"It's been 84 years" infertile donkeys ahoy, all aboard! Not a fertile unicorn insight bus 5

[notyetamumbuttrying]

Buckling up for the ride of their lives, our infertile donkeys 🐗and their stats below:
@Annny27 29, no1 since June 19
@RobinRose 27, no1 since Oct 2019
@kerrym87 34 no1 since sept19

@Motherofkittens28 39 no 1 since aug19
@Yutes 34 no1 since aug19
@Crazydoglady123 32 no2 jan19, ivf in April21!
@Marvellouslymadmum 42 no3 since April 18
@Tofu35 35 no1 since sep19
@Hayley19835 38 no1 oct18
@Narwhal88 32, no1 since jun19
@Dogmum13 29 no1 since dec19
@SlothMamaToBe
@Theawkwardblonde no1 for 18 months
@CreativeThinkerTequilaDrinker 15 months ttc ivf in June, ov 8th April
@2020mission 33 no1 14 months ttc
@Sjhigs 37 no1 since sep18 ivf consult mid April
@crazycatlady1981 39 no1 since Oct18, ivf in May
@PeanutButterBrownies
@Juno231 33 no1 since jan20
@clolo 31 no1 since jun19
@Aimzie 28 no1 4 years NTNP 22 months ttc
And me 😊 35 ttc no1 for 19 months

@2020mission I do hope everything progresses well for you and @Annny27 yours too!

@Crazydoglady123 ooh that's amazing! So hopeful for you! Great about the frozen ones too!

@notyetamumbuttrying ooh good luck for testing tomorrow!

@Theawkwardblonde glad everything's going ok!

@Motherofkittens28 my af his started today too though only this evening so guess tomorrow should be cd1 really but on to the next cycle!

@polejunkie sorry you had a wobble today

Evil pain is here for me with af been in agony all day, hurt to walk/sit/stand that wa a edit with even started! My oh said earlier that maybe I should go back on the pill until they've checked for endo so I'm not in pain - the death stare he got in return was enough for him to retract the statement 😂 I said I'd rather be in agony for a few days each month than have no chance at all plus I don't think he understands the age issues either!

Hope there's space on the bus for meeeeee.
TTC No1 since May 2019 officially waiting for the IVF funding letter to come through from NHS. Am I even allowed on thr bus?! 🤔

@Motherofkittens28 how was the trial? You must be getting very excited now, I bet it’s nice to have a different focus too 🙂

I don’t know what my problem is, most of the time I’m fine but the reality of natural conception being left behind and IVF starting, but not for what feels like ages still, I think I just feel in limbo. Also now have social plans coming in thick fast and not sure how to tackle them without having to give everyone a complete lowdown, was easier in lockdown tbh 😩

I just want to say to all of you that this is such a hard journey and I take my hat off to you all, ttc is so hard and rarely discussed yet you get up everyday and put a smile on (or try to!) despite the emotional struggle you’re in and it takes a special kind of someone to keep on trucking, I hope you all have support in real life but reach out on here when the going gets tough, there’s nothing like sounding off to someone who actually ’gets it’ x

@XPeach123 welcome, always room on the bus, although it feels more like a shite donkey ride at times 🤣

@notyetamumbuttrying, @polejunkie the trial was really good, I'm super happy with my hair. I'll try to post a picture

Omg @Motherofkittens28 your hair 😍😍😍 It's beautiful! Is it all natural?

@polejunkie thank you lovely. It's a tough journey isn't it. I too found that limbo stage waiting for the ivf to start so, so hard! Have you got a date when yours is starting?

Omg its beautiful @motherofkittens28 ❤❤❤

@Motherofkittens28 wow 🤩 absolutely beautiful!!

@Crazydoglady123 down regs in about 3 weeks, so I know it’s not that long to wait but I’m in a phase of ‘nothing’ again right now, feel like time is whizzing that really gets me down. I know it’s the same for everyone and I know I’m not alone but what kills me is the potential of no baby after it all 😩

@paintfairy ouch, doesn't sound fun at all! Who knows if it's sensitivity or not, plus we all react differently to things. Day 5 of injections now and I'm definitely feeling a difference. Mild headache still and also feel a bit loopy, like talking at speed, jumping from one thing to the next. Gives me an insight into what I'll be like at the menopause!
Have you looked into endometriosis before? Can't remember if we spoke it before or not but that could certainly be the culprit for your painful periods!
@Marvellouslymadmum wish I hadn't of bothered tbh as it disturbed my sleep and I woke up at 4am and took a test then 🤦🏾‍♀️ bfn of course but in my tired haze and desperate state I took another "to be sure" at 8 this morning and that too was bfn so at least I was right to take the injections now!
Ow to the period pain mate and lol to the death stare you gave OH with his pill suggestion 😂 bless him tho!
@XPeach123 defo allowed on the bus!! I'm doing ivf on the nhs too! Been ttc since sept 19 so you defo qualify as an infertile donkey 🐗 Do you have a diagnosis for the infertility?
@polejunkie you're so right, it's bloody exhausting but we all soldier on to get our end goal! (Hopefully). So on the social side of things, I've swapped to low alcohol beers and will use losing weight as the reason for not drinking much. Some of my friends know we're waiting to start ivf and so don't know we already have. I just say "summer" if they ask when we'll start and then change the subject.
@Motherofkittens28 absolutely stunning hair! You're going to look wonderful darling! 🤩

@notyetamumbuttrying yeah low alcohol is a good alternative - part of me thinks I should go t-total though I’ve not been drinking for about 3 weeks and I’d like to keep it that way so I’m as healthy as possible when it all starts. Remind me of your dates again, when will you have EC?

@polejunkie yeah you defo should if you can! I'm not drinking at home, only if I go out and I'll have one low alcohol beer and then soft drinks. Although last night I allowed myself a rum and Diet Coke as it was my sisters bday meal out. We're out again today but with family so won't have any as they all know. So I'm on long protocol so EC won't be until end of May. Transfer early June, it's a long ol process!

@polejunkie I know exactly what you mean. I feel like there's no point the months we try naturally any more. Its very hard to accept. But I have to pretend it's just how it is and we just need to get on with it, because DH has more issues with the 'help' aspect than even i do? So I think he'll say we won't bother if I get down about it too. It's hard. And people just going oh it'll happen. Erm- actually it might not? Tough to deal with.
@notyetamumbuttrying yes we have and yes I do suspect. But how do I get the drs to acknowledge this? No one seems to care. 🤷‍♀️

@paintfairy it's astounding that they haven't when you're going through infertility too! Try and push for a lap before you start ivf. Tell them your symptoms, stress how bad periods are. If you get pain during or after sex, say that to. Let me find the Facebook group for you to join. The women on there can you help with how you get drs to listen.

@paintfairy www.facebook.com/groups/1148144608538280/?ref=share
Here you are ♥️

@Crazydoglady123 it is! Thanks for the compliment @annny27, @polejunkie, @notyetamumbuttrying, @crazydoglady123!
@polejunkie the pre ivf waiting is the absolute worst, I've round it the hardest part of this whole journey, the two months between cycles has been torture. It does go though, you just have to get through one day at a time.

@notyetamumbuttrying I don't get pain with sex. I only struggle with that if I feel bloated. But my periods were horrendous when younger. The pill fixed it. But they are getting worse slowly again now I'm off it. It is frustrating.

@notyetamumbuttrying yes so I’m about a month behind you, my EC (all being well) will be end of June with transfer in July. When will you know how you’re responding? Any scan dates? Sorry if I’ve missed this! It’s nice to have social plans isn’t it, at least it’s a slight distraction. I’m waiting now to hear about drugs and get my loot delivered haha, kind of hope it’s sooner rather than later so I feel like things are still happening in some way, shape or form 🤷🏼‍♀️ I feel like I’m a bit lost these days, not entirely myself, makes me quite sad some days...

@paintfairy sorry you find it so tough too, I completely get how you’re feeling. For us it’s kind of both of us that are a bit inadequate so it’s at least that’s shared! There’s just not a lot for the guy to do is there, all on us a bit I suppose when it comes to IVF

@Motherofkittens28 you’re so right, one day at a time is the only way to approach this 💪🏼 x

@polejunkie I think it's both of us really too. The SA is borderline. And I spot every month with slightly short cycles. They haven't found an issue but I'm pretty sure there is one.

@paintfairy people saying it will happen are the worst! The one I really hate is "you just need to relax and stop trying so hard", how the hell am I supposed to do that! Im 39 and not getting any younger! One of my friends thinks I should quit my job and then I'd get pregnant because the stress would be reduced, just the little matter of paying the mortgage standing in the way of that!

@Motherofkittens28 we don't even try that hard any more! And in the beginning we didn't as we thought it would just happen. Makes you laugh! And yeah just give up work, that'll help. God knows how you can afford a baby (wont that then stress you?) but who needs a job anyway. 🤣 I'm 38 so I get exactly where you are coming from. If I was 28 then I wouldn't be that worried yet.

@paintfairy same I spot and my cycles are 25-26 days, low ovarian reserve too. SA low with mobility / morphology issues x

@XPeach123 welcome to the donkey bus!

@polejunkie you're totally right, it's just one of those things we internalise and get on with everything else going on around us!

@Motherofkittens28 your hair looks stunning! Loving the length and colour

@notyetamumbuttrying I kept waking up all through the night Thursday when I knew I was testing Friday morning - knew it would be a bfn so don't know why I felt excitement/hope 🤦🏼‍♀️ he tentatively suggested it again this morning and got a plethora of reasons why it was a totally bad idea 😂 he just doesn't like seeing me in pain lol he definitely doesn't get that my age is an issue and I can't just go back on the pill for the next 8-18months while I wait patiently for gynaecology and lap appts etc! I'd be coming up to 44 by then

Ok some questions for the endo donkeys in here, may be tmi so please do scroll on by if you need to -
1 How do you deal with the pain? I'm taking paracetamol and trying to avoid Ibuprofen where I can but will take a couple when it gets really bad, even taking both just eases it slightly!
2 how do you cope with the flow? I'm having to go to the toilet every 1-2 hours just to change the tampon or it'll leak through onto my clothes! At night I'm having to now wear tampon and pad or I wake up in an awful mess 😞
3 how do you cope with it emotionally? I keep bursting into tears because I'm in pain, I'm having to run to the loo all the time and I know this may be preventing me getting pregnant and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it but wait when time is running out! (My oh says just keep pestering the docs to see if they can get me referred quicker) I'm painting a wall mural in an office at the moment and dreading tomorrow!