TTC #2 over 40

[Jem1979]

Anyone else TTC over the age of 40? I have a 19 month who was conceived first attempt. TTC #2 since June without success so far. Be good to hear from anyone in the same boat! I’m still bfeeding so wondering if that might be a factor. Plus my age obvs!

@Lunaberry1979 Thank you. That's great you read it and won't have to change your diet too much. I'm with you on the love of sweet things, I've given up chocolate for lent so am counting down the days! Esp now as there's no booze!

Hello Everyone - how are we all doing?? Hopefully you're all enjoying that new legal high of...being able to go into each other's gardens! My DS is certainly happy he can have his little mates over now and I'm not making him go on yet another 'adventure' which, even at 4, he is now fully clued up that it's just a long walk.
No exciting baby news here as AF arrived yesterday (at the same time as the full moon - not sure if that's relevant or not!) so get a few days off the rollercoaster of ttc - I am DEFINITELY going to do SMEP this time, I only have 3 months left before I officially give up move on! Honestly ladies, I am a proverbial yo-yo on this, I get the fear that it's too risky to keep trying and could I face another mc or having to TFMR and decide I should just stay as our triangle and make the most of it...then my MIL sends me a video of my DS when he was 1 being utterly cute and my heart melts and I'm back at Square 1. Anyway, that's my rant for today!
How is everyone else feeling? Positive I hope! I will start that book tonight, Right Time Baby...that should get me back in my positive ttc mindset ready for next week...only two weeks until I'm 42, I'll have to change my username!

Hi @41FerrisWheels thanks so much for asking how I was a few weeks ago. I came away from mumsnet for a while... but I did read your message and was really appreciative.

Ups and downs here. Somedays I think- I can do this. Somedays I think- what will be will be. Somedays I think- I really can’t see this working.

Please let us know if there are any gems in that book. I think we pretty much know the right things to do- but the researching makes one feel better.

Trying to be positive....

@Cashewcookie lovely to hear from you and I have exactly the same three thoughts on a loop too! It's exhausting for sure and I am glad to have this group to dip in and out of, knowing we are all going through the same thing - totally get wanting to have a break too, sometimes a distraction from thinking about it all is just what is needed. I am feeling positive for all of us today, onwards and upwards!! I think, from the brief description I read on the back, that the Right Time Baby book is less about practical advice (which I think we could all write our own books on now anyway ) and more about giving the reader some positive stats and info about having a baby in your 40's, which makes a refreshing change - I shall certainly pass on any pearls of wisdom or quotes with uplifting stats!!

Now, can anyone empathise with me here - I bumped into someone I went to NCT with (most of whom all have a second child now of course and I am naturally VERY happy for them and not bitter at all) and she asked me how I was feeling (as she knew about my mc's) and if I was still thinking of ttc (this was all in the middle of the street btw and 2m apart so a fairly loud conversation!) and when I said I wasn't sure and we would see, she quipped flippantly "Why don't you just get a dog?" Now ladies, I don't know about you but I just wanted to punch her square in the nose. If I didn't have to stand 2m away I may well have done so! However, I took some internal breaths and said "I don't mind changing nappies but I don't want to be picking dog poo up off the ground for the next 10 or so years thank you." Honestly, I think that actually made me more determined to keep trying, so perhaps it was fate We shall see...

@41FerrisWheels ha ha ha yup, I am with you on the face punching and think you were very restrained. Sheesh. The things people say!

I’ve had people say ‘at least you have your daughter’ which I do understand and they’re right, but it doesn’t really square with wanting a bigger family and the longing I feel.

The sun’s out today and I’m feeling hopeful too. We’re going to get there ladies 🌞☺️

@41FerrisWheels lovely to hear from you too! That book sounds interesting actually- I hope it’s upbeat and positive and has none of that “less than 1%” rubbish. Am defo feeling the positive vibes- needed some of those today! The sun is shining too...

I don’t know at what point it’s deemed necessary to suggest substituting an animal for a child. Utterly inappropriate. It would have royally pissed me off too. Glad it’s fired you up rather than getting you down.

We can do this!

@41FerrisWheels What an insensitive and patronising thing to say not surprised you wanted to punch her! The book sounds really good, great to read positive things about having children in your 40's. Did you see Alex Jones is preggers again? Another flying the flag!

Thanks all!! I'm glad you agree I wasn't being over-sensitive as I did wonder so appreciate your thoughts as always. However, as I still need to socialise with her and she lives on my street I shall have to refrain from throwing an egg at her house (hmmm symbolic!) and rise above it, but I shall certainly be be wary of what I share with her in the future...

So, moving on...Alex Jones!! She's 44! This is fabulous news ladies!! We can so do this!! I can't wait to get started again now- she has inspired me -thanks for sharing that @Jem1979

In other news, I did read that Royal Jelly supplements can be good for enhancing egg quality...I know, I am a sucker for supplement recommendations but I thought, hell, I've got nothing to lose as they were only £6.99. Anyone else taking those?

Hello Ladies! I am in the same boat. I have just turned 41. We are TTC number 2. Had my first one at 39 and conceived straight away - having sex twice only. So I was sure it will be the same with the second 😃which is not apparently 🤔. Trying not to think too much which sometimes is hard.

Hi @GingerFox2021 welcome to the group! It is indeed so hard to keep distracted and not overthink everything, but now that things are starting to open up again it will hopefully help to keep ourselves busy and not checking our Clue app every 2 mins I'm just embarking on SMEP again this month, had a peak fertility smiley face this morning on CD9?! Seem to be ovulating earlier and earlier...random. Good luck and hopefully we'll see some more peeps get a BFP soon like @Jem1979 who started this thread!!

@GingerFox2021 Welcome to the chat! Your situation is very similar to mine as I also conceived first time at 39. I'll be 42 in August and it took 9 months to get my BFP, so keep trying! I'm approx 7 weeks now, have 1st scan 10 May so hoping all goes well and we will get to see a little bubba. It's been very hard not to overthink things with lockdown and lack of distractions!!

@41FerrisWheels Sending you lots of luck this month!

@41FerrisWheels thank you! I wish you to get your BFP soon- I think we just need to distract our minds a bit with smth different and once we forget we TTC this will happen 😃
@Jem1979 our situation is really similar 😃👍big congratulations with the pregnancy! So jealous ! 😃in a good way of course! I will keep trying ☺️Very inspiring.

Hi everyone. Hope you're surviving this Arctic weather.

I tested for ovulation for the first time this month and discovered that I ovulated much later in the month that I have previously thought. So now I am CONVINCED that I will be pregnant this month with my improved timings . Period due on Saturday... am slightly going mad waiting... drumming my fingers and whistling...

Oh @Lunaberry1979 the dreaded 'waiting game' it's painful isn't it! Hope the time passes quickly; good luck! I was really surprised at my early ovulation, I think I've probably wasted many months trying at the wrong times! I think now you've discovered you ovulate later than you think it will be a game changer for sure! xxxxx

So, a little fact that I wanted to share with everyone on this thread; my Great Grandma got pregnant at 47 and gave birth to my fabulous Great Aunty Betty who was a healthy and very happy child and that was back in 1921 - yes ladies, 100 years ago!! Just wanted to give you an age perspective boost today!

Wow! @41FerrisWheels Go great grandma! Good to hear her story - so much stuff around about how modern women have left it too late (read: we have unrealistic expectations). Bravo!

@41FerrisWheels Here's to your inspiring great grandma! Giving birth at 47, 100 years ago with no extra scans etc! Just shows you! @Lunaberry1979 hopefully AF is a no show. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend not long now til we get a bit of normality back!

Thanks @Jem1979, though sadly AF arrived on time.

Deep breath. Onward and upwards 😊

Hello Ladies. The same, AF arrived yesterday, on Saturday 🤨even a week early. We DTD almost according to SMEP plan, couldn’t have done any better. Am I was sure I felt when I was ovulating the last two months so I was sure it will work!
Thinking if to try ovulation sticks, but I’m scared that I’ll get obsessed with these. It might be the more I put this on my mind, the more stress my body will feel. But if I don’t buy them, I will worry that I am not trying them as they might be of help. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Ha ha @GingerFox2021 - I felt exactly the same about the ovulation sticks. I’ve done it for one month now and it wasn’t too invasive. I wish I’d started earlier because it’s information, and I’m running out of time! But there’s still time for me to get completely obsessed...

Hello, so I started bleeding at the weekend and had a scan this morning which confirmed sadly no heartbeat and they think the pregnancy stopped progressing a few weeks ago. I'm absolutely gutted and so so sad, but tbh not totally surprised as I had no symptoms and had been saying to my husband I just didn't feel pregnant. Have to wait now and hopefully will pass by myself this week :-(

Oh so so sorry @Jem1979 That’s so sad. Feeling for you. Hope you’re ok

@Jem1979 so so sorry to hear this. Hope you’re ok...

I’m so sorry to hear this @Jem1979
Sending hugs. I went through something similar and it’s really painful I know.

@Twothirtyam @Cashewcookie @Lunaberry1979 thank you. I'm ok, sad and very weepy but think that's to be expected. Hoping I don't need to go back for any medical intervention. I know loads of people have been through the same and much worse, think it's just going to take a bit of time to process and heal.