Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

@Downtherabbithole83 thank you it’s reassuring to know! Wish I’d started these straight away rather than the clear blue!

Okay… so I think I’m ready to admit to myself that this might actually be happening! Hopefully these will be the last pics I post as I’m going to step away the tests (maybe do one last one at the weekend because obviously I have a POAS problem!)

I hope you start to feel confident about it to stop for your own sake, but I think I am probably not alone in enjoying your daily stick update.

@Downtherabbithole83 lines are looking fantastic! Keeping everything crossed for you! Hope you have a smooth first trimester

These look so so good! Agree with @EMcG3 :)

Woohoo Rabbit!

I just wanted to throw in my bit on the OPKs. I used Clearblue, I really like them, I agree, I stopped testing after my peak and a day or two after to check it went back down. I did add in BBT (basal body temp) to confirm ovulation and weirdly, the month I fell pregnant with my rainbow, I had a 'misfire'. I got a LH surge on Sunday, ovulation bloating and cramps the following day, but then I didn't get a rise in BBT. On the Wednesday I got the symptoms again followed by a BBT rise on Thursday. We only managed to DTD Sat/Sun/Mon so it just shows, it was good to get the sperm up there and waiting for the egg!

I can recommend reading the Sperm meets Egg book - it's free on the kindle app on your phone. We decided to start trying from day 10 of my cycle (often slipped to 11), then once I got the peak, try that day, and the two following days. The author recommends then skipping a day and trying once more for luck but we never actually managed that! It's hard going at times!

EPAU contacted me today and I have a scan at 6 weeks - so I’ve put the tests away!

That is amazing @Downtherabbithole83 I’ve got everything crossed for you!!

Quick question ladies.
I had my medical termination nearly 4 weeks ago (3 weeks and 5 days). I had bleeding at first and that was fairly heavy for the first couple of weeks and then it’s just been brown discharge and I’ve only really needed a pantyliner. The last 48 hours I’ve had the grumbly sort of pains you get before a period and lo and behold, this morning there’s bright red blood. I think this is my period although it seems quite early. How soon after TFMR did you get your periods?

I had my tfmr at 14 weeks and got my first period just over 4 weeks later.

It seems to vary quite a bit person to person but around 4 weeks sounds perfectly fine to me!

@Fullofconfusion I got my period at exactly 4 weeks after medical termination. But did have spotting for 3-4 days before that

@Fullofconfusion following on to the previous to responses, I was the same - 4 weeks 2 days after TFMR I got my period. That was January and every month since I’ve had very consistent cycles, between 28-31 days and ovulation between days 15-18. They have also been no heavier or lighter than before pregnancy too, pretty much back to how they were x

Little sensitive update from me I had my 8 week scan with my fetal medicine team yesterday and so far so good, long road ahead but I am getting scanned at 12,16,20&26 I’m not sure how to get to 20 weeks where it all went so wrong last time but trying so hard to stay hopeful - any tips? ❤️

It is really hard, time seems to move so slowly but great they’ve offered the 16 and 26w scans as that will help bridge the gap and provide reassurance.

I had the 12w scan and decided to have a private reassurance and gender scan at 16w - partly because I’ve carried a sense of detachment with this pregnancy that I’m cautiously trying to resolve and partly because waiting 8 weeks for another scan felt too long.

I have my 20w scan in 3 weeks which I feel will be a major milestone. Currently trying to keep calm about it because I’m so worried there’ll be something wrong. 16w scan showed no issues but I didn’t find it very thorough, the picture quality was really poor (I thought a private scan would be better than the NHS one!), and despite there being a trained sonographer and ex-midwife in the room I didn’t feel enough time was spent to give a medical-grade confirmation (scan was over in less than 5 mins).

My only advice is to be cautiously optimistic, celebrate minor milestones, and remember that most pregnancies are successful, and many go without any issues. Those of us on this thread have been unlucky to join a club that no one would choose to be a member of, but which also brings gratitude and an understanding of how fortunate we will be to have a healthy, happy baby at the end of it.

Just keep posting here if you need support. We all understand.

Thanks for sharing @Pickled24 and @Rumbleinthecrumble. Glad you’re both getting some extra scans.

We’re all so aware of what can go wrong now that it’s easy to forget to celebrate the little positives. Glad both your scans have gone well so far - that’s definitely something to smile over. Maybe treat yourselves to a fancy ice-cream to celebrate?

As we’ve decided that whatever happens, this will be our last attempt, we are allowing ourselves to enjoy the moment and celebrate the possibilities. I figure, if the worst does happen again, nothing can possibly make that worse so I choose to (try and) stay positive and excited for now! 6 week scan on Tuesday…

@Pickled24 Firstly, this is super positive :) It is a long road, but also - you're 2 weeks away from being 25% through this pregnancy. That's huge! And you'll get through the next 25% and then the next and the next.

My coping mechanism has been: 1 week at a time. Just take it day by day and before you know it you'll be at that next milestone. And even though you think it won't, time does pass and it might even speed up.

Things will trigger you because of what happened last time, but again, you'll get through it! I've tried to be pretty level-headed and rational throughout this pregnancy (looking at positive stats has helped), but I've been sick before most of my scans (only sickness I've had this pregnancy) which I think is a physical reaction to the subconscious stress I feel and anxiety I still have.

So just go with it, lean into any physical / mental symptoms when you need to and take it one day or week at a time. xx

@Rumbleinthecrumble @Downtherabbithole83 @Thornberry1 Aw I can’t thank you all enough for your replies they all helped me a lot reading each one!! I love this little community what a huge help it is 😍

Hi! I hope I can join in on the conversations. @Downtherabbithole83 kindly recommended this thread when replying to my original post. I’m copying and pasting what I’ve already written:

We had to make the soul shattering decision to have a medical termination mid-April this year. We have been TTC since late May but with no success.

One of the things I’ve noticed is that my period since the termination has been much lighter and lasts for no more than 3 days. Before, I use to last about 4-5 days with a regular flow. Is this something I should worry about? Has anyone else experienced this and have been successful with their rainbow babe?

I track my ovulation and I’m still regular at every 28 days with LH surges which is when we TTC. I’m taking prenatal vitamins (Proceive Max, Coq10), exercising and eating healthily. What’s working against me is my age (41) and my partner has started smoking again due to the stress and grief since the termination- though trying to quit. Maybe stress for me too if I’m being honest due to the circumstances and looking after a very wonderful, energetic and spirited three year old. I’m trying to be hopeful but I’m waning.

I’d love to hear some success stories and solidarity to anyone that has been through something similar. It’s so so hard.

The only helpful thing I can share is that it took a while for my periods to normalise after my TFMR. My cycles were also really off, I think I had 2 months with anovulation as well. If you read through the thread you‘ll see a lot of people took a while to get back to ‘normal’. It’s still been a relatively short amount of time since your TFMR so try not to worry.

Morning all - I’ve hit 6 weeks today and sickness has hit me badly. Was up at 3am vomiting and have spent the last couple of days feeling crap. I’m having a panic because this is just like our tfmr pregnancy and my other half is really worried that this sickness is a bad sign and we’re about to go through it all again.

Those of you who have had/are pregnant with your rainbow babies, has your pregnancy been similar or completely different?

I have my first scan this afternoon so I will mention our concerns then too.

@Downtherabbithole83 i haven’t been pregnant again since TFMR so can’t compare two pregnancies.
But every person I know who has been pregnant has had sickness, and has felt crappy from around 6 weeks and they have gone on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. Try to remember that it’s your bodies response to the hormonal changes needed to grow your little one.
Keeping everything crossed for you for your scan today, sending love ❤️

Morning @Downtherabbithole83 very best of luck for your scan today - we'll be thinking of you.

I felt the exact same in my first trimester of this current pregnancy (coming up to 37 weeks and all looking good so far) as I did for my tfmr pregnancy. So try not worry. Sickness means hormones which can only be positive - but definitely ask lots of questions and share your worries later today and hopefully they can properly reassure you x

@Downtherabbithole83 hello so the exact same happened to me, I’m 9 weeks now and still in sickness hell and it kicked off at 6 weeks! I had horrific sickness my last pregnancy and too felt like here we go again this means something is wrong again and said this to my midwife but she reassured me it’s not the case it’s my body reacting to pregnancy! I still have that little niggle of this feels the exact same it means something is wrong but trying to rationalise that some people just get awful sickness and I’m one of them!! I also had to go on medication again to help with my sickness which I really didn’t want to do this time round but I was getting to dehydrated - so you are not alone and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong but I understand how we will compare but try and keep saying this is a different pregnancy most pregnancies are uncomplicated! I hope your scan goes well today ❤️

Morning all. I can't believe I'm writing this but just over a month to the year to when I had my TFMR with my beautiful girl I've woken up to my BFP this morning.
I'm in so much shock. I had an Hycosy this cycle which must've done it. I'm both overjoyed and terrified. If I'm honest, I knew yesterday I was pregnant again but I couldn't bring myself to do the test. Just in so much shock, haven't even told my husband yet 🥹

That’s wonderful news @oneweecraw ❤️

@Downtherabbithole83 thank you so much. Been thinking about you a lot since your lovely news xx