First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

[TinyDancer91]

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here x

It depends on your age though, doesn’t it. At 36 I’m meant to go to the gp after 6 months of trying.

Yes that's right @AgeGapBbe
My husband is 36 but it goes off the woman's age.

I would actually love twins! I know it's harder, more risks, etc etc, but I would still be so happy.

@TinyDancer91 thank you!! Another negative for me this morning, so pretty sure I’m out but will wait and see what this weekend brings.

So sorry you’re feeling like that, it is so disheartening 😓 like you said though, you’re never 100% out until AF arrives so hang on in there! My fingers are crossed for you xx

Thanks for the support everyone. To answer a few questions;

• We've been officially TTC for 9 months now, but unofficially since Oct last year.
• We've not visited the GP yet, we were hoping this would be the one but had planned on seeing the GP if not, so looks like that's what I'll be trying to sort out next week.

I'm hoping that don't say 2 years for us! I'm 31 and OH is 35, 2 years is just such a long time... I'd take the offer of blood tests at least, just to see if there is anything going on that's stopping us.

@Glawen had some more of those cramps today again and a little bit of back pain. I have a gut feeling this isn't our month. Although I did have loads of ewcm for like 5 days which is most definitely not normal for me so hoping that has helped 🤞When will you be testing?

@TinyDancer91 I'm sorry to hear you are feeling like this. If it's any comfort please know you are not alone. I feel the same too. You are not a failure. Sometimes it just takes longer for some people but as it has been said earlier it's not really talked about if it takes people a while is it? I had a GP appointment today and she has booked me in for some bloods next month. I do feel slightly better now I know I've got the ball rolling on tests etc. We are all on this journey together and we will get there 💜

Can I ask you guys for some advice?

Me and my Husband have only just started TTC, but cause of where I work I'm considering telling health and safety.
I work in a car refurbishment centre (cosmetic side), in the parts department, so there are lots of solvents, paint etc. I don't' actively use any of them, they stay sealed I just hand over the stuff.
But as with volatile substances, you cant completely avoid them, and the fire cabinets they are kept in stink.

I'm just wondering, assuming that a lot of these substances would be harmful to baby, especially in early pregnancy, do I tell H&S ahead of time to figure out what we can do before we get pregnant to stop any accidental harm before I know about it

Thank you so much <3

AF has showed up today 😩 onto the next cycle.

Treating myself to a glass of wine this evening, as hopefully I won’t be able to soon 🤞 x

Hi everyone, it's my first time posting, bit nervous! We've been TTC for 14 months ish and I thought I might pass on things I've learned that I had no idea about before in case they're helpful. I went for my Hyfosy the other day and the doctor said to me that the procedure will likely improve my fertility for the next 3-4 months! I was a bit shocked that it was actually a thing that definitely does happen, rather than a lovely rumour. I've also been told that the cutoff for IVF on the NHS, at least in my area I guess, is 35, which I was also pretty taken aback by - it's much earlier than I thought it would be, it feels like that info should be a bit more widely publicised!

Hi guys, any room for another TTCer?
So after a couple of months of taking time off from ttc...(trust me it is was needed)...we are back trying. Over two years now.

I don't usually share but...
The people I would talk to in real life, one announced her pregnancy during our family holiday, another just got pregnant straightaway, my favourite person is gearing up to ttc in may next year (she already has two girls, but something feels off when I speak to her) and the last one just gave birth and is hoping to conceive the next one as quick as the first.

And I'm just down in the dumps, feeling lonely and sorry for myself.

(I already have one child, I am grateful, I am...honest- but let me weep, tears can give clarity right?!)

This was the first cycle back, the ovulation tests I used wouldn't give a thick test line, just a thin one, but luckily I think we did catch the peak. Either way LH is going downwards.

The part which worries me is my cervical mucus, my cervix is still high and soft, but I have blood mixed into my mucus.
Blood always worries me. I also have back pain. Back pain also worries me.

Crazy questions go through my head, did it not implant correctly, is there something wrong with my lining, is their something wrong with my cervix?

I wish I had some positives to give right now, rather than just feeling worried.

Something has changed within me when we took this break- before when we trying I did want baby number two...
But now...
I really really want number two, I heard older mums say you will know when you are ready for number two, and that's so true for me.

I'm not afraid to be a mummy anymore, I'm afraid I'll never get to experience life in my belly again.

...let's see what happens for this cycle.

Hey everyone!

I mentioned on an earlier post coming across a couple on instagram who had been TTC for 2 years and are now pregnant with identical twins. I’ve just found their YouTube and some of their videos are really informative and reassuring so I thought I’d share ☺️

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyr1rclg_Go

Hope you’re all having a great weekend 💖

Hi @MorganLeBast, there might be some useful information on HSE's website here? www.hse.gov.uk/mothers/

Welcome newbies!

As predicted, AF has just shown up, right before I go to bed. Another one down. Another one with nothing at all.

I don't know how I feel anymore either. I'm not happy, I'm not sad. I guess I just feel a little empty. I kind of feel like I'm just running on fumes.

Right now, it feels like there is just nothing to show for the months of trying and heartache. No chemical, no MMC, nothing. There is nothing to show 'look, we're trying as best we can. We want this so badly'. I feel awful for thinking and saying that because I wouldn't wish either on anyone but I just need SOME sign that it COULD happen.

I don't think I'm strong enough for this repeated heartbreak. Especially if I have to endure it for 2 years before we can get any help.

It's so hard having to carry on and make everyone believe that everything is normal and fake a positive attitude every day.

I'm going to phone the Dr on Monday and try to get an appointment. I need some answers, even if they aren't the answers I want to hear.

Sorry for another negative post, I just needed to get that out of my brain. Wishing for BFPs for you all ❤️‍🩹

@TinyDancer91, so sorry to hear that you're struggling so much - I get what you mean about feeling empty - I'm trying to stay positive and am keeping going but at the same time I think if I got pregnant I'd be shocked! It's strange and hard. I just wanted to say that we've had a great and really supported experience with the GP. I probably got lucky in having such a proactive GP take my phone appt because he referred me to the fertility clinic at the hospital right away (after a year of trying), but I can't see why after a year you wouldn't also be referred based on your age. I'm 33. We have had all our tests done really promptly, by caring staff who have explained what tests are going to come when and what they tell us etc - it's been so lovely to feel like there's someone who wants to help. Hang in there, you maybe just need some help too Xx

Woke up today with a bit more clarity, calm and determination in my mind.

Phoned my dr surgery (on hold for 25 mins!) to make an appointment. Needed to book in for cervical screening anyway, so booked in for that and a phone app with the gp. Earliest I could book in was 26th. 2 weeks to wait but hopefully on the road to some answers 🤞🏻

How is everyone else doing? Have we had any BFPs?

Love & baby dust to all 💕✨

P.s. I'll to be remain a bit more positive now going forwards in my posts. Had a rough couple of months but we'll get there 😊🫶🏻

Hi @TinyDancer91

It's good that you have the appointment booked in and you're feeling clearer about the next steps. Hope everything goes well at the doctors and you get some positive actions from the appoontment.

I'm CD7, cycle 6. Not feeling very in the mood to DTD but will probably start every other day either Thursday or Friday. Really hoping cycle 6 is our lucky cycle.
It has been a bit brutal to be TTC iin our friend / family group with lots of pregnancy announcements in the past few weeks. Felt very jealous and upset that these people have what I want so desperately.

Feeling a bit more positive the past few days. I am now hopeful that I will be pregnant by XMas / NY and hopefully not to early to share with close family and friends. I know it's stupid to put an arbitrary time limit on it, setting myself up for more upset, but never mind

Hi @TinyDancer91

I'm cycle 3 day 9. Still getting used to the process but feeling a bit down the last week. My cousin announced their pregnancy and my mum immediately rang me to ask how I felt about it. I said happy but she kept on asking - I found it very weird and stressful. I haven't told her we are trying as she gets very stressed about change and can be a bit intrusive sometimes

How's everyone doing? I'm just waiting for af

Cycle 3, period is late but BFN. Although I did test this evening which I know isn't recommended as morning urine is better. Any idea what might be going on ?! @TinyDancer91 glad you've got a bit of a plan moving forward ❤

@thecoconutcat definitely try with fmu tomorrow if you can. Which tests are you using? How many dpo are you?

Hi @Babydust99 I'm using clear blue weeks indicator tests. I'm apparently 15dpo, cd28 and I'm always regular

@thecoconutcat I don't think clearblue are very sensitive, you'd be best trying to get some frer if you can

@Babydust99 thank you I'll have a try...

@thecoconutcat let us know how it goes 🤞

3 days late, nothing. In my entire life I've never had a cycle that wasn't 27-28 days. Haven't got access to a FRER test yet. Yesterday did a premom pregnancy test which showed nothing. My body has all the signs of an upcoming period but nothing else. What is going on!?