TTC after MC - Feb/March 2021 (Thread 18)

[bez91]

New thread ladies as the other is almost full.

Tagging everyone I can....

@Bellabubble
@Pancakes7
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@PumpkinEverything
@NatJ24
@NatNoo96
@ELMcg
@RichmondLady1981
@susiebluebell
@Garman
@bumptobean
@bubblybrit
@PrettyPinkPansies
@chloedancer897
@elsimo
@HereWeGoooo
@ttcrainbowbaby1
@Seasalt1984
@Strawberry08

Congrats to those with BFPs on the last thread there was a lot of you 🥳

Hi ladies, checking in 👋 been absent this weekend after feeling super rough after my CV19 vaccine 🤒 had a vag scan Saturday which seemed ok so just waiting on the doctors app in 2 weeks to tie results of everything together, still waiting on AF, hopefully here by Tuesday.

Really routing for you @bubblybrit 🤞🏼 sounds promising, sorry I may have missed it, when you testing?

@SamBass yes keep us updated on Wednesday appointment!

@gizmo167 sorry to hear you're having a wobble. Lots of people rave about this book which is on my list if I ever get another BFP which may be a good idea after you've had a reassurance scan 😊

@justwant2beamum arrrgh sorry AF arrived, my cycles became very regular after my MC (unlike they were before) but I got thrown a random 25 day one last cycle 🤷‍♀️

@elsimo 12dpo right? You testing? 😬

@bez91. My FRER is due to be delivered on Tuesday/Wednesday so planning to test over the next 2-3 days. Was going to do so on Saturday but I’m really not sure when (or even if) I ovulated so waiting until AF is pretty late before testing to avoid any potential disappointment. Would rather AF arrived than see a BFN! How are you feeling now after your vaccine? Fingers crossed everything is tied up quite timely for you x

@bez91 yip but i'm not going to bother testing. I had a tiny bit of spotting last night which means AF is on its way anyday.

Bloods showed I did ovulate tho so thats something xx

Hey guys, been silent on here but reading through every now and then to see how everyone is doing, congrats on the new positives! And also super sorry to any new people here that have suffered a loss.

I'm really struggling atm. I'm quite good at plastering a happy face on but I just feel like recently there are baby announcements and pregnant people EVERYWHERE, I've also started dreaming I'm pregnant or have a baby pretty much every night and I'm just feeling a bit emotional lately. Every time I see anything at all baby related my heart just drops into my stomach and I just feel really crap ☹️

Currently 10dpo and I just haven't had any signs or anything that make me feel like I could be pregnant this month so I have a feeling I'm out again.

Don't expect any miracle words from anyone but just needed a rant to some people who understand the feeling!

@Mamat90 I feel exactly the same - it’s so hard. I can’t offer any wise words on dealing with it but I just wanted to let you know that you are definitely not alone in feeling this way!

For me, I am trying to focus on positive things - I will be quitting my awful job soon and I’m thinking about volunteering at a charity for a while. I think maybe if I can find a project that I am passionate about that it will divert my mind a bit and help me to focus on the good things that I do have in my life if that makes sense?

Sending positive thoughts to all! ❤️

@Mamat90

So sorry to hear you are feeling like this. In truth I have been feeling exactly like this for a while now and it is very hard. You kind of pick yourself up only to drop back down again.

I have become guarded recently as to who I share things with too. I recently felt extremely hurt by my sister who wanted to to know every last detail of my journey and when I was on my period, when I would be testing, how I felt about other people being pregnant, how the scans of my babies that had passed away felt and what they looked like and I started to open up to her only for her to then announce completely out of the blue on an extended family what’s app that she had ‘made it to 12 weeks and was sooooooooo excited’ with a scan photo attached! She didn’t think to share any of this with me first or even hint that she was TTC which really hurt when she wanted to know everything about me and constantly badgered me for information often making me cry in the process. It really hurt me and only intensified how alone I feel on this journey and don’t really feel like I can talk to anyone anymore xx

I have a bit of a TMI question I have been wanting to ask for a while but was worried it might be TMI...

In the luteal phase I know your CM is meant to be dry but I almost always have dried CM on my underwear at the end of the day and actually feel a bit wet. Is this normal? Does anyone else have this? I have had this for a few months now and just wondered if I should be concerned or might indicate low progesterone or something.

Thank you all in advance xxx

@Mustkeepgoing2 firstly I don’t think anything is TMI on this thread I think everyone is different and more CM probably just means you’re more hydrated etc so I don’t think it can be a bad thing. I wouldn’t worry about it personally. Also I’m so sorry about your sister that sounds so insensitive. It’s hard enough as it is without people being like that about it! Rest assured not everyone is like that though so don’t feel scared to talk to people if you can. Xx

@Mustkeepgoing2 first of all I’m really sorry to hear about the situation with your sister. That’s really really tough. Being charitable, I can only think that she was worrying about her own pregnancy and using you as a sounding board for her worries. But in any case the WhatsApp announcement was totally tone deaf!!! It sounds like you handled everything with true grace - I had a full on meltdown when a good friend of mine announced her pregnancy “it was our first month trying” (my reaction of hysterical tears on poor husb was not, it has to be said, my finest hour...)

Re the CM I’m not sure. I think that generally all us ladies vary and there isn’t really a “normal” per se and if it’s normal/usual for you then it’s probably fine. I actually thought luteal phase is generally still expected to have some CM and only really to be not there right after AF so it sounds like everything is in order! No harm speaking with your doc if you are concerned though.

Thank you Ladies.

I think I was totally a sounding board for her concerns but I can’t forgive her for doing that. I have had multiple miscarriages and she has never had a miscarriage and knows how upset I have been so I really think to act like that was so heartless and it has really affected me particularly as her what’s app group message was at the same time almost exactly as our initial IVF appointment which again she knew about and thus I got the message whilst sat waiting at the clinic. I find it so hard to keep picking myself up and not letting these things eat away at me.

Thank you for the CM comments too. I think I am worrying about nothing but I guess it’s easy to do when you want something so badly.

Xxx

I think I must just be having a super long cycle. Tested with a cheapie as still waiting on my FRER and it’s a BFN. I stopped DTD on CD23 as had 11 days of high fertility. CB advise that you are unlikely to get a peak after this point so didn’t see the point. Even if I ovulated a few days later then I’d still have expected to see even a hint of a line...albeit it’s a cheapie and not with fmu?

Ah that does sound heartless @Mustkeepgoing2 I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Good luck with the ivf and I hope you can confide in others as it will help!

@bubblybrit that is so annoying, do you know when roughly you might have ovulated? Although as you must be on day 38 or so now I would think you’d get a line. If it’s not a frer or fmu though I wouldn’t trust it. Hope the FRERs turn up soon!

Did you get any answers @gizmo167 or do you need to do 2 blood tests two days apart?

@elsimo could that be implantation bleeding?

@Mamat90 so sorry you’re feeling so down. I know it’s horrible seeing babies everywhere and it’s something you can’t escape. What’s your ttc story? Have you been trying long? I wouldn’t worry if you don’t seem to have symptoms, I seem to spend my life symptom spotting and then get my period, the symptoms are so similar and not very strong early on so it doesn’t mean much I reckon. You’re definitely in with a shot!

I am looking forward to a boiling hot bath this evening and a giant glass of wine! It’s the only time of the month I allow myself either. Hope everyone has a lovely evening.

@Loulou237 no this is usually how my period starts, never had implantation bleeding the other 3 times I have been preggers xx

@Loulou237. I have no clue when I ovulated as never got my peak on CB. I don’t BBT or check CM etc so pretty confused. I’ve got lots of symptoms but no BFP or even AF. I shouldn’t really have used a cheapie especially when it wasn’t fmu but assumed since it’s been 5 weeks from previous AF that it would have showed up even a faint line. Will wait for the FRER and will make sure I use fmu. So fed up now 😢 x

@bubblybrit vaccine was Friday, still feeling groggy tbh, I'm never ill or one to complain but wow 🤒😫 sorry to see your last post that you're fed up ☹️

@elsimo good that bloods showed ov that's where I'm going wrong 🙈

@Mamat90 sorry to hear you're struggling atm, that's been most of us at some point and I find it like a merry go round of emotions, really very different day to day. I'm doing more for me this next cycle so got acupuncture and reflexology booked for stress relief also so hoping they may give me a bit of chill!

@Mustkeepgoing2 that's really shitty of your sister, especially when you've let your guard down and been really open, I'm so sorry. On the CM question, I get this sometimes in the LP it's usually creamy CM and sometimes dried but some months I get it more than others, this month there has been loads and still is as I wait on AF, I had loads the cycles i got BFPs too but no correlation as I didn't ovulate this month 🤷‍♀️

@bez91. I know a few people that have taken a few days to recover. I hope you feel less groggy soon. I’m actually at the stage that I’d be ok with the arrival of AF as being stuck in limbo is sooo much worse! X

I have been lurking on here on and off but have not messaged for a while. Looking for some advice from anyone who has been/is in my I situation. I started a separate thread but I thought it may be best to message on one already established thread.

Writing this message is extremely tough. I have just started the beginning of my third miscarriage at 4 weeks 6 days - I appreciate it is very early so could be termed as a chemical pregnancy.

I had a MMC in May 2020 at 8 weeks after discovering the baby had stopped growing at 6.5 weeks shortly after seeing a heartbeat.

I then had a second MC in November 2020 at 6 weeks.

In Jan of this year I lost a stone in weight to regularise my cycles (which was successful) and had some tests for miscarriages done privately. It was discovered that I have a raised clotting amplitude and was advised to take daily aspirin after my next BFP. The clinic where hopeful that this, along with my weight loss and regularisation of cycles would help us stay pregnant.

Fast forward to last week, I discovered I was again pregnant - started the asprin as prescribed. Had my bloods done last week and they were doubling as expected.

However, today I have started bleeding with cramping and I know this is the start of miscarriage no.3.

We don't know what to do next, does anyone know what our options would be moving forward or is it simply to have another go.

I would be eternally grateful if anyone else who has been through something similar could give me any advice. I feel so empty, and really don't know what the next steps for us would be - but I don't think we are ready to give up on being parents just yet.

Thank you in advance :) x

Hi @J785948 I’m so sorry for your losses. I don’t have any experience of what you’re going through but I do know that lots of women go on to have successful pregnancies after 3 losses. Have you had your progesterone levels checked? As progesterone pessaries can help sometimes. Sorry not sure what else to suggest but I’m so sorry and try to have faith that it will happen for you. Xxx

@bubblybrit so sorry I missed this message! I can imagine you’re so fed up the not knowing is the worst. I hope you get some answers today or tomorrow with your FRER. Yes make sure you use fmu! Xxx

Hello @J785948

So sorry for your loss,

I have had two losses and at my last appointment at the hospital during the second loss I asked if there was anything that could be done to see if there's anything preventing us from having a successful pregnancy, and they told me they don't investigate pregnancies losses until the third time around, so if this is another loss then maybe the hospital would intervene and do some extra testing and figure out what they can do and refer you to a specialist?

For not I'd just call up your local early pregnancy assessment unit and let them know what's happened and they should book you in for a scan ASAP.

Really feeling for you and I hope you get some answers and help

@J785948 I am so sorry you are experiencing miscarriage for the third time We have several ladies on here that have had multiple MCs - I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to tag them, but ladies if you see this and want to pipe up, please do.

All I can say is, heartbreaking though it is, statistically this doesn't mean that you're never going to carry a baby to term. Each time it happens, it becomes rarer and rarer than it'll happen again. Like, tiny odds.

It might be small comfort now, but I liked the reassurance of looking at the statistics and seeing how rare it was to NOT have kids after MC Take it easy and take care of yourself xx

@J785948 Sorry you're going through this.

I've had two recent ones. I had one a few weeks ago and waiting for AF to come...had cramping on and off last week or so, but today cramps feel like proper af ones, so expecting her today. 😳

Sending lots of positive vibes your way.
Speak to your GP as after 3 they may start to do some tests (from what I've heard) but not sure if that's standard practice or dependent on circumstances/factors.

x

@J785948 again hun, so sorry! Have had 2, last one just on 14th February of all days! Both of mine were at the 6 week point. I have a DD who will be 8 this summer but am with a new partner and am currently CD37, got BFP last weekend so am 5 weeks today. It doesnt get any easier and there isnt much anyone can say to ease the pain, you arent alone hun and feel free to vent! Definitely get back to your Dr, mine wont do anything for me but given my age and the fact the Dr I saw after the first mc told me that I couldnt expect my eggs to stay fresh forever doesnt surprise me!!!

Well, I am really having a serious wobble today. Its CD37, yesterday I felt fine, had little bouts of nausea, boobs were so sore could hardly touch them and thats whats worrying me because this morning they dont feel anywhere near as sore and that was my trigger with both the mc's. I dont know what I'll do if this one ends too, its end of the line for me and it will tear me apart!

Thinking of you @gizmo167. I know it must be so scary for you but remember that the hormones will fluctuate as you process them so the symptoms will come and go in a viable pregnancy. Everything crossed for you xxx

Thank you @Loulou237 I must appear like a man woman! Its just been a long hard struggle lately and this was my one silver lining and to think it may be taken away again just breaks my heart! Needing all the positivity and hope I can get!