Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

Welcome @abbaroony. I'm sorry for your losses and glad you're in a better place now. Keeping my fingers crossed you fall again soon 🤞

@ArrrMeHearties congratulations! It's great to hear a positive story.

@downtherabbithole83 I was told I'd have one once the postmortem results were back but that could take a while, but to be honest we know what the problem was and that it was just bad luck... the main thing we want to know is whether baby was a boy or girl. Did you have a post mortem done?

It's interesting so many of you wanted to dtd so quickly, I really didn't want to after mine! The first time we did it was when I was in my fertile window 😆.

I'm feeling quite emotional this evening, AF is due in a few days so it's probably that. But I'm still hoping it's not!

Sorry you’re feeling a bit low today @Hidingawaytoday . One thing I’m quickly realising is that even when I think I’m okay, the lows get me when I least expect. I find chocolate helps 😉 AF is due for me on Sunday so I am in PMS hell (or more accurately, the rest of the house is…) plus my ex husband and his partner had a baby today so getting to tell my daughters that they have a new baby sister has stirred up some weird emotions!

We haven’t had a post mortem done - there was nothing else that we needed to know really. We found out gender from the detailed CVS results a week after the tfmr (it was a girl). Did they give you an idea of when you’d get results?

Welcome @abbaroony to our little tribe! It’s lovely to have somewhere to talk where people truly understand.

hi @abbaroony im sorry you find yourself here too 😩💖 it’s really tough.
my partner has his sperm analysis on 09 Feb, when’s yours?
I work in a doctors surgery, so I see people’s results all the time and have having a look to see what results u get from there.
hope ur ok x

Thank you @NSx
It's tomorrow - we've actually decided to pay for it rather than wait for a referral, appointments are taking months and months to get round here (probably the same for everyone) so we've bitten the bullet and gone private.

It's difficult to know what to hope for - obviously normal results would be great, but wouldn't give any answers. At least if they find something there might be something we could do about it.

Thanks everyone for the kind welcome - a place I'm sure none of us imagined we'd ever find ourselves in, but so lovely to have the support of others who have been through similar ❤️

@Downtherabbithole83 they said it could take 12 weeks - which would mean mid-february, I think, then we'll have an appointment with the consultant to discuss them. I'm trying to stay away from the chocolate post Christmas 😆😆 (it won't last... in reality, I just cba to get up and walk to the kitchen)

That must have been a hard thing to tell your daughters. I hope you're on the chocolate (or wine!)

@Hidingawaytoday I am a chocolate addict. While I was off work for the tfmr, they had a collection for me at work but they decided that instead of flowers they would fill every drawer in my desk with chocolate… it’s hard to avoid even though I’m trying to be good 😂

@Downtherabbithole83 haha! That's amazing and so lovely of your team!

It’s worked in their favour: I’m so worried about the amount that I’m constantly giving it away! Anyone who enters my office gets offered some 😂

@Downtherabbithole83 that's amazing, what a lovely present!

Welcome @abbaroony and sorry for your loss. I hope your appointment tomorrow goes well.

@Downtherabbithole83 That must be tough. I don't know about you but I get terrible pregnancy and baby envy and all these new arrivals and announcements really wind me up. DC's little school friend came up to me today to tell me that her mum is pregnant and she went into detail about scans and everything and she was so excited (she's only 5, bless her). I was immediately jealous and I barely even know this kid or her mum. 😅

So AF did make an appearance today. Still like 5 days early but at least my cycle is still normalish.👍

@Downtherabbithole83 lol, so where is it you work again? Just curious... 😉😆🍫

It was so sweet of them - I was really touched. ❤️

Hahahaha! Asking for someone else right@Hidingawaytoday ?! 😂

Hi all! I had a TFMR in 2017, after 2 years of TTC. I’ll never ever forget that feeling. We started trying again pretty much straight away just because it brought me some comfort. It took another year or so to conceive again and I was a nervous wreck throughout, spent a fortune on private scans literally just to ease my daily anxiety and ultimately it was a bit of a shit show anyway which ended with an emergency section. However, DS is 3 now and perfect. It’s so tough, so I totally understand how you feel x

@AlwaysWorriedAboutEverything I assume that’s totally normal!! Pregnancy envy in particular for me… which is stupid because I was so ill throughout the last one. Can’t help it though.

Sorry your AF arrived but at least now you’re ready to go again! If it’s coming, I wish my AF would hurry up and arrive so I can get my opks ready to go…

Welcome @Abouttimemum - I’m so glad you got your rainbow even if (in your words) it was a bit of a shit show!

@abbaroony ah ok that makes sense, we were quite lucky my partners gp was very forthcoming and gave him the specimen bottle basically straight away, the longest part was waiting for an appt at the hospital to drop it off. I think we’ve been waiting since end of November/ start of December can’t remember exactly -do about 9/10 weeks maybe which isn’t that bad for the NHS. Results will come back pretty quick so atleast we will know if there’s a problem, I had bloods done a few months ago and they were fine.
honestly the whole situation is horrendous. I genuinely didn’t think this would happen, I was so naive I didn’t even know about all these conditions and syndromes 😩

I’d also add that I think it’s really normal to have pregnancy envy. The day after I came home after my surgery the woman I sit next to at work text me to tell me she had told everyone at work she was pregnant and felt really shit (she’d been on holiday so hadn’t really known what was going on with me) anyway she’s lovely and it’s not her fault but I basically hated her for quite some time ha. Not really, but it felt that way. Also the fact her husband looked at her and she was basically pregnant. And then her son was born at the same time my son was supposed to be born. I mean it was grim. And even harder to try to be happy. Even though I was happy for her as she deserves to be happy, but tinged with sadness. It’s such an awful range and mixture of emotions you’re trying to keep under control. Even though you try really hard to be pragmatic it’s really tough when it all feels so unfair.

Yes me! Our TFMR was due to maternal health (HG where my body started to shut down).

We have a plan with the consultant if we wanted to ttc again and waiting on some extra tests of liver / stomach etc to see what damage has been done. It could be a complete no go for an another.

Im almost more scared they say we can go again incase it ends up the same situation. Im
so scared to ever be pregnant again.

Thank you. I also totally understand that it’s not really helpful to hear other people’s success stories. Pretty much everyone was saying to me, oh my next door neighbour’s neice’s best friend’s sister had this happen to her and she’s a mum of 3 now. DO. NOT. CARE.

Unless you’re a better person than me of course 😬

100% on the pregnancy envy, when people tell me they are sick once a day I have to really hold
in my thoughts. I hate the fact my body doesn’t seem to like pregnancy, I hate the fact I nearly died in my last pregnancy and some people seem to sail through.

Oh gosh @Hotsweatymomspagetti that sounds terrifying! No wonder you’re worried. Hopefully the tests give you good results xx

@Abouttimemum your comments really made me laugh! At the moment those stories do give me hope but I’m also a jealous rage- monster 😂