TTC after miscarriage

[lamby12]

Hi just wondered if anyone had any experience of continuing TTC after miscarriage. I had a loss at 5/6 weeks recently. The bleeding has now stopped (about 3 days clear) and I'm starting to feel back to normal physically. Emotionally I'm gutted as we have been trying for so long and a few close relatives who know have said we should wait a while to recover emotionally/physically.
Whilst I agree, I've also read that you're most fertile after a miscarriage and it's taken 18months of inconsistent ovulation/low hormones for me to get pregnant. I don't want to miss what could be an increased chance when my odds are low ordinarily.
The hospital said I should wait until a normal period for dating reasons only, they said nothing about risk of infection or complications getting pregnant straight away. I have no idea when I would ovulate (if) now.
Any experience out there?

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. When I had mine the hospital told me the same to wait until I’d had a normal period for dating purposes but they also said there’s no reason not to start trying before that if you want to. I think as long as the bleeding has stopped there’s no reason why you can’t start trying when you feel ready 😊

We started trying again as soon as my bleed stopped, fell straight away without a period in between, we were advised the only reason not to try the first month is emotional and it makes it harder to date (the exact problem we had but I will now be 9 weeks on Thursday)

Sorry to hear about ur miscarriage, I am currently In the middle of one, on day 5 of bleeding, and am desperate to try again, once the bleeding has stopped and I get a negative result on a pregnancy test, I was advised to take a test cause if levels are still high u will get a false positive and could mean left over tissue. Maybe u should take a test to make sure u get a negative result. I have 2 in laws that got pregnant straight away without having a period afterwards and both went on to have beautiful baby boys. Xox

Thanks @Bellesjp @Pika93 @Mummyto1crazy1 for your replies.

It's great to hear success stories.

@Mummyto1crazy1 I'm sorry you are going through this at the moment. Hope you're ok 💕

My close relatives have been adamant that we should wait a while now as I was so devastated, but it's amazing how quickly my mind is changing. In the midst of the bleeding I felt like we'd never try again, now I'm just keen to get on with it. It's taken 18months to conceive, so waiting could miss a valuable few months where fertility is possible higher.

I know I need to be emotionally ready but I don't want to kid myself that if I wait a few months this won't happen again, as it could easily end in miscarriage again. I don't want to have in my head if I wait and then fall pregnant it will all work out, as this could just happen again.

The thing I was confused about is the hospital said to do a test 3 weeks from bleeding starting which is still 1.5 weeks away. Some things online say you shouldn't have sex until 2 weeks after so the womb and cervix is closed and doesn't risk infection - not clear if this is 2 weeks from bleeding starting or finishing?
It's 1.5 weeks from bleeding starting, I've had about 4 days totally clear of anything and feel like I have EWCM since yesterday. Could I be ovulating already and would it be safe to have unprotected sex? (Re infection) does anyone know?

I'll probably miss it by the time I decide!
Thanks x

I know exactly how u are feeling, it's such a range of emotions to deal with, the only person that will know if ur emotionally ready to try again is u, I would take a test to see if u get a negative cause a negative indicates u have gotten rid of it all during miscarriage. I have also been doing alot of reading up on miscarriage as it's my first and so confusing, I'm still unsure on when to try again, but what I've read is that u count the first day of bleeding in ur miscarriage as day 1 of a cycle so on an average cycle of 28 days and ovulation on the 14th day, u could be close to ovulation, but honestly I'm still confused cause if ur cycle isn't regular then the dates will be different.. the more I think about it, it might be better to wait a cycle so u have piece of mind that ur cycle gets back to normal and u know there isn't risk of infection, suppose its different for everybody cause the bleeding will last different for everybody. Sorry I don't think I was off any help with this post and think I've confused myself more. One other thing is to try ovulation kits to see if u are ovulating.

Xox

Hi @lamby12 I have had a very similar experience to you and have had the same questions. I miscarried around 6 weeks. Monday I had a scan to confirm that everything had cleared and miscarriage was complete. I also did a HPT and it came back negative. The EPU has given me the same advice, but to be honest, I do not want to wait. I never really got a clear answer from EPU about the infection situation as I was also worried about the cervix being open and risk of infection, but after reading a number of posts about it, many people just seem to crack on after bleeding has stopped.
I also think of it this way...many people at 5/6 weeks pregnant still wont know they are pregnant and would consider the bleed a late and heavy period. And if it was me and I thought my period had just started really late, I would have just carried on TTC as soon as the bleeding has stopped.

So, based on that, me and OH have agreed that we can start having intercourse after the bleeding stopped (which was Saturday).

I have been doing OPKS to test my LH and yet to have a positive (although my BBT rose sharply this morning - hoping I didn't ovulate early as we still have not yet DTD). My app says I am due to ovulate on Friday so planning on DTD tonight and Friday (maybe Saturday just incase) and see how it goes.

Fingers crossed we both get our BFP's soon!

Thanks @CookieMonster3001 and @Mummyto1crazy1

I really don't know where my head is at which maybe is a sign to wait. I had loads of EWCM yesterday so a sure sign I'm ovulating but pretty much decided that I should wait because I've been a bit over anxious lately and think I might just worry and worry about doing it too soon, infection, etc. Maybe that sounds silly but they said to wait 2 weeks at EPU and it's not 2 weeks until Saturday.

Anyway I then just had the feeling I was ovulating this morning and did an OPK and got a positive result. Could I really be ovulating already?

Anyway now I feel like we should have dtd last night and maybe missed a good chance. Maybe will tonight. Like you say, if I hadn't had the positive tests then I would have potentially not known.

@lamby12 To be honest, that sounds about right to me. If your first day of bleeding was last Saturday and you count that as the first day of your cycle, you are almost half way through which is about the right time to ovulate. Baring in mind you ovulate around 24-48 hours after your positive OPK, (which would mean either tomorrow or Saturday).

If you still want to, then you haven't missed your chance as you can DTD tonight and tomorrow. But be kind to yourself and go with your gut. If you do not feel like you are ready then maybe just wait until your next cycle so you are more comfortable.

For me, I don't think I can wait long enough and just really want to be pregnant again. Me and OH DTD last night, and much like you I was super anxious, but it was fine and it felt nice to be intimate with my OH again. I am expecting to ovulate around Saturday/Sunday so plan to DTD this weekend as well.

I agree, I also think it sounds about right with ovulation dates, and completely agree that u just have to do what feels right for u, if it will settle ur mind to wait a month then that's what u should do, ur mental health is just as important. I'm about a week behind u ladies, I'm currently on day 7 of miscarriage and still bleeding heavy with clots, does this sound normal to use? I have my fingers and toes crossed that use get ur little rainbow baby soon, xox

@Mummyto1crazy1 I think it depends on how far along you were when you miscarried. And I think the bleeding varies from person to person. My periods are usually quite short anyway (2-3 days) and I was 6 weeks when I mc, bled for about 5 days quite heavy, with clots in the first couple of days. Then it just stopped and moved to brown spotting for a couple of days.

I had a blighted ovum, I had a private scan at 10 weeks and found the sac was empty, was referred to hosp to have it confirmed, the sac stopped growing at 6 weeks but took to near 12 weeks for the bleeding to start, so I'm not sure if because it took so long to come out that maybe it caused a bigger build up of blood, we booked the 10 week scan for the 23rd dec as my DS turned 3 on christmas eve and we wanted to tell family then, it was devastating to find there was no baby there as I still had all the signs of pregnancy and no bleeding or cramping at this stage, it was a tough xmas and birthday for the little one to put on a brave face, xox

@Mummyto1crazy1 I am so sorry to hear that, that must have been awful! I would imagine that's the reason you are still bleeding heavy as you probably had a thick lining and more to come out. Hopefully the bleeding will ease up over the next few days xx

@Mummyto1crazy1 so sorry to hear that, sounds really traumatic and so difficult to go through. Hope you're doing ok.

I think it is expected to bleed for longer when you are further along from what I have read.

My bleed was 5-6 days, very heavy in the middle I ended up going to hospital as lots of clots and tissue and I was very dizzy and pale. Thankfully the bleeding came under control by the time I got up to the ward which was about 6 hrs later, so I didn't need anything.

I've had lots of EWCM today, I do worry we've maybe missed it now as I had loads yesterday and I bet if id done opks the last couple of days they would be positive too. I normally get 3 days of positives and I think by the last maybe it's happened? I don't know. I think I'll instigate DTD tonight but not tell OH we're 'trying' as that stresses him out. He's up for trying again whenever I'm ready but I know he hates how it becomes the centre of everything as we all do.

I agree @CookieMonster3001 with what you said about you can't wait long enough. I won't ever be ready to have another MC but I will deal with it if it comes. I'd rather just keep going I think than wait months to feel 'ready' and it happen all over again. I just want to close to TTC chapter of our lives as soon as poss.

@lamby12 totally know the feeling! When I fell pregnant, I was so happy that I didn't have to carry on TTC as the pressure was just hard to manage, and my OH is exactly the same. We don't have sex very often anyway and at the rate we were going, we would never have fallen pregnant so I had no choice put to push us to DTD more often which is fine on a weekend, but on a weekday was almost an impossible task.
The thought that we have to go back to that is frustrating to be honest, but not much we can do.

Just DTD when you can and fingers crossed you catch it! If not there is next cycle, but at least you know that you would have tried.

I never really get EWCM and always worried that was an issue, so we tried Conceive plus and that was the month we caught. So have been using it again this month and fingers crossed it works its magic again!

Yes I think the frustration is the worst - I feel physically better now and then it will creep up on me of that frustration that I'm not pregnant now and obviously we don't 'have' to go back to TTC immediately but I don't think other people understand how draining it is and you therefore just want to move past TTC and be pregnant ASAP.

We DTD last night and yes it was nice to be intimate again and didn't feel like we hadn't waited long enough. After lots of googling I figured if I'm ovulating, which I'm sure I am, then my body must be ready.

I also felt in the mood which I think is the body's way of telling you it's the right time too. Last month was the first month I just instigated it when I was in the mood (happened to be about the right time too) and it was obviously, so fingers crossed 🤞🏻

Well maybe DTD again tomorrow and/or Saturday and then I'm going to try and not think about it because I'm not ready for a full on TWW stress. Hopefully it'll pass quickly and I won't early test because could be HCG left over so would need to wait longer anyway.

Fingers crossed for you - keep me posted. X

My fingers are crossed for u both, really hope use get ur little rainbow, if use don't mind keeping me updated too, cause I'm tracking behind use by about a week. Xox

@lamby12 oh I am glad DTD went well and it felt right for you! You are absolutely right, your body is giving you all the signs you are ovulating so your body must be ready. Just go with this flow this month instead of full on TTC (like me - its already driving me insane!) and fingers crossed you will pregnant again in no time!

@Mummyto1crazy1 absolutely, once you have stopped bleeding, you will have to let us know what you plan to do and keep us updated as well.

Still no signs of ovulation for me. I am on CD 12 and usually would be ovulating today but all my OPKs are showing up negative. I really hope I ovulate Sunday or Monday as the weekend is the best time for me and OH to DTD and it be more relaxed and natural. I really hope it doesn't drag out for too long as I just want ovulation to be over and done with now!

Fingers crossed! Will keep you updated :)

@CookieMonster3001 thanks yes I'm glad we didn't. At least I know we'll have tried this month.

@Mummyto1crazy1 yes will keep you posted.

Good luck x

So I had really intense ovulation pain yesterday evening, I get it probably every few months, where I can really feel ovulation (I don't know if the pain comes before, after or during ovulation) it's like a cramping/nervy pain in the hip almost verging on sciatica as it shoots down my leg. Went off after a few hours so I'm confident have/did/will ovulate this month around now.

We DTD last night so fingers crossed. OH is shattered (key worker) and working all weekend so we'll probably leave it there! Like you @CookieMonster3001 we aren't that regular otherwise!

Fingers crossed we've done what we need to. I ordered some CBD on Amazon so I could confirm a negative test like EPU told me to, but they haven't come so I will just have to wait things out.

Did others do a pregnancy test to confirm? I haven't had a scan or anything, as I was before 6 weeks and they said bleeding has stopped, no pain, no need for follow. Just do the test in 3 weeks (which would be another week).

Hey everyone, I hope you don't mind me jumping on this thread. I also had a miscarriage on Monday - I was 13 weeks, first pregnancy. It was a pretty horrific experience as it happened very suddenly and within the space of a few hours I had passed everything. I'm still bleeding but it's lighter now so I'm hoping it'll all be over physically soon.

I've been tracking my HCG levels by using OPKS (I know it's not a foolproof method, but it's helped by watching the OPKs get lighter across this week) - when those tests get back to a very low level I'm going to take a CBD and hopefully that'll come back negative.

My doctors suggested we wait for a full cycle before TTC again and also suggested doing a pregnancy test in 3 weeks. I asked why and they said for dating purposes (no mention of infection) and because they thought that's how long it would take to see a negative result. Things seem to be happening quite quickly for me though so I've done cheapies over the last 2 days and they've been extremely faint (so faint that if I was looking for a BFP, I would probably be posting asking if anyone else can see a line!!), so I'm definitely going to be testing earlier than the 3 weeks.

Our plan is to start TTC again as soon as I have stopped bleeding fully and I have a true negative pregnancy test using CBD.

I know everyone is different and everyone needs to do what's right for them - I just thought it may be helpful to show what's happened to me in case it helps any one. I hope you're all okay and sending you all positive vibes for your TTC journeys!

@lamby12 defo sounds like you have ovulated!! I generally get that pain too! Fingers crossed for you lovely! I did do a preg test the day before I had my scan which was a super faint positive but the day of my scan they confirmed everything had come out and did another test which showed negative. I watched a youtube video yday that said we always have hcg in our system and I think if it drops below a certain threshold it allows ur body to ovulate so I would imagine a preg test for u now should be negative but i would check anyway

@RBCoxie welcome lovely! I am so sorry to hear what you went through, you must have been devistated. I would imagine if you have super faint lines now you would prob be getting a neg test quite soon! Fingers crossed for you. We also didnt want to wait and have been BDing since bleeding stopped but no sign of ovulation yet. Still nothing on my OPKs and I would have usually ovulated yday (CD12) really hope it doesnt lengthen my cycle too much!!

I have woke up this morning which is day 9 of bleeding with extreme cramps, and alot of bleeding with bigger clots than before, I think I've just passed the sac, tmi I'm sorry, but it really frightened me, it was like a big gush of bright red blood, I thought by day 9 I would be easing up, but this is horrendous this morn, any advice ladies? My OH has work and I'm getting DS minded cause I can hardly walk atm let alone run after a 3 year old, xox

Welcome @RBCoxie and so sorry for what's happened to you. I'm glad you're doing ok and it sounds like everything is over quite quickly for you.

@CookieMonster3001 that's useful to know, I haven't got a test and can't get out for one (snowed in and I'm not going on a mission for it!) so I am just going to assume it would be negative. All the signs of ovulation so it feels like everything was fairly quick for me. I usually have short cycles (23days) and ovulate sometimes as early as day 9, I think I've probably ovulated yes day or today (day 14/15) so maybe it's normal to be a bit behind after a miscarriage.

@Mummyto1crazy1 that sounds really distressing, sorry you're going through that. In terms of the bleeding when mine was worryingly heavy they said if you are soaking/needing to change a pad every 1-2 hours it is concerning and you should ring 111, also if you feel dizzy/too weak to stand and move around. Did they give you a number from the hospital or EPU to call? I would suggest to call them and talk through your bleeding. I called with a few questions a few days after and they were really good, they are the experts and I think would rather you call than worry unnecessarily or go to A&E unnecessarily. Do you have a number?

@lamby12 I'm really sorry for you loss. 💔

I went through the EXACT same thing as you in December. On my DH's birthday, of all days, I started miscarrying at 6 weeks. I was heartbroken to say the least. But I just wanted to try again, the feeling was overwhelming. I counted the first day of bleeding as CD1 and used OPKs that indicated I ovulated at CD17 (my usual is between CD13-15). So I was a bit behind, understandably. We started TTC right away and even though I didn't get pregnant that cycle, the fact that I was at least trying gave me some sense of control and comfort. I'm on to the next cycle now, ovulation any day! Even though I thought the MC would break me, it actually renewed my determination and I find strength in taking care of myself to make sure my body is ready for the next bean.

I really do hope you get a healthy, sticky bean soon! 🌈 🤞🏼

@lamby12 hi, sorry i thought i wiukd jump on this post. I am new to mumsnet. I am currently going through my 2nd MMC, started bleeding heavy yday but was told last week they could see the ges sac but no baby so been waiting for the bleeding to start. All i keep thinking is TTC again but after 2 miscarriages im terrified. Is anyone taking supplements? Xx