First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

[TinyDancer91]

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here x

Morning all, went to bed feeling slightly crampy despite AF not being due for a few more days so pretty sure this month isn’t the month. Almost tested this morning to end the agonising, but then chickened out.

@Nyxxie I just used basic strips - got a pack of around 50 femometer ones and that lasted a good few months as I wasn't using every day, just around the 1-2 week window after AF when ovulation was likely. I don't think there's a lot of difference between brands in terms of effectiveness, just comes down to cost. I'd say bulk buy if you can (if you end up with spares they can actually (usually) also show positive in the early weeks if you're pregnant, same as a pregnancy test - but best to use a proper test initially!). I did buy a BBT thermometer too that I intended to use alongside but in the end was never that organised to track temp every day

[quote HMFx]@MrsG2021 it's like reading my own mind reading your post. I too have dealt with health anxiety in the past. Therapy helped but it's been bad the past couple of days in the run up to trying for the first time! I'm hoping once we actually start I will calm down. Doesn't help that my period has been very odd this month but again putting it down to diet changes and having my booster last week. I'm also taking the pregnacare conception vitamins but only for a few days so not sure how much affect this will have had. But I have heard it can change your cycles so I wouldn't worry too much.

Also thanks to @Jenbyfish for the advice it's actually made me feel better this morning 😁[/quote]
Sorry to hear that you also suffer from health anxiety @HMFx , although it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one. I have also had therapy which helped a little bit but coming off the pill really seemed to improve things for me. Not sure why, maybe it was something to do with my hormones!
Yeah, I’ve read that it can cause changes to your cycle so not too worried! The changes weren’t huge, just one short cycle, followed by a slightly longer than average one so hopefully it will settle down now. I’ve also had my booster recently so that might be affecting things too.

@MrsG2021 thank you - same with me too. Coming of the pill changed a lot for me I've recommended it to all my friends too and they've also said it's helped their mental health. Nice to have someone who knows how it is! Hopefully we can keep each other sane. Trying to remember my tips from therapy of how to deal with it all and not let it consume me. I definitely think the booster has had an effect. Fingers crossed for us both! X

@HMFx That’s a good idea, I will try to do the same. Definitely up for trying to keep each other sane! X

[quote MrsG2021]@HMFx That’s a good idea, I will try to do the same. Definitely up for trying to keep each other sane! X[/quote]
It's a plan 😁👍🏼 xx

Hey ! I’d love to join this thread too!
My partner and I have decided to start trying this month, 33&31. Super excited and a bit of a planner so spent a fair amount of today trawling through the conception part of mumsnet !! So nice to have have a place to ask questions / share random thoughts.

Hi I would love to join as well. Been TTC for a little while for baby #1 at 40 yo.. feeling a bit hopeless because of my age but don't really want to talk about it to friends and family to avoid pressure! Currently awaiting AF which should come tomorrow or the day after. Been experiencing mild cramping and sore breasts for the last 4 days but not getting my hopes high as the cramps could well be in my head! Did a test yesterday which was negative, won't test again and just wait as I am struggling everytime I see it's negative :-(
Baby dust to you all!

@Circe22

Hey ! I’d love to join this thread too! My partner and I have decided to start trying this month, 33&31. Super excited and a bit of a planner so spent a fair amount of today trawling through the conception part of mumsnet !! So nice to have have a place to ask questions / share random thoughts.

You sound just like me! Such a planner I really need to calm down haha. Good luck to you and to you @PaulaTTC

Baby dust to everyone here ✨🧡

@HMFx. Haha - glad I’m not the only one!

I do have a bit of a general question actually I’m going on a group skiing holiday next week (8th) and will be away when AF is expected (11th) , so a bit conflicted about whether to do some early testing ( seems like they are fairly hit and miss) or just try to put it out of my mind until I’m home. Or could take tests with me… Realise skiing isn’t ideal but I’ve been a few times & will be careful….although appreciate some would say cancel…

Baby dust to all!

@Circe22 hmmm if it was me I wouldn't take any and just see what happens. If i tested early it might make me a bit meh if it was a BFN. But that's just me - do what feels right for you. No harm in taking some with you! Xx

@HMFx what’s BNF? (Clearly haven’t read enough threads on here yet )

Welcome @Sunrise321 ! It’s a kind of strange time of yet to be starting ttc isn’t it!

[quote Circe22]@HMFx what’s BNF? (Clearly haven’t read enough threads on here yet )

Welcome @Sunrise321 ! It’s a kind of strange time of yet to be starting ttc isn’t it![/quote]
Hehe sorry I've clearly been lurking here for too long! BFN is big fat negative (pregnancy test) - BFP is the opposite- positive! You'll pick all the lingo up as you go there is a lot of it haha. Xx

Oops got it! BFN - big fat negative!

Hi All. Hope it’s OK to join you :) I’ve been reading mumsnet posts for a few months now. Definitely becoming a little obsessed 🤣 We haven’t been seriously TTC until now however we aren’t preventing anything and as it hasn’t happened yet I’m so disappointed each month when AF shows. After years of trying to not get pregnant I can’t believe that there’s so much more to it than we are taught at school! This is the first month I have properly used OPKs. I had been going off a few apps but their predictions I’ve realised are not always very accurate. Last month I bought the CB digital ones which are quite pricey but I thought they would be the best. They didn’t work for me and told me that I was peak fertility on the first day I tried them - CD10. I didn’t think this could be right so early in my cycle so I tested them again a few days later. I got peak fertility on CD14 and on CD19. Que the stress as I have on average a 32 day cycle so with some Googling this made me doubt I was actually ovulating at all. It completely threw me and I then missed my real ovulation date. This month I bought some cheapies from Amazon in bulk and they have worked so well and I got my peak today CD16! I used them from CD10 twice a day. Feel at ease knowing something is happening and my body isn’t broken! DTD CD15 and 16 so now I’m entering the TWW. I’ve found the following apps quite useful and the fact I’m using 4 is maybe ridiculous but hoping it helps us! Flo, Ovia, Femometer and Premom. I just wanted to go on the journey with other women in the same position. Wishing you all the best of luck with lots of baby dust for this month xxx

After years of trying to not get pregnant I can’t believe that there’s so much more to it than we are taught at school!

@rcal1988 DH and I said the exact same thing! We’d have been a lot more chill about things had we realised we wouldn’t get pregnant the first time we had unprotected sex!

Its definitely frustrating when you see how much effort we're making and how much we made sure we were 'careful' previously. Still when we get those BFPs it will be all the sweeter! Fingers crossed ladies!

Firstly, a big hello to all our new friends who have joined since my last post! I can't quite believe how quickly this has taken off, I thought it would end up just being me talking to myself! Haha

It's so nice to be able to share thoughts and feelings with others in the same situation.

My SO thinks that it's just as simple as DTD and voile, baby. Trying to make him understand that it's not that simple. Makes it harder that his brother's child was the result of a one night stand, too...

We have literally just started our journey, AF not due until around 19th...have convinced myself that it's not going to happen this month anyway so am mentally prepped for AF this month.

Does anyone else at times find their mind totally consumed by the thought of having a baby, with things like do we want to find out the gender, baby names etc?

Another question, is there anything about pregnancy that scares you? For me, I have a phobia of puke, I haven't been physically sick since I was 14, so the thought of morning sickness scares the heck out of me!

Sending positive vibes and baby dust to you all!!

@TinyDancer91I’m scared of the puke too! Although, unlike you, I’m a very ‘pukey’ person and I am usually sick if I’m under the weather so I just know that I’m going to have terrible morning sickness if I’m lucky enough to fall pregnant. Not sure how that will work when I’m in the middle of teaching a class of 4 year olds but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it!

@TinyDancer91

Baby thoughts are taking over. SO sent me a picture of a Pokémon babygrow he thought was funny a few mins ago so I think it's effecting him too!

@MrsG2021
I work with little people too! At least when we tell them we feel poorly they will be blissfully unsympathetic and push us to carry on playing!

@MrsG2021 @ECA142 I also work with little ones - babies actually - so work won't be much of a distraction from the all consuming baby thoughts!!

@TinyDancer91 None of the pregnancy stuff really worries me, it's just the actual birth part!!

Sorry to jump on the chat! But the actual birth part literally petrifies me!!
Currently on CD15 of cycle 2 TTC#1. First positive opk today so need to dtd over the next few days!! Also my partner is very chilled about it all. Thinks we should just relax, he does not understand how difficult it is 😂

@TinyDancer91

Firstly, a big hello to all our new friends who have joined since my last post! I can't quite believe how quickly this has taken off, I thought it would end up just being me talking to myself! Haha

It's so nice to be able to share thoughts and feelings with others in the same situation.

My SO thinks that it's just as simple as DTD and voile, baby. Trying to make him understand that it's not that simple. Makes it harder that his brother's child was the result of a one night stand, too...

We have literally just started our journey, AF not due until around 19th...have convinced myself that it's not going to happen this month anyway so am mentally prepped for AF this month.

Does anyone else at times find their mind totally consumed by the thought of having a baby, with things like do we want to find out the gender, baby names etc?

Another question, is there anything about pregnancy that scares you? For me, I have a phobia of puke, I haven't been physically sick since I was 14, so the thought of morning sickness scares the heck out of me!

Sending positive vibes and baby dust to you all!!

We're in a similar situation! My AF due on the 16th. Ovulated today according to the tests and did have a bit of ovulation pain too. Me and SO have been doing the baby dance last few days, I feel like we're doing everything right so we just have to wait for Mother Nature to do her thing.

Pretty lucky in that SO gets the ovulation and is very interested in my ovulation tests too haha.

I just know that from the day we do find out we're pregnant, I'll be worried about doing anything wrong, constantly worried that the baby is defo in there!!

The two week wait begins for us