First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

[TinyDancer91]

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here x

@tinydancer91 thanks for the support! I got as far as signing up to a new doctor (same one as my DH and much closer to our new house) so will hopefully be able to book an appointment this week. I hope you're doing okay. xx

Hi Everyone, please can I join the group? I am TTC#1 and we are on cycle 5, currently 4DPO. I am 30 and my partner is 32. Like the original post, we have agreed not to tell anyone. My periods can be irregular and I don't want the extra pressure of friends and family asking if I am pregnant yet. Today was my last CD21 blood test. Thankfully I have a really understanding doctor and she was happy to run ovulation tests once I had the coil removed in September. All have so far shown that I have ovulated, granted at different times each month, but ovulated nonetheless 😁 I used OPKs for the first time this cycle - we managed to DTD 2 days running up to ovulation, on ovulation and 2 days after. Is there such a thing as too much sex? Now the symptoms spotting begins - hate this bit. Has anyone found a good technique to not obsess during the TWW?

Good luck to everyone - just remember there are lots of us playing the waiting game 😊

Hi all, hope you are happy for me to join in :-). My husband and I are 28 (29 this year) and are planning to start ttc soon.
We were both completely naive to it all and assumed you could pretty much fall pregnant having sex on any day of the month - I have learnt so much the last month or so and I am in shock lol! I do worry about maintaining a pregnancy as I have lupus anticoagulant which increases risk of miscarriage, I will probably speak to GP soon to see if there is anything else I should be thinking about!
I have started pregnancy multi vits but I need to wait until the end of April / beginning of May before ttc as I won’t be eligible for enhanced maternity pay until then (need to be with employer for 1 year at 29 weeks of pregnancy - I had been with my employer 6 years but left for a few months and returned so it is a bit annoying now having to wait but the difference with stat pay is huge so really we need to wait!).

I am bridesmaid for my bestie next year abroad, which is great and I can’t wait, but I do worry she will be unhappy with me bringing a baby along. Due to this I have worked out I can only try for 2 cycles before needing to stop and wait else I would be due to close to the wedding (I want baby to at least have 1st imms before any travel).

Now we have decided we are ready though, I cannot think of anything else and I am getting obsessed which I also worry about as I know stressing about it won’t help! We aren’t telling anyone we are TTC as I worry it could take a while and I don’t want the added pressure, so it’s nice to have an outlet here.

Congrats to all those with BFPs and big hugs to those going onto their next cycles xx

@taytay2020 at least that's progress! I'm doing ok, AF arrived today a day later than expected for the first time ever, so not sure how I feel about that just yet. I knows it's probably 100% natural and normal and it was only a day but it still sucks!

Also, after this month, AF is next due on my birthday, so it's either going to be a great birthday or a crappy one, depending on what happens 😂

Welcome @AdaJones26 and @Ellswells3!

It's great to have you both with us and can't wait to hear more about your journeys

This thread has gone quiet, but needed a place to have a little vent so here I am! Just been wrapping up presents for my friend's baby who is due next month and felt a bit emotional, wishing they were for my own baby 😢

4dpo on cycle 3 now wishing for it to be my turn soon! How is everyone else doing?

Hey @Nyxxie

It's hard isn't it! I love being around my friends kids but so wishing I had my own too... hopefully it will be our turn soon.

I had another bfn this month. Just starting cycle 5 but we are going to Cyprus in 3 weeks so we'll be away the next time AF is due 😬 fingers crossed she doesn't appear!

I've been a bit preoccupied the past few weeks as it was my nieces first birthday, my birthday and my mum had a cancer scare. Lots going on in the next few months too!

I also quit my second job last week and start a new one next week! (Second job as main is self-employment)

Joining this thread as decided to TTC, Both 39 but worried it’s all a little late for our first!

Welcome @Norfolk1983!

A friend of mine didn't have her first until she was mid 40s, you never know unless you try! Fingers crossed for you

Hi! My tag name says it all! Hope it's ok to join this chat. AF got me yesterday and feeling disappointed x

@TinyDancer91 such a good idea to create this thread, can I join too? 29 and ttc for #1.

We were strongly in the ‚let‘s just chill and DTD frequently’ camp but starting to realise that it will likely require some more effort than that 😂
Gone from not sure if want baby yet to really wanting one…

@Nyxxie I feel you so much ! Lots of babies in my family and even when I wasn‘t ready I still felt a little odd/upset/awkward whenever I spent long stretches of time with them and their parents. (Probably didn’t help that everyone was always pestering us to have our own, acting as if we are not a ‚real‘ married couple!)

Hey guys,

Is it ok to join?

I'm in a bit of a weird place. I'm 35 my OH is 41.

I am extremely broody and desperate to start trying but he wants to wait a couple of months (while the garden and driveway is being done)

Sorry if tmi but on Sunday we were DTD and he started climaxing inside me so I pulled away. I'm in my fertile window and was shocked. He said he did it because I've been so down recently.
Anyway fast forward and the next day we DTD and he pulls out. And later says he still wants to wait until June.

I think he really wants it, but is nervous about it.

I am all kinds of confused. Such a rollercoaster. I just want to be TTC.

Anyway, because he started to climax, I am actually wondering if I might be in the TWW. Who knows.

Thanks for reading. Needed the brain dump!

Hi @TinyDancer91 , nice to hear from you. Definitely sounds like you've got a lot going on! Hope your mum is ok, and that everything else has been a nice distraction from TTC!

A holiday to Cyprus sounds amazing, hope you have a great time ☺️ You hear so many stories of people conceiving on holiday when they are relaxed and not thinking about it, so fingers crossed the effect extends to pre-holiday for you!

[quote Hebe9219]@Nyxxie I feel you so much ! Lots of babies in my family and even when I wasn‘t ready I still felt a little odd/upset/awkward whenever I spent long stretches of time with them and their parents. (Probably didn’t help that everyone was always pestering us to have our own, acting as if we are not a ‚real‘ married couple!)[/quote]I know what you mean, especially as my OH and I aren't married so definitely feel the not "real" couple vibes sometimes. We have however been together almost 10 years and have a house and a dog so that's real enough for us!

Hey everyone,

Got a bit of confusion here today.

Yesterday AF arrived 5 days early, somewhere between light brown and darkish brown colour, not enough to say I've properly started my period, maybe like what you would see in the last couple of days.

I really don't want to get my hopes up that it would be an implantation bleed. My cycles are very regular, im never ever early, maybe once in a blue moon a day early. We came back from a hot holiday yesterday I'm wondering if temperature could've affected it? I have breast tenderness and super mild cramping, it all just sounds like AF right?

I took a test today but BFN. Also thinking if it was implantation then I wouldn't test positive yet?

Someone just let me know what they think because I'm driving myself crazy telling myself I'm not pregnant!! Haha

Hi @Zubi!

I think it depends on how many dpo you are as to whether you will get a bfp or bfn. Fingers crossed for you, please keep us updated!

AF is now 2 days late for me. Trying not to get my hopes up as I'm currently on holiday in sunny Cyprus!! Trying to convince myself to hold off until Friday before getting a test... what do you guys think? We're on holiday with my parents as well who know nothing about us TTC, so really trying not to let anything show!!

Please help to keep me sane!! 😘💕

@TinyDancer91 i was 14 DPO when the brown ?bleed started happening. I’m not sure if this means it’s just AF. Normally AF arrives day 28 in my cycle, very routine so 5 days early is confusing for me.

that’s so exciting that it’s late! Any symptoms? When do you fly back to test!!

Hey @Zubi no words of advice because this is all new to me, but have you taken any more tests? I think if you’re 14dpo you’d expect them to start being positive. Good luck!

@Ellswells3 no more tests as I'm at work today and woke up late haha. I have a feeling I ovulated later this month. I wasn't testing but normally I get ovulation pain, I had what I think was this later than when Flo app predicted my ovulation (the prediction is normally right).

Today even less of the bleed, if this is just my body playing tricks on me I will be sad!!

We had my birthday, family parties and a holiday this month, with all the excitement I forgot to test ovulation and now my periods being very different to usual I'm probably just overthinking!

Oh bless you - you’ve had a busy month! May not be overthinking it, fingers crossed you get your BFP!! Maybe test in a few days time and use FMU!

I am the worst for symptom spotting, I use Flo to work out my dates but next month may start using OPKs if no luck because I am second guessing ovulation so much!! I wanted to be ‘relaxed’ about it, but I am not a relaxed person lol!

No symptoms. At least none that I have noticed. We only flew out on Monday and we're here for 2 weeks!

@Ellswells3 I'm the same! Wanted to be so chill about the whole process but I'm so not!! Plus I was on the pill for about 11 years with no periods at all, so really rubbish at knowing how long my cycle would be coming off. I started using OPKs to help me work out my cycle length and predict when AF would pay a visit. Which ones are you thinking of using?

AF reared her ugly head today 😩 guessing the travelling must have affected me a bit...

@Zubi any news from you? X

@TinyDancer91 I'm the exact same 😭 started heavily today, I think it must have been the heat and the travel for me too. At least we're in the same boat!

AF sucks!! Was really hoping this would be the time!

Fingers crossed for us both next month x