Waiting to TTC,any one else in similar sitch??

[Wannabamummy]

Hi all

am looking for ppl in similar situation who are waiting to start TTC, interested to hear when thay are planning to start, reasons for waiting etc!

I am waiting to TTC as DP and i have agreed due to number of reasons, holiday in aug and trying to get ourselves better off financially, getting head straigh after mc in july, spending time together... Would just like to hear from those in similar boat, would be nice to get excited with someone!! sometimes feel an intruder being here hope no one minds!

Hi Wanna,

Lol re: feeling like an intruder! Me too...but we're on here for a reason I suppose. I'll have to wait at LEAST a year, and even then it depends on how hard I work to pay off debts etc. I started a similar thread ages ago[broody but skint, at the bottom of Conception] which got loads of lovely replies about waiting/not waiting etc. Obviously your reasons were more serious though.

Good luck & I hope you don't have to wait too long!

Hello ladies,

I am waiting around too and feel like a bit of an intruder here! Basically joined MN in June 2007 and ever since my feelings about having a baby have got stronger and stronger. At the moment I am waiting for a couple of reasons. There is the possibility of me getting a new job [should find out Feb time] and if that happens I will prob have to put of ttc until towards the end of next year. If the job does not materialise, I think we might go for it March/April/May time..... It is really tough not knowing and having these two paths but not knowing which we will be going down!! Also quite a few friends/family members have recently announced preg and it has made me really sad because I thought it would be our turn next. We have been together for 8 years! Oh well, what will be will be I suppose.
Sorry for the essay but I will happily join this thread if you'll have me

Ps. Hello Tooyoung! [how's the cat?]

Anyone about - or did I scare you all off?!
Merry Xmas btw, can't believe it is tomorrow...

Hi all - I'm a newbie who has also decided that dispite being broody I should wait to TTC.

My father is dreadfully ill and we're having to bring our wedding forward to make sure he can give me away , so all in all with the stress of everything it isn't a good time to be trying.

It just doesn't seem right, getting married and trying for our first baby was supposed to be such a happy time but it feels so tinged with sadness.

I'm trying to look at the delay as an opportunity to really prepare for pregnancy and babyhood so will probably be post vast numbers of random questions!

Big welcome Puss....sorry to hear about your father - it sounds like you are having a tough time of it.
I think this is a good place to get excited about ttc though and to ask lots of questions too. I've been hanging around for a while and have asked quite a few already. It is nice to have some company while we decide when is the right time.....I keep thinking yeah let's do it in a few months then nah......let's not! I'm sure I'll know when the time is right.
Anyway, keep the convo going ladies. Ttc is not an easy thing to talk about with real life friends, so MN is a great place to be

Thanks for the welcome Cosmo

Actually been talking about babies with DP tonight - he's more broody than me, as long as we're talking about ttc in the future and not next month

Hi guys

I have just started TTC and was going to wait till we were financially stable or until after my next holiday etc but have come to the conclusion that there is always going to be some reason not to. I just think you will cope and a baby will be so worth missing a holiday etc! I dont think you will ever have enough money saved in the bank x lol

I think you have a point there, babydust....good luck with ttc.
Hope everyone has an enjoyable NYE and let's hope 2008 brings lots of luck for us all and bfps... See you next year!

Hey all apologies for lack of replying, merry xmas and happy new year one and all! ive been away from work and my aptop is being fixed atm so cxan only get on hwere at work!! how naughty its killing me to be on all the time!! oh well!

Welcome to you all, its so nice that your all here in one way, but im sad for those of you who have some sad reasons for waiting, puss i know how you feel in one way, both of my parents passed away, so if i can be of any help please let me know.

Apologies for the essay guys, so happy were all here to get broody and TTC together [Grin] xxx

hello everyone. i'm sort of in the same boat as i'm supposed to be waiting to start ttc but i've already kicked off things like charting and using OPKs. no luck so far though! we're waiting to start ttc because we need to move house and have been trying to sell our house. sadly, the house market around here is almost non-existent and it looks like it will be ages before we get a buyer. also, i had a lovely baby boy back in may and it might be better to wait until he's a little older. however (and this is the real issue), i'm 39 now and so feel as though i don't have much time left and with every month that passes, i've missed an opportunity and it could end up being too late for me (if it isn't already). i've started charting and using OPKs because i want to see how my body is working now - my periods still haven't gone back to their pre-pregnancy way of operating and i'm not even sure that i'm actually ovulating. so right now, i should be waiting before ttc properly but i've started already and while a BFP might come along sooner than expected, i would be over the moon if that happened.

good luck to everyone - hope we don't have to wait too much longer!

Miscarried at the end or October and now 2 months pregnant, we too also decided to wait - but people say when you relax about it all and let be what will be, it will happen, clearly they were right.

Good luck to you all - hope 2008 brings you what you wish for!

Katelyn.

Welcome furtively and Katelyn!

Katelyn so sorry for you MC, i know that pain sadly, but congrats on your PG!

Im gklad there are other ppl here now, although i should be working!

Cosomogirl i know exactly the feeling when you say that your feelings keep getting strongerthats EXACTLY how i feel!

ive actually complicated things for myself tho, as i have arranged a job interview for monday night, although its nt for sure ill get it / accept it, im definately getting my coil removed july, does anyone know much about the procedure? would i be better to go to my #GP or a sexual health clinic? xx

Hi Guys,

I am new to this website and it is lovely to find a thread with people trying to decide whether or not to take the plunge and start their family. I would love to have a family. I have been with my husband for 9 years and we have been married for over 3 years and it feels the right time, we are more than ready for our next adventure together and both really would love a family. But, financially, there is no way we can right now. We are young, so there is no rush, but that doesn't make it easier to deal with the desire to have kids. We don't own our own house yet (although we rent a lovely 3 bed house in a nice area)and we would rather be on the property ladder first but can't see this happening for a few more years. So maybe buying will just have to wait, but even if it does, we still have too many outstanding financial obligations to be able to cut my salary quite yet.

We are hoping that in about 6 months time when I will have finished paying for my car and we have slightly more money in our pockets that we will be able to decide. We will however, be forced to choose between kids or owning property, at least for the next 5 years or so, I am sure both are achievable in the long term.

If we decide to buy, there is no way we can save the 10k we still need to buy and have kids. Also a mortgage (on a much smaller place than we currently rent)will be much more money a month than rent, so buying would mean increasing our outgoings, making the kid thing even harder to afford!

However, if we do have kids instead of buying it will probably be years until we can afford to buy, which in turn, makes it even harder to get on the property ladder. So maybe it is more sensible to do the house thing first. But living daily with the desire to have kids and the only thing that stops you is money, can be and is heart-breaking.

All I know is that if I could only have either the house or kids, I would go for kids every time. Having a family means more to me than owing bricks and mortar. Still its a big decision to make.

Anyone else in a simliar situation?

P.S Sorry for the rather long post!

Thanks WannabeMummy that's really sweet - it's strange, everything that has / is happening with my dad has really emphasied how much I want to start my own family, up until around 25 I was very anti children (am now 27) but I guess it comes to us all at some point.

DP and I have agreed that we'll start ttc after my 28th birthday so next August / September, but you know what they say 'you make plans and god laughs'

Playingthewaitinggame - we're in a similar position, lucky enough to be on the housing market but in a small 2 bed. There is no way we can afford to upgrade to a 3 bed, but we're working on the basis that people have a limited window for baby making but a lifetime to buy bigger houses.

As long as you can provide your child with some security is having your name on the mortgage that important - in a number of countries renting is the norm, it's just a national obsession here to own your own place.

Sorry - long

Evening ladies,

Playingthewaitinggame - it is a really tough one to know whether to start a family. I have been thinking about it for a while, and like you, I have been with DH a long time (8 years) and we will celebrate our third wedding anniversary in a few months time. I too feel we are ready to move to the next level and start our family. Nonetheless I want to make sure we are OK financially. It isn't an easy balance to strike at all but sometimes I think you have to let your heart rule rather than your head. Like Pussinboots says, it is a national obsession to own property but it isn't the be all and end all....Ah well, at least we can all think this one over in good company! In other news I bought folic acid at the supermarket today....female hormones are seriously powerful things.

Cosmo - if I came home with folic acid I think DP who have a complete melt-down.

But then I have a habit of agreeing a timescale with him for something and then changing my mind and bringing it forward 6 months - makes the poor boy very twitchy sometimes

I did tell DH and he did look a bit concerned! I feel like this crazy maternal lady - it is tres odd. Just watched a bizarre documentary about women who buy fake babies and push them around in prams - they are called reborns. One of the strangest documentaries I've seen....

Hi gals!have name changed from wannabbeamummy, but its still me!!

i was gonna watch the baby thing Cosmo but as per usual i fell asleep, was it good? can anyone who watched it tell me how they work? i think people who do such things, which are obviously time consuming and expensive, would probably be better off having a real one eh?!
WElcome puss in boots with claws, I know the feeling about money and houses, myself and my partner are both in debt one way or the other but we are working really hard this year to get out of it, and have both promised we wont start TTC until we both hve a month where we arent in our overdrafts. In regards to property we were faced with exactly the same decision, baby or house and we've decided to stay renting, as in the long run although we arent gaining a property we have less to loose, at least for the moment, im one of these who doesnt cope too well with too much pressure, so i thionk moving again would leave me a basket case! as it is we have a nice house in a nice area so im not too worried.

Cosmo we seem to have loads in common, im forever agreeing timescales with DP and bringing them forward he he i already have prenatal vits in my bathroom cabinet he he!

Apologies for the long post, as i said i gotta do this from work, lap top should be back soon tho!!! xxx

I don't think I'll be able to bring things forward this time though - DP and I are not even talking right now (unheard of for us) due to extensive arguements about the arrangements for our very difficult and slightly complicated wedding.

If I don't post again I've decided I've had enough and become a hermit living up a tree somewhere

Oh no, Puss, that's not good! But I understand, weddings are VERY stressful. And it must be much harder with your situation and having to bring it forward. I loved getting married but would never want to go through that again - once is definitely enough for a lifetime imo!

Broodybaby - good name change! The fake baby thing for me was just frankly weird.....each to their own, but I just don't see why someone would push an inanimate object around in a pram.....if you want a baby and feel maternal yearnings, surely the natural thing to do is try for one.....

We are now talking but I have to confess that I have told him to organise the damn thing himself as I don't want to start the year arguing.

Is it wrong that I no longer care about my wedding day and just want it over and done with so I can get on with being his wife

I didn't see the documentary but have read a bit about it on here and do find the whole thing a little disturbing if I'm honest. Did any of them actually mention why they didn't have real babies?

We are now talking but I have to confess that I have told him to organise the damn thing himself as I don't want to start the year arguing.

Is it wrong that I no longer care about my wedding day and just want it over and done with so I can get on with being his wife

I didn't see the documentary but have read a bit about it on here and do find the whole thing a little disturbing if I'm honest. Did any of them actually mention why they didn't have real babies?

I don't think it's wrong to feel like that at all. So many people get carried away with obsessing about the wedding day and forget about the most important bit that follows that one day - the marriage that will last the rest of your lives [God willing].

One woman on the documentary said she didn't want kids because she was so busy having fun, going on holidays etc that she had never found time to stop and do it. Also, she said something else which I basically interpreted as her being afraid of the unknown and what she couldn't control. But it was sad because she clearly wanted children and was using these dolls as substitutes - and how can a doll be a substitute for a human being?? [confused smiley]

Another of the case studies was a woman who had a baby made to look like her grandson who had emigrated to New Zealand at aged 3. He had lived with her most of his life and she missed him. All the men in the doc were very anti the whole thing.

Hi Ladies,

Thanks everyone. Its nice to know I am not alone.

Most of my mates are single and are far from thinking about kids (I dont have any friends with any children) so the vast majority think owning a house first is the "right way" to do it and having kids at my age is madness. Mind you only two of my friends own a place and they were both given help with deposits, one of them was given 110k, the majority still house share like students even though some are early thirties!

It seems beyond most peoples comprehension that I am even thinking about kids yet as we are all "too young". Well I have always been too young, people said that when I got engaged, when I moved out of home and when I got married, so nothing new there, just because they are still desperately trying to hold onto their youth and refusing to acknowledge the fact that they are actually adults now! And since when is mid 20's too young, there are so many people on here younger than me that actually it is quite liberating.

I have a feeling this site might give me the strength to go for it as soon as we have sorted out our finances.

Puss in Boots: Planning a wedding is incredibly stressful (although I loved planning mine, but I am a bit weird) Good luck with it all, occassional bust ups with Hubby-to-be is only to be expected!