Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

Also should say that my periods are the most regular I’ve ever been and ovulation has also been pretty regular give or take a day.
So the only thing I am worried about is the mid luteal phase headache!

Morning,

Can’t quite believe that I am even posting this, but this morning at 11DPO I have got these tests….

My period is not due till Tuesday so I’m well aware that this is so early and there’s so many things that can happen. But I just can’t believe it and needed to share with people who would understand the absolute rollercoaster of emotions I’m feeling right now!
Don’t even know whether to tell my partner just yet or wait till I’m at least late for my period

It must be a huge mixture of feelings... I imagine.
It's great that you tested positive
I pray that you have a normal pregnancy with a healthy, alive baby in your arms in 9 months' time.
XXXXX

@jt130593 amazing news! So happy you've been more regular and you've got a bfp. Totally understand the rollercoaster of emotions - the first 6 weeks from my BFP were so intense with lots of trips for extra checks to ease my mind.
In answer to your other question, I was taking Inessa Advanced Mutlivitamin (recommended on the author website) which does also have high vitamin b and switched to Inessa Pregnancy Multivitamin as the former had vit a in it. Hopefully you won't need the prenatal now!

@Hotsweatymomspagetti no advice on being less scared, the fear died down for me month on month in the 18 months it took us to conceive again 😅 as with all ttc after tfmr or loss, just focus on the present and what's true that day and that's all you can do. I think it's just balancing wanting another DC and knowing what you might have to go through to get there and if you're ready to sign up to that or not. You can always re-check where you're at in a few months if it's not clear now

@jt130593 - a very early congratulations! I hope you find peace and also that you take a moment to enjoy that today, you are pregnant.

Ah @jt130593 this brought a smile to my face this morning. I’ve only been dipping in and out of this thread for the past while so missed many others good news too. It really does give so much hope after such a dreadful time. Absolutely tell your partner. This is an entirely new pregnancy and new experience. As we all know there are a lot of lows in the TTC journey so celebrate the highs when they come and take each day at a time. I hope and pray that this little baby gives you the most boring pregnancy of all. Gentle congratulations x

Thanks everyone for the kind comments.

Not the follow up post I was hoping to be writing, but looks like this one is unfortunately going to be a chemical pregnancy. My tests the last two days have gotten lighter and lighter.

I’ve never had a chemical before (that I know of) so don’t know what to expect. I know I’ve seen a few other people post that they have had them. So just wondering other people’s experiences?
Do your tests go completely negative before you bleed?
How many days late on their period have people been?
How many days have you bled for?
Is it just like a heavier period?

Found out we were pregnant, my sister told me she is pregnant, and realised that this was a chemical all in the space of 3 days and all a week before our due date with our TFMR boy. Feels like such cruel timing.

Sorry to hear this @jt130593 - I had lots of chemical pregnancies after my tfmr before my current pregnancy. Sometimes the line disappeared completely before AF arrived and others just got fainter. Sometimes I was only one or two days late and others more like a week. I did have one that just went on and on and I ended up being about 1.5 weeks late - with that one the tests didn’t fade but also didn’t get darker so I knew it was happening.

My understanding is that lots of people have chemicals and don’t realise it because it can just be like a slightly later period - I only know about my more recent ones because I was obsessively testing!

Oh and my period was just like normal when it did come.

@jt130593 I am so sorry you’re going through this, it’s all very cruel. Your feelings are totally valid and you are incredibly strong to be facing in to this. I’ve had one chemical (the month before conceiving my TFMR baby). I tested positive the day before period was due, and started bleeding about 3 days later so it was very short lived. I only tested once, oh to be so naive and confident back then and not obsess with tests. Period was slightly heavier than normal but regular length. I ovulated later the next cycle, maybe 5/6 days later. Thinking of you x

@jt130593 I’m sorry to hear this, I had what I know of my first chemical pregnancy back in April this year and it felt so cruel, I did conceive the month after and my period did feel like normal albeit day 1 was very heavy but that could have been for numerous reasons! I got positive tests for a few days then they gradually got lighter and eventually went and then my period came! I’m sorry this has happened especially with your sisters news and your due date it’s especially tough so I’m here if you want to talk! Stay strong and keep going x

Thanks everyone for your kind comments and sharing your experiences. Feel a bit better knowing what to potentially expect.

My tests started to get lighter the day after I got the 3 positives and the one this morning was so light my partner struggled to see it.
Hoping that my period isn’t delayed too much, off on holiday in 10 days and would really like to have it all done by then so I can use the time away to chill out and try and pick myself back up a bit!
Just feels like one thing after another at the minute

@jt130593 I’m sorry to have read your updates and wish you the very best.

I thought I’d update again as we are on our second round of IVF. It seems to be going better than the last round which had to be abandoned as I only produced one egg. The number of potential eggs this time is still low but enough to be going for egg collection in the coming days.

The IVF clinic has been so good and understanding of certain triggers for me because of the TFMR, they check if I want to look at scans and they are going to sedate me at egg collection before my legs go in the restraints (I had nightmares about these for a while).

I am not getting my hopes up as I know statistics are not on our side but it is so lovely to have a glimmer of hope again.
Wishing everyone the very best xx

@Pickled24 thank you. Started bleeding today and finding the chemical so mentally tough to deal with. Not sure if it’s just a combination of that, my sister announcing, and being so close to our due date but I feel like this is mentally the worst place I’ve been in since the TFMR.
Just feel so unbelievably sad these last two days have been incredibly difficult

@jt130593 how are you holding up? I think it’s such a horrible never ending rollercoaster and you’re doing ok until you’re not. I’ve definitely had some really low days and surprising things that have triggered me. I hope you’re ok.

Has anyone received worrying genetic results after their TFMR? We have been told that ours flagged something so me and my partner have had to have blood tests. No results yet but the wait is awful. It’s just like a never ending nightmare. I know the results won’t fix anything and they may not even bring comfort if it shows that we have a genetic condition that would effect future pregnancies but I just feel like until we have those results in black and white I can’t find any form of closure.

Hi, this is my first mumsnet post but hoping for some support after what I’ve been through. I went through a tfmr in May after we found out our baby had T21. Started ttc again, found out I was pregnant again in August, but just found out I’m having a miscarriage at 6 weeks.
i don’t know how to pick myself up again and everything seems so bleak.
is there anything you’re doing to find the strength/motivation?
thanks so much.

@Hoping863 I think I’m having a very early chemical miscarriage and I cried this morning. It’s so hard to want something so much but be so scared at the same time. I had counselling which helped massively. Have you spoken to ARC? I sometimes would ring them and cry down the phone. https://www.arc-uk.org

I was having a panic attack about being pregnant again but now feel guilty. It’s a massive rollercoaster and I find people don’t understand if they haven’t been through it.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, as much as people say focus on the positives it’s ok to be angry and feel upset for a few weeks. Do what ever you need to process and release some emotions. You aren’t alone, it’s not your fault 🥰

@Hotsweatymomspagetti thanks so much for your reply. Yes, I spoke to ARC for the first time yesterday after I also had a panic attack. It was my first ever panic attack so it was really scary. Thankfully my husband was around to calm me down and the lady at ARC was very nice.

im so sorry to hear you’re having a chemical pregnancy. I had one too before my tfmr so this is my third loss this year.

will you keep trying? I think we will but the thought of another loss is gut wrenching.
xxx

@Hotsweatymomspagetti and @Hoping863 sorry to hear about your early losses. I had my first chemical 2 months after my tfmr on Nov 22 (for T21) and it was so hard. I went on to have 5 more early losses (between 4 and 7 weeks) before currently being 12 weeks pregnant.

Each loss obviously resulted in some disappointment but my partner made a passing remark once of preferring to lose it at that stage than have to go through tfmr again (as early losses are often due to something not developing quite right…) and I clung on to what he said and it did help a little.

There’s no escaping that loss of any pregnancy is horrible, especially after tfmr so do whatever helps to get through it (I found ice cream and Netflix particularly effective!)

For those of you who have been following my story: we had our scan on Thursday and also had NIPT under the NHS. The scan was fine with a nice average NT measurement (last time it was over 6mm!) so we are starting to think this might actually happen… 🤞

@Downtherabbithole83 happy to hear that you're finally getting there - it gives the rest of us a bit of hope! I hope everything goes smoothly for the rest of your pregnancy.

I also really hope I don't have to go through 5 losses to get to where you are though. Each one is so devastating, although I find that it is getting easier. Well done for staying strong through all of it!

Morning ladies from sunny Greece!
Just after a bit of advice really.

Obviously I had the chemical last month, and I’ve brought some ovulation strips away on holiday. We’re not trying as I feel my body needs a bit of a break but I just wanted to get an idea of where I am after the chemical.

After our TFMR in March I’ve been getting my peak consistently on days 12/13/14, with my LH strips starting to get darker on day 10ish.

On day 9/10 my LH strips started to get darker, but nowhere near peak and have since gone back down and stayed consistently at 0.2/0.3 (normal for me post ovulation).

I’ve had fertile CM, and then had one sided pain on cycle days 13 and 14 which I normally only get after my peak and seems like that’s my ovulation. But no peak.

I normally get my peak mid afternoon, but I’ve only been testing once on a morning as it’s so warm im drinking about 3 litres of water so no way I would be able to hold my wee! But I can normally tell from my morning test if I’m going to get my peak that day, and my results have been nowhere near that.

I started tracking temp last month and so far cycle day 15 I’ve not had an increase. But last month it didn’t increase till around day 16 for a day 14 ovulation so know there’s still time.

The only other thing I’ve changed is I’ve started taking 200mg of ubiquinol and an omega 3 on the advice of my accupunturist after stopping a multi vitamin which was causing me all sorts of side effects.

Just wondering if the chemical has thrown my ovulation off? Seems odd that a TFMR at 17 weeks pregnant didn’t impact my cycle at all and it came back very regularly and consistently but a chemical at 4 weeks pregnant would affect it more.

Could I have missed my peak as I’m drinking so much?
Could the ubiquinol have affected it?

@Downtherabbithole83 so glad to hear you've reached 12 weeks, the NT was average and you've had the NIPT - I guess you are waiting on the results of that? I love it when our partners come up with a way of approaching it that gives a different perspective.

@jt130593 I know it's hard to hear but don't panic. I had a really whacky cycle on the month we actually conceived, 4 cycles after our TFMR. I had a LH peak and ovulation symptoms, but my temp didn't rise the following day. I didn't manage to do any more LH tests or DTD again, (had work visitors and was out and busy!). 48 hours after the ovu symptoms, I had them again. My BBT then increased the following day. I thought we were definitely out that cycle and yet somehow it worked!

My takeaway from that was how important it was to have the sperm up there in advance, to meet the egg! Have you looked at the Sperm Meets Egg Plan, as that really encourages it.

I was slightly nervous I had ovulated twice (more common as we get older) and I was going to get twins!

Now 32 weeks pregnant with 1 baby and everything is going ok although it has been pretty nerve-wracking and I still have moments where I wonder if I'll get a healthy baby this time x

@MrsScotland thank you. Yeah I’ve read the sperm meets the egg, that’s what we’ve been doing since our TFMR in March. Fell last month and it ended in a chemical. Just mindful I don’t want my ovulation to be too delayed and it impact my luteal phase!

@MrsScotland so pleased to hear you’re at 32 weeks and all going well x

Glad you’re doing well @MrsScotland!

Got my NIPT results this morning - low risk for all three trisomies. I was so relieved that I just sat in the car and cried - I think I’d been more worried than I realised!