Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

been ttc #1 since forever...

975 replies

nomoremagnolia · 17/10/2007 18:24

Feeling very fed up with failing every month and wondered if there's anyone in the same boat? It's a lonely boat on a journey to nowhere at the moment, but if anyone else wants to join me, some company would be nice

OP posts:
RahRah1 · 17/10/2007 18:30

I'll join you...

I'm Rah and been trying for over 3 years now. Been pregnant once in that time, but lost the pregnancy. That was nearly 12 months ago and every month feels worse than the last.

We are under the fertility consultants, but have nothing too wrong with us in the fertility department. So its all unexplained. Starting IUI treatment in January, so fingers crossed.

Sorry you are in the same boat... it sucks!

But nice to meet you! XX

Original poster
nomoremagnolia · 17/10/2007 18:36

Hi RahRah1. Sorry you're here too, you're right it does suck. We've been ttc #1 for nearly 2 years, I'm on Clomid at the moment, back to hospital in Feb if no joy. Have never been pg ever, even for a day I don't know if that's insensitive to anyone (inc you) who's lost a pg but it makes me quite sad that in 23 cycles we've not even managed a fertilised egg.

OP posts:
Original poster
nomoremagnolia · 17/10/2007 18:41

Sorry, I read that back and despite saying I didn't mean to upset anyone I can see how that would look to anyone who had had a m/c. I'm feeling sorry for myself, that's all and life not fair in either case.

OP posts:
Ready · 17/10/2007 18:49

Fancy seeing two of my favourite MNers on this here thread

I'll join if I may?? As you both already know, but in case anyone else joining the thread hasn't already listened to me whinge-ing on - Been ttc 14 cycles now, and tests show there are no reasons why it isn't happening, it's just a matter of time apparently

I often wonder if I will ever be lucky enough to be a Mum

Ready · 17/10/2007 18:51

Just to say, Nomore - what you said strikes a chord with me too - not that I want to have a m/c, obviously - but I would dearly love a fertilised egg. Hugs.

indignatio · 17/10/2007 18:51

Don't know if this will help or not

ttc for 4 and a half yrs before falling for ds. ttc for a further 4 yrs before falling again then miscarried. 12 months later miscarried again. The pain of not falling pg is immense, as is the pain of miscarrying. They are different pains IMHO.

indignatio · 17/10/2007 18:53

Before falling for ds I was actually jealous of people who had miscarried (as it showed they could get pregnant). I am personally ashamed of that feeling now.

RahRah1 · 17/10/2007 19:07

Hi Ready XXX - hope you are OK?

nomoremagnolia, No offense taken. Moan away you deserve it. We were trying for 18 months prior to conceiving and had a problematic pregnancy from about 9 weeks onwards. I had a baby boy at 24 weeks, but he died later on in neo-natal.
I was only moaning to Ready the other day why did we have to wait so long for him and then we lost him and now we are now not catching again. God why is life so pants!
But I would of rather had him that not at all, so I can image how you are feeling. We all have separate issues I suppose and they are all massive to those individuals. Personally I feel so let down in life, some of my friends that started conceiving around the same time as us, now have two kids... GRRR

indignatio - sorry to hear about your MC's and TTC for so long as well. I go onto a forum where other people have lots their babies and lots have become pregnant very quickly afterwards. I often feel jealous of them , its just human nature! But Its embarrassing after what they have been through.

RahRah1 · 17/10/2007 19:09

whoops,

indignatio - that was meant to be 'lost their babies' - not lots...

sorry!

indignatio · 17/10/2007 19:13

Sorry - I wasn't meaning to make anyone feel bad. I was just trying to say that my view of falling pregnant and misccarying has changed since I first miscarried.

In a way, my post was supposed to help, in that I am so lucky to have a ds after so long trying for him. Just not so lucky in the ability to give him a sibling.

RahRah1 · 17/10/2007 19:20

indignatio - you did not make me feel bad. Its good to hear people who have been TTC and had problems, but have gone on to have a baby. So sorry you have had M/C and been TTC for number 2
I was just sympathizing that I often get jealous too. It makes me feel bad that I get jealous of people that have been through so much, but sometimes you can't help it when you want something so much yourself.

Ready · 17/10/2007 20:05

Rah - Biggest hugs I can find, just for you. You deserve to be a mum very soon. It's natural to feel the way you do about life, and what it has handed you. I've said it before and I will say it again - you are such an inspiration to me - I really admire you

Original poster
nomoremagnolia · 17/10/2007 20:21

indignatio - sorry, I spoke out of turn and realised it after I posted.
RahRah1 - about your baby, my BF works in neo-nateal intensive care, it's a very tough job, she cries regularly for both sadness for those she loses and for joy at those who pull through.
hi Ready, though you might come and join me.

OP posts:
RahRah1 · 17/10/2007 21:09

Are you still ironing Ready?

RahRah1 · 17/10/2007 21:15

nomoremagnolia - your friend has an amazing job, but it must be so hard.
The first time we went into the unit we could not believe the intensity of it all. It is an amazing long journey when a baby makes it from being so prem. Some of the babies in the unit that made it were very small. Our baby was big in comparison and he was only 1lb 7. It is absolutely amazing!

RahRah1 · 17/10/2007 21:21

Oh and Thanks Ready for the inspiration... you can shower me in as much as you want... LOL

I am not really an inspiration... I am often found in my PJ's balling into my pillow... crying out "Why me???" when trying to ignore the 10 O'Clock news about lots of people dying and being brutalized...
Like I said, when its your problem it is very self consuming and the worst thing in your life.

Now Ready get on with that ironing!

Chocolatedays · 17/10/2007 22:19

OOOOH fantastic! A thread for me to join. Been TTC for 3.5 yrs. (+40 cyles)

Think I might be the longest serving member on mumsnet not to graduate! {hoping that makes you feel better}
Been through shed loads of tests - and unexplained. Frustrating & heartbreaking.

Now trying the big boys treatments.... fingers crossed.

Somehow I still manage to find a glimmer of hope every cycle. Clearly I have lost it!

Let's hang in there - it will happen.

Original poster
nomoremagnolia · 17/10/2007 22:28

hi chocolatedays - 3.5 yrs how do you do it? RahRah too. I'm in awe of you both, I'm losing it after just under 2 yrs. Colleague at work tried for 6 years, I can't imagine it. Df's job is hard, but she loves it too. A full-term baby to her looks like a 6 month old!

OP posts:
RahRah1 · 17/10/2007 22:42

lol I bet... Especially those big ones that come out extra big! There was a thread on here about a baby that was mega big when born. I think it was about 15lb (off the top of my head).... I think the lady was from Russia or somewhere where they eat a lot of potatoes. LOL

Chocolatedays - Big Hugs... when do you start your treatment? I start IUI in Jan. I'm excited, but at the same time aware that it might put us under pressure if faced with any more disappointment (basically if it does not work).... Trying to stay positive though...
Plus my consultant refuses to use clomid on me as he wants to avoid multiples at all costs, due to my previous prem history. So he is doing IUI without egg stimulants, but has a lower success rate. I'm like bung loads of drugs my way if it means I get pregnant, but he's not listening at the moment!

Ready · 17/10/2007 22:50

Oooooh Chocolatedays - I am soooooo glad you are on this thread I think about you a lot

You are another inspiration, 3.5 years and you still find a glimmer of hope each cycle!! I know I am the Positivity Princess, but if I am still here after 3.5 years I might have let the tiara slip a smidge
How are you, sweets??? Tell us all about the big-boy treatments

Rah - I got side-tracked from the ironing with watching Kirstie and Phil tell us the best and worst places to live. Cracked up that Manchester is in the list of worst - I love Manchester - it rocks! But I don't live near it anymore
You are a total inspiration, even with the confession that you ball into your pjs! Why shouldn't you sob into a pillow? You've bloody-well earned the right to! I think you are amazing because after all you have been through you soldier on with ttc when most people would throw in the towel!!

Nomoremagnolia - I am with you, they are awe-inspiring women, and they can spur us on! We will get there (all together would be brilliant wouldn't it?? )
Hope you are feeling a little less bunged up and the headache is gone. I better check our scrabble board

Ready · 17/10/2007 22:53

Crossed with you Rah - 15lb baby

2 of my friends have conceived on the first shot with IUI, so if it is to be believed that things happen in 3s - you can be number 3 I am so hopeful for you. Try to relax and enjoy yourself up until the treatment, and don't worry about the lack of drugs

RahRah1 · 17/10/2007 22:59

Ohhhh Ready,,,, your too nice.... , but I love compliments.

I'm so glad I met you, you have been a real support and rock and listened to all my moaning and complaining.... thanks you {{{HUGS}}}

Yes we will all get there in the end. Promise!

Anyway I did not know you wore a tiara, it must be a WAG thing! You WAGS are sooooo posh!

Off to bed before you shout at me! Nite XX

ReadySteadyTrickOrTreat · 18/10/2007 17:17
Blush
gillypumpkin · 18/10/2007 17:32

I feel I have not been TTC for long enough to join this thread but I am in my 11th cycle since a mc last Oct. Will you accept a junior?

Ready and Nomore I know and love to bits already (my rocks int eh TTC No 1 thread!), but this is the first time I'm properly meeting you Rah and Chocolatedays Hello!

Indignatio I know what you mean about mc, it takes all the innocence out of pg in 1 great swoop and even though I am so desperate to get pg again I am scared it will end in disappointment again after trying for so long.

ReadySteadyTrickOrTreat · 18/10/2007 17:35

A junior My fingers and toes are firmly crossed for you Gilly that you never have to utter the words "ttc cycle #12" -

I love that I am a rock - Is it odd that I feel closer to some MNers than I do to my RL friends??? I am not ashamed to admit it though - it's true