TTC #2 over 40

[Jem1979]

Anyone else TTC over the age of 40? I have a 19 month who was conceived first attempt. TTC #2 since June without success so far. Be good to hear from anyone in the same boat! I’m still bfeeding so wondering if that might be a factor. Plus my age obvs!

42 here. Have a nearly 12 yo and then a surprise pregnancy last Jan 2020 that ended in TMFR. Was desperate to try again but hubby said no. We were going to try finally this month then both got the text for Covid jab. I had my jab today and one of the questions is could you be pregnant. I broke down.
I just want to be pregnant before the first anniversary of our little hero of 18+6w comes round.
What is SMEP?
I’m tracking ovulation as weird cycle.

Got a bfn this morning and gutted. Don’t want to go through this month after month. Full of regret.

Can I join too please? Only just turned forty, trying for DC2. DS is 12 though, so slightly different situation here! Been trying off and on for a decade without success so this feels like the last try!

@Cashewcookie Sorry to hear this. Sending you a big hug x

@Lunaberry1979 Hello, your situation sounds very similar to mine. I thought it was bfeeding preventing me conceiving and so tried to night wean but he didn't respond well at all and so decided to leave that a few months. I got my BFP at the weekend so just shows it wasn't that. Are you taking any vitamins? I caved and started using OPK's a few months back so would have some indication of when to DTD. I recently started temping but my temps were fluctuating so much there was no obvious pattern! It is hard not to become all consumed by it.....I guess at the end of the day if you can try to have regular sex then doesn't really matter how many tests we do!

@welshmercury welcome, sorry to hear about your loss last year that must have been heartbreaking. SMEP is the sperm meets egg plan, basically it says to DTD every other day starting on day 8 of cycle, start using OPK's on day 10, then when you get a positive OPK DTD 3 days in a row, skip a day then do it one more time. Its free to download the plan on kindle from amazon or am sure you can read about it online!

@alliejay81 hello there, oh that is a long time trying am sure its been tough for you.

Nice to hear from new people, I have found chatting on this group really helpful xx

Oh it is so sad sometimes, feeling the hope and then the disappointment, again. I’m with you there @welshmercury and @Cashewcookie. Welcome @alliejay81

Before my post a couple of women had BFPs in this thread which is wonderful. It is definitely possible x

Thank you @Jem1979 and @Lunaberry1979.

Deflated today, I know you all understand. I’m 43, feel unfit, old, tired, creaky and fed up. I feel angry and sad too. My son said the other day he wished he had a sibling. He has a wonderful life and I know it’s all fate at the end of the day but this is bloody hard.

Sigh.

Thank you @Jem1979. Yes, logically I know the breastfeeding isn’t the problem but when you’re trying and not succeeding everything seems like it could be a reason! I wish we knew more about our own bodies. Your story is giving me hope ☺️

I take a preconception vitamin. I am thinking I will start with the opks and embrace the madness. It would be a shame to not conceive because I am guessing the wrong ovulation date 😬😂

Aw @Cashewcookie, it’s so hard.

@Cashewcookie totally understand all the emotions you are describing, try not to be too hard on yourself.

@Lunaberry1979 here is an article which was posted somewhere else on here which I found useful and is worth a read. There are 3 parts but this part looks at bfeeding and fertility. It really does seem to vary from person to person. Two previous posters on this thread said they had to stop feeding to get pregnant. Plus our age is then a factor on top...

mammaeblog.blogspot.com/2017/06/breastfeeding-fertility-and.html?m=1

Thank you @Jem1979. I will take a look 😊

AF arrived today (CD20) a week early. I’m now thinking there might be something in the breastfeeding theory - thanks @Jem1979, that article was enlightening. My daughter has upped her milk intake this month quite a lot so it seems fitting that my cycle has subsequently gone haywire.

So, I’ve decided to get on top of things. Today I have reached out to a breastfeeding support network for advice on stopping. I also bought some opks and It Starts With The Egg and am looking into the SMEP. I’m feeling really positive now.

Good luck to everyone who’s trying ✨

@Lunaberry1979 good stuff! you have been very proactive - I think it helps to feel like you are doing something! The article was really helpful to me too. I am sure you will get good tips on weaning, it’s hard when they are so used to it for comfort. Not sure how I will manage to stop..... so will likely be reaching out for support soon myself!!

Morning all xx

Aw girls I just dont know, CD33 and still no signs of AF. I feel a little more crampy last couple of days but no spotting, which I normally would have before AF and my boobs are fine apart from the area below the nipple which is sore to touch, weird!!! First AF following my first MC was on CD34 so guessing it will show in a day or two!

@Cashewcookie how you feeling today? Sending lots of empathetic hugs as I know just how you feel. Hope you're OK x

@gizmo167 my AF's went out of sync after my mc's for a couple of months but shorter, did you say you'd done a test just in case??

Hello to everyone else, hope you're all OK and having a good week wherever in your cycle you are! CD15 for me so in the no mans land of waiting to see what's going to happen this month...

Thanks for the reply @41FerrisWheels, no hun I havent tested yet! Terrified to, last time after the mc AF arrived CD34 and I've convinced myself she will show! Also my thinking atm is that if I dont test then I still have that tiny little bit of hope, sad arent I ! I will test though at weekend if there is any need! I just think if it were positive then I'd feel something!

@gizmo167 I totally get it - I would probably do the same, good luck!! xx

@gizmo167 Not sad at all! I have never tested early as couldn't face the disappointment, always waited until AF late so totally understand. Maybe give it another couple of days and if no sign then test?

@41FerrisWheels the dreaded TWW, good luck!!

Happy weekend everyone. Hope you are all doing ok & it's sunny where you are! @gizmo167 good luck if testing again this weekend x

Hi @Jem1979 yes sunny here so I am going to get outside as didn’t leave the house yesterday! Not good for the headspace Hope you have a good weekend too x

So for the first time ever my 4 1/2 yr old gets into bed with me this morning and out of nowhere says “I wish I had a brother” I had just started getting my head around being a family of 3 and feeling ok if we don’t get pregnant by the summer as it’s been 3+ yrs of ttc and 4 mc’s and that just put me right back, I asked him why and he said “because it’s just you, me and Daddy and I want someone else to live here with us” So bit of a head wrecker this morning but at least when he’s a bit older I can explain that I did try, so hard...any ideas what I can say to him if he asks again would be much appreciated, he might never mention it again but it could well be something he now asks about every day...

@41FerrisWheels Oh bless, am sure that was hard for you to hear. I wonder if something has prompted him to ask all of a sudden. Has someone he knows had a recent sibling maybe? Not sure there are any right or wrong answers, I really liked what you said about being a triangle and it's the strongest shape......so maybe you could use that?

Testing tomorrow, cd35 so officially longest cycle in 8 years! I know it's not going to be positive but least I'll know the 2nd mc has buggered my cycles!

Thanks @Jem1979 i forgot about my triangle analogy!! So I asked him a bit more about his sudden request and it turns out he really wants his friends over to play, essentially he wants another 4 year old not a baby to play with! This year has been tough on our little ones and although mine is at nursery, he says he really wants to have friends at the house to play cars with...so at least we got to the bottom of it and once the lockdown is over he can have his pals over again-woohoo! Also @Jem1979 how are you feeling?? So happy for you and glad you’re still here cheering the rest of us on!!

@gizmo167 good luck, hope you get some sleep tonight! It’s so bloomin nervewracking the day/night before test day and ironically the day we could all do with a relaxing beverage!!!

@41FerrisWheels Great you had the chat and sussed out what it was about!. Yes so hard on wee ones they really have missed out on so much! I'm feeling grand tbh, a bit more tired and my back's a bit achy but otherwise ok! I was very lucky in my 1st pregnancy and hardly had any symptoms so hoping if this one progresses ok then it will be similar! I'm rooting for you all and will keep in touch if that's ok as like I said before, it really has helped me chatting with others. All my friends had children earlier so none are TTC now. And as my hubby is 5 yrs younger, his friends partners are much younger than me (some by 10 years ) so it's been great speaking to those in the over 40 camp!

Thanks @Jem1979 for starting this thread and for staying in touch. It's inspiring that you're pregnant and doing well. Wishing you an easy second pregnancy .

@41FerrisWheels I love how you opened the conversation up with your son. I am dreading the same conversation with my daughter when it comes, but it's good to remember that they see things very differently to us. Nicely done.

So I read It Starts with the Egg very quickly - it's certainly a persuasive read. My new plan is to start the OPKs for a month or two and then decide whether to fork out for the expensive supplements. My diet is already quite close to the one recommended, except for my love of sweet things... not quite ready to completely eradicate...

I hope everyone is doing well. Have a good week wherever you are with your TTC journey.