First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

[TinyDancer91]

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here x

Has anyone tried the clear blue 6 day before missed period tests? Wondering how reliable they are as I'm starting to feel impatient!

@Zubi consensus is DONT use clear CB... use First response - they are much better and are less likely to give a horrible evap line xx

@Zubi

Has anyone tried the clear blue 6 day before missed period tests? Wondering how reliable they are as I'm starting to feel impatient!

Yesterday I had an evap line on the clear blue and it was a total emotional roller coaster! I now have the first response ones at the ready to test again in a few days x

@Zubi I defs see a tiny line!! Hope it carries on getting darker

@FlyOnTheWall89 @ERachD interesting I didn't know that, thanks for the advice! Fingers crossed for positives all around

[quote FlyOnTheWall89]@Zubi consensus is DONT use clear CB... use First response - they are much better and are less likely to give a horrible evap line xx [/quote]
I didn't realise the CB one were best to avoid! Thanks for sharing this … best go buy some first response ones haha

@Zubi ooh let us know if you do test tomorrow!

@Florrie95 I've ordered some of the first response ones, will be arriving Weds. You can imagine I'll be sat at the window all day waiting for them 😂 being in isolation with covid is making me think even more about it!

Hey everyone, mind if I join? Really feeling the need for some company on this journey! I'm 33 as is my partner, we've stopped trying to not get pregnant for the past two months but nothing has happened yet so I think we're going to have to be a bit more strategic about it and less laissez-faire! I swear my head is already in a mess, flitting between "this is going to happen!" to "what if it never happens for us?" Lots of babies and pregnancies all around me at the moment which is lovely but contributing to a bit of stress and comparison which we all know is the thief of joy.

Lovely to meet you all and best of luck on your journies!

Hello! Do you mind if I join?

Me (30) and DH (31) are on month one of properly TTC! Currently on CD8 and have started using OPKs, which I find fascinating. So excited to see what happens and have everything crossed for a thread full of BFPs 🤞🏼

@Bluets I'm feeling the same, feel like everyone's getting engaged and getting pregnant BUT me 😞 the jealousy is real

A big hello to all of our new friends! It really is helping that there are so many of us all in the same boat and that we now have each other.

I'm currently suffering with my stomach, I occasionally suffer with IBS, made worse by lactose. The past few days have been a bit off a struggle as it seems to be every time I eat I end up feeling sick or really bloated and in pain. Trying not to read into it and just putting it down to my stomach being an a**hole and hating me 😂

I did have a really sharp pain in my pelvic area about an hour ago that I've never experienced before though. Only lasted a few seconds then back to normal. Has anyone else ever had anything like that before? 😵‍💫

Is anyone else hating this weather as well? I just can't seem to stay warm 🥶 I'm not a winter lover 😂

@TinyDancer91 how many dpo are you? Could be implantation pain but I can imagine every little twinge is hard to ignore! I hope your IBS gets better and that the bloating etc is a sign for a BFP not just an upset tum.

I'm a bit bummed this evening, just got back from the place my coparent lives after three days of inseminations. I had my probable ovulation date as CD16. I arrived on CD14 and we inseminated CD14, 15 and 16. On CD 15 and morning of CD 16 I had EWCM, ovulation pain and dark (but not completely positive) OPKs, so I assumed I would ovulate on CD 16 like I usually do. BUT....this afternoon and evening I have a static smiley on a clearblue test and two very clearly positive OPK strips and even more EWCM. So I thought I was 2dpo but I'm actually 0dpo? Or haven't even ovulated yet? Anyway.....it's fine, as the sperm can live for five days and will hopefully still be around to meet the egg when I ovulate tonight or tomorrow but it's frustrating to have my ovulation delayed for the first time in a year of tracking it the first month I'm TTC. I'm blaming it on my booster jab, which I was grateful to get but I have heard has an effect on cycles.

(For clarity - I am now CD17 and will ovulate I guess on CD18 so two days later than I usually do - wouldn't be as big a deal if we were able to DTD/inseminate again for good measure but I'm already home)

@CrazyCatLady95 I hear you, solidarity! It's a difficult feeling to sit with.

@TinyDancer91 thank you for the welcome! Hope you feel better soon. Really challenging and feels pretty unfair to have to manage ill health with symptoms that then trigger our minds to read into things. Also not a fan of winter, I love the sun!

@lakejupiter that sounds really frustrating, so sorry to hear that. My booster hasn't seemed to have impacted my cycle but my second jab did, and anecdotally I've heard of lots of people who have had their cycles impacted. Like you I'm grateful to have access to this wonderful free vaccination but not so grateful for the spanner in the works

I'm on CD1, anyone else? I'm going to start using OPKs for the first time this cycle, gonna get real nerdy about this TTC business!

Hope you are all well ladies 🙂 just had to come on and vent to you guys. Now 8DPO but can’t say I have any symptoms out of the ordinary. It’s torturing and disheartening but I keep having to remember it’s so early on. I feel we covered all bases this month in terms of DTD and it was the first month I knew when I ovulated so I keep thinking if it hasn’t happened this month then why? Anyone else feeling a bit meh about the whole thing? Is it best to wait until 14DPO before testing?

@Bluets yes it's so annoying isn't it! Hard to moan without sounding like an anti-vaxxer but it was really hard to have my booster knowing it was gonna fuck with my first month of ttc.

Also - random q but is your username because of the Maggie Nelson book Bluets??

How frustrating @lakejupiter! It sounds like you’re covered though so have everything crossed for you. On other threads I’ve read, some lucky ladies only DTD once in FW and boom. Up the duff. So I’m hopeful for you. My booster is next week, around CD17 so hoping it’ll be late enough that it doesn’t affect anything, but who knows!

8DPO is still early @rcal1988, so please don’t get disheartened yet. I read somewhere that there’s only like a 25% of conceiving per month. Hopefully you are in the 25%, but if not, it’s totally normal. I am impatient and enjoy a glass of wine or two, so will likely test earlier than 14DPO, but it’s personal preference. What does your gut say?

@Pickles91 thank you! Found myself getting a bit sad about it because I read lots of stuff about going with the flow etc and obviously my situation means I have to plan and have limited amounts of "tries" per month. Reminding myself we are all different and that I did what I could this month ❤️ it's gonna be an emosh couple of weeks lol!

Hopefully your booster doesn't affect anything too much!! I got mine on CD26 of my prev cycle and my AF arrived on time a few days later and was normal, but I think it did delay my ovulation this cycle.

I am envious of anyone who can just go with the flow on this journey @lakejupiter! Especially when you have a couple of extra obstacles in place. As you said, you’ve done everything you can. Just two weeks to go!

Thanks for the insight on your vax. The first two didn’t affect it, but I also wasn’t really paying attention to when in the cycle they were, so felt a bit clueless.

How’s everyone else feeling today?

@lakejupiter it is, yes, good spot! I love Maggie Nelson

It is really tough going through this @rcal1988 I think we all can empathise with that feeling. Some good stats and support on this thread, I hope the meh passes and the wait goes quickly for you.

I'm feeling a bit better today, at least this TTC thing has changed how I feel about getting my period - because I have very consistent and obvious PMS symptoms I know before it comes that I'm not pregnant, so now it feels like a reset rather than a burden. Here we go again, cycle 3 I'm coming for you!

Thanks guys @Pickles91 @Bluets. think I must just be having one of those days! It’s great having this thread to come on to though as even though I could talk to my OH, I feel they don’t understand as other women would. Will try and hold off until 14DPO but I know I have a test upstairs just waiting to be used 😂

Hi, @rcal1988 I started testing yesterday at 9DPO because I'm insane. I think 14DPO is a great day if you can wait that long. For me, 14DPO would be one day after my period was due so I think it all depends on your cycle and how impatient you are!

Here is my 10DPO test taken just now. Its significantly darker than one I took with FMU earlier. Cant tell if I'm just someone who has a higher concentration in the evening, or if because its so early and the hcg is just rising rapidly? Either way its still so early that I'm not allowing myself to be excited yet. AF not due for another 2 days so maybe after that. Think I'll use an FRER in the morning 🤞

A tentative congrats @Florrie95. Can definitely see something! Hoping for a blazing positive FRER tomorrow 🤞🏼

@Florrie95 thanks for your reply. I can definitely see that line! Hoping it continues to get darker for you. Are those strips you have just like the OPK ones but for pregnancy? I don’t think I’ve seen them before. Do you mind me asking where you got them?