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First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

884 replies

TinyDancer91 · 01/01/2022 19:55

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC Smile

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here Smilex

OP posts:
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ECA142 · 01/01/2022 22:24

@PointyMcguire ooh let me know if you test. I'll keep everything crossed for you! Grin

BlueSky57 · 01/01/2022 22:25

Hi all, I’m grateful for this thread too! Flowers Me & DH are both 31 & trying for our first. We have decided not to tell anyone else either so I’m glad I can talk about it with someone.

We are both pretty clueless. I am only just learning all the TCC terminology & dh just thinks you can have sex a few times & then a baby pops out Hmm

I am on CD25 after coming off the mini-pill at the end of October & being pretty regular since. AF is due middle of next week, although I already did a cheap test & got a BFN Angry

ECA142 · 01/01/2022 22:26

@Rpsches917 that's definitely what I'm thinking too. Not sure if any of you early testers will sway me tho! I hope we all get good news for the start of this year.

ECA142 · 01/01/2022 22:29

@BlueSky57

Hi all, I’m grateful for this thread too! Flowers Me & DH are both 31 & trying for our first. We have decided not to tell anyone else either so I’m glad I can talk about it with someone.

We are both pretty clueless. I am only just learning all the TCC terminology & dh just thinks you can have sex a few times & then a baby pops out Hmm

I am on CD25 after coming off the mini-pill at the end of October & being pretty regular since. AF is due middle of next week, although I already did a cheap test & got a BFN Angry

Yeah I'm still rusty on the terminology too. Aw don't worry the BFN might just be because it was a little early. You're not out till mother nature shows up!
PointyMcguire · 01/01/2022 22:30

@ECA142 I’m currently thinking I might test Wednesday if I can wait that long.

Rpsches917 · 01/01/2022 22:32

@BlueSky57 my OH was exactly the same, he was mind blown when I explained the science 😂 keeping everything crossed for you next week in case things change!

@ECA142 yeah I am easily swayed too!!

Hoping for lots of positive news for everyone 😊

ECA142 · 01/01/2022 22:37

Keep us all posted!

BlueSky57 · 01/01/2022 22:43

Thank you! I am actually amazed by the science of it all too. It is mind blowing really isn’t it? Shock The few times I missed a pill when I was younger & was hysterical thinking I was pregnant & would have to confess to my parents… in reality it’s actually quite tricky! Confused

BlueSky57 · 01/01/2022 22:47

Also has anyone else found the 2WW falling over Christmas particularly challenging? Confused
Have tried not to symptom-spot but have had lower backache & some weird stomach pains. I actually think Christmas is responsible for these ‘symptoms’ though Blush I think my back hurts because I’ve moved very little (other than a lot of dtd) & my stomach hurts because of the sheer volume of food I’ve eaten Sad

ECA142 · 01/01/2022 23:03

@BlueSky57

Also has anyone else found the 2WW falling over Christmas particularly challenging? Confused Have tried not to symptom-spot but have had lower backache & some weird stomach pains. I actually think Christmas is responsible for these ‘symptoms’ though Blush I think my back hurts because I’ve moved very little (other than a lot of dtd) & my stomach hurts because of the sheer volume of food I’ve eaten Sad
I'm only 3dpo so not long in the 2ww. But yeah symptom spotting is hard. I get quite bad AF symptoms anyway but being off work at Christmas and having the time to pay attention to your body has you second guessing everything. I'm also on a big weight loss journey and so I'm using to having random pains and twinges from hard work outs so this will mask alot too.
Nyxxie · 01/01/2022 23:06

Being off work is definitely giving me too much time to think (overthink) everything! Hopefully things will seem to go a bit quicker once we're back into the normal routine

S0lipsism · 01/01/2022 23:48

Hello all- I'm in the same boast as well.
Pretty clueless about it all so called my Dr yesterday and he advised waiting 2-3 months whilst taking folic acid supplements before TTC. So April it is then!
I didn't know this before so thought I'd share incase. Good luck everyone!

Sunshine0987 · 02/01/2022 02:46

Hi everyone! We're also going to start ttc our first in the next couple of months so it's nice to have somewhere on here to share the journey Smile

Haxeri · 02/01/2022 05:53

Hey all! Would love to join you? I'm getting my implant removed later this month, and pretty nervous about how 12 years of hormonal contraception will have affected my hormones etc, so expecting it to take a little while before it settles back into s rhythm. Hopefully will give me some time to lose a little weight before my body becomes public domain!

Zubi · 02/01/2022 07:34

Hey all, would love to follow everyone's journey as me and my SO have just started ttc! I think I'm ovulating about now, hard to get my head around everything so got a while to wait yet to know!!

Sassy144 · 02/01/2022 07:35

I'm glad it's not just my DH who thinks you can just dtd once or twice willy nilly and it will happen 🙈 @BlueSky57 I also have lower back ache and tummy cramps, have done since ovulation about 3/4 days ago and being off work means I'm reading into every little thing. In reality though I think my ovulation was a day or two later than expected so we went a bit early with dtd..

Rpsches917 · 02/01/2022 08:40

@BlueSky57

Also has anyone else found the 2WW falling over Christmas particularly challenging? Confused Have tried not to symptom-spot but have had lower backache & some weird stomach pains. I actually think Christmas is responsible for these ‘symptoms’ though Blush I think my back hurts because I’ve moved very little (other than a lot of dtd) & my stomach hurts because of the sheer volume of food I’ve eaten Sad
Yeah I'm with you there - we've just come back from an all inclusive holiday over Christmas and I feel like every little thing is putting me on symptom watch but probably just eating too much 🙈
Jenbyfish · 02/01/2022 08:51

Hi all, massive good luck and best wishes to all of you TTC. It was a mixed bag for us - took nearly 18 months in the end but part of the reason for that was that my cycles have always been irregular and I was very hands off the process at the beginning (sort of just estimating the window based on dates and physical signs).

I know well-meaning advice isn't always helpful, but there's a some practical tips I'd like to pass on that I really feel helped me - no guarantee of success but I think anything you can add to your arsenal when TTC is a bonus. Really recommend ovulation sticks in helping to narrow down the optimum window. Also took daily folic acid and vitamin C supplements - I can be a bit indoorsy normally so definitely think the vitamin C helped with my cycles. And I gave up alcohol 100% - personal choice and probably just coincidental but previously I'd been having the odd glass when AF arrived and in the end I cut it out altogether for a few months. If you're really concerned at any point and have the money (or don't mind waiting for an nhs referral) consider a basic fertility test for both of you - we did this after a year based on my concerns about being irregular but when the results didn't find anything untoward, it gave us an extra boost of confidence. Alternatively, if something did show up at least you'd then have the knowledge to decide the best next step for you.

Just wanted to post here because for anyone who doesn't manage to get that positive result after the first few months the TTC journey can get tough at times (2WW is the worst!). On the other hand I really felt it gave me a lot of resilience and perspective so if you end up in a similar boat, don't lose hope! Best of luck to all of you!Smile

Jenbyfish · 02/01/2022 08:58

Ah sorry, morning brain - meant vitamin D not vitamin CSmile

BlueSky57 · 02/01/2022 09:49

Thanks for all the tips @Jenbyfish Flowers

As this is our first TTC cycle, I started doing my BBT yesterday. I am quite surprised how low mine is orally with 34.95 yesterday and a rise to 35.32 today. I’m expecting AF in the next few days so assumed it would be dropping now rather than rising but I still think it’s really low anyway Confused

MrsG2021 · 02/01/2022 10:15

Hi everyone. Please can I join? I’m 27 and my DH is 28. We got married in August 2021 and have decided to start TTC this year. I’ve been broody for years haha so I’m feeling really excited but also a little bit nervous that it won’t happen (no reason why but I do have a bit of health anxiety so probably that!). I’ve been tracking my cycles using Clue for a couple of years now just out of interest so I’m fairly confident when I ovulate but might need to buy some sticks to be sure (although I don’t want to become obsessed!). I started taking the Pregnacare folic acid a couple of months ago which annoyingly caused a few changes to my usually very regular cycles. Has anyone else taken the Pregnacare vitamins and had similar side effects?

HMFx · 02/01/2022 10:26

@MrsG2021 it's like reading my own mind reading your post. I too have dealt with health anxiety in the past. Therapy helped but it's been bad the past couple of days in the run up to trying for the first time! I'm hoping once we actually start I will calm down. Doesn't help that my period has been very odd this month but again putting it down to diet changes and having my booster last week. I'm also taking the pregnacare conception vitamins but only for a few days so not sure how much affect this will have had. But I have heard it can change your cycles so I wouldn't worry too much.

Also thanks to @Jenbyfish for the advice it's actually made me feel better this morning 😁

Angelemily92 · 02/01/2022 10:34

Thank you for setting up this thread.

Myself (29) OH (31) ready to TTC. Bloody nervous. I have regular periods and tracking my ovulation times. Good luck to everyone!!

BlueSky57 · 02/01/2022 10:58

Hi & welcome to all newcomers! Grin

I woke up with the really bad backache again this morning and after a slight rise in my BBT, I thought I’d do a cheap test strip. I have previously had nothing show up on them but today on CD26 I got a dot… so I did a FRER then got a BFN. Disappointed but AF is not due for another few days so maybe there’s still hope!

First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...
Nyxxie · 02/01/2022 11:07

Thank you @Jenbyfish for the advice and reassurance, really good to hear. Do you have any recommendations on which OPKs to get?

I don't think I will use them this first cycle as it will be a withdrawal bleed rather than a natural period and I know the NHS advice is to wait until after your first natural one. That said we won't be using protection either, but won't be trying to maximise our chances until next cycle onwards. Seems like forever to wait!

Really grateful for this thread and looking forward to hearing how everyone gets on Smile