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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC 35+ Thread 5 Cougar and Silver Fox Club

994 replies

claireb7rg · 12/10/2020 18:45

start of thread 5 Shock

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thislittlebird · 16/01/2021 13:26

@Kitekat81 thank you for the welcome! Do you mind me asking if you know why the wait is so long? 2023 seems ages. We’re waiting for an NHS referral and in the meantime I have booked private fertility tests and a consultation this week for late January and early February. Am worried my AMH might be poor, but my FSH was good when I was tested so fingers crossed that trend continues. I’m relieved to be getting some help I guess, not sure if I want to wait on the NHS times either if they’re long (not sure yet).

@Pamparam yeah, I have a whole unused bag of those cheapies here because I couldn’t find a peak when I tried. I got the CB monitor and sticks second hand from eBay so I have some but will need some more (not sure how often I’ll need to test yet, need to look into it because due to start using it in a couple of days).

I have a feeling I ovulate later than I thought like you, we were trying only around ovulation time really but I probably stopped too early quite often. Going to try all month this month and hopefully every day during the later than expected ovulation window. Hopefully I ovulate this month, I guess Confused

GuessHowMuch · 16/01/2021 14:03

Do you feel better having gone to the appointment and having a plan in place @Kitekat81? Sorry it wasn’t as good news as it could have been though. What does your other half feel about it?

@Marvellouslymadmum are you still tracking anything? I have no idea about long cycles (although my own cycles have been totally irregular for the last year or so 😬) but wondered if it’s worth keeping an eye on temps/OPKs to see if anything gears up for another ovulation?

AF due tomorrow for me. Lots of cramping and I’ve been seriously cranky so expecting her right on time. Tested at 11 DPO a couple of days ago and it was BFN. So why do I keep clinging on to that tiny smidge of hope?! 🙄😅

Kitekat81 · 16/01/2021 14:26

@thislittlebird my understanding is that it depends on how long you have been trying, and whether or not you have a diagnosis of infertility. If you have a diagnosis (e.g. both tubes are completely blocked, or your oh has near non-existent sperm) then you go on the waiting list straight away. The waiting list in my area is 10 months. If there is nothing obviously wrong - all tests come back ok - then you need to have been trying for 2 years before you can go on the waiting list. We've been trying since April 2020 so 2 years trying would be April 2022, plus 10 months would be January 2023. I think I naively thought that they would just put me on the waiting list at the first fertility appointment, and then just wait and see if in 10 months time we still need it, but alas that does not seem to be the case! What was your FSH result? Mine was 10.7, so borderline but not great.

@GuessHowMuch it's been a lot to take in and I've been pretty emotional trying to process it all over the last couple of days. The follicle count problem took me by surprise a bit as I was hoping I would be about average for my age, but seems I may be below average. I'm definitely glad we went as it's always good to have as much info as possible, and I'm glad at least that we now know what the next steps are so can keep moving forward. It has made me a little bit less optimistic that we will have a positive outcome at the end of all this, and all you ladies will be familiar with the absolutely gut wrenching feeling that thought brings. As for my oh, he is Mr Optimism as always! He is still really positive that we will find a way, one way or another. Thank goodness I have him to keep my spirits up!

Marvellouslymadmum · 16/01/2021 14:29

@GuessHowMuch I haven't been tracking anything since around 17th December, I was temping up until that point but kept forgetting as I was busy with Xmas stuff! I'm going to start again from tomorrow and I'm going to get some opk to but no idea which! I also want to start on some supplements but again no idea which lol

LittleAurora · 16/01/2021 16:24

I got sick of trying to squirt at lines ❤️

TTC 35+ Thread 5 Cougar and Silver Fox Club
thislittlebird · 16/01/2021 16:32

@Kitekat81 yeah that’s super frustrating. I hadn’t even got into the nhs that far yet because they didn’t give me my results properly in the summer so I have to redo some (they said it was fine initially but my day 21 test was actually borderline (17) so I have to redo soon). Hopefully it was borderline because I had to take it on a Monday instead of Saturday but we shall see. I hadn’t really considered how long it would take either, but I think we’re floating down the private route either way now because I don’t want to wait months really. I’m having a vaginal scan and bloods the end of this month including AMH, then a consultation early Feb. My FSH was 1.8 last summer but that was on day 21 ish but I don’t know how much of a difference that will make to my results. Hopefully the private clinic will do both for a better picture and they will tell me whether or not my internal scan looks good or not. What’s next on your to do list?

Happyhappy37 · 16/01/2021 16:38

@LittleAurora congratulations dear. Wishing you a very happy healthy 9 months ❤️💜.
Wonderful start to the new year

Loladoodle · 16/01/2021 21:02

Congrats @LittleAurora Great to have it confirmed 🎉

Pamparam · 16/01/2021 22:03

Congrats @LittleAurora!

Kitekat81 · 17/01/2021 11:03

@LittleAurora congratulations! 😊

@thislittlebird are you sure they did your FSH test on day 21? It should be done on day 2-5. The day 21 test is for progesterone, I think it should be more than 30 to confirm ovulation. That sounds good that you're getting a private fertility consultation, I think it's worth the money to find out where you stand. For me, next steps are to get the results of the blood test they did on Thursday (TSH and thyroid), and book a private HSG/HyCoSy. If my tubes are completely blocked, I'll know that we need to go straight to IVF. If they aren't, we'll keep trying naturally until we hit the year mark in April and then start looking into IVF. I'm also looking into acupuncture to see if that can do anything to help me, and I'll focus on things I can do to improve egg quality over the next few months. So a few things to keep me busy and moving forward in this process!

M4v3r1ck · 17/01/2021 13:05

@Marvellouslymadmum how bizarre! I agree with others and maybe do OPKs and BBT to see if you notice anything! Could be a randomly long cycle? 🤔 In terms of supplements, I take folic acid, vit D and just started CoQ10!

@Kitekat81 sorry you didn't get as good news as you hoped for! Can you remind me if this was private or NHS? More information is still great and glad you've got a good plan going forwards, plus you have a fabulous and positive attitude! Please keep us updated! 😘😘😘 I'm optimistic for us all on this group! It will absolutely happen, it might just take a little longer and need a bit of help on the way!

@GuessHowMuch any sign of AF? Remember you're not out until the witch arrives!!!!

M4v3r1ck · 17/01/2021 13:06

@LittleAurora excellent news! Here's to a healthy happy pregnancy! 😍😍😍

Marvellouslymadmum · 17/01/2021 13:24

@M4v3r1ck thank you, I've started temping this morning and looking at iPod to order, I bought the pregnancies conception suppliments for us both yesterday I'm just so confused with what's going on at the moment!

thislittlebird · 17/01/2021 14:24

@Kitekat81 yeah definitely day 21 (or just after). Without fail they send me for all tests (LH, FSH, progesterone) at the same time. I was aware from reading around here and elsewhere that it should be day 3 and I even raised it and they just ignored what I said Hmm. So I’m off to have them all done again in early Feb yet again on day 21. It’s been frustrating tbh. I try not to slag them off in the circumstances but my GP surgery has been really bad since the pandemic started and not being able to see anyone in person is making it harder to wade through all of this imo. Glad I booked the private tests really and I only did it because I flipped out on CD1 when AF arrived and it was light again (has been doing this for months which is giving me extra anxiety so I’m just hoping all the tests say I’m otherwise fine and it’s stress, but who knows yet).

I need to reconfirm which tests the private clinic are doing but I know they’re doing AMH and they said it didn’t matter which day I came for that either.

Did the nhs fertility clinic suggest thyroid tests? Not been told to have that yet but it has crossed my mind that I should probably check it some time. Sounds a similar situation to us really, good luck finding your private HSG/hycosy. I’m hoping they’ll tell me in the private consultation if I’m a good ivf candidate (I assume that’s part of the process anyway) and for the time being we will carry on trying and I’m going to temp and use CB fertility monitor this month as well.

I’m planning on starting acupuncture too! Just need to get all these tests done in late January and early Feb and then I’ll go for a consultation I think. My friend recommended her husband’s acupuncturist who specialises in fertility which was handy, I’m sort of looking forward to having something to go to each week even if it’s just relaxing.

thislittlebird · 17/01/2021 14:33

Forgot to add congrats to @LittleAurora!

Kitekat81 · 17/01/2021 15:15

@M4v3r1ck everything we've done so far is NHS and they've been great, but looking to do the next steps privately to move forward a bit more quickly now. Thank you for your positivity and good wishes! 😊

@thislittlebird your GP's got that wrong, they need to do FSH in the first few days of your cycle. FSH is Follicle Stimulating Hormone which stimulates the follicles to start the process of preparing for ovulation, so it doesn't make sense to measure it after ovulation! Yeh the NHS clinic took blood on Thursday to check TSH and my thyroid, so I'll get the results of that one on Tuesday. They don't do AMH on the NHS, so I might try and get that done privately at the same time as the HyCoSy, just so I've got all the information. That's cool you are looking into acupuncture as well, and how handy to have a recommendation! ☺️

thislittlebird · 17/01/2021 15:41

@Kitekat81 yeah I’ve been getting them to test me for FSH for years because my mother had an early menopause but every single GP I’ve dealt with at this surgery has sent me for all three tests at once on day 21 on various occasions. Genuinely don’t get it. I wish I’d known the day 3 thing months ago but I only learned about it recently and then when I asked about it and they didn’t seem very interested. It’s like they’re focussed on the day 21 test only and the others are supplementary, despite my protestations. I’ve emailed the private clinic today to confirm what tests they’re doing. Will get there in the end anyway, just wish the end of the month would get here.

How long did your nhs clinic referral take? I’m hoping they’ll do thyroid etc for me rather than pay privately but it depends how long the wait is Confused

Kitekat81 · 17/01/2021 16:13

@thislittlebird my GP wasn't able to refer us until I'd had the day 3 and day 21 bloods, and my partner had his semen analysis. I had my bloods done in Sept and oh had his SA in October (that was when the lab reopened after closing due to Covid). Then they referred us and a few weeks later we got a form to fill in from the fertility clinic. The form asked for mmr vaccination dates and when I called my surgery to check these, I discovered I'd only had one mmr when you need to have had two, so I had to have that re-done. I posted the completed form back to the fertility clinic on 6th November, and then we got an appointment on 14th Jan so 10 weeks which I didn't think was too bad.

GuessHowMuch · 17/01/2021 18:48

@M4v3r1ck no sign of AF 😬 But... I’ve had fairly irregular cycles, BFN a few days ago and also stopped DTD fairly early on in my cycle because of weird bleeding so I’m as sure as I can be that we won’t be successful this time. I’ve got my scan tomorrow (checking the weird bleeding isn’t anything sinister) so I’ll make sure I test in the morning before I go.

@Kitekat81 can I ask what you’re doing re: improving egg quality? This is something I think all of us seniors probably worry about given the positively geriatric age of our eggs 😬😅 I’ve been a bit worried about my TSH which was 4.5 last year and seemed to be on an upward trajectory from previous tests. I must make the effort to get it checked again.

I’ve set alarms the last two days to do my temp and both times have groggily thought ‘nah!’ and rolled over to doze. Damn it!

Kitekat81 · 17/01/2021 20:34

@GuessHowMuch for egg quality there's a really good book called "it starts with the egg" have you seen it? It goes through all the things you can do to improve quality i.e. diet, supplements, environmental factors etc. For diet it's pretty obvious - aim for a Mediterranean diet, lots of fish, vegetable, nuts etc. There is a supplements plan with different levels - basic for if you are just starting and have no reason to think anything's wrong, intermediate for if you've been trying basic for a while and need to step it up, advanced for if you are preparing for ivf, or if you have a known condition e.g. endometriosis. Then there are things in your environment you can do e.g. removing plastics from your kitchen, not using products like fabric softeners that have phalates in them. I've been doing the basic supplements plan for about 6 months, and have been taking a prenatal multivitamin, plus extra vitamin D, extra methylfolate, 200mg of ubiquinol (CoQ10) and omega 3 fish oil. I'm starting to step up to the intermediate plan so have already added vit c and vit e, and am thinking about upping the ubiquinol to 300mg or 400mg (putting this one off because it's quite expensive). To be honest I can't say that any of this works as clearly I'm still not pregnant, but the book is very convincing, and I like to think that I'm doing everything I can!

For your temperature, rather than setting an alarm, why don't you try just taking it when you wake up naturally, and see if you start to see a pattern emerging by doing it that way? As long as you are backing it up with other tools like opks or tracking cm, you could still get useful information from your temp tracking without it being 100% accurate.

MgW1 · 17/01/2021 20:54

@M4v3r1ck
Hi , so where are at with things ? Have you had a period since mc? I cant keep up with everyone sp apologies if I have already asked ! Been chatting to a few ladies on here and on my other group who unfortunately have been in a similar sitiluation to us , its been so helpful xx

bubblybrit · 17/01/2021 22:03

Evening All. I hope it’s ok to join. I had a MMC in December and currently waiting on my first period in order to start TTC once again.

I have a DD so will be TTC #2.

Feeling a little anxious as I’m almost 37 and keep reading how much more difficult it is to get pregnant after age 35. Even my GP mentioned this when I went in for a check up post MC to check iron levels as I was anaemic whilst pregnant. I now feel a bit of pressure to conceive before I turn 37 which is ridiculous when I write it down!

Pamparam · 17/01/2021 22:25

Welcome @bubblybrit. Luckily the cliff edge at 35 is very much exaggerated. It is a slower decline in fertility. If you had no issues conceiving your first then it’s unlikely some big issues will have suddenly come up! I was 37 when I had my LO! Sorry about your MMC x

MgW1 · 18/01/2021 00:04

@bubblybrit
Same here , im 37 , had 2 mc and low iron levels!
Im ttc #3 xx

bubblybrit · 18/01/2021 07:38

Thanks @Pamparam. I fell pregnant within 6 months with DD and conceived on my first cycle with baby number 2 which sadly ended in MC. So I know I don’t have much reason to be anxious but can’t shake the feeling x

@MgW1. I’m sorry about your losses. It’s such a stressful time. Fingers crossed that 2021 is a good year for all of us x