First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

[TinyDancer91]

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here x

@Livlaughloathe I figure if we don’t conceive in the next cycle I’ll contact them. I actually had full bloods and an ultrasound about 5 months ago because I was having a lot of post-sex bleeding, and everything was normal then. Mind they weren’t checking for specific fertility-related things.

& I know what you mean about being bombarded. Three of my coworkers are pregnant, two have gone on mat leave, and four more have just come back from mat leave. It’s everywhere at the moment and frankly I hate it 🙃 I am happy for them all but also it’s a real struggle to see the pregnant ones or listen to the others talk about their babies.

@arebee I’d wait as long as you can tbh, those tests are more accurate if you give your body time to make hCG. Totally understand wanting to know though! Hope you get some good news soon 😊

@TinyDancer91 @ElaineMarie87 thank god I’m not the only one 😅 at least we can vent about it here!

@ElaineMarie87 god I’d struggle with it at work for sure! That must be tough with that many coworkers either pregnant or just had babies, it must feel constant.
Sounds a plan re docs. At least you know there’s probably a few things already ruled out from the bloods you’ve had and with the ultrasound too. X

@Livlaughloathe @ElaineMarie87 it's good to know we're not alone isn't it!

I kind of feel like my boss doesn't think I'll have kids... we've got a newbie joining us part time and she made a comment today that we dont need to worry about her going on another contract, the only thing we need to worry about is if she gets pregnant (dance teacher, contract meaning professional dance contract).... I was just stood there thinking, but what about if I get pregnant?? Now I've known my boss since I was 5, so I know she didn't mean any malice by it, but it still hurt a little bit that she doesn't seem to think it's a possibility. Or am I just reading WAY too much into this? Because I do have a tendency to do that!

Anyway, had my bloods done today, just got to wait for the results now. Not feeling positive about this month at all. Not even going to bother testing unless by some miracle AF is late for the first time ever!

Love & baby dust to all!! 💕✨🫶🏻

@TinyDancer91 hope your tests come back OK or if there is something then it's easy to treat and you get some answers 🤞

I think what your boss said was probably just a throwaway comment, I totally understand why you're reading into it but if she has known you that well and for so long she provably didn't even think. I'm sure she will be so happy for you when it's your time x

Hiya ladies. Sorry I'm jumping back in again without catching up on everyone's posts. Fourth official attempt of trying (been off the pill for over a year though).. 10dpo and BFN, not going to test unless AF doesn't come but I'm pretty certain it's another month over for us. I hope this doesn't offend anyone as I know some couples have tried for so much longer but up to now I've been pretty chilled. This time around I feel heartbroken. Does it just hit anyone else like this? Also month by month I feel more and more panicked that somethings wrong and it's not going to happen for us 😢 don't know if I'm being irrational or others feel the same. Gutted xx

@Glawen I felt exactly the same. For the first 3 cycles or so I was a bit disappointed but fairly chilled. Cycle 4 I was really not chilled. Cycle 5 even less chilled. Now waiting for AF on cycle 6 and I am pretty sure this isn't the one for a few different reasons. I am already planning for cycle 7 and then after that some tests probably (will have to pay to go private) as I am worried there might be something wrong.

Hope you're ok. Try not to beat yourself up about feeling bad because everyone has high points and low points

First time officially trying, came off BC 3 weeks ago and just been seeing what happens. No period yet, I usually had spotting regularly (like a super light period) on BC due yesterday and nothing yet. Had some mucas like discharge yesterday and today so not really sure what all this means...
Did an ovulation test today for the first time and that was a nope... so I don't really know what my starting point is, I expected my spotting yesterday... Wait for a period?

@TinyDancer91 bit late replying to your post but still wanted to say something! I think since trying and then having the miscarriage, I’ve realised how much people generally end up saying things that could so easily be hurtful without them even realising. Lots of things are said with no bad intentions but when you’re going through something difficult you see how much people don’t really think about the potential impacts of their words. Try not to take it to heart, I know it’s difficult sometimes. Before trying and going through these things ourselves there may have been instances where we’ve accidentally said the wrong thing without knowing but now we have an even greater empathy because of our own experiences, that we are more aware of it and will probably be more cautious with our words than the average person. Even whilst I was pregnant and lots of people didn’t know, some people were so clumsy and rude with their words. I couldn’t believe how insensitive they could be. I expected people to be more careful in what they say to others but the reality is, even the good people who you know and love sometimes get it wrong without knowing.

Hope you haven’t got too long to wait for your results xx

@PPop If you were on BC for a long time it can take a little while for the synthetic hormones to leave your body, which could have an impact on your cycles so I’d probably try wait it out another week or two before doing a test if your period hasn’t come by then. If you do get your period then at least you’ll have a clearer starting point moving forward x

@Livlaughloathe thank you! I thought as I had the light periods prior it may follow suit, I've had clear sticky discharge for 5 days now and discomfort in my uterus area but no idea if that is a period incoming but it doesn't feel like they used to feel. Was on despgestral for 18months and before that was on the injection but the doctors moved me as they said desogestral makes you cycle again sooner on coming off...

Well AF arrived this morning, for the first time since the loss and I almost forgot how crappy it is. Also means that tiny hopeful voice in my head telling me there’s a possibility I could of being pregnant again, has well and truly gone and now I feel stupid. Very mixed feelings about Af showing up but trying to focus myself on the positive angle that at least I know where I’m at now in my cycle and can properly track everything again.

How is everyone feeling this Monday morning? Where in cycle is everyone?

Sending positive vibes ✨ x

@Livlaughloathe don't feel stupid, I think everyone has that voice. I know I do - currently about 2/3DPO and keep persuading myself I see symptoms, which is of course impossible so early! What's so great about this message board is that we can all support each other through what is such an emotionally tricky time. I'm quite new to all this and already learning a lot from what I'm reading, and feeling very comforted by being surrounded by so many others going through the same stages.

@CheeryCupcake yes it’s hard not to have that voice isn’t it. Ah ok well fingers crossed for you this cycle! 🤞🏼✨ it’s only natural to symptom spot. Hope the tww goes quick for you! And I absolutely agree. It’s a god send to have this community here and not feel so alone in the turbulent process. I’ve learnt so much too. It’s crazy how little we are told about what is actually involved and all the impacting factors when ttc. It’s a minefield, there’s soooooo much information!

12 dpo today, no symptoms as such but I have endo and normally have really annoying cramps, pulling pains, stabbing pains etc a few days before af and by the time im 12 dpo just want af to hurry up so I can get some relief. No pains at all so im currently loving life 😂 I have a squinted of a line on an ic this morning but could just be in evap line, fingers crossed tho. I'm hoping my lack of symptoms is a sign. Either way I'm just glad not to be in pain for once, it's so weird

@Babydust99 oh my goodness! This sounds very promising! Will you test tomorrow? Great that you’re not having the pain too. Will keep everything crossed for you! Keep us updated🤞🏼✨✨✨

Hey ladies! Thought I would join in☺️ ttc first baby since June, I’ve had a mmc and then a very early chemical since then. Hopeful that this cycle will be the one🤞🏻 xx

Thanks @Livlaughloathe I'm not getting my hopes up but enjoying the pain free weirdness while it lasts lol

I might wait 2 days before testing again, will see how I feel in the morning. Hate the ics and their faint lines. Had either a chemical or fake positives 2 cycles ago so don't trust them

I'm new to this thread barring my panicked post which sadly was my imagination! Waiting for ovulation to begin, last day of period was Saturday. Was a very light one (I am not used to them as been only having spotting on desogestral) so waiting to try again...

Hey all!

thought I’d check in… still here with no happy news to report! I feel we’ll soon be moving onto cycle 11. We’ve not even had a hint of a BFP in the last 10 months, no symptoms, not even a serious thought that I could be pregnant each month. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t feel stressed or upset about it anymore. Feel like I’m at the point of accepting that it might not happen easily for us. I was reluctant to get bloods done before but I have contacted my GP yesterday and requested some bloods to get the ball rolling… I’m sure it will happen for us eventually but maybe we’ll need a helping hand. We’ve tried conceive plus vitamins, fertility lube and the fertilily over the months with no luck. Maybe some blood work will shed some light on things or at least be something we can rule out. I have really regular periods and had an internal ultrasound scan off the back of irregular bleeding last year which was all totally normal.

@TinyDancer91 how have you been doing? Have you had your blood tests/results yet?

hope everyone is doing okay. It’s such a difficult journey. Hope we have some BFPs soon 💕✨

Hi @ChloeN 👋🏼 Sorry for your losses ❤️ I had a SMM in September, it’s tough! Fingers crossed for you this cycle x

@Babydust99 completely understand it’s hard to trust them. Evaps are just terrible. Got everything crossed that it’s a positive for you ✨

@PPop hopefully it will start to get easier for you to track everything now you’ve had one. That’s the positive I’m taking from mine arriving too.

@mgwyegve Im sure it will happen for you. Requesting bloods is a positive step so you have some more clarity. Hope it’s a quick turn around for you!

@Livlaughloathe no bfp yet and feel like af is coming now so pretty sure I'm moving on to cycle 5 which I don't mind too much

@Babydust99 its not over till it comes but as you said, at least you got a break from the pain this cycle x

@Livlaughloathe I must admit I feel more uncomfortable around my midriff then I did before when I was on the pill! Just like twinges of discomfort. I think I must be due to ovulate soon? Did an ovulation test yesterday kinda looked like a really light line maybe but 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Livlaughloathe thank you☺️☺️ in the tww now, longest 2 weeks ever 🤣