Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

@NSx It really is. When I was still pregnant with my poorly baby I remember crying to my husband how much I wanted a baby and how unfair it all was because I had a "perfectly good baby in my tummy". But she wasn't though because she was so unwell.

I don't know what AF is doing. All cramps are gone and there's no spotting either. Maybe my body tried to have an early period but decided against it. I hope it kicks off soon so I can have it over and done with. I'm hoping we can actually start not preventing this month but I know DH is nervous and worries about it so we will probably end up not being in the mood at all. 😅

@AlwaysWorriedAboutEverything i honestly cried and cried - it was by far the most horrendous thing I’ve ever been through.
It’s hard enough to get to the stage of being pregnant, to then have the rug pulled from under your feet.
horrible x

@NSx @AlwaysWorriedAboutEverything I had to have 5 weeks off work because of this: I cried at EVERYTHING! I’d think I was fine and then someone would say something or I’d see a baby and I’d instantly be a wreck again. Not ideal when working in a school as there is a constant stream of babies around.

Like you say, I’ve never felt anything like it before. The sadness was overwhelming.

How has everyone been today? Still no AF here but the back pain has been building all day… should be too much longer.

Did anyone else (particularly those of you who had T21 babies) find the tfmr pregnancy different to others if you’ve experienced them?

@Downtherabbithole83 AF just started properly for me which is a relief as I've been spotting for 9 days and I was wondering if that was it and if my lining was really affected after the mmc. I'm hoping we can try again soon now!

Im still trying for our first but did notice a difference in symptoms between my tfmr pregnancy and my mmc. I miss being pregnant so much even though i felt exhausted or nauseous all the time!

My GP has booked me an ultrasound next week to check that everything is ok in there after all the severe cramping I've had, which will be reassuring if nothing else. He's also prescribed me the 5mg Folic Acid which is great so I can get started on that! I'm also reading 'it starts with the egg' which is good and feels proactive whilst I wait for us to be fully ready and the results to be back x

Sorry if I’ve missed it but what’s the 5mg folic acid for ? @whippeywhippet

@whippeywhippet I've also read this, it's really interesting and like you said feels proactive. I think if you tried to follow everything in the book you'd go a bit mad though, because she covers a lot of different areas.

I have my reassurance 8 week scan on Monday and I'm starting to get worried. Or not really even worried- I'd say more than half of me is totally convinced they are going to say something bad...like I can't imagine a different scenario...

Our baby had a brain abnormality so a higher dose of Folic Acid has been suggested to be beneficial to take for at least 3 months before conception. They don't really tell you these things (or at least I wasn't) so I only knew about it from reading up on her condition. x

Oh gosh yes, completely agree on the book, I feel like you could send yourself barmy trying to follow everything. I feel a bit guilty that our first pregnancy we were so blasé about everything that the book is helping me to feel more informed, but also a bit sad that I wasn't more in-tune the first time around.

I only said to a friend yesterday that (fingers crossed) when the times comes for us to be pregnant again I might need to be sedated for the whole time, I can't imagine how nervous and anxious you are. It's so unfair that the excitement is tarnished from our experiences. I have everything crossed for you though, and just think how amazing you will feel when the scan is all good. My husband always says to only worry about what you can control. You can't control what is going on inside your body or what the scan says so busy yourself with something else to alleviate the worry. I know it's easier said than done x

This is amazing news and makes me so happy for you and optimistic for our future. Have you had extra testing or scans with this pregnancy? X

@whippeywhippet ah ok, I see - it’s mad how much info you can find online that drs don’t suggest without u asking. I think unless it’s a fertility doctor they don’t really go into much detail with stuff like this, my baby was t13 but we were told it’s not genetics after the investigation so hoping if we’re lucky to fall again it should be fine 🤞🤍

@ArrrMeHearties 💖💖 this gives me a bit of hope. I don’t know why it takes so long second time around xx

Apologies I had asked mnhq to delete my post as I thought I'd posted twice on the same thread but I hadn't 🙈 I had genetic testing after the birth and they all came back clear there was no cause for what happened it was just bad luck sadly. This pregnancy I had an early anomaly scan at 17wks and have my 20wk one next week. I'll get regular growth scans (I make big babies) and will have a gtt but other than that I'd reckon I'll get seen as a regular albeit higher risk pregnancy

@ArrrMeHearties I missed the post but as everyone is saying it’s giving them hope, would you mind posting the rough details again? Thanks 😁

@whippeywhippet so pleased that you’re getting checked over and that you’ve been prescribed the folic acid. I can totally understand why that would be reassuring.

We we’re told we’d have a follow-up appointment 6-12 weeks after our tfmr but I haven’t heard anything yet and it’s 7 weeks…

@Downtherabbithole83 no of course not. I had to have a tmfr at 24wks in october 2021 due to our baby having hypoplastic left heart syndrome and other anomalies. I am now 20wks pregnant with our rainbow who does not have any of the previous anomalies. I fell pregnant in August 10 months after the tmfr. We were trying and I was watching my fertile time but it was still unexpected in a sense when I got the positive as we weren't banking on it

@Downtherabbithole83 my follow up was exactly 12 weeks after tfmr & they only contacted me 2 weeks or so prior to invite me in for my appt.

@ArrrMeHearties I’ve literally ovulated today or am ovulating today I don’t know, but anyways its cycle 7 for me (8 month-ish since tfmr) - I am almost losing hope as it hasn’t happened yet, but the fact it took you 10 months defo gives me a bit of a light at the end of the tunnel 🤞🤞🤞

Thanks for sharing @ArrrMeHearties - it sounds like you’ve given lots of us hope today! Did you starting trying again straight away?

Thanks @NSx - not sure what the meeting will really be for and they did talk about doing it remotely. 12 weeks seems so far away from when it all happened!!!

Yes we did. I actually dtd about 36hrs after birth while yes I shouldn't of I just wanted to be close to my dh and it helped me a lot. Not the best experience ever though 🙈😂

@Downtherabbithole83 for me they just confirmed the diagnosis which was evident after the birth anyways. But they went into detail with what they found with regards to placenta, brain, heart etc … and generally they just want to check your ok & answer any questions x

@ArrrMeHearties we were desperate to dtd after our tfmr because we craved that connection so I get exactly what you mean. We did it as soon as I stopped bleeding but I ended up crying afterwards - great experience 🤦‍♀️

@NSx we've already had a full breakdown of everything from the CVS results so I imagine it’ll be more of a check in then.

@Downtherabbithole83 ours was about 4months after TFMR and it was simply a check in to see how we were doing as we had had our results from the Amnio. They reassured it wasn't genetic and told us what tests we would get when if we got pregnant again.

Thanks @HoneyPea - sounds similar to what I’d be expecting then 😁

Hi, I'd love to join please.

We lost our daughter at 23 weeks in December 2021 and have been TTC ever since. I had two chemicals last year - 1 in Feb and 1 in July. I've had various blood tests and scans to see why we might be struggling to conceive this time round but apparently everything looks completely normal.

I spent a lot of last year completely obsessing over TTC but am finding myself in a much healthier place mentally now which I'm really pleased about. It's still really hard not being able to have the one thing we so desperately want though.

I'm currently on CD2 and I think I'm going to try taking soy isoflavones this cycle as I have a short-ish luteal phase. We have also booked a semen analysis for my husband to see whether there might be any problems there. Has anyone else done this?

Sending lots of strength and hope to everyone walking this tough road.