First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

[TinyDancer91]

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here x

AF arrived right on time this morning. Only month 2 of trying but why is it still disappointing?! I keep thinking how do teenagers have 1 night of unprotected sex and end up pregnant and I'm deliberately trying and not 😂 I know it will happen and 2 months is nothing, just everyone hopes it will be quick don't they?? Starting with easy@home this cycle as so many of you have recommended. Any tips?!

Hi guys!

How is everyone doing? I’ve been trying my absolute hardest to put TTC to the back of my mind this cycle but it’s proven pretty impossible! 😂 I’m currently CD 23 and 7 DPO, couldn’t resist the urge and tested this morning BFN. While I know it’s still super early I’m not keeping my hopes up for a BFP this month… think I’ll be shortly moving on to cycle 8… I spoke to my GP a few weeks back and they were reassuring that it’s perfectly normal for it to take this long but did mention having some blood work to check things are okay. I’m in two minds about it, will it just cause me more stress when everything could be perfectly fine? I’m such a worrier so just can’t decide whether it would do me more harm than good. Do we just wait until the 12 month mark before starting investigations? Still 5 cycles before we would be outside the ordinary time frames.. what would you do?

it’s so tough this journey.

hope you’re all keeping well, keeping everything crossed for some BFP’s! ✨ 💕

@mgwyegve I'm similar to you. My AF has just started so I'm heading into cycle 8. I'm TTC #1 and am worried something is wrong even though as you say 12 months is considered normal. Most people I know seem to have got pregnant quite quickly so I guess that's why I'm concerned as I don't know many people who take 6 months plus. Do you? I've actually got a GP appointment next week as I'd like to get the ball rolling on tests etc. I've heard it can take a while where I live to get referred and then wait until an appointment for the tests etc.

I feel like this is all I think about so I'm feeling down quite a bit of the time. I'm going to try and find some fun things to do to keep me occupied as I have found that helps take my mind off things. Is there anything you have found helps?

Sorry I haven't really answered your questions just wanted to say I'm in the same boat so completely understand!

Hi @Sunshinescotter I’m sorry you’re experiencing this too, it really is so tough! I agree, everyone else seems to get pregnant so easily but then I keep reminding myself that you never really know others experiences and the struggles they may have had. It’s really tough as it’s never really talked about is it…

I think I may contact my GP too and try and get the ball rolling… if anything happens in the meantime then happy days! And if not, at least we’re making steps in the right direction.

I totally get how it’s making you feel down. I wish I could suggest some things that help but I find some days I can be really positive and other days I just feel it will never happen… really is a bumpy journey!

It will happen for us both though! It’ll all be worth the struggle and the wait one day 🥰 I hope it’s not too long before you get your happy news x

Hi Ladies.

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I had to take a break from all forms of social media for a little while for my own mental health. Not sure how much it has helped, but we shall see!

Still no progress for me. I'm now on cycle #9 and finding it really hard to stay positive. Today is ovulation day, so the TWW begins again...

Catching up since my last post:

@LauraA31 congrats! Hope all is still well. How are you feeling? Has it sunk in yet?

@BeeLieve86 I've been taking Seven Seas trying to conceive supplements, how are you doing now?

@Plantymcplant How are you doing now? TTC is not the journey I expected either!

@Zubi congrats to you too! How are you feeling now?

@LavenderWillow welcome to the madness!! How are you doing? Did you figure anything out on the spotting? It's not something I've experienced so can't comment on it personally. Hoping your journey is a smooth one!

@thecoconutcat I'm on month 9 and can safely say the disappointment does not get any easier 😂 I know what you mean about the one-night-standers who manage to get pregnant and then there's us here wanting it more than anything and it just not happening easily. I use easy@home strips and to begin with did use them every day of my cycle. Now I'm this far in, once I have hit my peak and am getting low readings again, I stop using them until after AF, just to save some money!! It's very easy to become obsessed with them. Have you started using them yet?

@mgwyegve I would take them up on the tests if they have been offered, might just be the peace of mind that you need. If we are unsuccessful again this cycle, I am going to make an appointment with my GP to see if we can get the ball rolling here too. I think I would rather know sooner than later if there was anything to worry about too.

@Sunshinescotter The only person I'm aware of that has taken longer than 6 months ended up having to have IVF, so that's not helping my state of mind. But like we've said, we never really know other people's stories. It's good that's you've got a GP appointment to help get things rolling for you too. Finger crossed for you. I know exactly how you feel with the ups & downs. I've really struggled at times and not having someone to talk to properly has made it harder for me.

Sending love & baby dust to all ✨💕

@TinyDancer91 hello! Hope that you are feeling a bit better after your break.

im doing ok thank you for asking, im 5+3 today according to NHS due date calculator and got a private scan booked for 11th September; im so nervous for the scan!

I have bad lower back ache, had some period like cramps on and off in my lower tummy and im so emotional, my hair is horrible and dry and snapping which is making me more upset and im sneezing a lot more haha! Boobs are terrible and sore and im having so much watery discharge but im taking every day as a mini achievement!

Boyfriends birthday in three days so this will be a nice distraction, we are off for a day out then the following day a meal with his grandma so it’ll keep me occupied for a little while. Got all my appointments through from the midwife and hoping all goes okay!

Keeping everything crossed for you this cycle! X

@TinyDancer91 Hi I hope the break has helped and you are feeling better.

I am also feeling a bit better. I've come to terms that my journey starts with the extra step of getting AF back and sorting out my cycles! My first after the pill ended up being 40 days. I got some ovulation tests and I had some sort of surge two days ago but not sure if it's high enough for ovulation. If it is I guess I am in the TWW but if not I'm waiting indefinitely for the next AF.

Going to wait a couple of months to see if things reach something more normal before going to the GP so I can turn up with a bunch of graphs. Also going to keep some hope that it may just happen for us in the meantime.

Has anyone ever tested their progesterone? I saw it as a potential test option on Premom but wasn't sure what it would tell me.

@TinyDancer91 well done for doing that for yourself! I really hope it helped. happy ovulation day to you! out of my close friends who have had babies, one ended up needing ivf, another got pregnant naturally just before starting ivf, another (who is perfectly healthy) took a year to conceive her first. So just know that it WILL happen for you and soon!

im doing ok. I’m at 5dpo of my second cycle trying and I’m feeling all the feelings. Gonna test next Saturday at 12dpo. Can’t believe it’s a whole week away. Keep talking to my tummy telling the little zygote to implant 🤣

Well, still no luck over here, and my cycle seems ridiculously long. But dsis announced she was pregnant last week... no dp, total shock (to me) and just another thing to add to the list of ‘things she’s better than me at’.

Cd10 today and just had some jelly ewcm and it had a pink tinge. Hoping this means a good egg 🤞 only had ovulation spotting twice before. Opk this morning still negative but it must be on its way

Hi guys hope you don’t mind me joining me and my husband have started the journey we are cycle 1 and are DYD this week which is my fertile week I’m due period on 16th wish me luck !

Cycle 3 TTC #1. First time using premom. Is this normal?! 😟 I drink absolutely LOADS of water so don't know if that's also relevant, particularly for afternoon testing. Last month I used clear blue and definitely had a peak but I'm worried that this isn't normal...any advice?!

@thecoconutcat yeah I'd say the drinking could be affecting the afternoon one. Try again in the morning and see how it compares

Hi @thecoconutcat is it possible you just haven’t reached your peak just yet? I don’t tend to see my peak until around CD15/16 and this varies each month. My cycles are generally 26-29 days long. I wouldn’t worry, just keep doing what you’re doing and I’m sure you’ll see your peak soon ☺️

@thecoconutcat keep going! But definitely DTD every other day if you can. CD11 is still early. Here's one of my cycle's OPKs - the last couple of cycles it went from low to peak even quicker so don't panic

Thank you so much @LucyLoopyLu @mgwyegve for your support..its really helped me feel better. Its so hard to know what's normal! I definitely haven't reached my peak yet but was worried it should have happened already. We are DTD every other day since AF ended...fingers crossed!

@thecoconutcat hello! I used the premom easy@home tests and found them really good, i read online that the tests should be taken between 12PM and 6PM for the best results so i always did mine around 4pm, then on high days would test twice a day around 12pm and 5pm 🙂

I don’t know if it’ll make a difference but that’s how i did mine, my cycles were short though averaging 24 days and i got my peak around CD10/CD11. I used the clear blue alongside too and if the line was darker on the easy@home I tried the clearblue to see if i had a flashing or static smiley 🙂

I also found with the premom app the photos needed to be taken in true natural light, if i used the bathroom light or flash i didn’t get a true reading on the app. I know your probably doing that but thought id mention it, keep trying with the tests. My peak would come from nowhere and id go low high peak low .

Thanks so much @LauraA31 ! I have also read that afternoons are best but I'm always so well hydrated that I don't know if that's weakening my readings later in the day!! I do normally do my premom readings in natural light but this morning I had to leave home at 6am so had very artificial bathroom lighting, not ideal. Today CD12 premom showing as 'low' but clear blue had flashing smiley face, which suggests high LH...I'm so confused?!?!

@thecoconutcat I’m not 100% sure but I think the clear blue ones detect Estrogen as well as LH to identify fertile window so now is the time time to get down to business and you’ll probably see a spike very soon! 😀 fingers crossed happy news for you soon x

Yes the cleaeblue ones are better as they give you a longer window of opportunity due to testing for the 2 surges instead of just one

Hi ladies, I’d love to join! Me (34) and my SO (34) are TTC first time. Currently we’re on cycle 9, and tbh I think we’ll be moving onto cycle 10 soon…AF due in 2 days and getting all my usual PMS symptoms. So I completely sympathise with those of you who are taking a long time. Loads of my colleagues at work are pregnant or have recently gone on mat leave…it’s been hard watching them and keeping my emotions in check with disappointment month after month…

I’m wondering if I should try the easy@home as well 🤔 I was using some cheap ovulation strips I bought off Amazon but I never saw even a hint of a peak with them so I binned them after 2 months. Seems the easy@home ones are more reliable?

Hey ladies, I'd also love to join. My husband (34) and I (31) are just starting cycle 3. I have quite long (approx 46 +/-4 days) cycles which has proved tricky especially with PMS symptoms being very similar to early pregnancy symptoms! I've really been trying not to track properly to lower the stress levels but after using Natural Cycles to prevent for the past 3 years I'm pretty aware of my cycle and when things should be happening! Frustrating that it hasn't happened yet though.

Fairly new to mumsnet so not 100% on all the lingo and abbreviations. Is there a thread/post somewhere which explains what they all mean?

Good luck to those ladies trying this month, we're in it together!

Hi both newby good luck on your journey I hope you get that spark very soon
im also new on here just seeing what everyone else is feeling
im 31 and husband 39 first child cycle 1
my fertile window just finished we didint go mad as we just started and not sure what to expect so we only had sex twice 4 days apart
now the long 10-14 days wait

Welcome to all out new friends!

Again, apologies that I'm not as active on here at the moment. Trying to keep up but also trying to keep a balance at the moment, so sorry if I miss anything!

I am currently 5dpo (technically 6 as it's gone midnight!)

I opened up to a very trusted friend last weekend about how I was feeling. She was (and is) great and has helped me so much. She's also pregnant and told me that they were trying for a year for this one who is their 3rd. That gave me a little bit of hope.

I've decided that if this month is t the one for us (again!) that I'm going to make an appointment with the GP to try to get the ball rolling on some tests.

Hope everyone is doing ok. Who is in their TWW at the moment and when are you planning on testing? Are you going to test or just see if AF arrives?

Love & baby dust to all 💕✨

@TinyDancer91 I’m just going to wait for AF - either she’ll come or she won’t!

It’s great that you’ve got a friend you can trust to unload to. I’ve got a friend who is trying as well, and it’s nice to have someone who knows what you’re going through.

GP tests are definitely the way forward. I was having some issues a few months back with mid-cycle bleeding & bleeding after DTD, and my GP sent me for the works since we are TTC. Full blood panel, ultrasound, gynae appt (I’d already had a smear in Feb which was normal). Answered some questions and put my mind at ease.