9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

@Decaffe I am so sorry to hear that, it's so so frustrating. I think it's a super personal choice and there's no right or wrong answer but if it helps at all I would have it on CD17 to get it done soon but without spending £550 as that is a lot of money. I get that not trying for a month is guy wrenching though. I am going to have to not try next cycle and it makes me feel sick every time I think of it. I suppose it depends how much £550 means to you, and how painful you'll find skipping a cycle. I paid £500 for mine and I'm v glad I did but the wait for me would have been a year. When do you need to decide by?

@Decaffe oh this is really tricky. If you can afford it and the money doesn't affect you much then I would pay for it privately. If it does really impact your savings and cause money stress I would go for the 17th. I personally wouldn't risk the wait of a potential clinic matching in March, would give me anxiety waiting longer but that's just me. Hope you are ok, sending positive vibes ❤️

Evening everyone, sorry it's me again! I always have 26-27 day cycles and today is day 29, no spotting at all but only negative tests. I always spot at some point on run up to period. Really got my hopes up but feel crushed with two bfns. Guess it's not a huge shock after so long trying but still hard not to be disappointed :-/ no idea what my body is doing this cycle.

Welcome @Peonies94 @NatW2021 @Indianna2006 sorry if I’ve forgot anyone else I’m am struggling to keep up with the messages! Haha 😂 I love this group but part of me always feels sorta anxious about looking at it as I’m trying to not focus on trying for a baby atm. But at same time I like to see how everyone else is doing and any advice etc. I’m watching a reality program where two women who have just got out of prison have both got pregnant like first try…it makes me SO mad. Silly I know.
Not sure who was talking about seed cycling and castor oil packs but I tried for a little bit a gave up - do you think it works?
My periods are so light too after being on pill from 16-32. that does worry me but doctors say it’s not an issue…

@Pineappletarts I know the feeling as I’m sure we all do, and hope you’re ok ❤️ It’s so hard isn’t it.

@Pineappletarts
Its so cruel isnt it - i am due AF on Tuesday, bfns and pms kicking in i really hate this time of my cycle just waiting for AF then back to square one and starting the whole thing all over again

@LucyAnne34 - i started seed cycling this month, its been pretty easy as i just incorporate into my meals/smoothies. I am trying to eat healthier but so hard!

My periods are also very light and its that the set me on the path of accupunture and blood tests. I paid for a private ultrasound two weeks ago to check my lining and all was normal so put my mind at ease so might be worth it if you haven't already had one

Thanks @LucyAnne34 and @NatW2021 yeah it is utterly crap. I never have this long a cycle and have felt crampy for days. It's so hard to ignore your own body too 😂 Good luck to you both too x

@NatW2021 I started doing seed cycling at same time as slimming world haha nuts = syns haha. So I thought I’ll be fine I’m sure there’s nothing wrong! But I would deffo try again if there was an issue. I’ve had an internal ultrasound but not sure if that would pick up thickness of lining specifically…they didn’t say anyway! But I will mention it to my consultant next time I have an appointment. It’s deffo all about peace of mind isn’t it x

@LucyAnne34 - yes thats something they check during an internal ultrasound i am sure they would of highlighted it if it wasn't as it should be so i am sure it will be fine.

With regards to the seed cycling i think i am just trying every trick in the book but everything i do/try doesn't any difference so in sure ill get fed up. X

@NatW2021 I just had my consultation for IVF today and found out about FSH; so basically (and forgive me if you know this I didn’t), FSH is the hormone your brain releases to help one egg grow (you release up to 1000 a month and only one is chosen). Your body is smart and doesn’t want you to end up with 1000 babies at once (but one would be good right?! Sorry for the aside!!). Anyway so your body releases just the right amount for one egg. Mine is 7.4 and I’m 35 and apparently that’s good but from what I understood today so is yours so don’t worry. FSH is the drug I’ll be injecting to get more of mine to mature in one month for retrieval. Anyways I hope that helps some.

@Decaffe urgh that’s so frustrating - I feel like I’d go for option c but do what you think is best of course and good luck - I feel your frustration the waiting and messing and being knocked off course is horrid!

@Pineappletarts are you tracking ovulation? I know a couple of times for me I ovulated late and for a later period (also a super regular 26/7 dayer) so perhaps that could be it but it’s gutting isn’t it, sorry it’s happening

Hi everyone, yes AF showed up this morning. I guess the only plus side is no spotting this month so will keep going with vit c and my iron supplements I think. I am feeling really quite depressed today tho, some days it's harder than others to pick yourself up. Take care ❤️

@Carla2601

Glad to hear your FSH is good, did they say what the normal limit is? I am worrying i am 34 and it seems on the higher end of normal for my age at 8.9 and worrying the number will keep increasing which wouldn't be great if i had to down the ivf route. X

Thank you so much for giving me advice on my three options yesterday. I called some local private clinics and either a) they had stopped offering HSG and only offer HyCoSy (which I don’t want), or b) the only appointment slots they could offer me were after ovulation anyway.

I think rolling the dice that the clinic days will align with pre-ovulation days next month is too risky and so in the interests of expediency, I have decided to go for the NHS HSG on Day 17 and simply accept that we will not be able to TTC this month. I intend to have all the alcohol, all the essential oils in my baths, and all my favourite strong coffee over the next four weeks!

@NatW2021 yep they said just under 10 and he honestly barely looked he just checked normal and said fine you’re all good. I don’t think they worry too much if everything is normal some will be higher than others and different months will be slightly different. I was literally just 35 (as in it was 4 days after my birthday) when I had mine and ours are fairly similar if that puts your mind at rest.

@Pineappletarts I’m sorry, it’s awful, I hope you’ve managed to have a restful day and you’re being well looked after at home x

@Decaffe great that you've made a decision. Like I said I don't think there's a right or wrong and you just need to work out which is the best option for you so good on you for doing that and finding a way forward. And brilliant thanks you can see a silver lining with getting all the alcohol in! Can I ask why you don't want a hycosy?

@Pineappletarts so sorry about AF. It's so shit. Hope you're okay. Sending love to you ❤️

Hi all 👋

Wondering if I can join. I have been on the other boards on and off for a while, but recently took a MN break.

Currently on cycle 10 TTC number 1. I'm 33 and DH is 38.

This is the second cycle where we have supplemented normal DTD with at home insemination. We was both finding the pressure of DTD a lot too much. All the other boards were making me feel so low because everyone was having loads of sex and we just weren't managing that much!! It was causing us to have arguments too.

I tracked my cycles for about a year and know I roughly ovulate between CD 12 and 15 (27 day cycle) so now I am not doing any tracking either.

We DTD around CDs 12/13 and then in the lead up to and days after we do at home insemination. This way we will never know how we conceived. It has taken SO much pressure off us, and I'm hoping this will give us a better chance.

We have never had a BFP. If we don't have any luck by April we are going to pay for some private tests.

I relate so much to a lot of the emotions on here.

I hope we all get our BFPs soon ✨

@Decaffe glad you've made a decision. When would your HSG fall? We may be having it around the same sort of time. Mine will fall on the 2nd March (if AF comes on time). Was there a particular reason you didn't want a hycosy? I thought they were the same procedure but one uses X-Ray vs ultrasound?

My BBT temps are on a downward trend now, so I think AF is on the way. I think I knew that with my thin lining, nothing can really implant there. I've started swimming and yoga, to hopefully help with that. Also have acupuncture on Friday. I had a blood test for AMH over the weekend, won't get results until the follow up appointment with the gynaecologist.

@lemons44 welcome to the group. How did you find the home insemination? Was it quite straightforward? I'm glad it's taken the pressure off you. I know what you mean. Sex becomes such a chore in the FW and we are knackered by the end of it and I'm always glad when FW is over and that's when I can relax. It's really not romantic. Can't wait to get TTC out of the way, so we can go back to DTD for fun and not see it as a chore.

@Tinkerbell098 - My bbt has been on the decline too - i sometimes think bbt is a bit depressing as i have been doing it awhile now i sort of know early on that i am not pregnant as i see the same pattern month after month which causes me to accept defeat then just waiting round for AF. AF due tomorrow. Hope the yoga and swimming is going well i need to try something new to give me a new focus.

I must say though this month this is the first month (other than at the start) that i haven't felt depressed and cried. I don't know if i am just getting used to the disappointment and just more accepting of the situation, or that i feel more reassured after my US scan was ok and DH semen analysis all good so just glad i dont feel the usual period depression.

@lemons44 - welcome 😊 this is a really great forum i have found it so useful to hear other peoples experiences and get my thoughts out there.

We to have struggled with lots of sex over the FW i think we manage peak and ovulation day and thats it, i wish we could do more but its hard going and on cycles were we did manage more it didn't result in a BFP.

Hello ladies, I thought I would just check back into this thread and see how you are all getting on and say 'hello' - hope you don't mind! Welcome to the new joiners - if it helps to provide any reassurance, I was on this thread for several months, exactly the same feelings and anxieties as you are all feeling - had various tests, nothing particularly showing except for low sperm morphology and then unexpectedly got a BFP after 14months of nothing - so I promise you it does happen!

@Carla2601 huge good luck on your IVF process - it's such a huge thing but I hope it goes smoothly and results in that baby. Look after yourself as you go through it ❤️

@Decaffe - I hope you get a HSG or Hycosy next cycle. Just putting a positive word on for the Hycosy - I had one in Dec, had a positive experience and got a BFP in Jan. My understanding is its an extremely similar procedure to HSG, but you might have your reasons for preferring one of course!

All going well with me. I have pretty bad nausea but I am no way complaining. I am 6w4, and have my first midwife 'booking Appointment' on phone today.

I still check back here and am seriously rooting for you all.

@NatW2021 could I ask you how many days before AF appears does your BBT drop? Is it quite a sharp drop or does it go down gradually until it drops below the coverline? It's the first month I'm tracking BBT and I've noticed the temps are going down by about 0.02-0.03 each day.

@Tinkerbell098

I have attached this months chart - temps tend to peak around day 6-8 then start declining then stay around the same for a few days then drops day before or day of AF. AF due any moment now 😞 and my temp dropped below cover line which deffo tells me she is coming. If you are pregnant its supposed to stay high and i have the same patterns each month so thats what i meant by sort of knowing around day 8-10 that im out! Sometimes i want to stop it as i just sort of feel out before even testing but i suppose i can just accept and get on with it rather than build myself up. X

@kmbegs thanks for the podcast!

@Decaffe I'm so sorry you are in this situation! It's so annoying when you're trying to do everything right and then something happens that you've got no control over. I wish next cycle will be a lucky one for you x

Thanks @Tinkerbell098 and @NatW2021 for the welcome!

We are finding home insemination very easy, although it was weird at first and I think we both felt a bit awkward to start with. We have a good routine going now, although it isn't the most romantic! 😂

Basically DH gets home and goes for a shower whilst I am making a start on dinner. He does his thing in a cup and syringes it up, then leaves it in the bedroom and jumps in the shower.

I run up and basically syringe it in and then pop a ferilily cup in to keep it all up there and then go downstairs and carry on as normal 🤷🏻‍♀️

This has really taken that pressure off. No idea if it will work but we remain hopeful! 🤞🏼 this will be our second cycle trying this method and I'm about 1DPO today (not tracking so not 100% sure).

Thank you @Aubyone - I actually recognise your username from some older threads. I'm glad you got your BFP 🎉

@NatW2021 thanks for sharing your chart. Yes, mine is doing something similar at the minute, although yet to go below the coverline, but AF isn't due for another 4 days, so I think it'll drop right down in the next couple of days. I haven't got another chart to compare as this is the first month I'm doing it. I can see how it gets depressing when you see the drop, but at the same time I feel like it's a little heads up and sort of slowly prepares you for it.

@lemons44 sounds like you have a good routine going and glad it's taken the pressure off. It does get very overwhelming after a while. Good luck for this cycle xx