9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

And I wasn’t disagreeing with Carla, just what I’d been told that’s all 🙂

@Tinkerbell098 let us know how the HSG goes!

@Tinkerbell098 GOOD LUCK! Let us know how you go x

@LucyAnne34 oh I didn’t think you were. They should be basing it off average cycle length….though appreciate that’s not always easy for everyone as some cycles don’t have average lengths (but I agree most GPs aren’t experts in this area)

@FlyOnTheWall89 @Carla2601 @BritInNZ thanks girls I’m back from my HSG. Honestly it went better than I expected. Felt pain when they inserted the catheter but it was over before I knew it. They didn’t give me the results there and then though and said my consultant will review with me next week. Said he’ll have to have a close look at my left tube but said no major concerns. Now I want to know what’s wrong with my left tube!

@Tinkerbell098 well done you! That sounds really positive (although I’d also only have heard close look) but great to know there’s no major issues with your tubes for sure. Hope you’re feeling some relief (although I know how bittersweet it is when you’re wanting an answer and it’s not coming but then you’re also happy it’s not something bad)

@Tinkerbell098 glad everything went well. Did you pay privately for the HSG?

Yay well done @Tinkerbell098 - so great to tick that box!

I got my letter through to confirm I get 1 IVF cycle with a fresh and frozen transfer and 1 year embryo storage. Next appointment is the 12 March - also on the telephone. The letter confirms the funding is valid for 12 months so it is great to have that waiting and in the meantime, the urologist can check for a varicocele and generally give some advice to see if it's worth trying for a 4/5 months more.

I'm in my FW now so I'm trying Ferti Lily this month, just for another thing to try.

Xx

@Carla2601 thanks the doctor and the two assistants were really nice which helped loads. I was squeezing one of their hands bless her! I’m always skeptical when they hesitate to give the results then and there as it always seems like something is wrong. And also as he mentioned he needs to look at the left tube more and write a report, it’s playing at the back of my mind now. Hope whatever it is would have gotten cleared by the dye. That’s my only hope.

@Hoping43 thanks! Yes we went private last month as have been waiting 6 months for an appointment from the nhs and gp said the wait is one year. I’ve got a follow up appointment with the private consultant next week.

@FlyOnTheWall89 thanks yes I’m glad it’s out of the way. Really good news about the funding and great you’ve got a bit of time to decide when you’d like to proceed. I’ve been using the fertilily for a few months now. I don’t think I’m using it right though. I must have a odd shaped vagina as it slips when I push it in and invert it. It’s better than nothing though! I’ve also used something called a two plus sperm guide which works better and stays in place. More expensive though but I’m willing to try anything at this point.

@FlyOnTheWall89 - really pleased to hear your funding letter come through- that was really quick wasn't it?

@Tinkerbell098 - glad to hear all went well, hopefully all is well but i know what you mean about worrying. I cant get it out my head that there is something wrong with my fallopian tubes as thats the only thing i have nit had checked. I am going to give it this cycle and next then go if still not pregnant as i cant stop thinking about it.

I am 2 or 3dpo now - i had a positive opk sunday and pains sunday/monday but my bbt didn't rise till wednesday so my chart is saying likely ovulated tuesday which is annoying as didnt DTD tuesday as well tired of it after the weekend! It was a real chore this month.

@FlyOnTheWall89 great news about the funding! That has been quite quick. When is your appointment with Dr Ramsey?

@Tinkerbell098 glad your HSG went well. Hmm yes I’d be same like what is it about left tube. But in general if it didn’t seem blocked that’s a positive. Annoying he couldn’t tell you there and then though! I also looked at the two plus sperm guide thing. I have been using fertilily tho. But not properly an only here and there. Use it properly in right place this month so will see if that produces any results.

@NatW2021 it’s so hard once you get further in to try keep it fun and not pressured when dtd! We’ve been a bit more casually about it as doing it everyday made no difference. So we’ve stuck to every other now and then once more on day I feel ovulation.

I had my bloods done yesterday at the private clinic and my Ultrasound scan Hycosy is booked for 17th March. So 2 weeks time. And I will get all results back of bloods all at same appointment and consultation will discuss my results. So I’m glad that part is now underway

@NatW2021 thanks. Yes, definitely worth getting it checked, but hope you won't have to and this is your month fingers crossed! My BBT doesn't usually rise for 4 days after a positive OPK, I think sometimes BBT rises 2 days after ovulation and also you can ovulate up to 48 hours after positive OPK, so it's a little hard to pin point when actual O day is in my opinion. It depends on the person though, so what works for someone doesn't always work for the other. I get what you mean about it feeling like a chore. I'm usually glad when FW is over and get a two week rest! We just stick to every two days until I get a temp shift as it gets too much if not.

@Indianna2006 yes a little annoying, but I guess I'll get to know next week. I'd be frustrated if the next appointment was a few weeks away. That's what I like about going private, everything seems to move pretty fast. Good luck with the fertilily this month and not too long to wait until you get all your results. Looks like we'll both get some answers this month xx

@Tinkerbell098 - yes definitely will go for it if things haven't changed. My bbt normally rises the day after ovulation, i am thinking maybe i ovulated later in the evening which could mean it took awhile for temp to rise. I am just more annoyed we dtd on ovulation day but did it 3 days on the run and it was hard going. Hopefully we wont have to 🙏🤞 but next month going to do every other day.

@Tinkerbell098 do you mind me asking how much you paid for the HSG and was there a specific reason you had it? I think I want to have one but nobody has suggested it yet and obviously I would rather have it through the NHS so we don’t want to pay but not sure they will pursue it. But I had a c section with my last baby and that and age are the only two things that have changed x

@NatW2021 I think I've heard that you're most fertile days leading up to O day rather than O day itself, so fingers crossed you've done enough!

@Hoping43 not at all. It was £440 at my clinic. There was no reason other than it being for investigation purposes as I have had all other tests done which came back normal. We have been trying for 15 months now for baby number 1, so assume there's something wrong and it was a tick box exercise. I'm in search for answers and haven't had any help or guidance from the NHS so far, so went private and was referred for HSG by the private consultant. I think it's a pretty standard test they do for diagnostic purposes.

@Tinkerbell098 thanks. We are looking into going private for a second opinion but looking at their price list, the hycosy is £475 but the HSG is £1700! X

@Hoping43 that's such a big difference... I had no idea there even was much difference.

@Indianna2006 super quick. We are seeing Dr Ramsay at the beginning of April so we will just keep the IVF ball rolling and see what he says in April. X

@Tinkerbell098 I’m glad your HSG went well! I’m still waiting for my results :( I’ve just written a complaint out about the hospital -

“Called Mr Skulls secretary however she wasn’t in so this was answered by the staff on the ward. I explained I was chasing up my follow up with Mr Skull and they put me through to the appointment bookings team. The lady answered and I explained again I was waiting for my follow up appointment for my tests results. She checked the system and said I was on a list however I hadn’t been given an appointment yet and there was a 6 week waiting list. I explained I had already waited nearly 8 weeks and I just need my test results. She reiterated what she had already said about the waiting list being 6 weeks long and there being a backlog. I said this was ridiculous and I was struggling and had already waited nearly 2 months thinking I would be contacted for an appointment at the end of this, as the letter stated. I then got upset as fertility is a very emotive subject for me at the moment, and I struggled to speak. As I started to ask another question and she abruptly said ‘ok then, thanks bye!’ in a rude tone and put the phone down on me. I rang back the number I had initially called and was put through to the manager of the reproductive service who was very lovely and apologised for the lady I had just spoken to. She gave me the complaints procedure and agreed that my query should have been dealt with differently. She told me there was a back log, which I understood, however she would try and speak to Mr Skull as I had already been waiting 2 months for my test results.

I feel people dealing with health care and especially around the subject of fertility when emotions are high, should be compassionate and have empathy for the patient.

I have been in tears for hours, not to mention a negative pregnancy test today too (don’t know if it’s too early but prob not). So it’s been a horrible day so far :(

@Hoping43 that's an enormous price difference, which doesn't really make sense!

@LucyAnne34 that's ridiculous you've had to wait this long. Did they tell you anything on the day of the test or did they say you have to wait for consultant? Glad you managed to write a complaint and hope they get to speak to your doctor to arrange an appointment. I'm sorry you're having a bad day, take care of yourself xx

@Tinkerbell098 Thankyou 💕 yes the lady that did it said the dye came out of my tubes however that doesn’t necessarily mean there isn’t a problem and the consultant needs to properly assess the results. So they told me 6-8 weeks. I should also have a follow up in general with him to talk about next steps. So I guess I just have to wait 😞 xx

@LucyAnne34 - i am so sorry to hear your experience today it really angers me the way you are expected to wait weeks/months for results, surely they should get its such a distressing time waiting for results when all could be fine and you didnt have to spend all the time waiting and worrying.

Prior to TTC i have never bothered my GP/NHS but this experience has really opened my eyes to how badly women have to advocate for themselves.

Can you not by law access your medical documents?

You can access your medical records. You have to request them, fill out a form that needs witnessing, provide identification documents and they legally have a calendar month to provide you with them. I just received mine today so we can go private but our NHS appt is less than 4 weeks now so don’t know whether it’s worth going private or waiting to see the outcome of the appt with the NHS consultant x

@NatW2021 Thankyou 💕 I know, I’ve had to push so much through this whole process. Yeah I probably could, but interpreting them may be a different matter haha. To make things worse, next door neighbours seem to have a new born baby over at theirs for some reason so all I could hear for a while was baby cries. Can’t wait for this day to end lol x

@Hoping43 Thankyou , if it came to it I would do this. But I really need to speak to my consultant aswel, I need to know what he thinks and talk everything over. I once checked my own GP records after a test and scared myself to death - then when I spoke to the GP he explained them to me and it was fine. So I feel like I’d cause myself more questions if that makes sense 😞 x

@LucyAnne34 so sorry to hear about your tough today. I hope today was better? It's really tough being pushy for what you want, but if we don't do it nothing would ever get done!

I read a really interesting article today that resonated with me: www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/nicola-alpe-is-fertility-the-new-inequality/GYO2ABQGETLS3GKUHQNIIKCVOE/

It's all about how fertility is the new inequality and it's something I've been thinking about for ages. We're fortunate that we can afford private appointments and HSG etc, but we cannot afford $17k for IVF which I am so angry about. And I was thinking if it's tough financially for us, imagine what it's like for those so much worse off than us?! I guess that's why it always seems to come easy to celebs - they have the funds to do what they want when they want!

Anyway, that's my rant for the day 😂 I'm all good otherwise, not thinking about TTC too much. Our house is sold and we don't have another one to move into yet so we're going to move in with my mother in law... so that will be fun and might put TTC on hold 😂😂