First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

[TinyDancer91]

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here x

How's everyone doing? Just checking in...

I got a BFP this week! 😲

@Nyxxie thats so exciting!! Any symptoms?

Omg @Nyxxie that's amazing!!! Congrats!!!

Finally got my period after 3 months of no ovulation. Never been so happy for the pain in my life!

Hoping to ovulate this month and get the ball rolling again!

@Ejk1990 waiting is the worst! At least you can get started now. Keep us updated!

Nothing major just some fatigue, slightly swollen boobs and some bloating. Can't stop peeing on sticks just to make sure it's still there 🙈

Thank you ☺️

Brain dump time... I came off the pill in late March and had a BFP followed by a miscarriage at 6 weeks in April. I saw no reason not to try again straight away so started using OPKs which showed a surge on Sunday morning. We DTD on Sunday afternoon and Monday night but now I'm panicking that we missed it and (irrationally) that I'll never be pregnant. I know it's only early days but if anyone has any tips for coping with the stress and heartache of it all, I'd love to hear from you!

Hi @jellybeanjc!

Firstly, its amazing that you got a BFP so quickly after coming off the pill, but also sad that that one wasn't meant to be. I've read online that in a (rather twisted imo) way that miscarriage can be a good sign as it shows that you are able to get a BFP, it's just multiple miscarriages that are reason to worry.

I'm now in the middle of cycle 6 of TTC after being on the pill for 11 years, the first couple of cycles I was obsessed with OPKs and timings, but the more cycles I've gone through the more relaxed I am becoming - strange as you would think it should be the other way around! I'm still using OPKs, but more to keep track and help me to predict when AF will show up and when to test for a BFP/BFN, rather than using them to determine when to DTD.

I'm not by any means saying that it's any less disappointing or hurts my heart any less each time I get a BFN. I still want a BFP with all of my being, but I'm slowly accepting that I can't plan EVERYTHING in my life.

I hope that my mini-brain dump helps in some way, but also, that was the point of this thread when I set it up. Feel free to jump off-load at any time, even if it's something you don't need an answer to and just need to get out of your mind.

Baby dust to you all!!

Thank you so much for replying. I know logically I just need to calm down (and accept that I can’t control this...) - hopefully I'll follow in your footsteps and chill out over time. Need to stop with the OPK obsession too!! Fingers crossed for your BFP soon xxx

How's everyone doing? I currently have the TWW blues. Had a few random pains the last couple of days but trying to not read into it.

Anyone else feeling really tired lately? Not sure if it's the holiday come down or the changing weather at the moment...

Hi! @TinyDancer91 I am officially 1DPO now woo hoo.

Hope you have nice plans for the long weekend x

Hi @RMS0209 how are you doing? I'm now 7DPO but feels like 17!!

I've been feeling really weird the past few days, work up with the worst headache I've ever felt the other day, currently feel a bit sick after eating (or not eating and just being hungry), and every now & then feeling a bit out of it.

Again, trying not to read into it and get my hopes up (again!) but deep down I so want this to be our time. I feel almost like I'm losing hope at this point and we could do with some good news.

Baby dust to everyone!!

Hi @TinyDancer91 so sorry for not replying I must have read this then got into a rabbit hole haha.

Yay you must be 9DPO now are you? How are you doing? I am 6DPO (7DPO in 10 minutes) ha ha.

Those symptoms sound great, I try not to symptom spot anymore as I feel something and AF still appears so I just try to be silent those two weeks now ha ha

I really want this to be our month too, sending all the baby dust!!! X

@RMS0209 don't worry, I do that all the time 😂

Yes I'm 10dpo today, although AF can show up for me anywhere after 11dpo! 😬

I'm not convinced that how I've been feeling is actually linked to anything, don't think this will be our month if I'm completely honest 😔 I guess we'll find out in the next few days!!

I came across this in another thread, just in case it's useful for anyone...

@TinyDancer91
Thanks for the attachment, I actually have the link for that website in my phone.. but ever since that big ugly BFN in Jan I've not tested early since. Hurts less, silly I know.

Well fingers crossed AF stays away for you, roll on tomorrow so you can tell.
Why do you not think this month? Sorry if being rude. X

Hi everyone!

Hope I'm okay to join in here. I'm 27 my OH is 30. I came off of the combined pill at the end of January and we've been TTC #1 ever since. I've never been pregnant before and although I have no reason to think it at the moment I have always been anxious that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant. I have very regular 27/28 day cycles and light/moderate periods. I have just finished my fertile period so currently in the TWW... This will be our 4th cycle and I know that it's really not a long time to be trying but I can't help but think it just won't happen for me. Has anyone else felt this way? Trying to stay positive but it is difficult sometimes!

We aren't telling anyone that we're TTC to avoid putting any pressure on things.

@RMS0209 no, not being rude at all! I just get the feeling that it's not going to happen this month... can't really explain why 🤔

Completely understand why you wouldn't want to test early, wish I had that self control!

@mgwyegve welcome! I feel the same way, plus the more cycles we go through the more I worry that I won't ever be able to conceive 😢 it's been one of my biggest fears for as long as I can remember...

I'm finding it hard to be excited about TTC at the moment if I'm honest, at first I was buzzing and couldn't wait, but now I'm starting to struggle with the fear of not being able to 😔

Thanks so much for your reply. Do you mind me asking how long you've been trying?

It's a horrible feeling isn't it, I know that logically I haven't been trying long and it can take quite a while but I just can't shake the feeling. I have no reason to think there's anything wrong it's just a fear I've always had.

I'm finding it hard to be excited too... initially I was over the moon to start TTC. I had had abnormal cells on my cervical screening for 2 years so once that came back all clear I couldn't wait to make a start... Now I just feel worried allll the time!

I purchased a Fertilily cup this cycle which we've used during the fertile window so will see if that's made a difference at all... And now we wait! 🙃

Hi @mgwyegve

Welcome.
This is a happy little thread 🙂
I'm 28.

Best thing to do is not tell people, be in your own little bubble.
I am on cycle 6 x

@TinyDancer91 we are staying optimistic remember! everything crossed for you for no AF tomorrow. X

@mgwyegve we started trying properly in Jan, so we've been through 6 cycles now (or will have when AF arrives this month)

Logically, there's no reason I should be doubting it either, it's just hard being the youngest of 5 siblings and the only one now without kids. I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself to be honest! I'm a bit of an overachiever and don't like to think that there is something I can't do 😂

Thanks @RMS0209! I do try to stay positive normally, just having a rough few days I think, I'll come out the other side, I always do 😊 lots going on for me this week so potential AF really not helping! 😂 AF could show up any time between tomorrow & Thursday based on my normal cycles. Tested today and got a BFN but only 10dpo so part of me knows there is still hope even if the other part of me is crushed by the BFN. Trying to hold out testing again now until at least Thursday!

Love & baby dust to all 💕✨

Hello. May I join please? We are preparing to TTC in the coming months. I am 29 and DH is 31, this would be our first attempt and pregnancy.

I have been using the Flo app for some time, my cycle lengths are between 25 and 26 days.

I was a little worried about fertility and whether I should freeze eggs (dramatic I know) but I wanted to be sure we would be ok and I did a blood test with Hertility. All came back good and I am now taking folic acid and vitamin D to prepare. I have ordered the OPKs but I'm hoping to try a couple of months first without them to see how we go/not to put to much pressure on it.

Any other tips, I'm all ears. Wishing you all lots of luck and sending love x

@TinyDancer91 How are you doing today?

HI @Glawen thats funny, me and OH are 28 + 30 (both 29 + 31 this year!)
Sounds like a good cycle length...I am currently on cycle day 33.

Thats fab news about your tests! you must be delighted.
What OPK's have you ordered?
Keep your feet cosy... cosy feet = cosy womb x