Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

been ttc #1 since forever...

975 replies

nomoremagnolia · 17/10/2007 18:24

Feeling very fed up with failing every month and wondered if there's anyone in the same boat? It's a lonely boat on a journey to nowhere at the moment, but if anyone else wants to join me, some company would be nice

OP posts:
ReadySteadyTrickOrTreat · 24/10/2007 22:07

Coggy - That is great news that you have an appointment, a tad frustrating that you have to have all the bloods and everything at such short notice, fingers crossed for that. £1,000 of medication - wow! It's no wonder they limit the amount of chances people have.
I hope you don't mind my prying (please feel free to tell me where to go) - have you been given a reason for your infertility?

Orchidgirl - Welcome to the thread So sorry that you have been trying for so long. Really puts my 14 cycles into perspective doesn't it - Very sorry about your miscarriage, lovely that it was able to give you hope though. Are you charting at the moment? I find it quite stressful, have had a break from temping this cycle, but will probably go back to it next month.

Hello everyone else. How are you all?? I am very low this evening. Just been in tears all day and full of cold.

ReadySteadyTrickOrTreat · 24/10/2007 22:08

Crossed with you Rah - big hugs. Sorry you and Coggy have been pin-cushions - I hope that you both find it has all been worth it.

noooomoooorescarynames · 24/10/2007 22:13

Ready ((hugs)) hope you feel better soon
orchidgirl crikey 10 years how do you cope with that?? I'm approaching 2 yrs ttc and it's killing me

orchidgirl · 25/10/2007 08:22

Ready Yes I am charting. I don't find it stressful (I feels as if I am doing something), although my DH does! He hates performing on demand. He always enjoys the first few cycles, but then starts feeling the pressure. That's why we normally actively try for 6-12 months, then back off for a while. Not not-try, just stop the "its CD15, be home early".

nomore How do I cope? With a lot of tears behind closed doors, and a pretence to the world that babies just aren't on our agenda. It is always toughest when friends and relatives fall pregnant outside of relationships then go into panic about what they are going to do (that sounds more judgemental than I mean, but I cant see another way of saying it). The worst recently was a close friend who announced she is pregnant and is due a couple of days before I would have been... and I have to be happy for them and interested in how her pregnancy is going. Not nice I know, but that's how I feel at the moment. I'll get over it.

noooomoooorescarynames · 25/10/2007 09:12

oh orchidgirl, that's exactly what I do - pretend I'm not interested in babies and go home and ball my eyes out to DH (who mostly understands but occasionally tells me to pull myself together in a 'no-one's died' kind of way) I don't have too many close friends with babies (thank goodness) but I still seem to be surrounded by them at work etc.

noooomoooorescarynames · 25/10/2007 09:13

actually if I'm honest it's the pg ladies/pg announcements I find harder to 'cope' with, once the babies are born it's somehow easier (or harder to feel so nasty towards a tiny newborn - I still feel though)

jess1996 · 25/10/2007 09:21

Well 14dpo for me today and waiting to see whether the old witch wil show her face. I was too ashamed to post yesterday as I gave in to temptation and used one of my clearblue tests. I thought I saw the faintest of faint lines so I opened it up to have a better look (please tell me I'm not the only one who's ever done this), then a line became visible. I think it's just an evaporation line though from drying the test out. Anyway, I've promised my DH no more testing until the weekend.

orchidgirl hello and welcome to the thread. I don't know how you've managed to ttc for 10 years. I've been ttc for 15 months and I'm practically having a nervous breakdown!

ready sorry you're feeling down. I always find the first day or two of af really bad, but then I recover and start feeling hopeful for the next month.

coggy Good luck with the appointment. Have you been waiting long for IVF on the NHS?

poppy I saw the (.)(.)s symbol on MN and it made me laugh so I try and use it whenever I can.

Hello to everyone else.

gillypumpkin · 25/10/2007 11:18

Jess you are not the only one opening up tests. We have a lady on the TTC after mc thread who does it every time, photographs them and puts them on her profile so we can all offer an opinion . If this is your way of coping, so be it

Rah, sorry about the slap hope the redness goes down PMSL at the willy waving and pg follows. We are obviously (and unfortunately) made of sterner stuff! Good luck with the bloods.

Coggy good to hear your drug list came through; just think you are going to be rattling for a good cause

Orchidgirl, welcome to the thread; I admire your resilience a try for such a long time. I really hope it happens soon for you.

Hi to everyone else!!!!!

ReadySteadyTrickOrTreat · 25/10/2007 11:35

CD1, the start of cycle 15 Not sure how much more of this I can cope with

Rainbowdays · 25/10/2007 12:10

Sorry to intrude here, please use me as a punching bag if you want too.

Ready - just wanted to send you the biggest hug and wish I could supply you with all the luxuries that you deserve as comfort for being on horrible cd1 again. It breaks my heart everytime I read that you are starting another cycle, I get so hopeful each time and feel myself crashing down when I read the words cd1 for you again. {{{{hugs}}}}

rah - ready is right you do deserve to be a mum soon too, just like all the wonderful ladies here. I hope that all your dreams come true soon.

rattlingchains · 25/10/2007 12:17

Thought I?d managed to give up MN for a bit, then Nomore creates this thread just for me. I?d got to the stage where I at long last felt better about my RL friends getting pregnant than folk I don?t really know ? aided by MN fools who were complaining that it was 3 months, no BFP. Or that they had 6 little boys but if they couldn?t have a girl life would be unbearable. But a thread with all my favourite people being optimistic, despite ongoing disappointment, I like that. Also I managed to think of a seasonal name which had to be used .

We've been ttc for 21 months and 15 days. Everything seems okay with me, but DH's sperm is not quite what it might be (or at least it wasn't in April - many pills and a radical decrease in alcohol MUST have helped). Bit surprising as I am the aging one, he's 4 years younger. We have finally had our meeting at the fertility unit - lots of samples taken. I'm booked in for an ultrasound on Monday, then a HSG probably in December. Good timing as I'll be banned from getting pregnant, so can freely indulge over Christmas.

I really have gone on - I think that is 3 weeks worth of posting in one go.

Ready - sorry you are back to day 1, a self-indulgent weekend is hopefully on the cards.

Jess - what can I say? Fingers crossed

jess1996 · 25/10/2007 12:29

Sorry that it's definitely CD1 ready . I'll probably be joining you some time today or tomorrow. I'm having plenty of af pains on and off.

Hi rattling. I know what you mean. I've also been avoiding MN for the past couple of months. At the moment I just can't read posts about preferences for a girl or a boy or even posts from people worying about age gaps between siblings. I just want to shout out "I just want one healthy baby of either sex". Right now I just can't sympathise with anyone who already has one (or more) dc. Then I feel nasty for having such thoughts. I feel quite safe on this thread though!

herbaceous · 25/10/2007 13:40

Oooh yes! Just looking at thread titles like "I can't decide whether to have a baby in June or July" or "HELP!!! I can't fit my triplets in my new bugaboo" makes me want to go in and metaphorically bash some heads together.

I know I can get pregnant, just keep miscarrying. Late, too. Which is a double-edged sword - I sometimes wonder if loving and losing is perhaps worse than never loving at all.

coggy · 25/10/2007 15:58

Herbaceous... for you. I don't know your circumstances but I had a DS who got a knot in his cord and died on his due date.
I am thankful EVERY day that I had him......to begin with it gave me great hope that I could get pg and so it wouldn't be impossible to happen again.....now, almost 2 1/2 years later...that is of no comfort at all! I do understand the frustration of almost getting there...and it must be horribly cruel if it happens more than once.
(((hugs))) to you.
X

Ready...also lots of (((hugs))) and for you too.
Annoying, frustrating, disappointing and heart breaking I know....but I also know you will wholeheartedly try again later in this month because giving up just isn't an option for us is it?
Good bottle (or two) of wine tonight for you.

I have 'unexplained infertility' which is basically a PITA as if the IVF fails...that's it but I have no reason or 'cure'...VERY frustrating!
My GP (who is lovely) writes SUBfertility on my notes and it makes me feel a MILLION times better!!!

Jess...I started IUI in Jan this year and. although I only had 3 cycles, it lasted until the end of August/early Sept due to one thing and another!
I was told then that I would be lined up for IVF around January time...so not long in between IUI and IVF thankfully.
I am also rather a vetren TTCer...not quite as long as orchard girl but we started activly trying just over 8 years ago!!! We tried for almost 5 years and then randomly fell pg with DS (who was stillborn) and now we have been trying again for over two years. It truely is an epic journey!

Rah....a group session??!!! Sounds intreging...I shan't type what I want to type as it's rude!!!!!
I hope your bloods get back on time too.
Nothing like a bit of notice is there?!

coggy · 25/10/2007 15:59

Flippin' heck....I am writing essays the past couple of days....sorry!

ReadySteadyTrickOrTreat · 25/10/2007 17:29

I feel so terrible when I see those of you who have been through real trauma, and I am moping here and all I have is a few failed cycles under my belt. I am so sorry to all of you who have suffered so much pain You are my inspirations.

Rattlingchains - I am sooooo pleased to see you, chick!! I have thought about you plenty, and put the odd comment on the temp buddies thread for you, in the hope that you might have a lurk. Having a break from MN is sometimes for the best. That said, it is so wonderful to have proper support - it's not something you want to discuss at length with RL friends, well, I don't. How are you? I am pleased to hear that the ball is rolling at the fertility clinic. What is the ultrasound for? Good luck with the HSG, I had mine a couple of months back now.

Herbaceous - I am so sorry that you keep miscarrying, and late too I can't even begin to imagine how heartbreaking it is. I can see why you imagine if it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. It is something a lot of us have been thinking about - just to have a fertilised egg would feel like a step in the right direction. I hope that doesn't sound cold

Coggy - Never apologise for essays - they are the best posts I am notorious at the long posts - once I am on a roll, there's no reigning me in!!
My heart just breaks when I think of what you have been through, and I know it is mad to think that we can feel such emotions for people we have never met.
Of course you are right, I won't give up, it isn't an option is it. It is so hard to be faced with the disappointment every month, but I don't need to tell you that do I?! I am very tempted to have some vino this evening, and I am kicking myself for deciding against the goats cheese tart when I was out for dinner last night

Jess - I hope that you are not going to be joining me in another cycle, fingers crossed for you. Don't beat yourself up for having a reaction to the threads on here. I am with you, it takes every ounch of strength for me when I see these "flavour preference" threads - I can not and will never understand why people would actively try for a certain gender to 'balance' out their family. You are not alone in that. Hope you are ok?

Gilly - How are you feeling, chick? Agree that it must have been totally surreal listening to people talk about ancient history when you are having to deal with sadness and try to conceal it as best you can. Hope you are ok. Big hugs.

Noooomooooore - Where are you, sweets? Still bored at work?
I hate the thought of you going home and balling your eyes out Our DHs have a lot of emotion to cope with from us all don't they - I bet it is hard sometimes for them.

Orchidgirl - I know what you mean, sometimes charting can make you feel satisfied that you are doing what you can to maximise the chances. I go back and forth, the last few months I wasn't temping every day and I think that is possibly what made it more stressful for me, as I wasn't getting accurate graphs, or less so. But this month not temping and still no luck - so it doesn't seem to matter what I do.

Rah, Choc and Poppy - Hope you are all ok??

Rainbowdays - Thanks so much for thinking of me. Hope you are ok?

ReadySteadyTrickOrTreat · 25/10/2007 17:29

Coggy - I'll see your essay, and raise you a thesis

gillypumpkin · 25/10/2007 20:09

Ready in a strange kind of way I enjoyed the conversation on Alexander the Great; it was interesting and stimulating and for a couple of hours it reminded me why I work in such as amazing place (but slag it off too ) and it took the sadness away. I wasn't Gill who had mc a baby and was struggling to conceive again. I was a curious work colleague questioning an Iranian academic and I was thankful for that and the fact that I did not dwell on the sadness

Hi Herbaceous good to see you here. You too Rattling!

Don?t start me on those ?I fell pg?.? threads. I have lost the patience with some bits of MN; I think I?m getting very grumpy and cantankerous in my old age

noooomoooorescarynames · 25/10/2007 20:10

Hi rattling glad you like my thread, though to be honest I wish it didn't need to exsist Your circumstances sound similar to mine, ttc 23 cycles, DH swimmers not great but I'm also not ovulating (well I wasn't before Clomid) No egg + few (good) sperm = very slim chance of BFP. Now ov'ing on Clomid (4th cycle on it) but still no joy

noooomoooorescarynames · 25/10/2007 20:13

coggy what a horrible way to lose your DS I have seen your name on the tc boards occasionally but never knew your story
herbaceous just as for you. I can't say if loving and losing is worse or not, but I feel for you.

DracuRAH · 25/10/2007 21:01

Evening all, hope everyone is ok... have to go for some swabs tomorrow should be fun getting a large cotton wool bud shoved up you! LOL

Coggy, we seem to be in similar positions. However we have been trying for 3 1/2years. We also had a little boy but he was prem and died in neo-natal. I agree totally with you, I would far rather of had him than not at all. He was simple gorgeous, although it has been tremendously hard losing him. We also have unexplained infertility, but the doctors says we don't now as we conceived and had a baby.. IYKWIM..So does that mean it will be sub-fertility? Its so annoying isn't it? There must be something that can 'kick' start the old motor!
PMSL at your comments about our group session, I will walk in there now with ideas in my head! Perhaps they get us to swap around and try out new partners??? Just an idea?? A new development in infertility treatment?

herbaceous - nice to met you. Sorry to hear about your M/C's ((
Good news is that you can get pregnant, which is a start. Have you been through all the tests? I know someone that has had miscarriage after m/c, majority later on and she is now about 32 weeks pregnant. There was no explanation as to why she did not get to keep her other little ones. Its just heartbreaking..{{HUGS}}

Ready {{{HUGS}}} So sorry you are back to CD1. But yes you can go on, it will happen. Remember I was on about 18 months before my little man... so you could be near! I totally understand how you feel {{HUGS}} Its not fair I know...

Rainbowdays - Howdy there, hows tricks? Thanks for dropping in. Of course you will not offend. Thanks for thinking of us Hope all is good for you and your growing nicely

rattlingchains - excellent timing on your HSG! I got pregnant the month I had my lap and dye. No on told me to not get pregnant, they must of thought it was common sense! Good luck with your scan on Monday...

This message is so long already, I better just say hi to everyone else, before anyone reading this loses the will to live!

ReadySteadyTrickOrTreat · 25/10/2007 21:34

Q: I have spent the afternoon researching reflexologists that specialise in fertility issues... Has anyone on here had any reflexology? How much should I expect to pay? How many sessions should I have? Bottom line - will it help? (stupid question )

noooomoooorescarynames · 25/10/2007 21:36

I only ever experienced reflexology as a guinea pig for a friend who was training, can't say I found it very relaxing as she kept saying "hang on a minute...is it there?...or there?...let me check the book"
Having said that I've seen it highly recommended on here. I think I'd like to try accupuncture given the chance

ReadySteadyTrickOrTreat · 25/10/2007 22:20

PMSL at your guinea pig treatment

ReadySteadyTrickOrTreat · 25/10/2007 22:23

PMSL at Rah - cotton buds Shouldn't laugh, it's never nice is it. Keep thinking big picture

Gill - That's really good that you were able to distract yourself with work. Big hugs.

Shall I eat the chocolate orange on my own or shall I wait for dh???