TTC after MC - Feb/March 2021 (Thread 18)

[bez91]

New thread ladies as the other is almost full.

Tagging everyone I can....

@Bellabubble
@Pancakes7
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@PumpkinEverything
@NatJ24
@NatNoo96
@ELMcg
@RichmondLady1981
@susiebluebell
@Garman
@bumptobean
@bubblybrit
@PrettyPinkPansies
@chloedancer897
@elsimo
@HereWeGoooo
@ttcrainbowbaby1
@Seasalt1984
@Strawberry08

Congrats to those with BFPs on the last thread there was a lot of you 🥳

Hi everyone. I was here January after a miscarriage. We tried to start ttc straight away but honestly mentally we struggled. We decided we wouldn’t try anymore. Low and behold my period was 4 days late and I put it down to wedding stress as we have just got married! But I’m pregnant... it was a shock. Ive obviously not felt excited due to the miscarriage but I just don’t know how to feel. I don’t feel any symptoms, the last 2 I just knew and this time I didn’t. Just feel strange. Any advice on how to try and feel happy when you are just not wanting to get hopes up.

@bumptobean congratulations! Both on getting married and the pregnancy what wonderful news unfortunately I don't have any advice except to remember that every pregnancy is different so don't symptom check too much, and most women who have miscarried go on to have healthy pregnancies, only around 1% of women have multiple miscarriages. I know how hard it is to not worry but hopefully when it gets further into the pregnancy you'll start to worry less and enjoy it more. Hope you have a good support group around you and I have my fc for the best x

Ah congrats @bumptobean that's fab news. Im sorry for your loss . Totally normal for you to be cautious and nervous. Personally, I think when you get to the 2nd trimester you might relax a bit , well I did but everyone's different . I suppose there's nothing you can do one way or another unfortunately. Hoping for a healthy and happy pregnancy for you🤗

Thank you @Canadadarling and @Lollipop25. It’s so strange isn’t it that a positive pregnancy test doesn’t spark the same excitement after a loss. I think I’m still in shock from finally putting ttc to bed (sorry for the pun). We even got a puppy recently as started to settle. So perhaps when the shock subsides I might start feeling a lot happier but it’s just worry of getting hopes up again! The statistics are low so going to hope for the best and try to prepare as best as I can for the worst. X

@Canadadarling I had very little luck with the opk strips that's why I moved on the cb digital advance ones, but I'd say try one morning and one evening, what cd are you and do you have any clue on when you usually ov?

@Acebobase hopefully there is nothing to worry about with you but I believe nhs look into problems after 3 recurrent mc 🤞🏻 you won't need them and everything's ok!

@bumptobean congratulations! Such a lovely surprise for you, I'm afraid I have no advice to offer on the being happy front as it's not easy after a loss at all! But best of luck with everything

@Marvellouslymadmum I am thinking I should have gone for cb instead of the cheap strips, but I'll see how they do me for this cycle. I'm currently CD15 and my flo app says I should ovulate on CD20 but I'm not sure if that's accurate as my cycle is quite irregular. I should have enough strips to test twice a day this cycle & see if anything shows 🤞🏻 or I may have to BD every night to be safe 😂

@Canadadarling I'd do both lol I tried the strips for month got annoyed and moved on to the cb it's possible you've missed ov day if your cycles are sometimes shorter but yes just carry on and bd and hope
For the best!

Thank you all ladies 💕

Trying not to swap one anxiety for another and enjoy it.

I have been trying to think about whether I did anything differently this time around. I actually gave up the acupuncture a few weeks prior because it just wasn’t for me but we did use pre seed this time around and actually now that I think about it every time we conceived! I didn’t really like using it as I was worried it might have a detrimental effect but this time thought sod it, we only have one more go until IVF. I would recommend it.

Sorry I know tips can be annoying but I honestly think this might have worked for me so wanted to share with you ladies.

Xxx

Thanks for the tip @Mustkeepgoing2 it's not annoying, it's like having one more thing in your back pocket to try! So good to read honest experiences of things - acupuncture is another one that I might try this year if no BFP is forthcoming, and it's good to see that it worked for some and not for you.

@bumptobean I remember you, and well done and congratulations! Hope it all goes smoothly from here x

@bumptobean congratulations fantastic news 🥳

@susiebluebell I started acupuncture last week, I really liked it. Going for 2 weekly sessions for now, hopefully give me some chill too!

Nothing to report here really , AF just finished and this is the last month for us I think 'trying' so OPKs, BBT, all the supplements, acupuncture, reflexology, best foods for cycle etc then next month I'm throwing the towel in and NTNP 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Canadadarling there is a good app called premom where you take photos of the cheapo ovulation sticks and it tells you when you are low and high and peak! Takes a few cycles to get to grips with how it works but it takes a lot of stress out of analysing your test strips! You just have to wait for the test to fully settle before you take the picture! I also use the clear blue fertility monitor that you use every morning and that tells you your low high and peak days, the machine and tests are quite expensive mind! But I've found the cheapies and the pre mom app predict the same days as the machine does so it works!

What supplements is everyone taking?

I take coq10, pregnacare before conception tablets and a low does of aspirin, is there anything else people take that I might be missing? I've read somewhere that taking evening primrose oil running up to the day you ovulate as it helps improve quality of CM? Anyone else tried this? Or does anyone recommend anything?

@Mamat90 I have got the premom app and it does look very good so far, im just getting to grips with using the strips! and thanks for the advice i dont think i was giving it enough time to settle properly which kept giving me 0s but today my reading has doubled (still low though) and the app expects me to ov in 2 days so hoping that its predicted right so i can start BD-ing soon!
Also i have no advice for the tablets im afraid, i just take folic acid, vitD and iron. But ive heard that fertility lubricant helps with conception so that could be an alternative

@Mamat90 it take -
Pregnacare preconception
Vit b complex high dose
B6
C
D
E
Evening primrose oil up until ovulation
Folic acid
Magnesium
Ubiquinol
Iron
Can give you doses if necessary. I also drink pomegranate juice all month, eat fresh pineapple including core in fw and keep my feet warm lol

@Mamat90 I took evening primrose oil for several cycles, and it coincided with my cycles being absolutely crazy lengths and all over the place. Then I stopped taking it, and the first cycle after was normal length. COULD be just two unrelated things, but it put me off taking it. Many people do find it helps a lot, though.

i apologise in advance but i just need somewhere to rant where someone might understand how i feel... im on CD17 and my app predicts i will ovulate on CD19. The last time i BD was a week ago and i want to BD quite often especially around these fertile days, but the last few days my OH has just said 'im not in the mood' or 'i dont feel like it today'. I understand he doesnt have a high sex drive and neither do i, we are quite happy to do it once a month normally, but im frustrated because we're not doing this for us its for a baby! And i cant make him BD with me (obviously) but if we only do it when we 'feel' like it its going to take so long to get lucky and we both want this baby now :( Now i feel like a crazy person being annoyed that he wont sleep with me & feeling like hes not fully in this... aargh

@Canadadarling you are not crazy its perfectly normal to feel like that.
We have been trying for 2 years and I was in exact same position, I would say talk to him and tell him how u are feeling and try to be as open as u can re feelings around sex.
We have actually done a full 360 on this and after all this time its me who just can't be bothered with sex. It's not that I don't want a baby tho.
Not easy at all xx

I agree with @elsimo @Canadadarling you will really need to speak to him and hopefully you can persuade him to dtd this evening! It’s so difficult and horrible that it ends up feeling like a chore. What we do as we’re so busy and tired is just time it really well around ovulation. Good luck with it xx

@Canadadarling I agree with the others. You need to sit down and talk it through, just be honest or the pressure will build inside each month. I say this but me and DH sometimes fall into bad habits and don't communicate well. Making out like you're relaxed works wonders for me too, I'm not inside but on the surface to him it can seem that way so I find that helps with him not feeling under pressure! In fact we could prob do with DTD tonight as well as last night after a surprise OPK this morning 🤦🏼‍♀️ so that's giving me anxiety 😆

Disheartened at my peak today at just CD7 😫 May just be an early surge but seeing as I didn't ov last cycle I'm not hopeful. GP app finally tomorrow to talk about my low progesterone/estrogen ☹️

@bez91maybe you are gearing up to ovulate early as you didn’t last month? 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 And good luck with the doctors xxx

Hello All

Congratulations to those with BFP ☺️

I've been quiet on hear lately as my head is all over the place. This coming Monday i will be 8 weeks since surgery following a MMC (HB stopped at 9 weeks) and still no AF. 3 weeks after surgery i got a negative pregnancy results on a supermarket test. At 5 weeks i got a faint positive on FRER and have continued to get the same faint positive test tight up until 3 days ago. I have blood test on 26.03,21 to test my hcg levels and have just been told this morning its come back as boarder line so now im back on Monday for further blood tests.
Also the past two weeks i have bled after intercourse and sorry tmi but had discharge/spotting of a dark brown colour.
Has anyone experienced this? Can anyone shed any light at all as im so confused my head is all over....

@bez91 @Loulou237 @elsimo

I did end up talking to him about it last night & I explained how it's not really about whether we're "in the mood" or not and there's only like 3 days of peak fertility. He did seem shocked that it's only 3 days so i don't think he knew that before, so hopefully I haven't missed my chance and we can get to it tonight and tomorrow! Even the thought of having to wait another month to try again is heartbreaking & I applaud those ppl who have been trying for months/years and haven't given up❤️

@Canadadarling my DH was also surprised when I told him just how short the “window” is every month. To be fair, I hadn’t considered the logistics of it before TTC - I had always blithely assumed that the sex-ed classes at school were right when they said that any unprotected sex at any time of the month can result in a baby. If only!!!!

@Canadadarling that’s great you spoke about it and good he realises that it’s only a small window each month. Both times I’ve been pregnant we’ve only dtd twice in fw, once on day 11 and once on day 13 and I think I ovulate on day 14/15 so it definitely doesn’t need to be every day or anything! Good luck with it and hope he’s more in the mood this evening. Xxx

@Fingerscrossedfor2021HK
I also explained that we were having unprotected sex for a year (not necessarily trying tho) before I got pg the first time (ending in mc). So if we carried on doing it like normal then we'd have to wait another year or more!

And Yep when you learn about sex everyone makes it sound like it's so easy ! In a way it's cruel how the world works, some people try medicine & vitamins and it takes years, and others use 2 rounds of contraception and still get pregnant 😣