Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

Absolutely @Downtherabbithole83 😆

I completely get the pregnancy envy, a member of my team became a dad for the first time a week after my tfmr and, as I'd returned from mat leave a couple of months before, everyone assumed I'd be all up for the baby chat and helping choose the gifts (to be fair, they didn't - and still don't - know about my loss as I only told my manager). I managed to hold it together.. in public at least!

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through @Hotsweatymomspagetti. I hope the tests give you the answer you want... whatever that may be

@abbaroony welcome to club no one wants to join.
@Downtherabbithole83 That's so kind of them 🥰
@Hotsweatymomspagetti That must have been so hard, I had mild HG and was sick multiple times a day and that was bad enough. Things like brushing my teeth or drinking water would start me being sick and then I just couldn't stop.

Baby envy is def big over here. Had 2 friends who were due in the 2months before we were. Both babies are around 6months and a few weeks before christmas was the first time I could bring myself to hold and cuddle them. Although I felt I could feel everyone's eyes on me, trying to gauge my feelings.

Has anyone used Pregnacare conception vitamins? I started a few months ago. The second month they lengthened my cycle by a few days. This month I have had pink water cm, stomach cramps, mouth ulcers and feeling sick from 7dpo to now (11dpo) wondering if I'm just run down or if I should just stop taking them 😕

@HoneyPea ive been taking them for about 6 months with nothing really to report my last cycle was 27 days which is short for me as normally mine are 29 or the odd 28 days so yea nothing really but I’ve heard people have had issues, although they are vitamins so I don’t understand why.

my sister in law was due 2 weeks after me, my fiancés best friend and wife were due 2 weeks before me. All their babies were fine all girls, mine wasn’t - also a girl so u can imagine. I haven’t met any of their babies. Can’t face it tbh x

@Hotsweatymomspagetti That must have been so difficult. I hope your test results are good. HG is horrendous. I had moderate HG when I was pregnant and I was off work and continuously sick until the tfmr at 18+ weeks. It was horrible going through all that sickness essentially for nothing iyswim. Luckily my next, healthy pregnancy was pretty much sickness free. I couldn't believe how different it was.

With my tfmr pregnancy I had a bad feeling from day 1. I just couldn't shake the feeling thar something was wrong. People used to tell me off for "worrying too much " but I think I knew something was up. When I got pregnant again I didn't have that at all. Obviously I had all the anxiety and the worry of a pregnancy, but I didn't have the "wrong" feeling. I wonder if it's instinct or something?

Hello ladies, please can I also join this shitty club?
I'm very fortunate to have 2 lovely girls (7 and 4) but had a very traumatic TRMR in the summer at 17 weeks due to T18.
We've been TTC for 18 months, I'm nearly 42 so expected it to be hard but not this hard.
Was pregnant in September '21 but had a miscarriage at 9 weeks in December.
Then was pregnant again in February but found out at 11 weeks (private Harmony test) that baby had T18.
I spent the following month driving myself insane reading everything published by the BMJ and praying it was a false positive due to placental mosaicism.
Went through 5 weeks of hell (perfectly healthy scans, transvaginal CVS to test the placena and finally amniocentesis as the CVS was inconclusive) before the results and final scan showed no kidney function and a major heart defect.
Gave birth to him a week later and he was cremated.
It was the worst experience of my life and I'm so sorry that you have all been through the same situation, I share your grief.
Found out I was pregnant again in September, 10 weeks before the due date and the same day my youngest started school so it seemed poetic - but the line quickly faded and I miscarried at 6 weeks.
Since then we've been TTC again halfheartedly, I've started taking medication for the overwhelming anxiety I've felt since I lost my son and I've been feeling really alone and terrified of getting my hopes up and then having them crushed again.
My OH is supportive about TTC but to be honest, he'd rather we gave up than go through another late loss again.
I've been reading It Starts With The Egg and have so far thrown away all our bloody Tupperware (!) and started taking Kaneka Ubiquinol, a DHEA supplement, plus Pregnacare (because I have 5 boxes left) on top of the 5mg Folic acid and 75mg aspirin as recommended by GP.
I'm feeling so fed up that the massive glass pint of wine I drink most evenings probably cancels all the damn supplements out though.
Saw my GP a few weeks ago and she's referring me to an NHS fertility clinic but I have no idea what they can do to help as I'm waaaay too old to qualify for IVF...
Had the day 5/day 21 progesterone test results this week and according to that I'm not peri-menopausal and am ovulating - the 3 pregnancies in 12 months suggests his sperm are swimming, so not sure what that means for me?
So I still have eggs (and a regular cycle) but if the last 3 were 'faulty' due to my advanced age then the only thing I can do is continue supplements and put down my wine glass?
Not sure there's any point in the fertility clinic prescribing progesterone if that might simply prolong an unviable pregnancy and extend the misery?
If I'm ovulating (but the eggs are poor) then would Clomid even be appropriate, and guess it could result in a risky multiple pregnancy?...
Not sure what to expect from an NHS fertility clinic at this point but OH is firmly against private IVF so it's the only avenue.
Feeling very lost and overwhelmed so glad to find others in a similarly leaky boat as me - I'm just sorry we're all lost in choppy waters.
Any one had a positive experience of an NHS fertility clinic?
Gutted I'm so old, I so wish I'd started motherhood sooner, but I can't imagine how hard this journey is for women suffering primary fertility.

I guess it's not comparable, whether it's your first baby or your tenth baby, it's still unbearable but I'm finding all my friend's pregnancies and new babies really hard at the moment.
My phone constantly shows me 'on this day' photos of my girls as little babies and the bonkers thing is that I'm even jealous of 'old me' and berating myself for not soaking up every single second of their earlier existence!
Tell me it's not just me! 😳

Hi @Justholdingmybreath I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles , it's tough whatever your circumstances. I have no experience of a fertility clinic but I hope they're able to give you some answers/help. Don't beat yourself up about not starting sooner, hindsight is a wonderful thing but I'm sure there were good reasons you didn't x

Morning ladies, feeling a bit grumpy today as AF has arrived but at least it means we can get on with trying again… I really hate the TWW!

@Justholdingmybreath that all sounds really tough. It's so hard to know what to do isn't it. I completely understand your feelings about not knowing the best thing to do now and the right route to take. Sending lots of support in what sounds like a really trying time.
I feel in a similar position in that I just want some answers - is it my eggs, is it his sperm, is it just bad luck, is it just a waiting game...!? It's the uncertainty of it all that's just so difficult isn't it.

Sorry to hear that, but as you say... it's the start of another opportunity to try. I'm with you on the TWW being grim!

@Downtherabbithole83 sorry AF has arrived. At least it's the start of a new cycle, and you can get on with trying again.

I'm feeling like a right grumpy moo today as well, so think mine's on its way soon. Doesn't help that the weather's been pants today, so we can't even get out.

Thanks @abbaroony and @Hidingawaytoday, tbh I have been pretty sure for a few days that it wasn’t happening this cycle so the arrival of AF has been a bit of a relief!

I'm so sorry if this upsets anyone but I really need a hand hold please.

Did a cheap strip test because DH has been saying for a few days he thinks I'm pregnant. Period not due for another 2days and it's come out a blaring positive (test line darker than control) We weren't planning on trying again until next month and I never had a positive ovulation test this month (the only day I didn't do one was on Christmas Day and Fitbit app said ovulation on Boxing Day) Really don't know how to feel right now. Should the test be so strong yet? Really freaking out

Sorry @Justholdingmybreath Welcome, so sorry to hear what you have been through x

Congratulations @HoneyPea!
I'm sure you must be feeling many mixed emotions right now. Here to support as much as possible. Your husband must have very strong intuition!
As far as I know, the only thing a really strong test line so early might indicate is multiples.

Hi everyone, I think this may be the right group for me too. I'm really sorry we are all here and I hope you all get your rainbow babies very soon ♥️

I had to have a TFMR in June last year. We found out at our 20w scan that there was hardly any amniotic fluid and our babies organs weren't growing properly and some were surrounded by fluid. I gave birth to our little boy 2 weeks later and he looked perfect and just like his Daddy which was heartbreaking. We had our post mortem results appointment 4 months later and found out that my placenta wasnt functioning how it should have so this was why there was little fluid and why our baby boy didn't develop properly, if it had then he would have been perfectly healthy. I've had blood tests since and nothing had come back conclusive as to why my placenta didn't do what it was supposed to. We have just started TTC again and as much as I want the BFP I'm terrified too as we still don't know why and whether the same will happen again 💔

I'm so glad we have a place to talk with others who truly understand. I looked at some of the pregnancy after loss groups but even those didn't feel like the right groups for us TFMR mamas.

Sending you all love on this journey ♥️

Congratulations @HoneyPea! That really is amazing news and I’m sure you are feeling every emotion under the sun right now. Take each day slowly, look after yourself and don’t forget however you are feeling is valid and dont be hard on yourself ♥️

@HoneyPea congratulations! I’ve always had strong lines very quickly… I’ve certainly never experienced the ‘squinter’ lines that people share online.

Hope you’re okay and aren’t stressing out too much xxx

Welcome to the group @LE68 and sorry for what you’ve been through.

Hopefully with this in your history they will monitor the function of your placenta very closely in any future pregnancies?

Thank you @Downtherabbithole83. yeah, they have said we will be able to have an early reassurance scan at 6 weeks and earlier anomaly scan at I think 16 weeks. I’m not sure how early on they can check placental function on a scan, everything was fine at 12 weeks last time so I’m not sure

@abbaroony He really does and has told me each time before I've taken a test and hasn't been wrong yet, but I also seem to get a lot of symptoms (different in each pregnant so far) a few days after ovulation.
@LE68 Thank you I honestly have no idea how I'm feeling right now.
@Downtherabbithole83 I think the strong line is making me stress more actually. Our little girl had T21 and related heart problems and doesn't high HCG relate to T21? But I also had hyperemis with my little boy. I do feel different to my last 2 pregnancies but all have had different symptoms so far.
Pic posted of test which is 12dpo

@HoneyPea I believe high Hcg is linked to T21 but only when it’s also accompanied by low Papp-a… I had exactly these results with my T21 pregnancy.

However, my hcg levels were almost exactly the same with my daughter but my Papp-a levels were much higher so the gap between them wasn’t as significant - I had a 1 in 10000 chance of T21 with her even with high hcg (compared to a 1 in 5 for my T21 pregnancy).

Hope this makes sense… maybe it’s a multiple pregnancy 😬 I believe that would also result in high hcg. Did you definitely ovulate when you think you did? Any chance you could be further along?

Congratulations @HoneyPea that's lovely news! I'm another that's only ever had strong positives (though I normally only test after AF is late) so I don't think it's anything to worry about. You must be having such mixed emotions, but I'll keep everything crossed it works out for you!

@Downtherabbithole83 Thank you, I think anything would stress me out at the moment. Had a very light line with my CP in July so if it had been light I think I would be panicking too 🤦‍♀️ Don't think I could be further along had a definite 6 day period in December and started getting symptoms (pink cm) at what would have been 7dpo. I never got a positive ovulation test and it's the first month I've tried to track only thought I would as Pregnacare conception tabs had lengthened my cycle and thus changed usual ovulation day from 14-17, started testing from CD11.