TTC after miscarriage

[lamby12]

Hi just wondered if anyone had any experience of continuing TTC after miscarriage. I had a loss at 5/6 weeks recently. The bleeding has now stopped (about 3 days clear) and I'm starting to feel back to normal physically. Emotionally I'm gutted as we have been trying for so long and a few close relatives who know have said we should wait a while to recover emotionally/physically.
Whilst I agree, I've also read that you're most fertile after a miscarriage and it's taken 18months of inconsistent ovulation/low hormones for me to get pregnant. I don't want to miss what could be an increased chance when my odds are low ordinarily.
The hospital said I should wait until a normal period for dating reasons only, they said nothing about risk of infection or complications getting pregnant straight away. I have no idea when I would ovulate (if) now.
Any experience out there?

Afternoon ladies!

So I think I should be 1DPO today. Managed to DTD again last night which is good. Temp hasnt increased much today, but I will probably have a slow rise. The TWW begins! I am gonna try my hardest not to think about it!!

@lamby12 95% success rate? wow.. I am going to pretend I never read that!

@mia2201 welcome! I am so sorry about your loss. I think when it comes to dating, they initially use the first day of your miscarraige/bleeding as cycle day one, and then I have read a lot of people end up having to have early scans which will then date the pregnancy for you. If you dont know when you ovulated, it might also be a bit difficult for you to pinpoint, but from what I have read, the majority of people have only been a couple of days out when they used the first day of bleeding as CD1.

@mummyto1crazy1 I think you should really count first day of bleeding as CD1, but I have a theory, that your cycles would be based on when you first get a negative pregnancy test. When I look back at my cycle, I have ovulated 12 days after getting my first negative test, and I would on a normal cycle, ovulate on CD12. This could be a complete coincidence, so please dont go off what I say, its just what I have found. Having said that, when logging, I still counted day one of bleeding as CD1. Also if you still have pregnancy hormone in your body, you will get a positive OPK as the structure of HCG and LH are almost identical. I would carry on testing until you get a negative and when you do, you should then start testing OPKS.From the looks of your LH chart, it seems as though your LH levels have dropped so keep testing and when it goes back to positive you should be ovulating!

@RBCoxie yes I'd take it!

@Mummyto1crazy1 sorry I can't help on this one as I didn't do any opks or pregnancy tests during the bleeding, I just did a pregnancy test when the bleeding stopped and it was negative. I did a CBD which I know has a high threshold but as I'd previously got a positive CBD I preferred just seeing it for sure in words. I suppose if I'd done a FRER it might have been a faint line, but I just took the CBD as my negative. I think you count the first day of bleeding as CD1.

@CookieMonster3001 woo good luck for the TWW, hope you can manage to distract yourself. I think I'm 6dpo today so maybe Monday/Tuesday I could test if no AF. I'm not sure if I will early test yet - I said I wouldn't this month as it could be left over HGC and get my hopes up but since I had a negative test last week I don't think that can happen. I've got these symptoms same as last month so I might do a test so that, if I'm not, I don't get too carried away and end up disappointed. If that makes any sense?!

@RBCoxie thanks for all the info and ur ovulation tests, it's good to use that as a base line, I've only just started testing, just got a negative on a pregnancy test, how awful is it that we have all been wanting a negative so we can try again, it really is heartbreaking how much I really wanted and needed that negative,

@CookieMonster3001 thanks for all the info too, I totally get ur theory and way of thinking, I would see it that way aswell. I thought it was counted from CD1 but just cause I have bleed for 15 days and my norm period is 4-5 days, I just didn't know how to predict ovulation, going to keep tracking and see how it goes,

@lamby12 thank u for all the advice, I was thinking of getting a CBD just to see the negative aswell, just to get the defendant answer, I've been wanting the bleeding to stop and get the negative so badly but didn't think getting it would hit me this hard. It's like a final goodbye to the baby that could have been, it's made me really sad. But also happy that I should be able to try again soon, it really is horrible the emotions isn't it?

@Mummyto1crazy1 I totally get that I cried after I got the negative and then threw away the 6 positive tests I still had in the cupboard! Ended up looking at them again, lines still there, seeing them getting darker and remembering how I felt! Had to also delete the photos off my phone that I sent to OH as I keep glancing them in my camera roll. The negative test is like a definitive moment, I hated even buying the tests so much I ordered them on Amazon. I had hoped my days of buying pregnancy tests were over so it was a really awful bit doing the test. I get it!
But all that binning the tests, seeing the negative etc did bring a finality to it and I feel like I've moved on now. Not happy of course but I'm not clinging onto it any more.
X

@Mummyto1crazy1 I absolutely get that. I felt exactly the same. I was initially so pleased when I got my negative result and then immediately felt so guilty for feeling that way. It is absolutely heartbreaking - it's never easy. As @lamby12 said, I also went through deleting photos etc - I still have a video from my early scan which shows the heartbeat which I don't think I'll ever be able to get rid of, but I'm okay with that. I don't want to ever totally forget my first pregnancy and what I've learned from it. Ultimately I know that my future rainbow baby wouldn't be able to exist without this experience and that's what I'm holding on to x

Hi hope everyone is ok, I tried to have a breather from my phone over the weekend. So I caved and did a test this morning and it's a definite BFN. I started trying to look for a faint line and get more light etc then thought god what am I doing, back here again in the bathroom looking for lines when there clearly isn't any!

I know it's still very early to test, 9dpo at earliest because I'm not 100% on Ov day, but I feel like I just know now that I'm not. Last month I had lots of symptoms at this point and I knew before I tested. This month I had some twinges similar last week but nothing the last few days - AF must be on the way.

Feels like a blow because it was like the first chance after the miscarriage and a chance to not 'go back there' into TTC hell!

Hope everyone else is ok and have more luck. X

@lamby12 oh I was the opposite! I cried when I saw my negative, but I also couldn't bring myself to throw away my positive tests so I still have them in my draw. Tried to convince myself it was so when I fall pregnant again I can compare them to something, but tbh I just cant let go of them!
I know how you feel, I am counting down the days until I can test, but at the same time I want to wait till AF. I am so torn. I mean I hated the TWW before I got pregnant, but I hate it more now because I am so scared to see a negative and scared to see a positive as well!!

Im 4DPO today and no real symptoms either (I know at this stage I wouldn't even be pregnant yet but cant help but want to feel something!) I have been having mild cramping since I ovulated but that's about it. My BBT temps also seem to be a bit lower than normal too and hoping that's not gonna be an issue. I kinda feel like I have written this month off already.

When are you due on?

Yes I sort of wanted to keep them but I knew I'd just keep looking at them and obsessing over how I feel like it's been stolen!

I ended up doing the other test this aft and still a BFN, no hint of a line. I'm so down today, I feel like I'm mourning the miscarriage all over again because I hadn't 100% accepted things with the hope that it would happen straight after. I feel like I've had concrete poured into me in terms of sluggishness and laziness which is usually a sign AF is coming for me.

I would normally be due any time now as short cycle, this time last month I'd had my BFP on this day.

@lamby12 oh no hun im so sorry about your BFN. It could still be early days. When I fell pregnant, I got a BFN at 9DPO and then a BFP on 11DPO. 9DPO is usually the most common day to implant, so you never know until AF shows up!
I know how you feel though and its totally understandable how you are feeling. I think I would be the same. We pin a little hope into the fact that we might get pregnant straight after a mc, and it almost makes dealing with the mc a little easier, so I can empathise with you on mourning over your mc again. Please be easy and kind on your self, its a hard thing to go through.

Sending you lots of love.

5DPO here for me and nothing really to report. Temps are finally going up slightly, been a bit of a slow rise but tbh think the mc threw everything into a total meltdown. Similar symptoms to last cycle, stabby pains in boobs, creamy wet CM and cramping... but that is most likely hormones. Still got another 10 days to go before AF. My LP is usually 15 days long so its a longgg wait! TTC is literally the only time I wish days away!!

Hi @CookieMonster3001 I have everything crossed for you, I really hope it happens for you.

I think AF is here for me. Just a little bit of pink discharge but it's the start because I have that familiar dragging feeling and I have felt crazy angry today. Mostly about the fact that is hasn't happened this month. I did FRER this morning before the pink and it was a BFN and no AF is here so I'm out.

I think I am going to come off the chat for a bit - I've been so down the last few days knowing it's over and reliving the miscarriage, obsessive about testing and googling everything I feel like it's eating me up a bit. My screen time on my phone has been through the roof and I feel really sluggish and lazy as I haven't been doing much else.

I've just been furloughed as of this week so I'm going to really try and use the next few weeks to get out of this rut, get out exercising, do lots of jobs round the house and do plenty of cooking. Otherwise I will spend my whole furlough on mumsnet and I'll feel rubbish personally if I do that!

I'm trying to train my brain that obsessing and wanting it more won't make a difference so I'm going to try and 'get on' as much as possible for the next month, that's the plan for now anyway!

I'll keep checking for any updates on here though so please keep me posted on any news. Good luck ladies

@lamby12 I am sorry to hear you have been furloughed as well. I completely understand you not wanting to be on MN for a while. Take as much time as you need to feel better, look after yourself and be kind to yourself. Lots of love and hugs and hope we hear from you soon!

Hello everyone, hope you don't mind my joining in a bit late? (I was going to say late to the party, but that somehow sounded really inappropriate!)

I miscarried at 10 weeks in December. Nothing physically too traumatic, everything passed by itself and just left me a little anaemia, which resolved within a couple of weeks. I've had my first period which wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, no rocking in a corner crying at least!

We'd been trying for 10 months before we got pregnant, so not holding out too much hope of conceiving again before I'm 37. Started the OPKs on CD10 now CD13 and just waiting to see what my new cycle is like... Same/ different? Who knows?!

I'm so sorry that some of you have had such horrendous times, yet have shown such strength and resilience getting through it. ❤️

I think it's personal choice when you try again, as long as you get a negative test before.

I've had two mc. The first one at 8 weeks I waited to have a period before ttc again and it took a year and a half to get pregnant again.

That pregnancy sadly ended in mc at 5 weeks the week before Christmas. DH and I decided we wouldn't actively try but couldn't be bothered using condoms. We assumed it would take ages to get pregnant again so I'd not fall pregnant before my first period.

Found out 2 days ago I'm pregnant again. Clear blue said conceived 2-3 weeks ago.

@Trying93 congrats on your pregnancy.

I stopped bleeding a week ago from a miscarriage that started NYE. hoping to TTC again now. did you take any supplements? xx

@Emmav2020 thanks. Sorry to hear that. Just folic acid. I think just relaxing and not obsessing about getting pregnant helped

@BellaBella36 welcome lovely! I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, at 10 weeks that must have been awful. Glad your first period wasn't too bad! I have heard so many people saying their first after MC was horrendous which has made me slightly nervous as mine is due next Friday! fingers crossed it doesn't take 10 months this time! They do say that we are more likely to conceive in the 3 months following a mc and I like to use that to keep myself positive! My cycle is probably going to be about 7 days longer as I normally ovulate on CD12 and this month it was CD18. Currently 6DPO so keeping my fingers crossed!

@Trying93 I am so sorry to hear about your 2 miscarriages but congratulations on your new pregnancy. Keeping my fingers crossed for you that its a sticky healthy bean. How are you feeling? It is my first cycle after mc and didn't bother waiting for my first period and now just waiting to see if I am pregnant again.

@CookieMonster3001 thanks. I don't even feel pregnant I can hardly believe it happened so quick.

Sorry to hear about your mc. I hope you are pregnant again but if your not don't worry about your period. My first one after my first mc was actually lighter than normal so they aren't all horrendous

@Trying93 ahh did you not have any symptoms that gave it away? Thank you for the reassurance! Hopefully mine will be too. I usually only have light periods anyway (normally) that last about 2-3 days so hopefully they just go back to normal.

@CookieMonster3001 no normal pregnancy symptoms. I have a lump on my breast which the doctor reckons is a cyst or blocked milk duct. It swelled up and my skin was all red last time I was pregnant so that happened again and thats what made me take a test.

@Trying93 oh that's interesting! I also have a blocked milk duct in my left nipple and I am wondering whether that's why last cycle my left nipple kept getting a lot of sharp stabbing pains!

@CookieMonster3001 my doctor told me it wasn't pregnancy related and it was a coincidence it had occurred at the same time. Happened twice now so I think it must be connected to pregnancy

Hi everyone,

Jumping in v. late.
I had a very similar experience to a lot of the people above (sadly). I miscarried at 7 weeks at the end of November. We did use protection when DTD for the following month as I was still getting faint positives and didn't want any extra stress or confusion. I had a normal (ish) period on 21Dec, 4 weeks after the first day of bleeding from MC. Then I fell pregnant the next month; the first month we tried again. I normally have short cycles: 25/26 days so the 28 days from MC was marginally longer than normal.

So I'm currently 4w+3 and getting a nice "2-3 weeks on CBD", but it doesn't feel real. I feel so completely different about this pregnancy than the last, very anxious and basically waiting for something bad to happen. I'm still mourning my little summer baby and all the things I had imagined for him/her. I find it difficult to imagine this pregnancy will result in the little wriggly happy baby we both really want.

I'm so glad we tried again quickly and were lucky enough to conceive again. But having a miscarriage does rob you of some of the blissful naivety of being pregnant.

So basically my thoughts are with all of you, it is so hard. I hope everyone that hasn't yet, gets their BFPs soon. Wishing for lots of sticky beans and little bubs this autumn x

Also should've summarised the actual advice from my midwife regarding TTC post MC:

The EPU wouldn't fully discharge me until I had a negative pregnancy test, and really didn't want me to TTC until that happened.

Midwife said there shouldn't be any problem trying before first period but advised against it for timing reasons (as other posters have noted). She also said there is a little fertility boost in the first six months post MC, so if I wanted to try again it is a good time to.

I did track ovulation post MC and I ovulated a few days after my BFN.

My HCG dropped very sharply post MC, so my ovulation was not really delayed. They think I miscarried a week or so before and only expelled at 7weeks, based on my HCG levels (EPU couldn't scan me until after most of my tissue had passed, due to weekend/lockdown etc. so by the time I was scanned they could only confirm there wasn't anything in there and my HCG was too low for 7 weeks). It had been 3+ on CBD about 4 days before MC, so it had been high.

If your pregnancy was further along I think it takes longer for HCG to drop, then to ovulate etc. So I don't expect timelines would be the same for most people.

My midwife also advised that residual HCG can confuse ovulation tests so it's best to get a BFN before using them to track ovulation.

Hi, can I join in as well? I miscarried in mid December. It was an IVF pregnancy so absolutely devastating. We had an early pregnancy scan at 8 weeks, where it was measuring six weeks. I had to wait two weeks for the follow up scan, but they confirmed it had stopped growing so I had a medically managed miscarriage. We spoke to the consultant this week who said that we could restart IVF in a few months (you normally need a three month break so that the follicles haven’t been affected by all the drugs from last time). I’m 39 () and the infertility issues have largely come from PCOS, but he said weirdly as you get older the PCOS helps because your reproductive system is finally acting as it should do. According to the app I’m using my period is late, but I’m trying not to read anything into it as I read it can take 8 weeks for your cycle to return. I am really really not trying to get into mind-f’ry of closely following each cycle as it devastates me each month when it doesn’t work out. Instead, I’m trying to eat healthily and strengthen my core muscles / pelvic floor. I have two other children who did a number on my pelvis in pregnancy, and even with just making it to ten weeks, it had already destabilised so I’m really trying to get strong in anticipation of falling pregnant again