Over 40's TTC lots of baby dust to us all 6

[Chatbash72]

New thread ladies 💕

It's amazing how much better I feel after a day off and a good night's sleep.

I'd been surviving on 5-6 hours a night for a few weeks and I think my period arriving yesterday just tipped me over the edge. I spent most of the day in tears but went for a walk with partner last night and took a sleeping tablet to ensure I slept and I slept from 10 through till 6.30 so must have been tired. Had a shower this morning and feel so much better. We've also extended our camping trip at the end of the month so I now have 11 days of work around the bank holiday.

What's the chances of ivf success over say 3 rounds at 41 but with low amh so only 1-2 blasts max per cycle? I just don't know if it's worth the expense?

@lucieloos, this is my situation (except I'm tapping out after 2 rounds) and the consultant gave us a 14% success rate (live birth) per round (but it goes down a bit with each consecutive round). So not great but a small chance.

Should also say, this is with my own eggs and in a UK clinic.

@ecostats thank you I've been in touch with my clinic and they said overall after 3 rounds about a 35% live birth rate. It's so hard to know what to do as it will cost us not far off £15k for those 3 rounds and the chances are not that high but it's still a relatively decent 1 in 3 chance.

@lucieloos, I guess it's about managing your expectations. For under 35s the success rate after 3 rounds is 80%. But for 40-42, it's 35% so it's a big difference. But as you say, that's still 1 in 3, which sounds pretty good odds to me, considering my chances of conceiving naturally over 3 cycles are a lot lower than that.
For me, setting a limit on the number of cycles has been helpful. IVF can be very stressful and emotional, and knowing that there is a end point has helped me to start to come to terms with the fact that it may not be successful and we will not have another child. Are you looking at a 3-cycle package or are you thinking about financing each cycle separately?

Also, my clinic does not offer add-ons (e.g. endo scratch), and I don't have complementary therapies like accupuncture so we just pay the same fixed fee for each round (although the prices just went up!)

@ecostats yes I guess it just finding the cash for it as we already have quite a lot on credit cards from previous treatments and it would really stretch us. I was looking at a package as it saves quite a lot and I would anticipate having to have more than one go and in my head I just think having 3 tries we would have given it our all and not much more we could have done. All well and good if it works but it's a lot of money to spend if it doesn't.

@lucieloos, it's a challenge weighing it all up, for sure. I haven't seen much discussion about the financial burden of IVF on MN pages really...but the costs can be enormous. I think your idea of 3 rounds is a good one as that's what's advised by the WHO. But equally, would committing to spending that much money cause you a lot of stress? There's definitely not an easy answer to this, and luck plays a big part on whether IVF is successful, which I find difficult to get my head around as it's (another) thing that we have no control over!

@ecostats it would have to go on a credit card and as I say we already have quite a bit from previous treatments on there so it wouldn't be easy. We would get by I guess but it's not really like we have that money available to use and it would just mean giving up a holiday or something like that as we don't. Another consideration is that this would be our 3rd baby. We've been through many, many rounds of ivf and literally experienced it all but we were very lucky to eventually come away with 2 babies from eggs retrieved when I was 37. I always imagined 3 children and whilst it may be very hard for some to understand as I certainly never did when I was going through ivf for the first or even second but I just don't feel like our family is complete and it's a really hard feeling to shake especially when your hands are so tied with what you can do about it.

@lucieloos, it sounds like you've been through a lot but it was worth it! Wanting another child is something that's heartfelt not a logical decision so it's understandable if you feel you want another. The financial aspect of financing the next 3 rounds sounds pretty significant though.

Had my growth scan yesterday at 27w5d and everything is well. Baby has grown nicely, around 1.29kg now. Did loads of yoga poses 😚 my DH wasn’t allowed in due to COVID restrictions and I asked the sonographer to print me a couple of images. And the baby happily obliged 🙃

Onto the next growth scan at 32 weeks 😚

Can’t believe I’m hitting 3rd trimester tomorrow 😱

How's everyone doing/feeling? Thinking of you all 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@Russkispy, brilliant news on your scan. It always makes me smile when there's good news on this thread...it sort of gives me hope!

@maryshelley1818, just wondering whether you got your results today? Hope you did and they are good news.

[quote ecostats]@Russkispy, brilliant news on your scan. It always makes me smile when there's good news on this thread...it sort of gives me hope!

@maryshelley1818, just wondering whether you got your results today? Hope you did and they are good news.[/quote]
Hi lovely, it's been horrendous week unfortunately.

Was prescribed Insulin on Tuesday for my blood sugars and still not under control.

NIPT results came back yesterday and were inconclusive AGAIN!! The scientist at the lab spoke to us and basically said we can have one more free redraw but she strongly recommends waiting until 20wks to ensure enough fetal DNA. She said it's common?!

I was distraught and sobbed my heart out, rang NHS Midwife who said I was within time limits to have Combined Screening (14wks today and you can only do screening until 14+1) BUT they had no spaces available to do it.
I spent 3hrs sobbing on the phone and finally the Head of Midwifery managed to get a different hospital to agree to do it this morning at 11am. I cried through the entire scan as I know age will automatically trigger a high risk result but baby looked absolutely 'perfect' NT measured 1.5mm which I believe is good, and sonographer was very reassuring. She said hopefully if my bloods come back good that with the low NT it might be enough to get me out of high risk.
She said nothing she saw gave her any concern at all.
Just another anxious wait now xx

Oh love that sounds so tough 😢 lean on us till your next scan, we're here for you!

Scan? I meant bloods

@maryshelley1818, what an emotional and stressful week. You probably don't feel it but you've done so well to get through it all. And the scan does sound positive but it must be agonising waiting to get the actual results. I have literally everything crossed for you

Thank you so much lovely ladies, you are very kind xxx

Hello ladies,
Just catching up, had my grandpas funeral a few weeks ago and then we zipped off on holiday. But had at make a hasty return yesterday rather than on Monday due to our destination 🇫🇷 that was fun !!! 😳
Am 47 days, had a strange cycle this cycle with bleeding/spotting day 7/11..
all signs that this could have been good.. minor spotting ( maybe twice) last week. But today bright red streak.. 🥺🥺🥺
Going to take it easy but what will happen will happen.. just 🙏🙏🤞🤞 big love to you all

So today is our 12 month mark 😢

Partner did his repeat SA yesterday so now waiting for the results. I'm cd6 today so about to start the opk testing again

@MaryShelley1818 age does not automatically lead to high risk and with an NT measurement like that it is likely your risk result will be low. That's shite about needing another redraw! I wonder why that is?!
Don't forget there's so much they can see in the scan too. I had a chromosomal abnormality emwith my third pregnancy and sonographer knew immediately that the baby was poorly, NT of 5.8 and cystic hygroma as well as fluid round the baby. I went to a private clinic for my nipt when I was pregnant again and it was the same lady that had performed my scan at fetal medicine unit. She said my nipt would come back low risk and that this baby was nothing like my previous. She was right!

[quote Rubyroost]@MaryShelley1818 age does not automatically lead to high risk and with an NT measurement like that it is likely your risk result will be low. That's shite about needing another redraw! I wonder why that is?!
Don't forget there's so much they can see in the scan too. I had a chromosomal abnormality emwith my third pregnancy and sonographer knew immediately that the baby was poorly, NT of 5.8 and cystic hygroma as well as fluid round the baby. I went to a private clinic for my nipt when I was pregnant again and it was the same lady that had performed my scan at fetal medicine unit. She said my nipt would come back low risk and that this baby was nothing like my previous. She was right![/quote]
Thank you for all of that information, and thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry, that must have been very difficult xxx
I really appreciate it, it is reassuring xx

@MaryShelley1818 I hope you can get some relief and reassurance from the nhs test, I really think the nuchal is key though. Yes, it was very hard, but it was part of my journey and now I have a five month old who is the sweetest baby making funny noises at me in between sucking my breast (how else do I put it?! 🤷🏼‍♀️
The pregnancy with him was a bit difficult towards the end as I had gest diabetes and polyhydramnios. But it all turned out okay. I know how hard and worrying it can be so I really wish you the best of luck. X

[quote Rubyroost]@MaryShelley1818 I hope you can get some relief and reassurance from the nhs test, I really think the nuchal is key though. Yes, it was very hard, but it was part of my journey and now I have a five month old who is the sweetest baby making funny noises at me in between sucking my breast (how else do I put it?! 🤷🏼‍♀️
The pregnancy with him was a bit difficult towards the end as I had gest diabetes and polyhydramnios. But it all turned out okay. I know how hard and worrying it can be so I really wish you the best of luck. X[/quote]
Awww that's amazing, so happy you got your baby :) Can't believe 5mths have passed already!
Yeah the gestational diabetes isn't fun, especially the Insulin side but I knew it was coming so was prepared. I just hope the NHS test comes back low risk and then I'm just going to cancel the NIPT redraw and start to relax. I feel so detached atm and I'd love to start enjoying it and start believing there will actually be a little baby at the end of this xx

@MaryShelley1818 I never really enjoyed my second successful pregnancy like my firsy. Although I already had 1 miscarriage before my first and was still very anxious, I felt like one of those glowing healthy women and felt so much love for my baby. I never got that with my second. I still really enjoyed all the movements etc, but never truly enjoyed it and felt shit for most of it. I didn't feel the love I felt for my firstborn in the same way either. But, God I did when he was out. I was massive though and the extra fluid made me very uncomfortable. I did enjoy it somewhere between 12 weeks and 24 weeks I think until all the growth scans etc.