9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

Hey Ladies - hope everyone is having a lovely weekend.

Sorry to come on and rant but just needed to get it out. I am at a friends little boys christening and just feel so overwhelmed with upset - a lot of old friends of friends have children/babies and just feel like a spare part. Also just cant help but feel like why js it so easy for everyone????

Also bumped into my friends sister in law in the loo, i asked how her wedding prep was going and she said all on hold as shes 12 weeks pregnant - i tried so hard to look happy bur so worried what my face actually looked like as was just like a punch in the stomach.

Trying to hold back the tears z

@NatW2021 I'm so sorry, that sounds like torture!!! Does your friend know you've been TTC for so long? I'm sorry I don't have much words for comfort, just that we all know exactly how you feel and would have struggled just as much. Well done on going in the first place, I'm sure many of us wouldn't/couldn't have gone at all.

@BritInNZ - thank you so much you know when thats all you need to hear, someone who just gets it! It was just constant baby/nursery/comparison talk and i cant help bit think they didn't have to go through everything we all are, i am so envious.

We and hubby moved on now to a nice wine bar so enjoying a nice glass of wine xx

@NatW2021 oh 100%! I've got a baby shower in April and I'm not going because I can't face it. She had an awful time getting pregnant so completely gets it luckily. I hate those conversations - even worse when they moan about their kids. And I'm just there thinking 'I would be so grateful to have kids'.

Enjoy the vino, it sounds very much deserved! My husband did an Iron Man this weekend... his SA was fine but I'm still thinking 'maybe stopping all that training will help our fertility' 😂

@BritInNZ - yes i think you just need to think about your own feelings as i didnt think it would affect me so much yesterday i keep replaying the conversation with my friends sister in law i cant even remember what i said but i know i was awkward and I'm not normally an awkward person!

I am at another christening next Sunday 😫 think next week will be worse as its my main group of friends and everyone one of them has babies and another pregnant. I think i will know by then if AF is coming so god knows what state ill be in and hubby cant make it

Really don't know how much longer i can hack this feeling of being low/sad all the time! X

Thanks @BritInNZ my days have been slowly getting a bit better since then.
@NatW2021 so sorry to hear about the experience at the christening! It’s so horrible isn’t it. We def all know how you feel. I went to a 1 yr olds party yesterday and literally was one of the only ones with no kids. And also had that feeling of ‘why is it so easy for everyone else? Why can’t I do it?’. It truly is soul destroying at times. Hope that glass of wine was giant! ❤️ X

@NatW2021 @BritInNZ @LucyAnne34 sorry you’re all feeling rubbish! It can be awful to have to be around kids things and events when you don’t have one of your own! I’d say most ppl would understand but they don’t unless they’ve been through it.
I had babies everywhere when I Mc my first baby. And baby showers. And I detested it. Really is soul destroying.

Well after a melt down this morning. Crying on the way home from work thinking I don’t know how to keep going. DH reminds me my tests at fertility clinic are next week.

I take a test to put myself out my misery. Look straight away. Negative. Chuck my pre pot.

Look again. And there only a BFP. It’s a faint second line. But for sure a second line.

I’ve got DH to check a 1000 times and looked about 1001 myself!!

😭😭😱 I can’t believe it.

Cycle 11. The only cycle I used the fertilily in the right place high up by my cervix. I’m sure that’s what’s done it!!

@Indianna2006 no way!!! Congrats!!! That’s amazing! I bet you are in disbelief, it’s the best feeling isn’t it.
I used fertilily this month too but think I’m negative (did a test day 28 but still waiting for AF day 32).

@Indianna2006 Congratulations!!!! Omg i bet it just feels amazing to see that second line!! Gives me hope!!

Have you had any symptoms? I am 6/7dpo not had much going on apart from a few boob pains but bbt will tell me more in next day or 2.

Enjoy and congratulations again xx

@Indianna2006 that's amazing!!! Please send a pic of the test!!!

@LucyAnne34 thank you!! I swear by that fertilily. I had to get it real high tho. The other two months I used it I was using it far too low.

@NatW2021 in such disbelief. Was so mad I threw my pee so couldn’t do a second test. Just thought nah negative. And it wasn’t!! Just needed more than 30 seconds to show!
Nope no symptoms really. I took a test 3 days ago 9dpo. And was stark white. Was a FRER too. I never test that early. Was just getting impatient. Then today I am 12dpo.
I was very hot in bed last night. Like having full on melt down sweats. But otherwise feel very normal. But I did with my DD. No sore boobs. Nothing. Same old. Could of sworn my period was coming tomo

@BritInNZ thank you! 🥰

You all got this girls. Keep going.

It’s a line right?! 🙈🙈😭

This is maybe a bit clearer. There hard to photograph tbh! This is 12dpo though. And like I say stark white at 9dpo.

@Indianna2006 Wow. Congrats- that’s amazing! Do you normally get sore boobs before AF? I haven’t had sore boobs at all this cycle and I normally get at least 3-4 days worth and my period is due tomorrow. I think maybe I didn’t ovulate though rather than it being a positive sign!! X

@Indianna2006 awww yes definitely positive! So lovely 🥰 very happy for you!
I push the fertilily as far up as I can but when I pull the thingy it feels like I’m pulling it out! I think I’m being too rough. So I just push it up there and leave it (no idea if it’s in right position but deffo up there!) and when I take it out there’s always lots of sperm in it! (Sorry tmi but think we’re all past that point haha) I’ve also read that a lot of the liquid in sperm is not important so when you see it come out you shouldn’t worry too much.
Again, congrats! 🥰 x

@Hoping43 not normally sore boobs. Normally more sensitive nipples few days before AF. An they tend to just get full and heavy. But that’s the same as they are now. So my boobs are no different as of yet.

@LucyAnne34 ha yes I push it up. Then hold two fingers either side of the cup to invert it whilst I pull the cord so it doesn’t move. once it’s inverted right. I then use two fingers either side of the fertility again where the rim is to push it as back up far as it could go. Then legs up the wall so cervix tilted and it tended to then pop up in the right place.

Seems to have done the trick anyway!! 🥰

@Indianna2006 Thankyou for the tip! I’ll try that tactic haha 🥰

@Indianna2006 wow! congratulations!! I'm amazed that the location of the fertility made all the difference! thanks for letting us know

@Indianna2006 OMG that is AMAAAAAZING news!!! And you don't have to go through the rest of the tests either! Aww you guys must be so so pleased and I'm so happy for you. Please update us on how you get on. Would love to hear!

I'm officially in the TWW. We've managed to DTD 3 times during the FW, less than what I'd have liked, but couldn't do more due to my HSG falling on CD12. I've got my appointment with the consultant on Thursday and had a dream about it last night where my OH didn't turn up to the appointment and they found loads wrong from the HSG! I'm so overthinking this! My BBT hasn't shifted yet, and it does take about 4 days from peak OPK for it to properly shift, so might DTD tonight incase O is late.

Hope everyone is doing well. Baby showers and Christenings are the worst! My best friend's baby is due in two weeks time and they conceived first go, so not looking forward to it. They're due to throw a big party in July and I've told OH that if we are not pregnant by then, I don't want to attend as it would be too hard for me.

@IsabelHerna thank you 🥰🥰

@Tinkerbell098 I know I now need to call the clinic and cancel all the tests and try get a refund! So typical. I may only get some money back but I don’t really care either way. Just relieved we’ve got pregnant! 🥰

Bless you! We only DTD 3 times in FW too. CD10,CD12 and CD13. I ovulated late CD13 so one of those was the lucky winner.

Fingers crossed for you! That you may have some post HCG luck! Get another DTD in 🤞🏼🤞🏼

@Indianna2006 - i might give fertility ago - sorry for TMI but i am actually starting to think if anything is getting into my cervix, every time i have had a smear the nurse has struggled to locate my cervix (apart from one very old school nurse who has now retired) does make me think? This month i did the legs in the air even though i read it doesn't make a difference but who cares willing to try!

My BBT dropped near cover line this is morning which is odd (being positive could it be implantation??logical head says no, isnt it just exhausting!

@Tinkerbell098 - when is your HSG? Totally dont blame you i am starting to dred any social occasion now with my friends (i know thats so sad) but all it is pregnancy/baby talk and i get chocked up just thinking about how ill cope in that situation x

@NatW2021 I also have trouble with my cervix. Have used the fertilily for about 4 months now, but I'm convinced I'm not using it properly as it always slides/moves/dislodges and never seems to have any suction like what everyone else describes. What dpo are you? BBT dropping can mean implantation provided nothing else changed in your sleep patterns or room conditions.
My HSG was last week Wednesday :)

@Tinkerbell098 - i just dont think it would work for me either so dont know if its worth bothering - when i had my scan all seemed straightforward does that indicate anything? she easy able too see my uterus etc?

I am either 7 or 8dpo i had a positive opk last Sunday i usually ovulate the following day but bbt Didnt pick up till Wednesday. I have attached my chart

How did the HSG go? X

@Tinkerbell098 that was my chart from last month not sure what happened there - this is this months x

@NatW2021 that's very strange, if it goes up again from tomorrow onwards, it might be something. 7 dpo seems about right for an implantation dip, so fingers crossed for you!
HSG was better than I thought, was very painful when the catheter was pushed in (although probably not the worst pain I've been through), but didn't last that long. It was actually over before I knew it. It really helped that the doctor and the two nurses were really nice and kind and held my hand throughout. I won't get the result until this Thursday at the follow up appointment with my gynaecologist.

Hi ladies, wondering if I can join? I've been reading the thread here and there from a distance but now onto cycle 8 TTC #2 and we have recently diagnosed MFI so it is likely I will be trying for quite a while longer, and need a support group so I don't drive myself crazy! I have been on another thread with @Indianna2006 and @FlyOnTheWall89 but makes sense to join here now!

A little background - DD was conceived first try 3 and a bit years ago (didn't realise how lucky I was). After 6/7 months trying for number two we got some tests including a SA for DH which showed v low motility. He saw Dr Ramsey in London last week who diagnosed a 'monster' varicocele and basically said this is probably why nothing is happening, as the sperm is getting too hot. It's a waiting game now for him to have a scan, follow up app, and then book in an operation. Then another 3-6 months wait after op to see if it's improved his sperm. Feel so sad at how long it may all take.

I really resonate with all your frustrations at seeing others either pregnant or with babies. It definitely seems so easy for so many people. I know I am so lucky to have DD but am so desperate to give her a sibling!

I will do some proper catching up on the thread now. I had a hycosy last month (before we found out about the varicocele) so hoping it does something but also know it probably won't in my case.