The TTC Sanctuary - Let's Talk About TTC... the ups, the downs, the fantasy shopping list that is getting bigger even though our tummies aren't...

[BobHoskins]

It doesn't matter about which bracket you fit into... you can be trying for your first, or third, have been trying 6 months of 6 years, have PCOS, been on clomid, never been on the pill, IUI, IVF, suffered a lot, or only a little - let's all come together to hope, to dream, to wish and chat with like-minded people.

The only thing I ask... please no gender preference method swapping. Pretty please.

Other than that... let's get going... It's good to talk

Sarah, your DP's brother's partner sounds horrendous!! Welcome to the thread... I am with you on everything you have said. I am always feeling jealous, and I hate myself for it - but 19 cycles of failure (well 18, soon to be 19) make you feel a range of emotions that are not normal behaviour.

Thanks Ready, always good to know I'm not alone with the green-eyed monster.

My future BIL and SIL were actually trying to get pregnant for 1-2 years....by 'trying' I think they mean they weren't using contraception. Of course, when they broke the news to DP's parents, they said it was an accident. DP's dad would go ballistic if he knew they were trying. He phoned up DP and said 'Next time you speak to your brother, explain the bird and the bees to him; he reckons he don't know how it happened!'. DP's parents really don't like future SIL, but I suppose now they figure they're stuck with her, as they also announced their wedding plans at same time as pregnancy. Again, they were already planning it but didn't tell DP's parents because of expected bad reaction.

Fortunately, our engagement announcement was a bit better received Oh I'm such a b*tch for enjoying being the better future DIL!

Sarah - I can commiserate - Bil announced the autumn when we started ttc in the early summer that they were expecting - then announced that they were going to get married in May. They'd had 2nd before we managed 1st. And neither of them has a 'proper' (as in permanent, reliable) job (very 'artistic'). A bit smug now though as our ds eats everything and has lovely teeth whilst neither of their dds has a wide diet and one of them (the youngest) has awful teeth.

Ready - I really recommend one of these:

www.bumpto3.com/product.aspx?DISPLAYCAT=sleep&CAT=Products&CATGRY=baby_sleeping_bags&PID=AA1295&VID= AA1483

we used particularly when travelling at night (the best time when they are a little older as they just go to sleep as normal (bliss!)) as you can literally take them out of the car seat and put them down in their cot.

Essentials: body suits and vests, nappies of some kind, perhaps a jacket/jumper; hat; mittens; booties.
Change mat or equivalent; cotton wool and water (we used this almost all the time)

Somewhere for sleeping - plus blankets, sheets or grobags etc

Car seat if you intend to go by car

Buggy that lies flat

Very helpful: baby gym - ds used from about 8wks - get one where you can change the toy, its location and height so that you can position it where your baby is thrashing to start with, but gradually move it so that they have to aim to get it. Idealy have a toy on it with a mirror, and some with some bells or something.

bouncy seat - great for daytime naps etc, also being able to see more of what's happening (particularly if you put them on the kitchen table bad mummy alert !!!!!)

Baby monitor - good for peace of mind although we never used until 6mo as ds in room with us.

Will think of some more soon.

Hi,
I love the list of essentials, wierdly it has got me excited and a little less down in the dumps, how strange i must be to like thinking about something that might not happen. The lady next door has got a 7mth old and she always looks really tired and she is never without him. Is it a major transition to have a mini me with you 24/7, how did you cope with that? I soooooooooo want kids in my life but i am also really scared too. I think its because we get so much time to dwell on it and other people it happenes to straight away dont get that time to think about stuff...........too much!
sarah you are defo not alone, my BIL has a beautiful 3yo, i always say she should have been mine, he is an alcoholic and the girl has never worked in her life. Last year a cup of tea was spilt on her and she was badly scalded, i sooo wanted to take her away to live with us, things dont seem fair,it all happenes for a reason i suppose, its just hard to take isnt it.

Viksam - save the list for use at a later date - hopefully sooner rather than later though. I know what you mean - I feel the same when I see teenagers pushing children inappropriately dressed for the weather round town, with the child given a packet of crisps and the mother smoking. Have just about managed to restrain myself, but sometimes...

yep i know, its really hard, i always think 'i would never do things like that' I worked with a lad who had a kid with his young girlfriend, she brought the kid into work one day eating a bag of chips, i said 'oh, was she hungry'she said 'no her hands were cold'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! really, thats just laughable isnt it. I had to restrain myself in a big way with that one, i wanted to say'ever heard of gloves love'????
My first clomid tomorrow, then off on holiday in a week and a half.......Wouldnt it be wierd if i got lucky on holiday like those sickening stories you hear all the time!!