TTC 35+ Thread 6 Cougar and Silver Fox Club

[M4v3r1ck]

Hey ladies, setting up a new thread! 😃 Hope it works! 🤪

@thislittlebird that's exactly my thinking and I certainly won't be telling people as early as I did before either. I mean I think I waited until the 12 week mark for friends before but close family knew before that but If I get my bfp again I'll be waiting until about 20 weeks I think! Even then I wouldn't do a massive announcement or anything, people just don't realise how insensitive they're being.

Yeah I suspect if I manage to get pregnant I will keep it very quiet for as long as possible, other than work and a couple of close friends. I don’t think I’d even tell our families for some while to take the pressure off (we don’t live near them or see them much, especially now). 20 weeks feels sensible if you’re worried about anything @Marvellouslymadmum, my friends did that recently.

I don’t even feel like I’ll get to that point right now though, it feels unreal. I think it’s made worse by my health being weird the last year and still isn’t right and I’m sure that isn’t helping this process. Like the sudden light period issue, I know it’s not right for me and it just makes me worry more when I need to be worrying less.

@thislittlebird it's all such a nightmare! I definitely find it very helpful chatting to likeminded people on here but I agree it just feels like it's never going to happen at the moment 😔

I spent the whole of my first pregnancy worried it was going to be snatched away. It took 3 years and I'd had never had a sniff of a BFP until that one. Every scan, I'd struggle to sleep the night before. We didn't buy anything until she was 'viable'.

I did have a late shower - everyone knew what a struggle it had been for us and so the feeling was very jubilant. My friend who was still TTC via IVF couldn't come as, although she was pleased for us, she was sad for herself, Totally understandable.

However, despite all the issues and time it took for DD, we were still asked literally from her being 1 month old, when we'd have another! Even told by family that "It wasn't fair for her to be an only." It was as if all the struggles were informed because we got lucky once!

ignored not informed.

Now, this is a last ditch, very unlikely effort for a DC2. It's so unlikely (no contraception used for 7 years - but not "trying") that we're not telling anyone at all. I can only talk about it here.

@thislittlebird and @Marvellouslymadmum that’s exactly how I feel too, that it feels unreal that it could ever actually happen. It’s just been so long of AFs every month 😞

@WrongendoftheSTIX that’s unbelievable that after only a month you were being asked when you were having your next. As if you hadn’t been through enough constant pressure!!
People can be so clueless...

Can I join too please?
I'm 38, TTC no3 but my kids are 11&8, I suppose this is my "quick the biological clock is ticking baby".
We've always talked about having another baby but timing has never been right, it still isn't right but I feel like it's now or never so let's just go for it. I'm worried that we might have left it too late though.
CD6, cycle 2. DTD at all the right times last month but no BFP, which has made me worry even more. But I appreciate it's still early days for us.

Hi @Magnum99 I'm the same age. My DD is close in age to your youngest.
I hope it all works out for you. It's so much worse when you time is all perfectly and no BFP. Much easier to accept if you miss a day or two!

@WrongendoftheSTIX yep especially when you know that 9 years ago all that sex would have got you pregnant. Let's just say DD was conceived very easily.

@WrongendoftheSTIX it's so unfair how people just assume everything will work just fine for all people, never knowing the pain and frustration of when it doesn't 'just happen'.

@Misty84 I was so pleased when I got pregnant the first time and then it all ended and I was just so devastated but expected it to happen again - how naive was I? Every month just waiting and then some months my body being so cruel and tricking me with it's no af and symptoms just to change it's mind! I do feel like it's just not going to happen for me most of the time, though I still have hopeful days.

Hi @Magnum99 welcome to the group, Lots of lovely supportive ladies here ☺️

Morning ladies. FW pretty much done here. Had peak yesterday on CD14- have DTD CD 10, 12, 14 so fingers crossed. 2ww now for me! Anyone else?
Hi @Magnum99 - think there's a few of us with older DC deciding to try one last time (I have DD7)
@WrongendoftheSTIX sorry you're feeling down- its such a rollercoaster. Hope everyone can enjoy some sunshine this week. 🌤

(may have meant @Marvellouslymadmum there)

@sickofthisyear good luck in your tww! 🤞
I’m in it but further along- 6 days to go until dreaded AF 😬 (or not!!!🙏)

@sickofthisyear I got my peak yesterday too and today is cd14 we have dtd cd4,6,9,10,12 so far then ov should be today or tomorrow so planning on both if possible lol then 2ww for me too

Good luck everyone! I'm 6dpo. Time goes so slowly... 🙈

That’s so awful @WrongendoftheSTIX, I don’t understand how people can be so bloody insensitive. As @Marvellouslymadmum said, it’s nice to have a place to talk about it here.

Welcome to @Magnum99!

I’m in the tww, but not sure if I’m 4 or 5 dpo (I cocked up my OPKs and they surprised me with an early LH surge). Might dtd again today just to cover the bases because I don’t trust the data that much for me. Would really like my periods to be more normal again this month, would put my mind at ease.

@thislittlebird I'm a bit confused by mine tbh, I got a peak yesterday but I've had no ewcm at all so still don't know if things are happening as they should 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Marvellouslymadmum RE the assumption it's all plain sailing - There have been so many new babies amongst my colleagues over the past couple of years that there was a tongue-in-cheek sweepstake going on a few weeks ago as to who will be the next one to fall pregnant! I mean...I just didn't know what to say to that.

Hi to those new to the thread. These ladies have been such a help to me since I joined a couple of months back, it's so good to feel
I am not alone, but at the same time I am so looking forward to some good news from every one of you! x

The latest with me is that I'm 10dpo today, with AF due on Thursday. This cycle is my last chance for a birth before I hit 40, which I know is a ridiculous way to look at it, but seems significant in my addled brain.

@TTCat39 I think it should be much more 'out there' that a lot if people have issues and therefore be more considerate!! I used to think like that about the being 40 but but now I'm almost 42 and taking no notice lol

9dpo for me today, the wait is eating me alive this time, coz I really feel there's a good chance. Got some ultra early tests arriving tonight, but going to hold off a couple days to test, really should wait til thurs/Fri...

@climbershell I also feel like there’s a good chance this month...can’t really say why, probably because I added some more things to what I already do in the endless efforts! Worried for myself if it’s AF again...it’s so hard dealing with repeated failure. What a rollercoaster this all is.

@TTCat39 I can understand now turning 40 feels significant. It’s all the pressure we carry as women! 🙁
Madness with your colleagues...just on another planet!!

@Misty84 @climbershell We're also reading up and adding new TTC aids as each month goes by (oh dear, that sounds like sex toys and I definitely don't mean that!!). After worrying last month about my temperature being high all the time, I got a new thermometer and it appears the first one was a dud
Also first month with the Conceive plus lube, which also feels very much NOT like a sex toy when squirting it up there in preparation!

@TTCat39 snap, this is my last cycle as well to have a birth before 40. Now I'm telling myself that I want to be pregnant by 40. Which may still be an unrealistic deadline, but takes the pressure off a bit right now...

@ttcat39 haha, sex aid... 🤣🤣🤣

We used conceive plus this cycle, first time partner was like "na we don't need it", not realising it's good for sperm and I didn't want to educate him mid dtd. Next 3 times we used it

I haven't temp charted, rely on cm and from that, plus ovary pains confident when ovulation was. If not successful this cycle I will start temp charting

Other half has no idea I'm symptom spotting or reading up more than a tiny bit on anything or on forums lol. It's not even crossing his mind to think about the wait or anything!