9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

Hey everyone

Apologies for the radio silence for a while. Work has been incredibly stressful, our house is on the market which is incredibly stressful, and I'm still not pregnant which is incredibly stressful 😂

Honestly though, I've never felt so stressed in my entire life. DH and I had the biggest argument we've ever had in 4 years and I think it was just loads of little things building up.

I had my appointment with a fertility nutritionist yesterday and I found it really helpful. I'm still waiting for my full write up but in short, she thinks my painful boobs are because of excess oestrogen and the best way to fight this is lots of crustaceous vegetables e.g. broccoli and cauliflower etc.

She also said COQ10 is pointless for someone under 35. It doesn't do any harm but it isn't proven to help, so to cut it out, especially with how expensive it is. She's going to give me a list of supplements I need to take, but it's definitely less than I take now 😂 Also been told to up my dairy intake every day, have powdered nuts on my granola/oats (I hate nuts so can't eat them as a snack) and ensure I get at least 5 portions of vegetables a day.

She recognised I do eat healthily so these are just small tweaks. Apparently in a report by Harvard, 5 small changes can increase your chances of conception by 69%! She did say she has had tonnes of women say they've been affected by the COVID vaccine but she can't recommend anything without the scientific evidence to back it up, which is kinda frustrating on the science side of things.

How's everyone else holding up? I have no idea where I am in my cycle or if I've ovulated as I'm just not checking.

@BritInNZ sorry to hear you’re stressed - id say you’ve done well to get this far without any big arguments, we’ve had our fair share! It’s crap though isn’t it, I think it’s because we come at it from different positions to us (from memory your OH is like mine...irritatingly optimistic 😂).

Nutritionist sounds GREAT! So glad you had such a good experience and thanks for the tips. My SiL is a fertility nutritionist and this is very similar to what she said too. I think the great thing is making the tweaks gives you control and you feel good for it too!

How’s your house sale going? We’re putting ours on next week too

@BritInNZ - sorry to hear things have been stressful, it really does takes its toll sometimes its good to get it all out even though its horrible arguing, hope you have sorted things out.

thank you for the tips really promising to hear that small changes can make a big difference. I too have been speaking with a neutralist its been so helpful and i have made some tweaks so definitely feel like i am empowered and taking control and helping my body.

I am away with work yesterday and today so all the routine is out the window.

Some changes i have been advised:(its over a 3 month period so tend to make 1-2 changes a week)

More protein - eggs/smoothies for breakfast instead of cereal
Reduce bread -but if you do sough-dough is better
Diet fizzing drinks - swap to sparking flavoured water
Drink more water
More vegetables with meals
Tried oat milk instead of diary - actually not so bad in a latte
Stop buying low fat alternatives
Nuts/seeds in meals

Finding it really good - AF just showed up this morning a day late but.first time i am feeling more positive so ill take that even if its just for this month.

@Carla2601 haha yes still very irritatingly optimistic! 'We can't control it so don't worry about it' like it's that easy 😂

Yes it's nice to have a plan after trying literally everything else! Will start some of the options once we've done a food shop.

House sale not so great. The market in NZ has slowed a lot due to lending restrictions. This is preventing first time buyers get onto the ladder and our home is very much a first time buyers house. Just praying we get a decent offer through 😬 good luck with your sale, no doubt it will go better than ours has so far!

Morning all,

The diet recommendations are really useful. I am actually a vegan and sometimes wonder if I am lacking something that my body needs to release good eggs.

Did the fertility nutritionists recommend anything regarding foods that are good for sperm by any chance?

I didn't know about the fizzy drinks.. we do like our diet cans of drink so I will definitely be changing that!

@lemons44

Yes i would drink fizzy drinks on a regular basis and was advised to cut back i find the lemon and line sparkling water really nice.

I haven't really asked anything about sperm quality yet but i think the same things apply, cut out/down on fizzy drinks, limit caffeine, lots of veg (antioxidants)

Just got my DHs SA results back. But I’m a bit confused as morphology isn’t noted anywhere. It was done via NHS.

These are the results:

Sperm Motility 71%
Percent non progressive 8%
Sperm concentration per ml: 213 million
Total sperm count: 489 million

I’m speaking to my Docter on Friday so will try query why there isn’t morphology noted on referall. But seems all his other parameters are very good. So I have NO idea why we are not pregnant still.

🤦🏻‍♀️

@lemons44 she said as we eat together, adding the extra veggies for me will also help husband 😊 the only other thing she recommended for DH was some really good omega 3 and increase intake of oily fish for both of us.

That must be hard when TTC and being vegan. As the major things she mentioned was dairy and fish! Could be worth speaking with a nutritionist to make sure as a vegan, you're still getting everything you need 😊

@Indianna2006 I think morphology was missing off our results too (not that it helps as we're in NZ!) but we were also told DHs results were very good. Have you got any further tests for yourself booked in? These things are hard as you're glad it's all good and then you're immediately wondering why it hasn't happened yet then if everything is working as it should be.

@NatW2021 glad your nutritionist experience is going well too. Hopefully I get that same sense of control and don't have a meltdown when AF arrived next week!

@Indianna2006 - wow really good SA.

I am not massively concerned but then i am at the same time, my DH results were 33.3million per ml so think it was 97milion for whole count, 68% motility and 5% morphology, WHO suggest anything below 15million per mil is low so he is double that but does seem lower than the average, any thoughts?

@BritInNZ - yes definitely feel more positive for making changes, its a hard one as i enjoy my morning coffee and a night out twice a month where i drink what i want but I'm starting to question everything i eat and drink as to the cause for not falling pregnant BUT i think i dint want to give up everything as its hard going enough as it is just got to try my best x

@NatW2021 I have no idea. I think as long as it’s above normal it’s fine. Like 97 million total count is still good!

I did open my DHs and almost laughed because it’s very typical of him. He’s perfect at everything 😂

BUT I’m not pregnant am I..so what is that about. Obv it takes two. So something somewhere is going wrong…

I’m pleased. But makes it frustrating as leaves unanswered questions about me.

@BritInNZ I don’t have anything else booked in for me now. Was awaiting nhs referall. Will see what Docter says when I speak to him Friday.

But after these results. Because there so good…I’m thinking I may pay privately and have my tubes checked.

Hi everyone, just catching up. Welcome to the new people! Great to have you here.

@Indianna2006 my husbands SA came back good as well which was what prompted me to get a private hycosy. Although his numbers weren't quite as good as yours! But it did made me think (like you said) how come I'm not pregnant then? Also there could still be DNA fragmentation, I'm giving it 6 more months and if still nothing we'll do that test.

Thanks for sharing the nutrition tips, definitely something to think about.

@Tinkerbell098 and @NatW2021 do you guys take supplements? I just ask because my temps used to do exactly the same as yours, I would know by about 10DPO that the cycle hadn't worked as temps were plummeting, but since I started the supplements from ISWTE my temps now stay high which I'm guessing is a good thing. Although still no pregnancy so clearly not a miracle worker.

How is everyone getting on? I'm 11DPO on my cycle after the hycosy and my temps are the highest they've ever been by far and appear to just be staying high. Normally they'll slowly get high then once they peak they go back down, this time they got high quickly (37.12 (before this cycle I've never gone above 37)) then dropped to 37.10 then today back up to 37.12. That's never happened to me before and has got my hopes sky high, which is probably silly as it's a pretty minor thing and I've no other symptoms. Tempted to test tomorrow but think I'll keep the hope alive a little longer and avoid what will surely be a BFN. This is my 12th month so even if this cycle hasn't worked I'll be glad to move past the one year mark as it does loom large.

Hope everyone else is keeping their shit together better than me?!

@kmbegs - BBT sounds promising, fingers crossed for you!!

Yes i take supplements, some months it stays higher and doesn't drop but AF comes then other months it drops. My temps past ovulation tend to stay between 36.70-36.90.

I am going to give it two more cycles and go private for Hycosy, i really dont want it but i think thats the last thing to be checked and it does hang over me that something is wrong with my tubes as what else could it be???

I am feeling overwhelmed today some days I'm fine and others i am thinking how long is this going to take???? I found out in work funding for our project is coming to an end next April and instantly thought shit i need to get pregnant if i want to be entitled to maternity pay and what are the chances of them keeping me on if i have to apply for another role if i am pregnant or on mat leave, trying not to stress but it got me thinking when will it hurry up and happen!!!

@BritInNZ thanks for sharing the tips from the nutritionist. That's very helpful. Glad you found it a positive experience.

@kmbegs I'm on crazy amounts of supplements at the minute, and yes taking the key ones in the strengths recommended in ISWTE. I do get a clear temp shift, but it has been on the decline from around 8 dpo (still above the coverline and AF is due tomorrow). This is the first time I've used BBT, so expecting a drop tomorrow on AF day maybe. Very promising about your BBT after hycosy. Fingers crossed it stays high. Have you done a test this morning? When is AF due?

@NatW2021 similar to you, I've been feeling very overwhelmed by all this. Also, a few of my colleagues have handed in notice, which means a lot of the work will be passed on to me. This makes me really want to quit but then sticking around so I won't lose mat pay. It's really frustrating.

OH had a blood test for something unrelated and they've checked his blood testosterone and sex binding hormone globulin which are both lower than reference range. He's due to ring the GP today to review the results, so not sure what impact that has on fertility.

@kmbegs yep exactly that. I’m a bit like well why hasn’t it happened. I thinking of having a private hycosy as I feel like NHS might take a very long time! And not even sure if they will refer us with results like that from DH. Speaking to Dr today so will see what he says.
How much was your private Hycosy? I got a price of £420. But not sure if I need to pay consultation price on top of that. Or just that.
I haven’t had FSH tested yet so could get that done there too. But feel like I’ll leave AMH as unless we actually need IVF not sure it’s entirely relevant.

I’ve tried my best last few cycles to improve my blood flow to my pelvis as feel I have issues with that. I had to take aspirin during my last pregnancy due to clotting issues. And I know some ppl take this prior to BFP to assist blood flow it if can care implantation failure. So I’m trying to look into this and see if it’s a factor for me perhaps.

As ironically after taking supplements to increase blood flow. My last two periods have been much more improved. So I think there could be something to it.

So hard when it’s just unknown with no answers isn’t it.

I’m on cycle 11 so aware could still happen as yet. Fingers crossed for some luck after a hycosy and flushing of tubes for you.

@Tinkerbell098 I feel like me and DH are rattling with amount of supplements we’re taking 😂😂 ridiculous. How people manage one hit wonders on no supplements is beyond me.
But then that was me first time..so not sure what’s happened now 🙈

Just spoke to my GP and he’s referring me for an US now to check my uterus and ovaries to tick that off the list.
I have had one 18 months ago which was fine this was due to other issues I was having at the time. So hopefully nothing has changed in that time.

@Indianna2006 Hey! Glad to hear your GP is referring you for US. My GP is useless really winds me up i have had to push for absolutely everything and even paid private for my endocrinologist appointment as my TSH was to high and they would do nothing about it!

What supplements are you taking fir blood flow? I had an US early this month to check lining due to light periods and everything was fine but i just had my AF and it honestly lasted 1 1/2 days even though my US was fine i still cant get my head round the fact everything is normal, i try to reassure myself the US was fine but it seems strange before the pill i would have 5 day periods,

@NatW2021 sorry if you've already mentioned this. What CD did you have your US and how thick was the lining if you don't mind me asking? They do say that sometimes some of the lining gets absorbed by the body so you won't actually shed it, so you can still have light periods and also have a good lining.

@NatW2021 my GP seems quite proactive which I’m quite glad about as I’d had other GPS before who have been pretty useless!

Did they tell you your measurement of lining on US? I’m not having mine at set part of cycle but have previously before and has no lining issues then. But I’ve had lots of issues with my pelvis and tension and restriction since have my daughter. And that was like 5 years ago.

My periods were like 1 1/5 days as well. Only really one proper day. And I found it came out slowly and wasn’t like a full flow so it was alway brown and just didn’t seem healthy. It didn’t seem like a proper period like I used to get.

I started taking 400iu vitamin E. As is meant to improve uterine blood flow and endometrium lining. And also L carnitine. Anything from 2000mg to 6000mg daily. Again it’s shown to do same action as above. Improves nitric oxide which opens and improves bloods vessels and the flow to the uterus and ovaries. And helps the endometrial lining become more receptive in the preimplantation phase from what study’s have shown. I only take these CD1 to ovulation though. And then I stop them.

Anyway I started that 2 months ago and my first period after doing that for a month before ovulation. My period was heavier. I was shocked and got caught out and leaked out of my tampon. That was 2 days of full flow which was red. And then 2 days of lighter panty liner needed.
Then this second month period just gone again. I had 2 days of proper red flow. And then 3 days of panty liner needed. So I deff feel like it’s benefitting me. As it’s the only things I’ve altered an changed.

Even if it’s not the exact cause. I’m happier with that my period seems more what I’d call “normal”.

@Tinkerbell098 i had it on day 12 and it was 9.8mm. I tend to ovulate on day 12 but on a few occasions its been day 14.

She said it was perfect, when i had the scan she said it looked like i had just ovulated which matched my opk the previous day.

I have warned OH we need to do DTD more this month 😂 we normally do peak and ovulation day but i want to try day before peak as well and every other day from tomorrow (god help us haha)

@Indianna2006

It was 9.8mm on day 12

Thanks foe the supplement info - i usually take 800iu vit e but ran out need to get some more but haven't used L carnitine so will try that aswell 😊

@NatW2021 that does sound perfect to be honest. It's more than double of what mine was on peak OPK day.
Your DTD plan sounds good. I just get exhausted. We tend to stick to every other day from about day 8 of my cycle until day after O. Tend to ovulate on day 17. I'm knackered by the end of it and actually look forward to the TWW.