Entering into 8th cycle..

[Indianna2006]

Entering into 8th cycle…ttc number 2.

Feeling defeated and deflated even though I know odds are still on our side really..
I already have a DD who is 3 years 9 months so very much feel time is of the essence. Just desperate for it to happen now.

Feel like either people seem to fall super fast or seem like 12 months plus and don’t find many “in the middle” types.

Ive fallen pregnant 1st cycle before. And then DD took 7 cycles. So hence why this failed 7th cycle seems like a miserable milestone!

Anyone welcome to keep me company. Sucks 😫

Omg just catching up on thread @FlyOnTheWall89 a big congratulations what beautiful news so happy for you 💕🥰

@FlyOnTheWall89 that's a lovely way to tell him! You must be on cloud 9! How have you been feeling so far?

@Indianna2006 good idea to pack tests...it would be torture if AF is late 🤞🏼 and you don't have any with you. A holiday will be a good distraction until then anyway!

@FlyOnTheWall89 @OK92

well I done exactly what I shouldn’t have done…🤣😩

tested today with a FRER and thought well it will be blank. So then I can trust any future lines.

I think I can see a squinter..but it’s most likely an evap right. Telling myself it’s an evap. Altho I haven’t had any evaps on frers other than cycle 2 a year ago and who knows maybe it was a chemical and not an evap…

ugh why have I done this. 10 dpo. 10.5 dpo max. WAY too early.

🤦🏻‍♀️

I’ve officially lost my head…🤦🏻‍♀️🤯🤣

I do see something @Indianna2006 - hard to see if it's got colour. I'm not a big tester but when I have tested it's been sheet white. I feel like that is clearly not sheet white. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@FlyOnTheWall89 Ffs 🙈🙈 kicking myself for not waiting now. I was waiting until like 14dpo so there be a strong ish line an no question.

all other cycles I’ve waited until 12dpo to test and had faint but more obvious pink lines. So as it’s 10dpo it could well be a genuine early one. But just not gonna know for a few days.

we off on holiday tomorrow though. So I only got one more frer and cheap ones I’m packing. Will test again 13/14dpo if AF hasn’t arrived 🤦🏻‍♀️

hopefully holiday will keep me distracted from testing and DH will be so close by I won’t be able to sneakily do it early haha

@Indianna2006 I see something too, and haven't personally had an evap ever before...🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Do you know you're 10DPO based on temping?

@OK92 yes I know I’m 10dpo based on temping and I feel ovulation pain.

i think it’s an indent line maybe..but then my other frers I’ve used lots and lots of times have been blank.

i shall just wait out 3/4 days and see if AF comes

Any news @Indianna2006 ? Hope holiday is going well.

@Kiaa @OK92 Today I feel very not pregnant. I'm 6 weeks. You guys are either pregnant or have been pregnant before. Is this okay?!? Should I be worrying? Xx

@FlyOnTheWall89 I wouldn't worry - everyone is so different. Other than cramping on and off my symptoms didn't kick in fully until about 6.5 weeks. They've been much worse than my first pregnancy which was very symptomless!

Do you think you'll get a private scan?

@OK92 thank you 💕. I'm having one on Friday which I'm excited and nervous for, especially when I don't have strong symptoms, but as you say, maybe that is normal for me for this pregnancy. Hope you're okay xx

@FlyOnTheWall89
All should be fine hun 6 weeks still early for big symptoms to come I only remember been bloated then the nausea kicked in for me after Xx

@FlyOnTheWall89 AF showed up so it was obv an indent or something not meant to be 😩 maaah feels hopeless

yws don’t worry like others said 6 weeks is early ish. And even later on. Symptoms comes and go. You can be gagging one moment down super market aisle and next minute feel great

xxx

@Indianna2006 oh sorry to hear AF turned up. Try to enjoy your holiday - you'll be back in that TWW in no time xx

@FlyOnTheWall89 ❤️ Thanks. It’s so hard to not be disheartened. Can’t expect to fall pregnant each cycle. I just don’t want it to be months and months.

mentally it’s so hard to compare where I’d of been and I know if I get to my november due date. I just don’t think I can take it. Think it may be end of our journey by then. And we accept its just us 3. This age gap is just getting so big and the loss of control of being able to provide her a sibling is getting really hard. ☹️

Im really trying to just breathe and think each week as it comes. An hope time passes quickly. Like you said another two week wait. Another chance. But ugh.

@Indianna2006 sorry AF showed 😞 hopefully holiday is a nice distraction and the fertile window will begin again when you're back. So frustrating that it can happen for you one month and then not the next despite nothing being different. Are you both still on supplements etc?

@FlyOnTheWall89 good luck with your scan, how exciting (I was terrified before my early one too). I'm sure all will be well, keep us posted!

@OK92 yes were both still taking supplements. Still doing all the same stuff. And using fertilily each month. Altho this was first cycle I used it which I didn’t get pregnant.
but I know statically not every fertilised egg will implant. So just hoping using that means they are getting there. And I’m just waiting for the right one to implant which will actually turn into my baby.

I’m so anxious and can’t stop fretting about the two losses and am I gonna keep repeating them. Like is there something wrong with me. But I guess that’s normal to worry about that. When my overriding experiences is losses and not successful pregnancies. Doesn’t seem likes it’s possible I will actually get a baby. Even though clearly I can get pregnant.

😩😩

@Indianna2006 how are you doing? The anxiety over previous losses is completely understandable. You have had a successful pregnancy before though and you will again. Just a horrible painful waiting game and I'm sorry you are going through it.

Will you do anything differently when you do conceive next time (aspirin or progesterone)? I don't know much about it myself but have read about it before. Hope your next cycle is the lucky one 🤞🏼

@OK92 pretty rubbish tbh. Feel like I was doing better before and now it’s just a bit of slump.

well I was taking aspirin with the last pregnancies and both times I fell. As think I have reduced blood flow to my pelvis due to my pelvis issue and clotting history in my family. But obviously not like it make any difference to the success of a pregnancy.

so I’m really not sure. Part of me feels like it will just happen again and not sure I can do all of it over again.

we gonna keep going for next couple of months but once DD starts full time school. I think maybe I’m done after 18 months of ttc and just accept it’s perhaps not meant to be. But we shall see what happens until then 🤞🏼

@Indianna2006 I completely understand. It has been such a tough time for you and you've been so positive.... you can definitely allow yourself time to just feel a bit shit. Sending you hugs x

@FlyOnTheWall89 thank you. I know. I feel very defeated and like it won’t happen atm. Like is it getting too late for us? Then I think don’t be stupid…It doesn’t matter. She’s only 4..not bloody 15 😩 I just wanted it like a year ago. It’s so hard isnt it.

I just cannot cope with 11 more cycles of this before another BFP. Not gonna lie think I may self combust.

I know I can get pregnant I think..I just don’t know how long I have to wait. Do I have another year. That’s what I can’t even bear.

Anyway I’ll shut up for now. Moaning about it changes nothing does it.

hope your getting on okay. I shall be back and update if anything remotely exciting happens which I doubt it will 🙄🤷🏻‍♀️

5 days late, then as usual the hope is gone.
I'm so tired of trying, tracking, timing and getting my hopes up.
I'm so tired of constant disappointment.
Why can literally everyone else conceive accidentally or within the first couple of months?
Why is everyone around me pregnant or cradling a newborn?
Why does everyone have to comment 'she needs a brother or sister' or 'you better get your skates on.....'
Why is it so unfair??????
Just sick of this now.
Sorry for the moan, just having a really down day.

@Teachermummy83 sorry. It is super hard. Sending go luck your way.

@OK92 @FlyOnTheWall89 how are you both getting on? 🥰

@Kiaa you must be nearly due I imagine. If I remember right think you were due September. Not long now!

xx

@Indianna2006 Yes 36 weeks count down is on can barely move theses days 😂 , due September 5th but maybe having induction 39 weeks 🥰
How are you getting on ? Xx

@FlyOnTheWall89 @OK92 hope you both are going well xx

@Indianna2006 @Kiaa I'm good thanks girls. Just about over the sickness now and feeling more normal which is lovely. I've got my scan on Monday which I'm super nervous about. Fingers crossed all is okay... still feels really abstract despite having a small bump already.

How are you feeling @Indianna2006 ?

Will be thinking of you @Kiaa , hope all goes well xx