been ttc #1 since forever...

[nomoremagnolia]

Feeling very fed up with failing every month and wondered if there's anyone in the same boat? It's a lonely boat on a journey to nowhere at the moment, but if anyone else wants to join me, some company would be nice

OMG noooomoooorescarynames, I have tried to convince myself of that, as I was positive that I could feel something moving in my stomach! But had full on period, on the exact date I was due, heavy bleeding/cramps, PMT, Lasted 5days... I'm so delusional.... Slap me too! Plus the movement in my stomach was probably due to the stomach upset I caught in Morocco! God this TTC makes you lose your marbles I'm also mid-cycle now...Must be one of though mid-cycle dreams! If only!

Jess - sorry you got a BFN... GRRRRR... But lesson is don't test too early...most likely it will always led to a BFN. Take it from someone that knows!

Ready - had a good time on Saturday. But had too much to drink and suffered Sun and today ... maybe I should keep off the booze for a bit but xmas is coming up!

coggy - It is not you it is them! Same happened to me. My consultant said 3-4 months and I called them to find out why I had not heard anything and they said I was on the list for Jan, which made it 7 months ... I should count my lucky stars they had me down... so glad you have got their arses into gear! But they are a bit hopeless! They don't make a hard situation any better!

poppy75 - I know exactly how you feel. There was a few of us that started TTC around the same time. Everyone caught straight away and some have gone on to have child number 2 as well! GRRRRRRR Where does the time go?

Chocolatedays - You sound like me.. I have been know to pee of a stick when its been impossible to be pregnant.. whats all that about??? Those cheap tests don't help either, as they are so cheap you don't feel as wasteful! Maybe we should chuck them all out and buy some deluxe gold trimmed ones and only use them when we really could be...Trouble is with that theory, I think I am most months... whoops! Would be broke within a couple of months

Hope everyone is OK....and hope my replies make sense.. I tend to struggle to type/make sense when I have a hangover.

Good morning.

Well I'm feeling better this morning and I'm determined not to test until at least tomorrow, maybe even Thursday. Feeling slightly more confident this month as I've got quite sore (.)(.)s, still feeling sick and I do have the tiny hope of my faint, faint pink line to go on. Maybe you're right chocolatedays - I'm almost enjoying having a few days of hope. Although of course it's further to fall when AF arrives.

The other problem is that if/when I do ever get a BFP I will have really mixed emotions. On the one hand I will be overjoyed. But on the other hand I won't be looking forward to having yet more early internal scans and the possibility of another ep and more surgery.

poppy - sorry to hear about your m/c. Have you had any tests done to find out if there are any problems. I got pregnant fairly quickly first time, but it's been 8 months since my missed m/c and I've only managed one suspected ep (which I'm not sure counts). I worry all the time that I was damaged somehow at the time.

nomore - I was feeling really sick in a pregnant way in July. I did a test on CD12 and it was BFP! Previous AF was light, although obviously it didn't turn out well as I was in surgery within 6 days. This is why I keep cheap ebay tests in so that I can test at random times of the month and reassure myself when I see BFN.

Hi rahrah and coggy - are you both going for IVF?

Hello to everyone else .

Morning Jess... glad you are feeling better and keeping my fingers crossed for you for the next couple of days. I'm desperate to become pregnant again, but I think when I actually do it will introduce a completely new set of emotions and turmoil. But I suppose the only way to deal with it is when it happens. So can sympathize with you on that one!
I'm starting IUI in Jan. I have been given three cycles and then will be re-assessed after that for IVF or next step. January here we come, I hope its a far better year for us than 2007!

for everyone that wants one! I am not an early tester myself - did it once and the disappointment was uncontrollable - but I can understand the urge to test and to know. I really hope you get your answer very soon Jess.

Rahrah I know what you mean about other people going on to have No.2 and in the meantime we have been unable to conceive. My BF has just had her second this am, on the anniversary of my mc and we had always wanted to have matching bumps. Needless to say we have never managed it! Another of my friends has had 3 LOs since getting married 4 years ago! How do people do it???

Nomore (cycle bud) please don?t say that you are already feeling periody as I know I am shortly to follow!

Poppy I am exactly the same, I was motivated and enthusiastic about work. After the mc I became obsessed with TTC again and everything else has taken the back step in my eyes. You are not alone.

Hi everyone else .

gilly - my face feels a bit red... but thanks for the slap... I needed that!

I know I can't beleive how some people only have to look at a willy and then pop them out.
I know your probably V happy your BF had a baby, but I also know its very hard at the same time... {{{HUGS}}} Infact when one of my friends had her baby I cried buckets...well actually I cry everytime..

Hi ladies... feeling under the weather and pre-menstrual CD27 today so it's pretty obvious what is coming

How bloody rude of them Coggy - and a good job you chased it. I hope some good things arrived in the post for you. I would be inclined to push the issue with regards to the consultant saying you would be able to have 2 cycles. Although obviously I hope you don't need to push it and get your BFP before!!

Chocolatedays - I have to say, I actually agree with you, if peeing on a stick helps then go for it. I only worry about those that get more stressed out by it. Giggled at you thinking you would be setting a cat amongst the pigeons - How are you petal?

PMSL at Rah's comment at some people just looking at a willy - it's bloody true though isn't it. Was I dreaming or did I see a thread on here that was pregnant after sterilisation?? If that was true that would just kill me

Welcome to the thread Poppy Sorry that you are feeling so demotivated. I completely understand where you are coming from.

Gilly - Same to you, sweets, not having motivation is awful. I am feeling blah at the moment too - it's almost indifference, not really knowing what emotion I am feeling. Big hugs.

Nomore - How are you chick? Are you still feeling pre-menstrual? This early on??

Jess - I can only imagine how scary and mixed-up you will feel with your next BFP. I guess the obvious advice is to try not to let previous things affect you, but that is easier said than done. Hang in there. I am sorry about your BFN

I think we definitely have scared off GryffinGirl

Hope I've not missed anyone... I am off to sulk about another failed cycle

BIG HUGS READY....

Remember you have not failed... the right eggs is just still cooking!

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}

Hello thanks for that - I think I must sound so negative but really I'm very positive in RL.

Ready - know exactly how you feel but think of all the wine and stuff you can have now (or for the next week or so)

Jess - fab symbol for boobs must use next time! (.)(.) will randomly use now as makes me giggle lots!!! I've had U/S scan of womb etc and all is fine and ovulation bld tests that suggest all is working ok. Went to GP and am going to have all the bld tests again and also DH will have to do a sample he's not too keen- I think we'll wait until after hols when we are more relaxed

Gilly - Glad I'm not the only demotivated one

All that talk of cooking eggs - realised I'm very hungry off to make dinner

Poppy - Yes!!! I will be able to indulge with some goats cheese

Rah - Love the positive spin - not failed, just not the right time

((ready)) far too many s in your post have some on me
Rah very positive attitude I like it
I remember toomuch saying on the ttc#1 thread that she'd have her last drink before the 2ww then if AF arrived celebrate having another 2 weeks of drinking before giving up again.

..and as hard as it may seem to those of us who long for a baby remember that for some people being pg is as mch of a nightmare for them as not being pg is for us. Thinking of the 'got a bfp, not sure how I feel...' thread in particular.

Nooomoooooore - You know, I looked at my post and felt at the amount of I had used.

I think that makes it harder for me, when I see people who are pregnant/have babies that don't seem to cherish the gift they have been lucky enough to receive.

oh, making more counteracting work for me...ok here goes

I'm sure they cherish the babies it's just a hock to be pg when not expecting it. I do understand how you feel, it's just dawned on me recently that not all pg's are as longed for as ours are/will be (not too sure of tense there?) Someone on MN said they may have had an unwanted pg, but never an unwanted child - I'm sure that's the case 99% of the time (though I know there are unwanted babies too)

shock not hock

Sorry, you expressed how I was feeling much more eloquently than I did. I didn't mean that every unwanted pregnancy wasn't cherished in the long run. I just think that some people fall pregnant accidentally and it just doesn't feel fair.

I should stop - if I keep digging I'll end up in Australia

Life's not fair sometimes -but it's different not fair for each of us
Can I come to Australia with you?

off to bed, see you tomorrow

RahRah - isn't it annoying when they don't get their arses in gear?
You'd think everyone working in a fertility clinic would be well trained up on how fragile we can feel sometimes and, so, go out of their way to make the whole wretched process easier!!!
Rant, Rant!!!!!

Having said that...I am VERY pleased that I have a confirmed appointment in eight days time and have been madly running around today getting another 250 blood tests done in time for it.
Okay, okay, a slight exageration...but why give me a list of about 12 bloods to do (and get the results of)with only 8 days warning!
These people are MAD!!!
(Plus...two of them are CD5 tests and so they will not be done in time! )

I do hope your clinic for IUI runs a lot smoother Rah!

Jess...I am going for IVF on the NHS. Not sure exactly when I'll start but I had the drug list through yesterday......I am going to be rattling!!!
Just the drugs along would cost up to £1,000 apparently...thank goodness for the NHS I say!!!!!

Ready...I am certainly hedging my bets over the next few months as we are still ttc naturally (who am I trying to kid??!!!) plus the IVF in the pipeline AND we have booked in for an adoption information meeting in the New Year!!!
We WILL get a child somewhere, somehow (I hope!)

Phew.....think that's everything!

Hope you don't mind me dropping in. I have been trying on and off for forever (well 10 years does seem never ending). A few years back I did 9 months on Clomid with no success.

Every couple of years we have another go but lack of success and the stress gets to us and we stop charting and actively trying.

However in July out of the blue I discover I was pregnant. First time ever. Miscarried quite early, but I now have hope that I can conceive. So I am on my 4th cycle now, and already finding it tough.

Hi all

Coggy... I laughed reading your post, I was madly running about getting bloods done today and trying to book in swabs. LOL.. We had a letter through inviting us to a group session with 10 other couples on the 15th November, but the nurse must have the results of bloods and other tests before that date or you miss your slot... considering it normally takes them 3+ weeks to get the results in, we needed to get everything done this week ..These people don't have a clue and certainly don't make it any easier. I feel our feelings get somewhat over looked considering how grateful we are to have the treatment IYKWIM...
To top it all off I have had all the tests twice before, this is my third lot! GRRRRR

orchidgirl - Welcome, nice to met you. Sorry to hear about your M/C, but your right it also gives you hope.