TTC after miscarriage

[lamby12]

Hi just wondered if anyone had any experience of continuing TTC after miscarriage. I had a loss at 5/6 weeks recently. The bleeding has now stopped (about 3 days clear) and I'm starting to feel back to normal physically. Emotionally I'm gutted as we have been trying for so long and a few close relatives who know have said we should wait a while to recover emotionally/physically.
Whilst I agree, I've also read that you're most fertile after a miscarriage and it's taken 18months of inconsistent ovulation/low hormones for me to get pregnant. I don't want to miss what could be an increased chance when my odds are low ordinarily.
The hospital said I should wait until a normal period for dating reasons only, they said nothing about risk of infection or complications getting pregnant straight away. I have no idea when I would ovulate (if) now.
Any experience out there?

@Hopefulmummie that looks like a positive to me. Everything crossed for you. I would doubt it could be left over hcg by now but I get why you're cautious. If you don't want to call the docs maybe like someone else said do a CBD for the weeks?
Have you been feeling any different?

@Mummyto1crazy1 & @Emmav2020 I hope both of your bleeding has eased off now and you're feeling ok.

And @CookieMonster3001 & @RBCoxie hope you're feeling a bit closer to ovulating.

I'm only 3dpo today but I feel like time has pretty much stopped. Maybe this will be the worst TWW ever!!!!!

I've been feeling sicky and so tired today. I know it's too early for any actually hcg induced symptoms but I can't help overthinking it 🙈

@CookieMonster3001 totally get it! I'd be exactly the same - I'd usually be ovulating this Sunday-Tuesday but I think it's going to be later. Hopefully you ovulate soon - I hate how it's all just a waiting game!

@lamby12 thank you so much! I'm still bleeding and very low OPKs so I think it'll still be a while.

Tbh it's really good to talk to people who are in a similar situation. I had a call from the EPU today to check in (really lovely of them to do that!) and I asked the question again - they still advised to wait but couldn't really give me any concrete reason why. Instead it was 'you'll still be testing positive' (I'm not - I've had a negative test) and 'your hormones will be all over the place so you want to give your body the best chance you can for next time'. I just wish there was concrete advice either way!

Guess what ladies, I finally got my peak!!! Yipee!!! Planning on DTD tonight and tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

@lamby12 oh I feel for you!! The TWW is torture!

@RBCoxie that's really lovely of your EPU to check up on you! Personally I think they just say that as it makes life easier for them in regards to dating a pregnancy. I have not really found any evidence to support why you cant try again (unless you had complications during miscarriage), so I really just think its when you feel comfortable to start again. As long as you are testing negative and you are no longer bleeding, then you should be fine.

Hey just thought I'd give an update.
I rang my GP today to see if they would do bloods to confirm a new pregnancy. He said blood tests wouldn't be any more reliable than a pregnancy test so to just take it that I'm pregnant again if I'm getting a positive result. I done another test today and it's far darker so think that's me settled :)
GP is going to make a referral to EPU to see if they would do an early scan.

I hope you all get your rainbow babies soon :)

@Hopefulmummie that's exciting! Please let us know how it progresses and fingers crossed a healthy 9 months for you

@RBCoxie how nice that EPU checked up on you! They seem great, when I rang to ask about symptoms a few days after they were lovely.

It's annoying nobody can give a straight answer isn't it, abut trying straight after. Everything I've read says it just because of dating, but if you're somebody with low fertility that's been trying for ages you really really don't care whether the dating will be accurate if there's a chance of being more fertile. Right?!

@Hopefulmummie amazing news, so pleased for you and got everything crossed that this is your successful pregnancy. Lots of good vibes to you.

@CookieMonster3001 great you have your peak!!! Wooo finally :)

X

A massive congrats hopefulmummie, wishing u a smooth 9 months, it really is amazing news and hopefully they can give u an early scan for reassurance.

I have 2 in laws that both got pregnant straight after a miscarriage and now have 2 beautiful boys, they didn't even get a period after miscarriage, so I totally agree that If the bleeding has stopped and u get a negative, as long as ur mentally ready then go for it:) and good luck.

I ended up in a&e yesterday and the EPU, had a massive bleed out, I was literally standing in a&e bleeding extremely heavy and was told to phone EPU, and when I did they couldn't see me for 3 hours so was told to go to my car and wait, we live 30 mins drive away, so by the time my partner drove me home, I was saturated in blood, my Jean's and the towel beneath me were soaked through, I passed something the size of a lemon, showered then back over to EPU, I still have 1cm thick of lining to come out, and could take 10 days, I'm already into day 13 of bleeding and now another 10, was also told to wait 2 weeks after the bleeding stops to test and make sure I get a negative and to have blood done to check my iron because of the blood loss, I feel like there is no end in sight, the process has been so long, from finding out on the 29th dec and still more to go, feels like it will still be so long to start trying again, :(

Sorry about the length of this post but it really does help to get it all of my chest xox

@Mummyto1crazy1 oh my gosh you poor thing that's horrible!! I cannot believe you had to wait 3 hours when you were bleeding so much! Hopefully 1cm is not much now and the bleeding will slow down soon. I cant believe you have been bleeding for so long! Big hugs!! Defo I have found MN such a safe space to vent and talk about frustrations so no need to apologise!

@CookieMonster3001 it really was awful, I was in shock when they sent me away from a&e, I was told I could wait in a&e or wait in my car but that I would still have to wait on EPU so I might aswell wait in car, it was horrendous yesterday but now today I'm glad I went home within the 3 hours and was able to pass the brunt of it at home and shower before going back, I'm so drained from all the blood loss, I wasnt expecting to bleed for this amount of days, cant wait to get to the end of it, I'm hopeful and looking forward to hearing everyone's progress and hopefully some rainbow babies, I thought I would be following along about a week behind but will be longer now, all ur progress is giving me great hope :) xox

@Mummyto1crazy1 oh what an awful time you've had. I'm so sorry. Going to A&E is stressful at the best of times but especially at the moment and especially about something that's still so upsetting. I'm really really sorry that you're having such an awful time with things.

It sounds like things are taking such a long time and I can imagine you are just desperate for it to be over now. Fingers crossed you don't have too long to go, but yes it's frustrating that you can't move on yet. Really feel for you. Look after yourself as much as you can.

I'm trying to keep myself busy in the TWW (is it only one day since yesterday?!) I feel like in my head because I've read and heard so much about success after miscarriage it has to be our month but that's a dangerous mentality (in terms of disappointment) so I need to bring myself down a bit over the next week...ready for AF.

Sending good luck to everyone. X

@lamby12 u couldn't have said it better and honestly reading ur message was comforting, thank u for that, it really has been an awful few weeks and am so looking forward for the bleeding to stop and my body get back to normal, I'm now petrified to start trying again, I couldn't go through this again, I keep just telling myself that every woman that goes through a loss is going through unbearable times no matter how long the process takes its extremely awful for us all, and it's in the times of covid that made my experience of a&e the way it was. I also have a great support network around me that have been amazing.. I totally feel the TWW is awful, u try to distract yourself but it's always on ur mind no matter what, it's hard to keep a level head and be optimistic when its something u want so bad. I really hope it happens for u this month but if not don't give up hope because the first few months after u are just as fertile, but I totally get how ur feeling, its torture xox

@CookieMonster3001 @lamby12 both of your messages were really helpful and actually put my mind at rest about trying again - thank you so much. I totally agree, everything I've found is just about dating and tbh if I have to go the first 12 weeks of not knowing when my due date will be then so be it! They'll do a dating scan at 12 weeks anyway!

Great news on your peak too CookieMonster!! This is so exciting! Keeping everything crossed for you! I had my first morning of no blood today so I'm keeping everything crossed that this is it now and it's over 🤞🏼 Now it's about waiting for that peak!

@Hopefulmummie congratulations! It's so lovely to hear some positive news. I hope you're the first of many on this group to get their rainbow babies!

@Mummyto1crazy1 I am so, so sorry to hear what you are going through. It sounds like the most awful experience. I also experienced A&E during my miscarriage so know how awful it is during COVID - an ambulance took me there at 3am and I was in the 'queue' on a bed for 5 hours which is where I passed everything. I know it's easier said than done, but don't feel any pressure to think about trying again - you have been through a lot, physically and emotionally, and it's totally normal to need some time to get your head around it, recover physically and then the way forward may seem slightly clearer.

@lamby12 I know what you mean about getting our hopes up! I find myself reading positive stories after miscarriage thread of all these people who have conceived straight after a miscarriage and I need to stop because I know its just going to end up leading to disappointment, so trying to get into my head that its probably not gonna happen this month because my cycle has been all over the place and just wait for AF to arrive.

I should be in my TWW as of tomorrow (hopefully my BBT will rise tomorrow to confirm) but I defo think I have ovulated this morning as I had such intense cramping last night and today it seems to have eased off. Me and hubby DTD last night, and might give it one more go today just incase, then I just want to forget about it for one month!

@Mummyto1crazy1 I'm glad my message helped in some small way, I really feel for you, I can't imagine how frustrating and tiring it is how long this is going on for you. I hope you're feeling a bit better today?

@RBCoxie yes! Same, if it's between no pregnancy and a pregnancy that they can't date exactly then I'd take the pregnancy any day. It's not like we'll be widely off because we know pretty much when we ovulated and in standard cycles you'd just add on 2 weeks.

@CookieMonster3001 same. I read a study about conception after miscarriage and there was a 95% success rate in the cycle straight after. Which is obviously amazing but just one small random statistic and doesn't mean it's a done deal! I need to try and remain level headed with my expectations.

The last couple of days I've had rib pain which is really specific. I had it in my first pregnancy and I had it last month so I'm trying not to get too hopeful. It could just be aches and pains or something with my cycle.

hello ladies, I'd like to join this thread f that's ok? I have had a MMC a month ago and opted for surgical management that I found pretty straight forward (physically), albeit very sad and unexpected. I took test three weeks after the MVA as advised by a nurse at the hospital, it was all clear. Initially we planned to wait until first period but we didn't in the end and having regular unprotected sex since I stopped bleeding. I have not been tracking ovulation yet, maybe I will if AF arrives in the next couple of weeks which is what should happen if I didn't get pregnant.

I know everyone says it's JUST for dating purposes but how do they go about it? say I got pregnant now and haven't discovered the pregnancy for a couple of weeks. When will my 12 week scan be? And they always worry if the baby looks a fair few days behind or a couple of weeks? I can't get my head round it? I know I might sound like I contadict myself- on one side I sound worried on the other I worry about the dating issues this may cause. I guess my instincts are saying- just keep trying for the rainbow baby! sending baby dust to you all!

@RbCoxie That sounds horrendous having to wait that long, and esp it being such a personal matter, I was struggling to even walk In and out of a&e with the amount of blood, but I'm now glad I got to go home and pass it there, I'm sorry for what u went through, I am so happy to now say my bleeding has slowed down massively, although not completely, I'm just hoping I'm seeing the light at end of tunnel now, last 2 times i thought I was it ended in disaster so I really cant see how there could be anymore to come out, has anyone any advice on the femometer app? I tracked ovulation through them and got a percentage of my levels, I then seen HCG testing strips and the picture showed it displaying percentage, so I ordered them, done one a few days ago before the big bleed and it was a strong line and done one today with the line faint, but it didn't show a percentage?? Should I keep doing them until I get a negative and then start the ovulation ones again? Xox

@mia2201 welcome to the group, sorry to hear about ur miscarriage, but just know this group is a great bunch of ladies that know exactly how u feel and can offer advice and kind words, I would suggest asking EPU for an early detection scan, or if u can afford it, book a private one, u can maybe roughly estimate how far along u would be depending on the date u stopped bleeding and trying to work out ovulation, try not to worry they can always figure out dates, it's just a little harder but can be done, I really hope u get ur positive test soon :) xox

@mia2201 welcome! I started the thread really to see if anyone else had any thoughts about conceiving immediately after miscarriage, as the information out there is so confusing. It's nice it has turned into such a supportive bunch of ladies!

Sorry for what you've just been through @mia2201. I'm glad you're feeling on the way to recovery.

In terms of dating I don't know exactly how they would date things, but same as you I'd happily wait til the 12 week scan to confirm. As far as I know you take the first day of miscarriage bleeding as day 1 of your cycle, but obviously that varies massively depending on how long you bled for or how long to ovulate, so I think you'd have to take some advice. It would be a nice problem to have though right!!?

And yes if you can afford a private scan that would be a good option. I think they are £60-£80 depending where you go and usually from 6 weeks.

@Mummyto1crazy1 I'm glad things are slowing down now, fingers crossed you're on the way out now. I use flo app so I don't know about the app you mentioned, and in terms of OPK I use CB and only do them on the few days I think I'm ovulating, they are smiley face or blank, so I've never tracked the lines getting darker etc. Sorry I can't help on that!
I've tried a few apps but prefer flo. X

So sorry for your loss @lamby12. I had a similar experience in December, MC at 6 weeks. I bled for about a week and after that, I waited a week and started TTC again. It was the only thing keeping me sane, to know that I'm trying again. I used OPKs and BBT to pinpoint ovulation and I ovulated 17 days after the start of the MC, which is only a couple days later than my usual. I can't tell you what is right to do for you, but in my experience, going back to TTC helped my mental health massively. Whatever you do, take care of yourself and best of luck! 🌈

@lamby12 Ignore previous post, I'm in the wrong thread!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

@eloiseislost no probs!

I have a question in hoping someone can clear up for me, so I am finally near the end of the bleeding, literally the tiniest bit but only when I wipe, I couldn't resist but do a pregnancy test and an ovulation test, so pregnancy test had a faint line but ovulation had a darker line, so my question is, do u count ur first day of miscarriage as CD1 or the day u stop bleeding as CD1, although my bleeding now is very light it's now been 15days of bleeding, and if on a normal cycle I ovulate day 14, is it possible to ovulate when there is still some blood, I am so confused, I know I just need to wait it out and see how I go, but I'm going nuts here and cant figure it out, xox

@lamby12 exactly! I'd much rather take a pregnancy that's not able to be dated for a while. But totally get that everyone is different!

@Mummyto1crazy1 so pleased to hear your bleeding has slowed down! It made me feel so much better when it happened to me! I have counted my first day of bleeding as CD1. One thing to note is that Ovulation tests can also pick up the pregnancy hormone HCG (it is a very similar hormone to the ovulation hormone LH) and therefore your ovulation test may be darker because of the remaining HCG you have left. In fact, I used my ovulation tests at the beginning of my miscarriage to monitor my HCG levels - it was incredibly dark to begin with but got lighter as my HCG levels dropped - when I got down to a lighter ovulation test that's when I did my pregnancy test and got a negative. My suggestion would be to carry on doing your ovulation tests - I'm no doctor but I would imagine they will get lighter over the next few days as your HCG levels drop. Hope this helps you!

@Mummyto1crazy1 not sure if this is helpful but these are my ovulation tests that I used. The first one is the first day of my miscarriage - as you can see - very dark! They then got lighter across the next few days as my HCG levels dropped and my last one was when I got a negative pregnancy test. They've since got even lighter and I'm back to my baseline level of LH so now I'm using them to see when I'll get my peak!