9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

@BritInNZ how long is your luteal phase if you spot for 4 days before? Does your spotting start before 10dpo?

I would presume spotting would be because your progesterone peaks like mid luteal phase. Like day 7/8. And then slowly starts to decrease and then there is a big drop just before AF which makes you bleed. Some womens bodies are more sensitive to the slight drop in progesterone after day 7/8 and hence spot a few days before there period.
But then usually that is when an egg will be implanting. Altho they tend to implant day 6-10 I think mostly..So if your spotting starts like day 10 I don’t think it would prevent implantation. It’s almost like an early you’re not pregnant sign which is fucking shit and not wanted!!

We want two pink lines!!

@Indianna2006 not long at all! I typically ovulate around CD17 so I'm spotting 8dpo which isn't long at all really. I guess that's why it worries me more because it isn't the full amount of time for implantation!

@BritInNZ oh yeh that does seem early. I can see why you’d maybe be a bit concerned. Have you had your thyroid checked? And progesterone? As seems most likely it’s a hormonal issues causing the spotting and progesterone dropping too soon. But if you had it checked and all normal that’s strange. But maybe something to discuss with someone.

I made decision to travel to further clinic and get all the tests done for the in one price. They seemed a much friendlier on the ball clinic than my more local one who never respond or answer the phone!! Which is never a good start right lol.

So first appointment is next Wednesday for all the bloods. And second one three weeks time for 3D US and HSG and Antral follicle count.

@BritInNZ has your fertility nutrionist adviced you if you could do anything to help with the luteal phase early spotting? I think if the consultants weren't that concerned about it, and your hormones are all fine, it shouldn't be an issue, but I know what you mean, I'd also worry and try to do all I can to find out.

@Indianna2006 great that you booked it and I bet you feel better now that there is some sort of progress and plan. Does it include a follow up appointment with someone to discuss all your results?

@Tinkerbell098 yes the first appointment is bloods. And then second appointment does the 3 main tests included with a consultant. And he will go through all my bloods results and the results of the scans on the day for me.
Then I’ve got a much clearer picture going forward.
If we’re unexplained. We just keep going and hope for a BFP until the point we’re prepared to pay out and try IVF…seems a long way off though.

I’m hoping we just need a few more months to get there..

They also said if I fall between having my bloods done and my next HSG tests. Which I could as I’m fertile week now. Then I get a 50% refund on the cost. As I’ll of only had the one appointment..so figured that wasn’t so bad..as they could just say nah tough luck!

@Indianna2006 that's really good value for money. Definitely worth travelling for.

@Indianna2006 that definitely sounds like the right choice of clinic! Think it makes such a difference when people are nice and helpful on the phone and being reasonable about the costs. Glad you have a plan moving forward and sending you positive vibes about it all!

Just had my monthly cry 😭 feeling so fed up and like it's never going to happen for us. The more I think about it, the more worried I am about the spotting. I have a 28 day cycle but I'm spotting from CD25. I don't ovulate until CD17/18 so I'm only getting a 7 day luteal phase which is really freaking me out. None of the professionals can identify what's wrong with me and I feel pretty helpless. I just booked in with the fertility doctor again for May. Unexplained infertility is the worst, I just want answers and to start our own family 😢

Ohhhh @BritInNZ it is so unfair. Unexplained just keeps you in that limbo. Have you considered getting your husband to do a sperm fragmentation test? I've read even if everything looks totally fine, he could have high fragmentation? Have you looked into any meds to bring your ovulation forward? On my 32 days cycles, I O on CD17/18 so I completely understand your struggle - it's really early. I also highly recommend listening to the BFN podcast... really informative. Nothing will make it feel better when you've just got your AF. I was soooo snappy and sad and defeated when mine arrived last week. Big hugs xx

@BritInNZ sorry I mean really late... to ovulate. Also I will add... lots of people say SO often unexplained isn't really unexplained, they'll be some reason, you've just not found it yet. I have high hopes and a good feeling for the next few months for you xx

@BritInNZ ah I’m so sorry! I can understand why you’re so worried.

Presume you’ve tried taking stuff to lengthen your luteal phase like high dose vitamin C and B6 etc? Also think omega 3s can be good.
From what I can see. Luteal phase should be at least 10 days. So obv any spotting before then and lining attempting to shed isn’t ideal. Some women can fall pregnant with a short LP but in general may take longer and some may struggle with it.
My LP used to be 10/11 several years ago but didn’t stop me conceiving. But mine is now longer. Although I never spot before. It would just last 11 day max and then boom period turns up all in one day.

Deff think something a bit Hayward is going on there. Even if they’ve measured your progesterone and it appears normal. Maybe it was very borderline perhaps? Could be you taking some extra progesterone might solve the spotting and make a difference.

Very frustrating when you have a worry in back of your mind and there say it’s not an issue.

I had terrible ovulation pains last night. Worst ones I’ve had in a long while. So back in tww now I guess…

My AMH results have come and a little on the low side at 12.6 pmol/L below average for my age (36). On the report it says average is 14.6. Just feel like I'm getting bad news after bad news so not feeling great this morning.

Hi @Tinkerbell098 - mine is 10.7 and I'm 32. The gynaecology department for my fertility referral wasn't concerned at all. Hope that helps. X

@Tinkerbell098 to add to that, there are lots of different 'normal' ranges. You could have a follicle count scan which will give you a much better idea of what you're working with month to month. AMH is more useful to determine how you'll respond to IVF.

@FlyOnTheWall89 thanks for reassuring me. Really appreciate it. Hope it's nothing to worry about. Just at a very low point at the moment due to everything going on.

Sorry you guys are all feeling so low. I have to admit I don’t think I appreciated at the start how hard with journey with be. I think I was naive at the beginning as most people I know (apart from my cousin who needed help) get pregnant so quickly.

My OH has agreed to tests when we get to the 12 month mark. I need to try and be hopeful something will happen during those cycles but I just feel like I’m treading water until we start investigating really. I can imagine then having it still being unexplained must be so tough!

I know I’m on a downer as PMSing so hard right now 🤦‍♀️

@Sweetpeasandpeonies I completely agree. I was the same - really only had had exposure to people who had got pregnant really quickly. Except one. But I was naive to how hard it would be, on me, my mental health, our relationship and so on! MNs has been a blessing!

Hi all, just caught up with most new messages.

I relate so much to so many of the messages on here! @Sweetpeasandpeonies I have only just joined this group too and am also on cycle 10.

I am 12 DPO With AF due on Monday and refuse to test early because I just cannot face another negative test. Last month was the 3rd time I totally convinced myself 'this is it!' And that I was pregnant... when I wasn't. I get so mad at my body for giving me random symptoms and false hope. So now I don't even get my hopes up in the slightest. I feel a bit PMS-like anyway so think AF is round the corner.

DH didn't want to do any testing yet but I have now persuaded him that if AF shows next week that we will kick start the testing.

I am totally new to this and sometimes everyone's abbreviations and range of tests confuse me (FSH etc). I have found a private local clinic that for £400 will do the following:

• Semen Analysis
• Ovarian Reserve Blood Test (AMH)
• Pelvic Scan
• Medical consultation

Do you think this is enough to cover the basics or am I missing anything? I really just want to rip the plaster off and get as much done as quick as possible to put me out of this worrying misery. I just need to know if something is wrong. Also does anybody know if we do these initial tests privately if I am allowed to request any further tests through the GP?

Sorry if these are stupid questions

I just said to DH it is the not knowing that is affecting me. If we have a problem I would rather just know. Instead I sit and worry about worst case scenarios. At the minute I am worried because DH and I both have historical physical injuries and have had prescribed codeine on and off for many years .. which I just found out isn't good for fertility although I am hoping they just mean people who abuse codeine as it is an 'opiate' I think some people get proper addicted.

I have my best friends baby shower in March. She doesn't know we are trying let alone for this long (she has got pregnant first try for the second time). I just don't know if I can go it already feels so painful, even though I am happy for her.

Sorry this is a huge rant ladies - I hope you all have nice days.

@lemons44 those tests sound like a good start. If your are ttc number 1 could you not contact your GP and get initial bloods and SA. May take a little while longer than private. But I called and was having bloods and SA within the next 2-3 weeks etc. so within a month we at least had those answers.
You’ve been ttc 10 months and after this AF will be 11 months. So you can just inform GP you’ve been ttc a year and I’m sure they will do some testing for you. NHS referal wait can be a while so then further testing private can sometime be a good idea.

But equally some people just prefer to go private. But it can be costly and all start adding up.

Sorry you feel like AF is coming. I’ve only just started tww. But I can’t help obsessing. It’s THE most frustrating thing ever.

@lemons44

I managed to get my bloods and SA on NHS - it was pretty quick you would just need to speak to your GP explain you have been TTC and ask for bloods - these came back for me really quickly, everything seemed ok on my side apart from my thyroid (i had to go private for this as GP wasn't much use) Husband's SA took 2 weeks. I also went private for ultra sound scan which cost £60.

So you could save yourself some money bur also for £400 you are having the AMH which NHS don't offer and i think thats about £80-100 plus your ultrasound and also a consultation with a fertility specialist who will talk through your results.

I was left to analyse my own as my GP just said everything was "normal" but normal and optimal can make a difference with regards to fertility x

@lemons44 I would 100% speak to your doctor. Save that money for something they don't offer... eg, if it's male factor, perhaps you'll need to see a urologist. Your bloods will give you a really good initial idea - you will get an idea of your AMH via those first set of bloods too. So I would say AMH can wait, but privately that is £100 ish. Your ultrasound will be the thing you'll have to wait a bit for, but it might only be a few weeks if you don't mind a man examining you... I didn't know what was involved and felt a bit funny about doing it so I waited for a female and it was a longer wait. Same as a few others; my partner had a SA via GP and it was a gruelling 2 week wait for results. It's quite a cheap test so the next one we do will be a quick results job. X

Hi Ladies

Bit of random one - do you notice ovulation day changes depending on left/right ovary?

When i ovulated last month i had my scan and the lady said it looked like i had ovulated that day from my left side on day 12.

I am therefore likely to ovulate from my right side this month - I'm on day 10 and my clear blue monitor is still low and opks low which i have a feeling means ovulation will be day 14ish - i have just identified this pattern via my bbt as its day 12 one month then day 14 the one after. Really hard when planning DTD.

Just curious? X

@NatW2021 I tend to always get a positive opk CD13 and ovulate later that evening or CD14. So I haven’t noticed that.

Although often one ovary will be more dominant. It won’t always alternate. For example, two times in a row right side. Then one times left. Is much more common pattern.
I do tend to alternate almost. But think my right side is slightly more dominant cos I feel ovulation each month.