9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

@Indianna2006 - yes i think my left side is the most dominant as dont really feel much from the right.

Who knows - i am on that many new supplements and my thyroid meds could be balancing things out meaning i ovulate a little later which hopefully is a good thing.

Just hard when planning and make it more stressful on the run up.

Interesting to read all these last posts as I always thought it would be super slow with the nhs because they are still have such a big backlog but reassuring the first tests then to still be pretty swift.

I started researching private fertility clinics last night in preparation , I’m a planner so it helps me feel in control on something on this crazy journey , but knowing we can possibly save some money somewhere is a bonus.

I keep trying to tell myself we may not need it as maybe next month will be our month but it’s hard to believe doing the same thing will achieve a different result. I know you lovely ladies will understand where I am coming from

@Tinkerbell098 I don’t think that’s low? Mine is 8 and I’m 35 and they said it was good at my clinic? Who did you speak to?

@BritInNZ I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. Hopefully more investigations will give you more answers - I know we’re in the same boat but moving from unexplained to explained really helps mentally.

@Sweetpeasandpeonies where are you based? I’m in the clinic route in London so happy to help if I can

Small update from me. OH had surgery on Thursday and they managed to retrieve loads of really good quality sperm so we’re pleased about that. Egg retrieval for me starts in about 3 and half weeks. Will keep you posted

@Carla2601 that’s kind of you :) we aren’t going to be booking anything yet as my OH wants to give us another 2 months , but I just wanted to have a provisional look at places in case we go down that route. I’m based in the midlands though

Glad your OH surgery went well and good luck for your egg retrieval!!!

Thanks everyone for the supportive messages, it was a tough few days that's for sure! It gave me a kick up the butt to book my next fertility appointment to sort next steps, so that's now booked in for May. Had a good chat with DH and I had no idea how much it was affecting him too - he said he doesn't show it because he thinks what I'm going through is so much harder but he's finding things tough. It was good to have that conversation as all he ever says is 'oh well, we'll try again next month'.

Now AF is in full swing, it reminded me to say my nutritionist also recommended period undies and a mooncup, rather than tampons and pads. I was a bit nervous using a moon cup but I've honestly found it life changing. I haven't had any cramps while using it and that usually happens every AF! And I can go longer without having to go to the bathroom which is always a bonus. My new pre natal vitamins I got on prescription from the nutritionist are doing wonders too, I feel so much more energised. Hopefully it lasts.

@Carla2601 so glad to hear the op went well and you have egg retrieval around the corner! How crazy that you might be so so close to being pregnant. Must be nice having a timeline and plan in place, although I'm sure you're still worried!!

@Indianna2006 yes there's definitely something going on. Weird that it's only been since my COVID vaccine in October though? My nutritionist said she might order more blood tests, so we'll see what she thinks. But she has said heaps of women are reporting the same thing, so that makes me feel a bit more at ease, even if it doesn't solve the issue.

@FlyOnTheWall89 we haven't looked into a fragmentation test yet, but we had an antibody one which was all good. I think it might be next on the list, but it did take my mum just over a year to fall with me, so I'm really convinced it's something going on my end.

Thanks again ladies, so nice that you all know what I'm going through every time AF turns up! And having people to vent to really helps ❤️

Having a proper low day. Pre AF spotting has arrived bang on time and going to a 1 year olds birthday party and christening today. My OH can’t come with me as he has to work as well so makes it extra hard when the inevitable kids questions come up I won’t have any moral support. Just feeling so fed up

@Sweetpeasandpeonies - hope today goes ok, i will be in the same boat this time in 2 weeks aa DH cant come the christening with me either - i have pregnant friends and friends who have just had babies, i keep trying to think positive that this could be "the month" i am in FW right now so have that hope/positivity attitude going on but dreading the TWW already! X

Hello. Just being frustrated as the clearblue digital did not show Peak to date and its day 16 from my periods. There were very dark blue line but couldn't figure out what does that really mean. Me and my husband were holding back for peak days only. I'm not sure what is wrong here. I test every day first thing in the morning. Any advice would help. Thank you very much.

@Jaania - my fertility monitor has been off the last two months not really detecting highs or if so 1 day then peak.

I got my first high this morning but my opk that i use along side is almost positive - ill do another one later but i am certain today is peak even though monitor says high.

My advice is to use opks along side the monitor - i only really used the monitor to identify high days so i know when to start DTD but its not even showing them anymore 🤷‍♀️

Thanks for your messages all. I'm now really torn between having initial tests through the GP or private.

What worries me is my GP practice is still being a bit rubbish with face to face appointments and what I really want is to sit down and talk to somebody about it, especially as we are doing the home semination too.

We will see if AF arrives this week and then I'll chat to DH.

@Sweetpeasandpeonies sorry to hear you are having a low day. We are very in synch as I am due AF within the next few days and feeling fed up as I think my pre-AF cramps are starting (as well as being on cycle 10 which I think u said u were too).

@Carla2601 I am playing catch up a bit as I'm pretty new to the thread - so are you and OH having IVF? Do you mind me asking how long you were trying before and what kick started the process? I know I'm only on cycle 10 but just have a feeling in my gut that we may end up needing something like an IVF route.

@NatW2021
Thank you for the reply. I actually used the OPK and it is showing the test line darker then the control line. Will see now what happens. May be im ovulating late in the cycle.

@Jaania - the clear blue opk or a cheapie? I use both as the clearblye isnt the best at accurately detecting peak.

@lemons44 not at all ask away. We started trying in June 2020 and had to stop for a bit when OH lost his job (Covid) in October. We started again in Feb 2021. We got tests in October, November and December and to cut a long (and a times somewhat traumatic story short) it turns out that my husband has a missing pipe. Basically when his sperm come through they aren’t protected so they get very acidic and then when they meet the egg they can’t create a healthy pregnancy.

Anyway it’s not great because it can’t be fixed and IVF is always our only ever option (there is zero chance of healthy pregnancy without it) but it’s also sort of good because there’s (as far as we know) nothing off with me, and his sperm is actually great it just gets damaged in transit. For this reason the clinic seem really positive. After almost two years I’m not going to believe it until I see it but I do feel having a reason helps. I don’t have that awful mental turmoil every month anymore because at least I know….even though what I know is a lot to take on, not to mention very expensive haha.

Where are you at? I’m going to share my IVF experience here so everyone’s got an insight if they want it. So far apart from paying an inordinate amount of money for some injections it’s been positive, clinic are nice and helpful etc. we are waiting on nhs too in case this first round doesn’t work but after almost two years and at 35 and a half now we didn’t want to wait any longer

@lemons44 my experience is that the NHS tests are done fairly quickly but the interpretation / consultation side of things is non existent. My partner got really bad SA results which obviously left us incredibly worried and with so many questions. There was no appointment offered. The GP could tell him nothing. I've had no discussion about my blood results either, although they do fall into every 'normal' category. Even with clearly a male factor problem, there has been no referral to a specialist for my partner, it was me as the girl who spoke to the gynaecologist and whilst he said everything with me was normal, he suggested immediate application for IVF funding ... I am sure it varies GP to GP, but I have found this process rests heavily on the woman and until I spoke to the gynaecologist at the fertility clinic I've been relying on the experience of others via MNs etc to work out what to do etc. x

Hello! Do you find if I join please? 13 months ttc, really irregular cycles sometimes up to 90 days! Had a normal length cycle last month so was hoping for the same this month, but that isn’t looking the case! I’ve had very basic tests but they’ve just told me now to try for another 6 months before further investigations! Feeling a bit deflated about that advice, though I understand lots have been trying much longer!

Welcome @Peonies94, but sorry you find yourself here.

That doesn’t sound right as you’ve been trying for over a year (although I think it happens a lot!) - I used to work for a healthcare charity and one thing I learned there was sometimes you have to be pleasantly pushy to get what you’re entitled to. If you’re not happy have you been able to push back at all? Not that you should have to, I just mean don’t feel like you have to accept the answer if you’re not happy with it ☺️

@Carla2601 to be honest it’s been strange but not actually seen a GP at all! First I was referred for bloods, so had them. Was told normal so had scan, told pretty normal and to call GP for results. Had gynae virtual appointment - asked a few questions about ttc and just general stuff, told them about my irregular cycles from 36 to 90 days but that my last cycle was 30 days and regretted telling her this because her reply aas ‘well they’re back to normal now, so I’d still not pregnant in 6 months, go back to GP’ so haven’t actually discussed anything only on 30 second call to GP before sending me for bloods!

@carla thank you☺️

I used boots one and CBFM.

@Peonies94 if I were you I’d call them back and tell them about this cycle and ask for further investigations as you’re over the year mark and see what they say. It’s not right, it’s emotionally draining enough without having to push for what you need but seems like it’s the way it goes a lot sadly.

There might well also be some good threads on here with other people with long cycles who’ve used certain supplements/diets/drugs you might be able to try. I don’t have any experience but I know lots of people will so might be worth a search around

@Carla2601thank you so much for that! I have recently tried some supplements but that’s as far as I’ve gone, and last months was normal, however I’m cycle day 18 and haven’t ovulated or showed signs of ovulation yet, so we’ll see how this goes, but I’ll definitely look into those threads! All the best on your journey too!!

@Peonies94 we’ll all get there I’m sure….not that it feels like that right now! Keep us posted with how you get on

@Carla2601 I know! It seems so far away and only a dream at the moment! How long have you been ttc? Where are you at with it all?

@BritInNZ wow thank you for the info about moon cups, def going to try because I suffer from cramps too

@Peonies94 We started trying in June 2020 and had to stop for a bit when OH lost his job (Covid) in October. We started again in Feb 2021. We got tests in October, November and December and to cut a long (and a times somewhat traumatic story short) it turns out that my husband has a missing pipe. Basically when his sperm come through they aren’t protected so they get very acidic and then when they meet the egg they can’t create a healthy pregnancy.

Anyway it’s not great because it can’t be fixed and IVF is always our only ever option (there is zero chance of healthy pregnancy without it) but it’s also sort of good because there’s (as far as we know) nothing off with me, and his sperm is actually great it just gets damaged in transit. For this reason the clinic seem really positive. After almost two years I’m not going to believe it until I see it. He had his operation to retrieve on Thursday, I picked up all my drugs and I’ll be having my eggs retrieved next month for transfer early April….so I could be pregnant then but it’s a less than 50% chance so don’t hold your breath haha!