The TTC Sanctuary - Let's Talk About TTC... the ups, the downs, the fantasy shopping list that is getting bigger even though our tummies aren't...

[BobHoskins]

It doesn't matter about which bracket you fit into... you can be trying for your first, or third, have been trying 6 months of 6 years, have PCOS, been on clomid, never been on the pill, IUI, IVF, suffered a lot, or only a little - let's all come together to hope, to dream, to wish and chat with like-minded people.

The only thing I ask... please no gender preference method swapping. Pretty please.

Other than that... let's get going... It's good to talk

Hi bob! we have a thread similar which might interest you titles, wait to ttc, anyone in a similar sitch, in conception, come join us! xx

I thought that thread was specifically for those waiting until their circumstances are sorted before ttc... I was hoping to bring everyone together who are trying now

Hiya

Am TTC number 3 and this is my 1st cycle.

How come 'no gender preference method swapping.'?

Actully, no dont answer that, I dont want to turn this into a debate! lol

Just thought it wasn't very fair to start a thread but put restrictions on it!

hello! I am ttc number 2, we've been trying since ds was 4 months. madness... but my body knows better than my mind, because he is now nearly 11 months and we're still trying! So, cycle 7 I think. I have been on the ttc thread which is now on part 4 but feel a bit lost there- so I wondered if I could join you here?
How's it all going for you?
I went through a frustrated and sad phase a couple of months ago and at the moment am going through a "I don't know if I want another baby yet' phase, I think. Can't be bothered with the day counting as the disappointment when AF is due.. and then late, and then arrives... is so crushing. Think maybe the denial that I want a baby is a way of dealing with the relentless advance of AF every month..

and I think I know what you mean by the gender pref thing... not that I think other people shouldn't do it, but for me, trying to apply method and 'control' to this babymaking thing just makes me feel ARRGGHHHH as it feels so UNCONTROLLABLE. It seems easier to bed in for a long wait (as it were ) when, in my head, we're just doing what we normally do and seeing what happens. That's how ds was made, so it must work for us!

Blimey. I have verbal diarrhea today. sorry.

Hi, if I'm right and this is a place to chill out when ttc all gets too stressful then count me in. We've been trying 2yrs for no1 with no joy (dur - otherwise I wouldn't be on conception!). Sometimes I'm at rock bottom over it all and sometimes I try to be a bit more chilled. Sometimes I even get philosophical about it all. In the last week I've been through all these emotions at least once

PS does this sanctuary offer any nice treatments? I could so do with some pampering right now...

Hi, if I'm right and this is a place to chill out when ttc all gets too stressful then count me in. We've been trying 2yrs for no1 with no joy (dur - otherwise I wouldn't be on conception!). Sometimes I'm at rock bottom over it all and sometimes I try to be a bit more chilled. Sometimes I even get philosophical about it all. In the last week I've been through all these emotions at least once

PS does this sanctuary offer any nice treatments? I could so do with some pampering right now...

Damn computer - I didn't mean to post that twice!

Hi nomore- hope you are ok! Sorry to see you are still here. But glad cos I am too!!

Have had a bit of a rough time lately- feel down and pants. Trying really hard to be positive but cant TBH

Oh (((ammy))) love, you poor thing
Nice to see you back (IYKWIM? ) hopefully we won't be here all that long. How are you anyway you old married?

Hi nomore - wasn't following, honest! Saw this conversation come up in Active conversations (at work, don't know which of the 10 jobs to do next so putting them all off).

I'm ttc#2 - nearly 2 years now. #1 took 6 years and a lot of heartache, and 2 mc since then.

Dh's colleague at work has just had arrival of new baby (this morning) - unplanned, not really on the agenda for several years... Although I am pleased for them, always seems so unfair that there are so many of us desperately wanting a child - whether #1, #2, or #3 or more - and there are other people out there who just have them 'dropped in their laps' as it were when they hadn't been trying or particularly wanting them...

Married life is perfect I'm soo happy its untrue- he really is my best mate.

Over Christmas though a close relative announced a pregnancy and I went to pot! I've even started saying to people that 'I've got my hands full with olivia, let alone anymore!!' just to make myself feel better. Its daft really cos although its been a year since I had my coil out, we have only been REALLY REALLY trying since August but I just feel as though no matter what I do- sex at the right time, legs in the air, OPK's, cough medicine, EPO, AC- nothing happens. I thought it would happen if I worked hard at it

So many people are pregnant and I just cant help thinking 'why them? how did they get lucky?' I hope it does happen- I know it will happen, I just didnt think it would be this hard and make me feel soooo awful.

However, on a positive note- started acupuncture last week and that was luuurvely, DH has self referred and gone to have sperm analysis done today and bought a spell off ebay which I am very very positive about

How are you flower?? Is all ok with you?? Hope you are not as miserable as me!!

PS - nomore

Mistlethrush- you really have been through the mill! Did you have intervention to get DS? hope you dont mind me asking 6 years is a long time. You must be a strong person, whether you feel it or not!

Oh yes, I remember that - sobbing to DH that someone else had "taken all the baby-luck" for that month. It's so hard though to have friends going on and on about how they conceived first time and then bragging about it a bit and how their DH must be a real stud, nudge nudge, wink wink. They didn't know that we had problems (male factor) so they weren't being nasty. Even so...
Now we're getting organised for more treatment. The chances aren't great for us, and we're going private again, so it'll be expensive. I don't want to wake up in 5 year's time though and wish we'd at least given it a try.

mummy2olivia (I will try to use your 'real' name - I still think of you as ammy though)
Your DH sounds lovely - I'm glad you're so happy with him I fully endorse married life - it's great
I know what you ( and MT ) mean about other people's pregnancies - esp those who weren't ttc or who 'just decided' to stop preventing it, they'll never understand how deperately some of us are longing for what they've had 'dropped in their laps'.

Hi all

I have two friends in RL who are in the same boat as me. We all thought we'd be PG by now, and that it would be so easy. Who were we kidding? Am very jealous of another friend in RL who got PG while on the pill not long after meeting her DP. Her DD is absolutely adorable and whenever I see her I get even broodier. Love seeing her though and can't begrudge my friend.

For some reason this not being pregnant situation is always worse when I have a bad day at work. I can't help thinking to myself that it wouldn't be so bad if I was PG because I'd know there'd be a light at the end of the tunnel and maternity leave to look forward to

mummy2olivia, what's this about cough medicine? I have "bird 'flu" at the moment but have been avoiding taking anything in case we're in the early stages of bean development. Can cough medicine help? If so, which one?

Have just posted this on another thread..
Something I tell myself (far too often ) It's not a case of only X number of babies get handed out each year, just because someone else is pg they're not taking anything away from you even if it does feel like a kick in the gut (often literally)

We've been at the top of the NHS IVF list twice - and had the appointment to set the precise day that treatment was to start, and each time I conceived naturally just before. 1st time miscarried at 10weeks - whilst on holiday - hospital did not follow up to say that I needed tests to ensure that all was OK - took 3 months and a lot of visits to GP before I was taken seriously and got referred for a scan - 2nd D&C that day - two weeks later I was carted off to Sheffield for chemo to deal with molar pregnancy.

After treatment (oh, btw, last injection of chemo was on edd which was really gutting) we had to leave it a year before trying again - consultant gave us 6months before IVF and it worked. I didn't really believe that it would happen until I actually had ds in my arms!

We had a set back on ttc #2 autumn 06 when it took a long time to get back to normal after mc - 3 months of being paranoid that molar pregnancy had reoccured - this put dh off cooperating for quite some time, so not surprising that no bfp until autumn last year - but early mc on that too - this time at least things got back to normal much more quickly at least. So, this is our first month back to ttc after that.

Don't care what sex - just want another baby! It was really interesting - when I originally wanted a child I would have liked a girl, but when I got pregnant, particularly further on, it didn't matter as long as it was OK - and, as we were both totally in agreement on a name for a boy, it was really nice to say hello x when he arrived...

glastochick I know what you mean about wrk - I often sit there thinking "I shouldn't be here - I should be on maternity leave at home with a baby" (on a really bad day I think "on ML expecting no2") I am often floored by an overwhelming feeling of "this is not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life"

Glastogirl- A cough med containing guaifenisin around the time of OV can make hostile CM nice and watery for sperm to swim through. Its meant to be very effective.

This month I used EPO and cough med plus legs in the air BUT i had OV pains and EWCM on CD10 which is odd for me (normally CD14/15) and had accupuncture the next day. A few niggles that day but nothing else. Normally my libido drops through the floor after OV but nothing at all. still feel randy . I think the accupuncture may have knocked my cycle off and just when I was gonna lay an egg, it got stage fright and went back (!) and this may have been an anov cycle. So much for all the hard work and horrible cough med!!

nomore- You can call me ammy thats fine

We have to think positive- apparently if you tell yourself it will never happen, your body is tricked into your way of thinking.

I hear you magnolia. Yesterday I decided that to avoid coming back to work for too long after maternity leave ending we should TTC #2 as soon as possible. I get a 'return to work' bonus if I come back for 6 months, which I could do if a couple of months later I swanned off on maternity leave with DC2 . However, getting DC1 would be a start!

I'm also not doing what I'd like to be doing. I fell into the industry I'm in because I just needed a job after finishing education, and the role I'm in now has been a progression from where I started out. I'd really like to be pottering around on a small holding with children getting under my feet and rescued animals to look after!

stage fright
Hopefully the accupuncture will help you, and the positive thinking You go girl!!

I've moved jobs twice since starting ttc - and I had stayed in my original job longer as the maternity benefits were good, so I know what you mean nomore. The really silly thing is that I conceived in between handing my notice in for my last job and starting where I am now - not ideal. At least the current company did not play it by the rules in terms of the number of weeks - otherwise we'd have been even worse off financially. Although I was quite upfront with them at my interview - I said that we were trying and that it would be my intention to reduce my hours to 3 days per week - which I did for a year - now up to 4, but only 3.5 days nursery.

But nomore, Ds was definitely worth waiting for - I hope that you'll feel the same one day (I'm sure that you'll feel the same one day!)