children as an older mum. I’m sure she has very little opinion on whether Louise on mumsnet has a baby in her late 30s.

I wouldn’t have had children past my early 30s, just my personal preference. I had both my children in my mid-late 20s.

Woman must not have an opinion in case it upsets people.

Everyone is different and I think some people's fertility will have fallen and for others it hasn't I think physically a 40 year old can still be very fit and healthy. I definitely felt too old at 40 but that is mainly because my children who I had in my early 30's have drained me beyond imagination. If I hadn't already had children and wanted them then I would still be trying at 39/40 but suspect beyond that I would start to question whether I should move on.

It's her body if she feels too old she feels too old. That's not her insulting other women in different situations.

I think another poster summed it up completely, she’s not saying she’s too old to have a child, she is saying she feels too old to conceive a baby doesn’t want to carry it and that’s very different. The concern is, her comments have made people including the OP be fearful of leaving it ‘too late’. The right time is what you decide not according to the gospel of Cole.

I'm 29 and had my DD at 20, I feel too old to have another baby because of the age gap and starting again even if I'm physically not old.

I think it depends on circumstances. I'm 36 and feel I wouldn't have the energy for a 2nd i had such a rough time with my 1st! However I know loads of people who had healthy pregnancies in their 40s.

Surely it's up to her. If she feels 39 is too old for her, that's fair enough. She's not saying no one should have a baby at or after that age!
Personally, I agree with her but I realise that everyone's circumstances are different.

For some people, it is. I had my first at 38, after 8 years of trying, and despite trying for the next six years, haven’t conceived again (under fertility clinic, had various interventions, was told egg reserves too poor for IVF). So 39 was definitely not biologically possible for me.

We have no idea how easy or hard Cheryl has found it to conceive, or what she has tried so far. Entirely possible she can’t conceive naturally at 39.

My MIL was 48 when she had my husband. My best friend was 51 when she got pregnant, unfortunately she miscarried at 4 months. Her thought was that she had lots of tests and would have carried on having tests so what would be would be and if anything showed up on tests then she would make a decision at that point.

I had my 4th at 41 ?!

I just think everyone is different there is no magic age!

I was physically fitter in my pregnancy at 40 than I was in my pregnancy at 22.

When I was pregnant at 22, I was morbidly obese, couldn’t walk upstairs as my knees were too painful because of the weight. My c section recovery and the surgery itself was greatly impacted by my size.

At 40, I was far fitter and healthier and a healthy weight with zero mobility issues.

People see age as the only factor.

Agree-its a personal choice. Some people are ready to be Mum’s at 20, some are ready at 40. Some 25 year olds are knackered being parents and some 45 year olds have tons of energy for it. She’s obviously speaking on a personal level and I feel the same as her (having had children earlier, I wouldn’t be keen to do it at my age now).

Also, I think the majority of the population know fertility declines from 30’s onwards. Theres plenty of charts out there explaining it so it shouldn’t be a surprise its going to be more difficult (generally speaking - ofcourse there are plenty of exceptions) as you get into late 30’s/40’s.

www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/body/health/a36103165/fertility-declines-35-women/

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/apr/10/fertility-cliff-age-35-week-in-patriarchy

jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-abstract/2778126

Something to put your mind at ease, OP, that a lot of the statistics on female fertility are proving outdated. And in time new research will emerge as it does on so many other things. Human beings do evolve and adapt to our circumstances and environment - even the female body.

I'm a similar age to Cheryl and had no upper age limit for babies until I realised that one of the grandma's at DCs school is actually the mother! I realised that would be me in 10 years if I had another now. Turning 40 has also started some (probably realistic) anxiety about my future health. I'm thinking more about my pension, paying off the mortgage, retirement etc. Having babies at this stage in life feels too late for me. Sorry if that's a bit depressing. I know a woman who just had a healthy baby at 47!

If Cheryl feels that she is too old, then that is what she feels.

Other will feel differently, or agree.